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Rent-A-Cop posted:So earlier today me [44m] and the platonic lady friend [19.5f] were talking the bonezone express to ladyparts station when... I, personally, reserve the right to dickpunch anyone who says "Vajayjay".
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Feb 14, 2020 22:42
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Neito posted:I, personally, reserve the right to dickpunch anyone who says "Vajayjay". Obviously, the correct term is "hoo-ha"
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Feb 14, 2020 22:50
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So many good thread titles lately! r/relationships: who’s cum is in me Bonus points for keeping the poor grammar
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Feb 14, 2020 22:52
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sephiRoth IRA posted:So many good thread titles lately! Its only good as question not a statement.
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Feb 14, 2020 22:54
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So my partner and I had just come back from enjoying some appies at Chile's when we decided to go to pound town. I'm inside her snickerdoodle, totally vibin' in the bone zone and of course she's totally into me topping her muffin. And whenever we're on the train to the Cumdrop Forest in Randyland she does this thing where she just starts repeating memes. She keeps saying "snoop my boop" or "like and subscribe to my rear end in a top hat." Anyway, the reason I'm asking Reddit is that my partner and I can't agree on our monthly Reddit Gold budget, and we need help drafting a contract regarding our spending on it.
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Feb 14, 2020 22:54
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Giant Isopod posted:Obviously, the correct term is "hoo-ha" I GOT YOU ALL IN CHECK
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Feb 14, 2020 22:55
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AITA for telling my 17 year old foster daughter that she needs to marry her boyfriend as soon as possible? I realize that this sounds horrible. I usually would never support let alone encourage something like this, and I never thought that being a foster parent would involve encouraging teenagers to get married. My foster daughter is 17, we'll call her Anna. Anna has a chronic, lifelong medical condition that is very, very difficult to get fully covered by medical insurance. Many people with her condition end up rationing their medication and die horrible deaths as a result. This condition doesn't qualify her for Medicaid on its own like HIV does. She has a "boyfriend". Legally, she's not supposed to, so I have to pretend I don't know, but we do have rules about it. They're childhood best friends, from even before she was in foster care, and the relationship has only recently become more than friends. He's 18, and will be 19 shortly after she turns 18. They're responsible, and they're not unsupervised ever. He's joined a branch of the military (trying to be vague here). He understands the situation, and has offered to marry her. She's turning 18 soon, and with that, means an end to her having insurance. Marrying her boyfriend would give her tricare, which is arguably the best coverage available. The medical insurance would be a lifesaver for her. Beyond that, the housing allowance would give her (and him) a stable home base to purse educational goals that she wouldn't have access to otherwise. There are scholarships for former foster youth, but they're worthless if she's homeless and dying. With medical care and a stable home, she can have a real future. They have a stable friendship if nothing else, and they both understand struggle. I hate that this is the case, but the best case scenario for her is to marry this guy at 18. I've encouraged her to do it and laid out the facts and benefits. She can't stay with me for very long past her birthday. I can keep her for a month so she can graduate high school, but long term isn't possible financially, and she needs insurance. My friends think I'm horrible for encouraging a teenager to get married regardless of circumstance and seem to live in a dream world where there has to be another way.
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Feb 14, 2020 23:03
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my 17 year old foster daughter that she needs to marry her boyfriend as soon as possible?  tuberculosis?
