Sisal Two-Step posted:

I disagree and here's why,

spouse posted:

If you're trying to make a prescriptive claim, you really should be able to argue any position from a non-emotional perspective, using data to trace a logical path to substantiate your claim.

GlyphGryph posted:

I have found the sort of people who demand this sort of thing are generally incapable of following it anyway, in addition to starting, themselves, with all sorts of emotional priors and prejudices they straight up refuse to acknowledge because it might reveal their motivated reasoning.

Also, they usually use the "logic required" thing to dismiss not just emotions but *any* sort of initial value judgement held by the other person which is... prescriptive claims can only exist within a value defined context. You can't do logic without a starting point.

I frequently get frustrated with people's inability to understand, articulate, ot lay out the logic behind their arguments, but "logician" bros are always, without exception, worse on all those fronts than a normal person.

GlyphGryph posted:

Also, they usually use the "logic required" thing to dismiss not just emotions but *any* sort of initial value judgement held by the other person which is... prescriptive claims can only exist within a value defined context. You can't do logic without a starting point.

I frequently get frustrated with people's inability to understand, articulate, ot lay out the logic behind their arguments, but "logician" bros are always, without exception, worse on all those fronts than a normal person.

Kenshin posted:

Logic and emotions are not opposites, but in fact cannot exist without each other.

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

My computer has emotions?

Logic and emotions are perfectly separable, it's just that they each have severe limitations when used independently of each other. Also, when talking about the complex world we live in we can never have all the facts required for whatever pure logic debatebeings think is possible to reach meaningful conclusions, not to mention that how others feel is also a fact that would have to be taken into account. On the flip side the "I feel it in my gut and you'll never convince me otherwise" people are just as bad. Their opinions are more easily dismissed since they're more transparent, but their level of self absorption is not much different.

Kenshin posted:

a sort of preference for one result or another must be present for decisions to occur, and preferences do rely on our emotions.

Tetramin posted:

I gently caress my computer and cum in it

quote:

My dad has personally picked all of my siblings’ spouses. When I was 20, I had a boyfriend who I believed was the love of my life, I wanted to marry him but my dad didn’t approve. He didn’t like his family, didn’t like his career aspirations and didn’t think he was “man enough”. He ended up driving him away. After that, I vowed to myself that I would never marry the man my dad picked for me.

When I met my current husband, my dad hated him at first which just made me like him more. We’ve been married for close to 2 years and our relationship is really good. My dad did a complete 180 after we got engaged and he started treating my husband really well. I assumed it was because he realised that no matter what he said or did, I would marry him.

I’m currently staying with my older sister and she said something that makes me suspect that they both ran a long con on me and everyone but me knew. I was telling her how I was surprised by the fact that my dad really liked my husband and she said “You’re not that stupid right? Dad wanted you to marry him from the start.” I told her she was wrong and that my dad didn’t even know my husband until I introduced them, and she gave me a look like I was really dumb. I tried to ask her for more information, but she told me to just forget it.

I get this isn’t much to go on but I just have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach right now. I have a good marriage, I’m genuinely happy but I also feel extremely angry now.

I go home in two days and I want to confront them both but I don’t know what to say. I also don’t want to cause issues in case it isn’t true and I’m misunderstanding. What do I say?

TL;DR – My dad has picked all of the spouses of my siblings. I made it clear I wouldn’t marry someone he picked for me. However, my sister said something that makes me suspect that they may have conned me. She told me my dad wanted me to marry my husband from the start and looked at me like I was stupid when I said she was wrong

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

I (28F) think my dad (62M) and husband (29M) conned me into marrying him.

Midnight Voyager posted:

Land makes people lose their loving minds. In this case, "give me 1/5 the inheritance" is the exact wrong solution because you cannot sell it at 1/5 size. You need to sell it and then split the proceeds. For some reason, insane heirs cannot be talked into doing this, at least in my experience. Even if the kids don't hate each other, you just can't get them to understand that it would be vastly easier to sell the normal-sized parcel of land and split the money vs splitting it into unusable bits that nobody wants.

It's divisible easily if you take a single step. They won't because MAH LAND

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

There must be something more, because their birthdays are in different months. Wouldn't it be easier to guilt the older sister into babysitting by giving her her own party on her own day, and then saying "well, today is your sister's day so you have to xxxx" rather than making the day be supposedly about both?

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

There must be something more, because their birthdays are in different months. Wouldn't it be easier to guilt the older sister into babysitting by giving her her own party on her own day, and then saying "well, today is your sister's day so you have to xxxx" rather than making the day be supposedly about both?

welcome to hell posted:

quote:

My boyfriend John is extremely difficult to buy presents for. He came from an affluent family and has a great job, and buys everything he wants whenever he wants it. I am lower income. I lost my job a few months ago and had to take on other one, which pays less, and I am struggling to pay my part of the rent and pay off my student loans. It is difficult for him to understand this most of the time.

I love to paint. My boyfriend has said my paintings are very good and that he likes them a lot. Since my income is so low, I decided to paint my boyfriend a painting for his birthday (Saturday). I researched this for months beforehand. I decided to paint a scene from his favorite game, Bioshock, with him as a Big Daddy character. I know it sounds cheesey but I honestly thought he would like it because he always said I was talented and he loves this game. I poured a ton of work into it. A week before his birthday, he had been hinting heavily at wanting a new iPhone.

