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Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for asking my ex to consider signing over rights to my wife?

lmfao he didn't even ask his wife beforehand, fuckin genius



My [24F] boyfriend [26M] of 5 months yelled at me and started a huge argument because I'm helping a friend sue someone

quote:

My boyfriend Tyler and I haven't been together that long so I wanted to see if other people think his behavior is a red flag and something to watch out for.

I spent some time early on Saturday helping my friend figure out how to sue someone who owes her a few thousand dollars in small claims court. I'm not a lawyer but I know enough about small claims and laws about these things that I can help a little. I started with helping my friend write a demand letter which is a formal way of informing the person that they owe the money and will be sued if they don't pay. The person had ignored all previous messages, but this is more official and there will be evidence that they received the letter.

My boyfriend Tyler asked me last night what I had been up to earlier in the day, and I told him about helping my friend.

Tyler got so upset and went on this rant about how much people sue for every little thing and asked if my friend was suing because someone looked at her funny. I said this person owed my friend a lot of money and that I was actually hoping that a formal letter with legalese and official demands would intimidate the person into paying up without needing to sue them.

Tyler said "so you're making threats now??" I said it's not a threat I'm not the mob demanding protection money. If the person pays what they owe, they'll never hear anything about this ever again. Tyler said "sounds a lot like a threat to me."

He then asked if I had considered if my friend had lied to me and she had already been paid or not been owed any money at all, and that I had been helping her threaten an innocent person. I said I'm not the judge here, and I have no way to tell, since I don't even know this person, so I can only get my friends side of the story. She asked for my help and I gave it. If she lied, she'll lose the case when it goes to court. He told me that lawyers can get in trouble for bringing frivolous cases to court. I told him that didn't matter because I'm not a lawyer and I'm not doing a lawyers job. The court doesn't care if I write a letter for my friend or tell her what paperwork to fill out.

He said that was awful that I didn't care if an innocent person got in trouble as long as I was ok. Then he calmed himself and said he was disappointed and should go home.

I texted him this morning and he said "I'm not mad at you. I get you only wanted to help your friend. But I just wish you would stop and think about how your actions can affect others."

At least he isn't mad, but I'm really bothered by how he reacted. He took a situation that he didn't know much about and formed some crazy conclusion with no evidence and yelled at me. I'm also worried that he's the type of person who will always refuse to do anything that might upset someone, even if that person is doing something wrong and is hurting us. If we stay together and have a serious relationship and life together, I don't want to have to be the "bad guy" all the time with no support.

Do you think this could be a problem? How should I bring it up with him?

Tldr: boyfriend got mad at me for "threatening" someone because I am helping my friend get her money back.

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pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Miss posted:

lmfao he didn't even ask his wife beforehand, fuckin genius



My [24F] boyfriend [26M] of 5 months yelled at me and started a huge argument because I'm helping a friend sue someone


If I've learned anything from the SA legal advice thread its that 95% of the times lawyers are basically there to say "no don't do that it is illegal" to clients who dont listen even while paying $400 an hour to listen to it.

Gonna be real fun when OP gets a court summons and all her "letters" are entered as evidence of harassment and intimidation.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Miss posted:

lmfao he didn't even ask his wife beforehand, fuckin genius



My [24F] boyfriend [26M] of 5 months yelled at me and started a huge argument because I'm helping a friend sue someone


I don’t see any yelling but this lady is a dumbo.

Filing small claims papers is one thing demand letters and poo poo is a whole different ball game lol.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

MarcusSA posted:

I don’t see any yelling but this lady is a dumbo.

Filing small claims papers is one thing demand letters and poo poo is a whole different ball game lol.

The comments, most having been deleted, all focused on telling her to seriously ask her BF why he is so upset over her "helping a friend" and that he's probably a deadbeat who also owes people money.

Tomfoolery
Oct 8, 2004

pentyne posted:

Gonna be real fun when OP gets a court summons and all her "letters" are entered as evidence of harassment and intimidation.

Oh cool you're the boyfriend from the story!

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Tomfoolery posted:

Oh cool you're the boyfriend from the story!

They ain’t wrong though. Helping with the small claims court paper work is fine.

Sending fake legalese demand letters is lol and dumb.

Tomfoolery
Oct 8, 2004

MarcusSA posted:

They ain’t wrong though. Helping with the small claims court paper work is fine.

Sending fake legalese demand letters is lol and dumb.

It might be dumb, but jumping straight to harassment and intimidation is exactly what the boyfriend did.