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Feb 14, 2020 23:08
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Neito posted:It was teeth whitening treatments, but it happened to Ross, so it should've been a gunshot to the head. nah it's the one where he's deciding between Rachel and his asian girlfriend so he writes out a pros/cons list but forgets to actually write any pros and Rachel sees it and freaks out
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Feb 14, 2020 23:10
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hawowanlawow posted:
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Feb 14, 2020 23:12
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AITA for saying my brother's fiancée is weird due to her comments on my children and not apologizing? My brother is getting married and decided to come back to our country to do so. We only knew his fiancée (I'll call her Anne) from brief video calls and social media, which didn't happen a lot since we all have our jobs and on my end I have two toddlers to care for. Now, the toddlers are identical twins. My brother and Anne know about them and I have sent a few pictures but besides that I'm not comfortable with posting them all over the internet. So they would have their first proper interaction with them once they moved here. I'm used to the way people react to the twins when they first meet them, but usually they end up moving on from it. This did not happen to Anne. The first meeting was pretty standard but everything else after that started to bug me. All the conversations she started were about the twins. At first I thought maybe, since I wasn't very available to properly meet her, we didn't have a lot of topics to pick from. But after a few trials of hanging out, I realized she was just talking about my kids regardless of where I tried to steer the conversation. She would send me stuff like, "studies" talking about twins dynamics and how to better take care in order to accommodate them. I say "studies" because most of it was clickbait articles that would treat twins as something "other". Then, she started to comment on the way that I dress them, saying that I should dress them like twins. By that she meant that I should make them use the same clothes which is not something that I care about and I told her as much. The thing that set me off was that she started pushing me to get them either into modelling or acting because it would be a great opportunity for them. I told her I had no interest in this because I don't feel comfortable exposing them like this at such a young age. She didn't listen to what I said and started sending me contact info for agencies and later offering to take care of things herself. I decided it would be best to address the situation and this is where I may have messed up things. I told her that her actions were making me uncomfortable and that I was not happy with the way she addressed my kids. She needed to tone down the weirdness. At first she just apologized and said that it was not her intention but later she started posting really specific content about belonging in a family and things like that. I was determined to ignore it but now, my brother is aware of what was said and is demanding an apology because apparently Anne just wants to get along with our family and I'm pushing her away.
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Feb 14, 2020 23:19
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Giant Isopod posted:Obviously, the correct term is "hoo-ha" I had a brief (2 month) relationship with a woman who would only refer to our genitals by "hoo-ha" and "ding-dong" We were both in our early 30s. I didn't need to break up with her, she self-destruct doubt-spiraled herself out of it quick enough and broke up with me, then couldn't understand why I wanted to stay home and play a computer game instead of going out to brunch with her the morning she broke up.
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Feb 14, 2020 23:19
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Those of you with Stitcher Premium: this week's episode of Hollywood Handbook Pro Version (111: Sweetie's Advice) once again delves into /r/relationships posts, including some covered in this thread. Starts about 12 minutes in: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/earwolf-premium/hollywood-handbook-pro-version Fair warning for those who don't like when people call these things out as obviously fake, they do point out and mock several of the hallmarks of not-so-creative writing that pop up regularly.
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Feb 14, 2020 23:42
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I (26M) am not sure if I want to keep on dating (25M) after discovering he slept with a woman in the past Throwaway. Bob and I have been dating for 6 months. It's a great relationship, one of the best I ever had, if not the best. He is a loyal man, a sweet man, and an intelligent man. Bob and I have always identified as gay. When I was between my 16-18 I dated women, because I was unsure about my sexuality, once I was certain, I never looked back. Same goes for Bob, however, he told me that when he was 23, he slept with a woman again. It was not really sex, it was more forplay, but still. It was with one of his ex-coworkers and it was in a time after a bad break-up, where he hadn't slept with anyone for a year. The woman also knew he was gay. They never met up again. He told me that he regretted it, because he did it because he felt unloved and unattractive and it showed lack of professionalism from his part and he felt like he betrayed himself and other people who knew he was gay. I am 100% aware of the fact that this happend before we dated. But I can't get over it. It shows weakness and a lack of certainty about his sexual orientation. I am thinking of breaking up with him. What do you guys think about this? Tl;dr: I want to break up with my bf who slept with a woman before, is this reasonable?
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Feb 14, 2020 23:59
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Rent-A-Cop posted:So earlier today me [44m] and the platonic lady friend [19.5f] were talking the bonezone express to ladyparts station when... cumshitter posted:So my partner and I had just come back from enjoying some appies at Chile's when we decided to go to pound town. I'm inside her snickerdoodle, totally vibin' in the bone zone and of course she's totally into me topping her muffin. And whenever we're on the train to the Cumdrop Forest in Randyland she does this thing where she just starts repeating memes. She keeps saying "snoop my boop" or "like and subscribe to my rear end in a top hat."
