PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Kirk Johnson's didgeridoo-like farts

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Kirk Johnson's didgeridoo-like farts

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Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

Captain Hygiene posted:

por que no los dos

# ? Sep 5, 2020 04:08

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:06

Ornamental Dingbat: Feb 26, 2007

Context? Naaah.

Sagebrush posted:

nintendo's official statement is that luigi is uncircumcized

# ? Sep 5, 2020 04:08

aardwolf: Apr 27, 2013

On rice cookers:

poo poo POST MALONE posted:

Mine is a Zojirushi and it plays a little song at the beginning and end of cooking time.

Its gigantic and was a wedding gift. I don't think I'd have bought it for myself but I love that little diddy.

Stringent posted:

It's a crime against humanity that the American models don't play a clip of someone singing "Rice, Rice Baby"

Subjunctive posted:

Because it would be too easy to confuse with the song the pressure cooker plays.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 04:13

Manky Tungeon: Jun 11, 2018

anyone have a screencap of that post where a guy posts a picture of a really gross and hosed up looking pizza and says "this is what a pizza should look like, it looks like a mess but its delicious". I've been thinking about that post a lot lately

# ? Sep 5, 2020 04:14

John Lee: Mar 2, 2013; A time traveling adventure everyone can enjoy

madeintaipei posted:

Coffee in the morning, sweet iced-tea in the afternoon.

Iced tea does not count for this paradigm, and I can't believe I had to state something so obvious.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 07:56

Zetsubou-san: Jan 28, 2015; Cruel Bifaunidas demanded that you [stand]🧍 I require only that you [kneel]🧎

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I went up to Darwin after high school during the hottest part of the year and I don't think I ever adjusted back.

that sounds loving miserable and I live in Alice Springs

Inceltown posted:

lmao, white Australia doesn't have culture. The only real difference between Melbourne and Darwin is that in Darwin the drinks come in smaller glasses so your beer doesn't warm up too much before you finish it.

Counterpoint: The 'darwin stubbie' was a 2 litre beer bottle.

Zetsubou-san has a new favorite as of 08:24 on Sep 5, 2020

# ? Sep 5, 2020 08:20

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Zetsubou-san posted:

Counterpoint: The 'darwin stubbie' was a 2 litre beer bottle.

Have you seen the size of a tinny in Melbourne though?

# ? Sep 5, 2020 08:32

Zetsubou-san: Jan 28, 2015; Cruel Bifaunidas demanded that you [stand]🧍 I require only that you [kneel]🧎

lame, not even a can of VB

# ? Sep 5, 2020 08:45

Syd Midnight: Sep 23, 2005

Karia posted:

Holy poo poo GPT-3 did that? Did you do any editing? That's seriously incredible, you should throw that in the PYF Procgen thread.

I didn't write it, but I rearranged some paragraphs as it was writing it, and deleted some others. GPT-3 is a zillion times better than GPT-2, it's scary good. AI Dungeon is worth :10bux:

just to bypass the game aspect and play with it freestyle. So now I'm on a mission to throw a bunch of classic SA quotes into it.

The problem with gpt-3 riffing on Triticum Guzzler's "goon proposal/reality", it turns out, is that several of these actually happened, and the rest are utterly indistinguishable from regular SA drama:

quote:

proposal: a thread about how to get rid of fleas
reality: a man goes around telling everyone they should just throw their bed sheets over themselves and let the fleas eat them off. this is followed by a woman who has been living under her mother's couch for years screaming "I'm allergic! I'm allergic!" before jumping up and running away crying.

proposal: a thread about how to use your computer keyboard
reality: a girl uses her mouse cursor to click the options and causes a chain of events that ultimately causes the entire forum to crash and burn as a result of her cursor being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

proposal: a girl suggests that people should just put their hands behind their back and enjoy herself
reality: a girl puts her hand into a deep fat frier. she is rushed to hospital where she is given skin grafts on all four limbs. she wears gloves for the rest of her life. she never learns.

proposal: a girl asks for someone to send her $20 through paypal. she keeps it all.
reality: someone who was going to support her college education instead gets a hand job from some whore he found online and both of them get HIV.

proposal: a guy asks if anyone wants to come over and help him fix his oven.
reality: no one wants to help out a pedophile.

proposal: someone says they could go for some cheetos
reality: a fat kid goes into a cheetos binge and doesn't come out of his room for 5 days.

proposal: a girl asks if anyone else has an irrational fear of baby carrots
reality: she is attacked by hundreds of people for her stupid question, many of whom claim they're going to report her to the Monsanto corporation. She's grounded for two weeks.

proposal: a thread about how well your birthday party was
reality: the boy whose party it was ends up in a coma when his parents put a chloroform-soaked rag over his mouth as a "surprise" for his birthday.

proposal: someone asks for a ride to the airport
reality: people hold up signs calling her a whore.

proposal: some guy says he's been looking for a copy of the movie mulholland dr. for months
reality: he kills himself because he sees the movie and it sucks.