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...
me (17M) hosed up by getting into a fight with my (32F) aunt

quote:

I was in my room beating my monster meat and my aunt was listening at the door which was slightly creaky and opened just a hair, I had forgotten to latch the little hooky thing that makes it close all the way (it's drafty and no permanent locks because my Mom doesn't like them, she likes to burst in on me randomly to see what I'm up to or offer me cooked food / sandwiches from the kitchen) so anyways I'm slamming that donkey for a clam chowder explosion and my dubiously full named aunt "Felyenmahne Phuiz Chalk" is moaning from the other side of the door. Every time I start stroking the badstick I have to stop because incest is not my groove and it's breaking up the flow of my solo dance with one eyed Solomon. So it's 1 pump, 2 pump, moan, look of disgust on my face, stop, wait, no moaning, 1 pump, 2 pump, moan - I can tell she's just trying to wait until I get close to splurting before she slams the door open and tries to gobble me down again, and I'm trying to have a magic mike moment to myself for once and climax into a teddy bear I cut a hole in using a jigsaw. (it just feels cleaner, im not into animals like that) eventually I get pissed off and I jump up from my bed stark rear end naked and open the door completely and lo and behold my aunt is totally nude riding some sort of makeshift dildo she crafted out of kitchen appliances and an electric egg whipper. Alright, so it's whipping a different type of egg, no big deal, its not my tools anyways it's my folks and she's gonna have to explain that one not me.

"bitch," I says I says, "get on out of here with that poo poo, I'm trying to massage my little friend," and I take this moment to ball up my left fist and slam it hard into her eye socket.

"oh you ittle hit" she says through her now mostly crumpled facial features and she tackles me to the ground and starts riding me pogo style.

in my head im thinking "this poo poo again," and trying to get to my feet, but every time I try to do my kemosabe ninja flip it ends up being a waist-like thrust into her and im like "I didnt want to gently caress you before i irreparably damaged your face with that sick rear end left hook," but now im strangely turned on like a little physical violence was all I needed to get my kink on.

so yep, incest + violence does it for me, but incest alone is pure poo poo -- how do I deprogram myself and stop this type of behavior either in my mind or from my aunt's perspective?

Now I don't want to hear any of that "This is faaaaaaaaaaaake" poo poo. I 100% believe that a 17 year old wrote this.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
I mean it is a threat, it’s just the normal, legal kind of threat instead of “pay me or I hit you myself, no middleman”

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




MarcusSA posted:

They ain’t wrong though. Helping with the small claims court paper work is fine.

Sending fake legalese demand letters is lol and dumb.

OP posted:

I started with helping my friend write a demand letter...

OP didn't send the letters, she helped her friend write them. Read the whole post.

Agents are GO!
Dec 29, 2004

mllaneza posted:

OP didn't send the letters, she helped her friend write them. Read the whole post.

Hey listen pal this is the r/relationships thread and we absolutely do not tolerate that kind if talk here. Going off half-cocked after reading three random sentences in two separate posts is our God-given right.

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...
Can’t get along with my BFs parents

quote:

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 4.5 years - going on 5.

He’s not perfect and he’s made mistakes. That being said - he’s never been arrested, gotten in trouble with the law as an adult, or betrayed his parents trust.

I HATE HIS PARENTS, and let me tell you why:

THEY ARE THE MOST BORING loving PEOPLE IVE EVER MET. - they talk about nothing. They love Disneyland (ew) and marvel movies (ex times 2) and they are the most close minded people I’ve met (they told me they wanted to send my boyfriend to rehab for weed.......)

My boyfriend is a talented musician in a local band that’s been around for 7+ years. They have 2 records, many awards, and they are huge in our local scene (Boise - Treasure Valley - half a million people) - HIS PARENTS HAVE COME TO ONE SHOW EVER!!! My parents have been to 25-30 shows over the years. My parents are so supportive of his art. I can’t gently caress with a mom and dad who isn’t 100% about their kid pursuing what makes them happy. (He plays trombone and he is so talented!)

They don’t financially support him in anyway and have the means to. Disclaimer: my parents are extremely wealthy and paid for my local college education (about $30k). I paid for one year - I flunked out my second freshman semester and they made me pay for a year (student loans of course) and then after I succeed and proved I could do school again for a year they funded my education again. My boyfriends parents instead required he live on campus for school (15k a semester), when WE LIVE IN THE loving CITY, and he used his entire school funds they saved in one year. He’s 24 and still in school because they have refused to pay since then. They are well off and have no other children in higher education AND COULD PAY. Instead they spend their discretionary income on family vacations without him (only bring the 12 year old daughter)...... He is struggling to pay for school - one class at a time. He will be in school until he is 30 due to the fact that they required him to live on campus his first year and now has no school fund (because his mom had a great experience living on campus)......