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Feb 15, 2020 00:01
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HMS Beagle posted:I (26M) am not sure if I want to keep on dating (25M) after discovering he slept with a woman in the past Dump him. Only men whose homosexuality has been forged and purified in white hot flame are worth dating. Tell him to come back when he's ready to get serious about being gay.
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Feb 15, 2020 00:03
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cumshitter posted:Dump him. Only men whose homosexuality has been forged and purified in white hot flame are worth dating. Tell him to come back when he's ready to get serious about being gay. What constitutes "serious"?
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Feb 15, 2020 00:06
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r/relationships: like and subscribe to my rear end in a top hat
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Feb 15, 2020 00:07
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Smirking_Serpent posted:r/relationships: like and subscribe to my rear end in a top hat only if you ring my bell to get those juicy updates
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Feb 15, 2020 00:10
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my 17 year old foster daughter that she needs to marry her boyfriend as soon as possible? She is on Medicaid now and one of the provisions of the ACA that still works was letting foster children who age out keep that coverage until they are 26. The intent was that Medicaid acts as the equivalent of a parent with insurance. In many states a foster child who ages out can go to a state university for free with some sort of living stipend. Occasionally something good still happens.  An unironic: “Thanks Obama.” On the other hand with limited support only about 3% of the kids in my state end up using it and I doubt we are exceptional on that stat so we are still in hellworld.
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Feb 15, 2020 00:13
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Kenshin posted:I had a brief (2 month) relationship with a woman who would only refer to our genitals by "hoo-ha" and "ding-dong" Patton Oswalt had a good bit about the way that using g-rated words to talk about sex makes you sound like a loving serial killer. Whenever I read a reddit post like that, all I can think about is him exclaiming “I’M GONNA FILL YOUR HOO-HA WITH GOOF JUICE!”
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Feb 15, 2020 00:16
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Ugly In The Morning posted:“I’M GONNA FILL YOUR HOO-HA WITH GOOF JUICE!” We know Goofy, you gently caress.
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Feb 15, 2020 00:21
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pentyne posted:What constitutes "serious"? How many assholes are you subscribed to?
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Feb 15, 2020 00:21
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cumshitter posted:How many assholes are you subscribed to? Do any of them have joint agreements to consolidate their email newsletters? I am worried about spam.
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Feb 15, 2020 00:29
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I always figured Goofy’s wife died in a house fire because Goofy decided to use the oven. Either that or a hunter shot her.
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Feb 15, 2020 00:29
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Man, it's not easy being even a slightly bi dude. It's hilarious how within the gay community they'll often react to bi dudes with the same panic and disgust as our culture used to reserve for gay folk and see nothing wrong with it. And by hilarious I mean really tragic and bad.
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Feb 15, 2020 00:34
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Dating a VERY distant relative, and my mom is madquote:So, I (24F) started dating Carson (25M) around New Years. We met a work (we are both servers at a popular steakhouse chain), and we’ve been friends for a while. Slowly, it became something more, and now we are official. top comment posted:Your one parent and his one parent are 1st cousins, making you 2 second cousins
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Feb 15, 2020 00:34
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pentyne posted:What constitutes "serious"? what constitutes "dating" is an equally daunting question
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Feb 15, 2020 01:02
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We're all brothers and sisters.
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Feb 15, 2020 01:26
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Licarn posted:Dating a VERY distant relative, and my mom is mad Hmmm nope
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Feb 15, 2020 01:29
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Licarn posted:Dating a VERY distant relative, and my mom is mad What is the cousin number to be acceptable for dating?
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Feb 15, 2020 01:31
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pentyne posted:What is the cousin number to be acceptable for dating? There is no acceptable number if you're posting on Reddit, they should not be dating.
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Feb 15, 2020 01:38
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cumshitter posted:So my partner and I had just come back from enjoying some appies at Chile's when we decided to go to pound town. I'm inside her snickerdoodle, totally vibin' in the bone zone and of course she's totally into me topping her muffin. And whenever we're on the train to the Cumdrop Forest in Randyland she does this thing where she just starts repeating memes. She keeps saying "snoop my boop" or "like and subscribe to my rear end in a top hat." this post gave me a nosebleed
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Feb 15, 2020 01:38
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Sunswipe posted:Wait until they start acting up, stand up and loudly say "Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I came here for a job interview, not to take part in your sexual roleplay." I’m hoping that this is what they are actually expecting because that is the one of the dumbest loving interviews I’ve ever read about. Of course, they probably think this is a brilliant idea and that reaction will just convince everybody involved, aside from the interviewee, that this is clearly the best way to find the correct candidates.