proposal: someone asks if anyone wants to go in on a 30 rack of Miller High Life
reality: he is stabbed by one of the people he asked to help buy it.

proposal: someone asks if anyone has seen the movie "Old Yeller"
reality: a group of people beat the guy to death and strap his body to a rocket which is launched into space.

proposal: a girl says she's been feeling sick lately
reality: she finds out she's pregnant, has a miscarriage, begins drinking again, contracts hepatitis c from a dirty needle, develops liver cancer and dies.

proposal: Someone says that they're going to New York in a week and are looking for someone to come along.
reality: They get in a bus crash, have their face torn off by an angry mob and wake up blind, deaf and without a jaw.

proposal: someone says they are addicted to yahoo pipes
reality: he is arrested for child pornography after his girlfriend finds over 3,000 indecent photos of underage kids that he had downloaded.

proposal: someone says they just took an online quiz that said they were a hipster
reality: they are kidnapped by real hipsters and are never seen again.

proposal: someone says they're getting really into watching professional wrestling again
reality: their old teacher sees their post, recognizes the writing style of the person they had a crush on in 6th grade, and calls their parents.

proposal: someone says their kid is throwing a tantrum
reality: their house is burned down by angry socialists.

proposal: someone says they just got back from vacation in mexico
reality: they are struck dead by diarrhea while on the shitter reading a newspaper.

proposal: someone says they just got back from vacation in mexico
reality: their house is burned down by angry socialists.

proposal: someone says they are going to start playing world of warcraft again
reality: they wake up with missing credit cards and find that the serial numbers have been used to buy millions of gold coins, which in turn were sold for bitcoin, which was then used to by drugs which were then sold for cash to buy a new laptop, stolen from you, which was then taken back to the store for a refund while you were being arrested for dealing cocaine.

those are all straight gpt-3

# ? Sep 5, 2020 09:03

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Lobok posted:

I'm the extremely rare person who likes tea and coffee and oldpainless.

About one in five people like both tea and coffee, though.

Also those GPT-3 goon proposals are insane.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 09:06

some plague rats: Jun 5, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Syd Midnight posted:

I didn't write it, but I rearranged some paragraphs as it was writing it, and deleted some others. GPT-3 is a zillion times better than GPT-2, it's scary good. AI Dungeon is worth just to bypass the game aspect and play with it freestyle. So now I'm on a mission to throw a bunch of classic SA quotes into it.

The problem with gpt-3 riffing on Triticum Guzzler's "goon proposal/reality", it turns out, is that several of these actually happened, and the rest are utterly indistinguishable from regular SA drama:

those are all straight gpt-3

So, what, do we have to go through and guess which ones are AI and which ones are real

quote:

proposal: someone asks if anyone wants to go in on a 30 rack of Miller High Life
reality: he is stabbed by one of the people he asked to help buy it.

Because I feel like I remember this happening, although thinking about it maybe not on SA, just like in my life

some plague rats has a new favorite as of 09:40 on Sep 5, 2020

# ? Sep 5, 2020 09:37

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

quote:

proposal: a thread about how to use your computer keyboard
reality: a girl uses her mouse cursor to click the options and causes a chain of events that ultimately causes the entire forum to crash and burn as a result of her cursor being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If you told me this actually happened with Radium's dodgy coding, I would believe it.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 09:43

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Syd Midnight posted:

I didn't write it, but I rearranged some paragraphs as it was writing it, and deleted some others. GPT-3 is a zillion times better than GPT-2, it's scary good. AI Dungeon is worth just to bypass the game aspect and play with it freestyle. So now I'm on a mission to throw a bunch of classic SA quotes into it.

The problem with gpt-3 riffing on Triticum Guzzler's "goon proposal/reality", it turns out, is that several of these actually happened, and the rest are utterly indistinguishable from regular SA drama:

those are all straight gpt-3

You can tell the bot was phoning it in at the end though

quote:

proposal: someone says their kid is throwing a tantrum
reality: their house is burned down by angry socialists.

....

proposal: someone says they just got back from vacation in mexico
reality: their house is burned down by angry socialists.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 09:47

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Inceltown posted:

You can tell the bot was phoning it in at the end though

I thought that was the joke

# ? Sep 5, 2020 10:06

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

I like coffee, I like tea, I feel generally neutral about the boys except at certain points in my cycle, and the boys are confused by me. That's how the song goes, right?

Shark PM fighting Ned Kelly in the Dreamtime forever, yo

# ? Sep 5, 2020 11:37

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Neddy Seagoon posted:

If you told me this actually happened with Radium's dodgy coding, I would believe it.

Until recently it was possible. There was a Global Forum Nuke button that would have ~~sensibly disposed of the evidence~~ deleted every post in every forum. Admins disabled it earlier this year.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 12:09

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

I think that would only have deleted every post in one forum.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 12:11

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Yeah Lowtax was mashing the delete FYAD forever button, but Jeffery had disabled it a couple of months before on principle.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 13:40

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Syd Midnight posted:

I didn't write it, but I rearranged some paragraphs as it was writing it, and deleted some others. GPT-3 is a zillion times better than GPT-2, it's scary good. AI Dungeon is worth just to bypass the game aspect and play with it freestyle. So now I'm on a mission to throw a bunch of classic SA quotes into it.