I’m 25 COMPLETELY FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT FROM MY PARENTS - bought my own house at 24 - have a significant savings - and I’m the breadwinner in my relationship. I have no debt besides the $6k I’m almost done paying off in student loans and I work in the finance industry. We are on completely different pages and I’m ENRAGED that his parents won’t help him.

Am I off my rocker? Should I try harder since I love this man? Or is it crazy to consider marrying someone when their family and finances are poo poo?

Sincerely, A very confused girl

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

Lucrece posted:

me (17M) hosed up by getting into a fight with my (32F) aunt


Now I don't want to hear any of that "This is faaaaaaaaaaaake" poo poo. I 100% believe that a 17 year old wrote this.

:aaaaa:

SirSamVimes
Jul 21, 2008

~* Challenge *~


MarcusSA posted:

They ain’t wrong though. Helping with the small claims court paper work is fine.

Sending fake legalese demand letters is lol and dumb.

What is "fake" about letters saying "please pay me the money you owe me or I will take you to small claims court" when she intends on taking the person to small claims court if they do not pay the money they owe her?

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

Lucrece posted:

Can’t get along with my BFs parents

What a bunch of losers, enjoying popular things and going on vacation popular for 12 year olds with their 12 year old.

Cobalt-60
Oct 11, 2016

by Azathoth
If your daughter is literally fleeing the country (all the way to France) to escape living in your house, that should be a sign of how bad things really are.

Then again, if that guy was a (ex) cop, I'm not surprised.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

AITA for telling my niece she sounds like a cartoon character when she speaks Japanese?

quote:

My niece (16F) is super into Japanese anime. Has a little group of friends that are all super into it. Draws characters and all that jazz. I watch anime too and speak Japanese conversationally fluent but no means can pass as a native speaker.

Anywho here's where the AITA part comes in. She knows I speak Japanese and has been practicing with me and it's been great. But she does this thing where she will say super common phrases from anime with these really cartoony inflections that no one really uses in real life. If you've watched anime you know what I'm talking about.

I was like "hey you know that Japanese girls don't actually sound like that when they speak right"? She didn't get what I meant so I pulled up videos of girls on YouTube speaking conversational Japanese in regular voices.

I was like "see this is what real Japanese conversation sounds like. If you ever go to Japan and speak like this to a Japanese person they will give you a funny look"

Then to further explain my point I pulled up some clips from some American cartoons like fairly odd parents where female characters were speaking in cartoony voices and said that this is what she sounds to a Japanese native speaker.

She seemed to get really bummed out and has been down during our lessons. I think it made her sad to be told that Japan isn't like Anime. I told my girlfriend about this and she said that I shouldnt have compared her to cartoon characters. But that's literally what she is emulating. Was I am rear end in a top hat here?

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my niece she sounds like a cartoon character when she speaks Japanese?

Gonna go with NTA.

He didn’t berate her for it or anything and he showed her clear examples of what she was doing / should be doing.

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my niece she sounds like a cartoon character when she speaks Japanese?

Wasted opportunity not taking a trip with her. My family on the other hand told my very gringo Dad that “embarazada” meant what an English speaker thinks it would so that when we went to Mexico we could soak in the baffled/alarmed looks and dios mios when he kept telling people my youngest (14) sister was too pregnant to use her Spanish.

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my niece she sounds like a cartoon character when she speaks Japanese?

NTA. I watched my stepfather hit some poor dude at a Pemex in Mexico with his perfect school boy Spanish and get a response of "What the gently caress did you just say?". How you speak is important anywhere you go and any language you speak in any nation on Earth.

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

Yeah. Better to learn that early

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy
I think he could have stopped before playing English cartoons and saying "that's what you sound like." Surely she got the point when he said that people in Japan don't actually talk like anime and showed her examples.

But it is better to learn that than not, absolutely.

Sloth Life
Nov 15, 2014

Built for comfort and speed!
Fallen Rib

SirSamVimes posted:

What is "fake" about letters saying "please pay me the money you owe me or I will take you to small claims court" when she intends on taking the person to small claims court if they do not pay the money they owe her?