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Feb 15, 2020 01:41
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Vim Fuego posted:this post gave me a nosebleed Jesus gently caress.
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Feb 15, 2020 01:41
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pentyne posted:What is the cousin number to be acceptable for dating? Legally, I don't think 2nd cousin is actually banned anywhere. Medically, 2nd cousin should be fine in isolation. Even a 1st cousin is sort of borderline, but it goes downhill fast if there's a whiff of consanguinity between your most recent generations of ancestors. Socially, large parts of the developed world are likely to be grossed out by it though.
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Feb 15, 2020 03:13
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AITA for not wanting my wife to "invest" our money into MLMquote:Today my wife came to me talking about how her co-workers are all telling her about a new business opportunity. I was excited until she started talking about how it is selling weight loss teas and supplements and being an "independent distributor" for a multi level marketing company. She wants us to cut back on well.... everything so she can save up $1000 to invest in it. She's a textbook example of someone who's swallowed their bullshit hook, line, and sinker. Plugging "MLM" into Reddit's search box reveals a whole bunch of threads to the tune of "AITA for telling my friend/relative that they've been scammed?".
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Feb 15, 2020 03:15
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Advice on banishing someone from my lifequote:So, I want to banish the girl my partner cheated with from my life. We've talked out what happened with him but I can't stop thinking about the other woman. I catch myself going through her instagram stories eventhough I've silenced her so nothing pops up on my feed. Intrusive thoughts disrupt my peace when I'm at work and it's driving me crazy.
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Feb 15, 2020 03:17
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AITA for refusing to give my fiancée her dream engagement ring that was also initially bought for my ex-girlfriend? So I proposed to my gf last November. We’ve been dating for 3 years and I got her a ring that we picked out together. Before I met her, I was briefly engaged to my high school sweetheart but we split on mutual terms that were still very painful for me. The ring I had was sold to me for very cheap by her grandma, an heirloom ruby ring from the 1920s. After we split she didn’t want the ring back because of memories. I tried to give it back to her grandma but she didn’t want it either and told me to keep it to remember them by, which was really nice. I didn’t really want to keep it either but felt bad about selling such an old item so I gave it to my sister. Well, my now-fiancée found out about this ring while at my sister’s house a while back. She saw it and FELL IN TOTAL LOVE with this ring. She’s admittedly really picky with jewelry and struggles to find stuff she’s willing to wear long-term. But she tried it on and it was a perfect fit and exactly what she had wanted without knowing it. We’ve now been fighting because I REALLY don’t want her to wear this ring. My sister says my fiancée can have it if she wants and obviously she really really wants it, more than the one we picked out together. I don’t want to see this ring on her to be honest and would rather her wear anything else. My fiancée is disturbed I still care so much and now accuses me of not being over my ex. I am over her, I just don’t want my fiancée to wear this ring in particular. I feel like this whole situation is bizarre but both my fiancée and my sister are telling me to get over it and let her wear this ring. AITA? Edit: lots of confusion over the ring ownership. I gave this ring to my sister years ago to keep in her jewelry box (since I don’t have one). I told her she can wear it herself or give it to someone as long as she tells me. If my fiancée wanted this ring to wear very occasionally, I’d be more okay with it. But she wants to wear it exclusively as an engagement ring, all the time, and she’d want to tell people I gave it to her specifically for our engagement, not as some random gift from my sister. All of this I’m extremely uncomfortable with considering the tough period I was in the last time I saw that ring every day.
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Feb 15, 2020 03:20
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Cockmaster posted:AITA for not wanting my wife to "invest" our money into MLM What kind of loser's life dream is to do lovely MLM sales anyway, smdh
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Feb 15, 2020 03:26
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