The problem with gpt-3 riffing on Triticum Guzzler's "goon proposal/reality", it turns out, is that several of these actually happened, and the rest are utterly indistinguishable from regular SA drama:

those are all straight gpt-3

God you�re right you could slip some of those in the original quote and nobody who hadn�t already memorized it would be none the wiser. Monkeys with typewriters.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 14:26

Winifred Madgers: Feb 12, 2002

GPT-3 posted:

proposal: someone says they are going to start playing world of warcraft again
reality: they wake up with missing credit cards and find that the serial numbers have been used to buy millions of gold coins, which in turn were sold for bitcoin, which was then used to by drugs which were then sold for cash to buy a new laptop, stolen from you, which was then taken back to the store for a refund while you were being arrested for dealing cocaine.

I was already lol-ing by the time it got to someone killing themselves over Mulholland Dr. being a bad movie, but this definitely is the capstone, and also seems like one of the most likely to occur irl

# ? Sep 5, 2020 17:31

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

aardwolf posted:

On rice cookers:

Holy poo poo that's an involved and extremely good joke.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 17:35

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

I have chosen to believe that those all happened because no software can be that accurate

# ? Sep 5, 2020 17:43

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

quote:

proposal: a guy asks if anyone wants to come over and help him fix his oven.
reality: no one wants to help out a pedophile.

Here lies Aatrek, he never seared.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 18:15

Matlack Radio: Jun 2, 2006

dun hosed up

Matlack Radio has a new favorite as of 10:23 on Feb 19, 2021

# ? Sep 5, 2020 18:25

DigitalRaven: Oct 9, 2012

aardwolf posted:

On rice cookers:

This is amazing.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 18:34

Snowy: Oct 6, 2010; A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth;
One who never feels
The wanton stings and
Motions of the sense

Which tea is best for steeping in a cup of black coffee?

# ? Sep 5, 2020 18:50

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Tea made from the dried, roasted, ground up berry of the coffee plant.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 18:52

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Syd Midnight posted:

I didn't write it, but I rearranged some paragraphs as it was writing it, and deleted some others. GPT-3 is a zillion times better than GPT-2, it's scary good. AI Dungeon is worth just to bypass the game aspect and play with it freestyle. So now I'm on a mission to throw a bunch of classic SA quotes into it.

The problem with gpt-3 riffing on Triticum Guzzler's "goon proposal/reality", it turns out, is that several of these actually happened, and the rest are utterly indistinguishable from regular SA drama:

those are all straight gpt-3

Wow. I laughed out loud four separate times while reading those. When gpt-4 comes out, I am going to use it to populate an entire forum of my own, and I won�t need you people any more.

What�s the winnowing rate? Did you discard 5:1, 4:1, 1:1?

# ? Sep 5, 2020 19:12

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Snowy posted:

Which tea is best for steeping in a cup of black coffee?

Tea Tip! :siren:

: Darjeeling tea will pair well steeped in coffees because of it's citrus and earthy flavor notes.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 19:17

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

It's almost spiced pumpkin darjeeling tea season.

Mmmmmmm

# ? Sep 5, 2020 19:25

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

aardwolf posted:

On rice cookers:

God drat

# ? Sep 5, 2020 19:46

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

aardwolf posted:

On rice cookers:

I don't get this one.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 19:55

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Rice cookers aren't the same thing as pressure cookers, there's that extra ding, it's technically different.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 20:02

Detective Thompson: Nov 9, 2007; Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.

That's such a Vanilla response.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 20:08

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Yas Queen!

# ? Sep 5, 2020 20:14

Hihohe: Oct 4, 2008; Fuck you and the sun you live under

I like neither coffee or tea and i am a lonely person

No sugar tonight in my coffee, no sugar tonight in my tea. No sugar to stand beside me, no sugar to run with me.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 20:18

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Jedit posted:

I don't get this one.

Rice rice baby is a pun on Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby which uses the bassline from Queen's Under Pressure (hence the pressure cooker)

# ? Sep 5, 2020 21:16

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

i appreciate the technical artistry at work in that joke even if i am not its intended audience

# ? Sep 5, 2020 21:24

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

christmas boots posted:

Rice rice baby is a pun on Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby which uses the bassline from Queen's Under Pressure (hence the pressure cooker)

Of course it does. Thanks, I hadn't thought of that in years.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 21:34

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:06

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Baron von Eevl posted:

Tea made from the dried, roasted, ground up berry of the coffee plant.

Technically that is an infusion, or tisane.

And on the other current topic, my wife put this vinyl decal on our Instant Pot:

https://amazon.com/David-Freddie-Mercury-Pressure-Instant/dp/B07P4LQQ7F

Lemniscate Blue has a new favorite as of 22:15 on Sep 5, 2020

# ? Sep 5, 2020 22:12

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Kirk Johnson's didgeridoo-like farts

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