A letter before action is standard protocol for a court claim in the UK. You basically have to send one before you try to sue. There are templates and stuff available

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/legal-system/taking-legal-action/small-claims/making-a-small-claim/

life is a joke
Mar 7, 2016
My lawyer in CA just sent one on my behalf, it was some kind of letter of intent. The way he worded it in the emails made it sound like it was standard procedure for this sort of thing. Basically it tells them pay up or waste a bunch of time in court over whatever relatively small amount of money. In my case it worked, it was for like half a month of rent that they owed and even if they were right (they weren't) I don't think it's worth bothering their lawyers about and going to the court and all that.

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


life is a joke posted:

My lawyer in CA just sent one on my behalf, it was some kind of letter of intent. The way he worded it in the emails made it sound like it was standard procedure for this sort of thing. Basically it tells them pay up or waste a bunch of time in court over whatever relatively small amount of money. In my case it worked, it was for like half a month of rent that they owed and even if they were right (they weren't) I don't think it's worth bothering their lawyers about and going to the court and all that.

Landlords rot in hell

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

Ziv Zulander posted:

Landlords rot in hell

Woah! What's with this sudden disdain for landlords???

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


Ziv Zulander posted:

Landlords rot in hell

in this of all decades, that is more possible than ever

An Actual Princess
Dec 23, 2006

pay half a month of rent or we'll sue you. gently caress landlords.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
Congratulation to your inheritance!

My stepfather (60) with a compromised immune system is going back to work amid the virus currently. He’s a hardcore MAGA person and thinks this is all just a hoax and nonsense
As said above my stepfather is a diabetic with a compromised immune system who is going back to work Monday. He thinks the virus is a bunch of BS and doesn’t expect to get it, even after the local government predicts 75% of my local population to get it. Me and my mother are preparing for quarantine as she could very easily get the virus. How do we convince him this is more serious than he actually thinks it is ??? (Note: he only believes in what Fox News/trump says and that’s it)

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

I [29 F] love my boyfriend [34 M]... but there is an extreme cleanliness problem

quote:

TL;DR: My boyfriend doesn't wipe enough "back there" to an extreme degree and it has affected our love life. I am worried that my disgust will doom our intimacy and also the relationship, and this situation is making me very depressed. I love him so much and feel so shallow for having this be the reason the relationship fails.

I am keeping this as a throwaway account for obvious reasons. Also English isn't my first language so I will try to be as clear as possible. Warning, this is a bit of a long story but I want to be clear what I'm dealing with.

My boyfriend and I met online a few years ago on a dating app. He is the most respectful and caring person I have ever dated. This is also the longest and most "serious" relationship that I have ever had. He cares for me so much, and I adore him too. He is so loving and gentle, respects and supports me in my career, and is all around just the most wonderful person that I have ever met. He surprises me every day with little things he does to show his love for me. I feel so lucky to have him in my life, grow with him, and support him. I can honestly say that in the first few years of dating him were the happiest in my life. I also thought he was super super sexy when I first met him and in the first year, but since then we are having intimacy problems.

Now, the problem (WARNING if you're easily disgusted, NSFW): over the past years, I've noticed a super embarrassing and gross issue: he has a smell that has become quite noticeable that comes from his backside, and it has affected our love life, which also makes me feel incredibly upset and shallow.

We took intimacy very slowly in the first year, so other than kissing and cuddling I had never noticed anything anormal. However, as our intimacy progressed, I started to notice the smell of human feacal matter whenever we were naked together. At first I thought it was just a temporary issue, but over time it has gotten worse. I started noticing "streaks" on my bedsheets (Gross!) and I noticed he doesn't really "clean" down there when in the shower. I am by no means a neat freak, but I like to keep my body tidy and clean. I had never experienced anything like this before, and finally mentioned something. I was so embarrassed to tell him but after I brought it up he became incredibly sad and defensive to the point where I changed the subject. Since then, I have asked him to go to the doctor for the last two years, but he says that he never has time (which is not true, he works hard but also games A LOT so he definitely would have enough time to go the doctor). I keep reminding him to wipe more than once but he keeps saying he forgets to wipe sometimes. I don't want to be the gf that is constantly nagging her bf, so I admit I have relented a bit in the last few months.

Now, for the worst part: I am no longer attracted to him because of this issue, but we still regularly have sex. I love him and want him to be happy and feel loved, but this is beginning to be too much, especially after something that happened recently. [WARNING THE FOLLOWING IS VERY TMI]:

I was giving him a blowjob, when suddenly the "smell" hit me very strongly. I immediately recoiled, and realized that while he was sweating all the dried up [I really feel nauseous even writing this but I want to give the full scale of the problem] feacal matter had become "soggy" and started to smell again. There was so much of it that it left a very large clump on the towel I had put down on our chair in preparation for such things. This isn't the first time this has happened, but it is by far the worst. It is almost as if he didn't even wipe after using the restroom, which to me is extremely anormal and disgusting. I was so upset I started crying and left to my relative's house to process what had happened.

I stayed at my relative's for two days. I was still in shock. He was texting me non-stop, saying that he is sorry and he will change. I kept saying that this situation is so gross and I'm not sure if I can do this anymore: always cleaning the sheets, his underwear, even risking my health, or if I can ever feel attraction to him again. It was beginning to feel like my entire living space was permeated with his feacal smells and stains. On the other hand, I was crying for days. I love him, and want him to be safe and loved and happy. He is financially dependent on me (I make much more money in my work), and he would have to move out if we broke up. I feel so bad that I cannot overlook this, but being clean is very important to me and this issue is so extreme. I also feel so shallow for having this be the reason for ending what has up until now been the most perfect relationship and love. In the past he has told me that I'm overreacting, but to me this is important. Sometimes I feel like I am hurting him needlessly over such a stupid situation. I always thought I was the kind of person that could fall in love with a person's soul and not their body but this had made me realize I am more shallow on this issue than I thought.

I finally came back to him, and he was so happy. I felt joy to see him again but also the revulsion has remained, and for now I cannot be intimate again even if he tells me he has wiped. He has started to notice that I am withdrawing from him. To be honest, I simply associate him and his body with the smell of feaces. I feel like the absolute disgust of the situation has clouded my judgement. I cannot even begin to tell my relatives and friends, so I need some perspectives on what steps I can take to really have him clean better and make him less lazy about this issue, and give some sort of ultimatum or at least reach a compromise.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
Boomer energy spike detected

AITA for telling my Dad it was “not his place” to tell me that I should go into work?
Not the A-hole
Pretty short story I guess. I was talking to my Dad. I decided to work from home (which my boss was OK with) for a lot of reasons. My Dad said, “what, you’re working from home again today?” After the first day. I said yes. He said, “and your boss is still coming in?” I said yes. He said, “That’s absolutely ridiculous, you need to go in next week...If the boss is in you’ll be in.” I guess I was frustrated about this because he acts like he knows everything about my boss and my workplace environment without knowing anything about it. I said, “I’m an adult. It’s not your place to tell me when I should or shouldn’t go into work.” He was furious and said this was an extremely rude thing to say, and blocked me.

Was it really that rude? The reaction was really strong.

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

Hm... this is kind of why I've stopped calling mom recently. Yeah gently caress that noise

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007

Lucrece posted:

Can’t get along with my BFs parents

World famous not just in Boise, but in the entire Boise metro area.

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

World famous not just in Boise, but in the entire Boise metro area.

Not only that, he plays trombone

avoid doorways
Jun 6, 2010

'twas brillig
Gun Saliva
AITA for telling my dad he's not *cool*

quote:

I'm 17 and my dad always sends me memes that aren't funny or he clearly doesn't know what they mean. His favorite one is Kermit drinking tea. It was not funny through first ten times. He still thinks I play Minecraft too. I think he's trying to be the cool dad but it's just corny and lame.

Edit - imma g in my hood and the can't have that poo poo on my IG or phone. Unless he buying me sym new J's then he can beat it

Barudak
May 7, 2007

In the Boise Trombone story, whose 12 year old daughter are his parents taking on trips if her boyfriend is their only child?

avoid doorways
Jun 6, 2010

'twas brillig
Gun Saliva

Barudak posted:

In the Boise Trombone story, whose 12 year old daughter are his parents taking on trips if her boyfriend is their only child?

"They are well off and have no other children in higher education"

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

Licarn posted:

"They are well off and have no other children in higher education"

Well yeah, it says their anti weed in the OP

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Licarn posted:

AITA for telling my dad he's not *cool*

I’m like 80% sure I understand what he is saying in his edit.

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Barudak
May 7, 2007

Licarn posted:

"They are well off and have no other children in higher education"

Oooooh. I was reading that as they have no other children at all, because why else would she get bent out of shape but, you know, rest of post I guess.

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