When I presented him with the painting, he asked me if this was his present and if I got him something else. I told him this was his present and that I’d worked on it for months special for him. He got upset and told me a bunch of awful things, saying that it’s a “cheap and lazy gift” and that I was cheap in general. I was trying to diffuse the situation and I told him that I was sorry he didn’t like it but I wasn’t able to get him iPhone he wanted. He took the painting and he didn’t tear it, but he sort of bent and crinkled it, completely ruining the paint. He told me that I obviously didn’t care about what he wanted and that I was bad at budgeting and all of this ranting.

It came out that he resented paying for groceries and utilities even though he’d agreed to this before. I told him that if he wanted to discuss that we could but this wasn’t a good reaction. He told me that I was just after him for money and that he didn’t want a “lovely painting” when he could apparently be in a committed relationship with another girl at his workplace who makes more money. Then he told me “but I love you” as though it was an excuse for what he said. Then he said that this girl had brought him a red velvet cake for his birthday which is his favorite cake, which I didn’t care about. I told him that I baked him a chocolate cake earlier in the week with cream cheese frosting and that is basically red velvet cake. He switched and said that she had gotten it from his favorite bakery, and some random girl knows which bakery he likes over me. I just went to bed. This morning he’s gone and so is the painting. He sent me a text saying he went out to an Easter/birthday brunch with his parents and he’ll be back soon.

I’m not sure if I want to end the relationship, which has a ton of commitment involved. He has never acted like this before about money, and I don’t know what’s up, because he’s not telling me. I think he might be interested in this other girl or at least jealous of how much money she makes compared to me. How am I even supposed to approach this? I am already feeling very hurt about the painting and I’m not sure that’s a good place to start another argument.

tl;dr: I painted my boyfriend a painting as a birthday present, and he ruined it because he wanted something more expensive. He resents the fact that I don’t make as much money as him and is talking about another girl. I’m not sure if I should end the relationship now.

quote:

Throwaway Account

I (49) have two stepchildren "Leo" (19m) and "Adam" (17m). I entered their lives when they were 7 and 5 and despite my efforts they never warmed up to me. I wasn't trying to be their "mom" but just another loving parental figure. They told their dad how much they didn't like me when told them that we were engaged and told my husband that they didn't want him to get married.

Their dad reassured them that they would always be a big part of his life and asked them to give me a chance. We even went to their mother for help but she refused. They refused to come to the wedding and wouldn't spend the holidays with their dad if I was there. I was hurt over it for a very long time but eventually grew to accept that this is how things were going to be and just tried to focus on my own children. Although my husband always held out hope that one day we could all be one big happy blended family.

Tragically my husband passed away in an accident. It was hard and after the funeral Leo and Adam never reached out to us again. They barely acknowledged their half-siblings (9m and 9f) at family events with my husband's side of the family and I was sad for them. Fast forward to now and my niece, SIL's daughter, is going to college and I agreed to give her $30,000 after sophomore year. My husband loved his sister and niece so I was more than happy to do it.

Word got back to Leo and Adam and they learned that their father had a huge life insurance policy that I was the sole beneficiary of plus my side business is now turning over a sizable profit. They reached out to me angry that I was hoarding their father's money and threatening to sue if I didn't tell them how much I got and get half. I was upset but calmly explained to them that 1) Life insurance isn't the same as an inheritance so they had no legal claim to it 2) When I initially received the pay out I gave some to their mom to hold on to them until they were of age. They didn't believe me until I sent them proof and apparently their mom used the money to cover living costs and there was nothing left for them.

Since I used some of the insurance money to fund my business MIL is asking me to pay for Leo and Adam to go to school, but I don't want to. They literally haven't spoken to me in years and the first time they do it's to demand money. MIL asked me to think of my own children and how Leo and Adam may take out their resentment towards me on them. If that's the case then I don't care to foster a relationship between them AITA?

Scaevolus posted:

I like how life insurance is an entirely separate system from the estate or normal inheritance proceedings-- it's a contract with a company to pay specific people if you die, and doesn't get tangled in lawsuits.

Scaevolus posted:

I like how life insurance is an entirely separate system from the estate or normal inheritance proceedings-- it's a contract with a company to pay specific people if you die, and doesn't get tangled in lawsuits.

welcome to hell posted:

Minrad posted:

I recently discovered my current gf is one of these people and I dunno how to proceed. If it ever gets to the stage of moving in together I'll probably suggest keeping separate bedrooms so we don't need to sleep together on a night she's working.

quote:

My 2-year-old daughter passed away early last year. It has been hell on my husband and I. We’re slowly putting the pieces of our lives back together but I know it’ll never be the same. Most people in our lives have been great, others say things they think are helpful but honestly aren’t. I try to ignore them for the most part because I know they’re well meaning.

However, my husband has a cousin, A. She told me for months she understood how I was feeling because she lost three children. I had never heard about this and was shocked, as I’ve known her 10 years. She then elaborated and said that she had tried IVF with three embryos a little before I met my husband. None took. She views them as children. While I respect that and do not undermine how hard it is for IVF to fail (we had two failed attempts before I got pregnant with our daughter), I don’t think it’s comparable. She had hopes and dreams, but she was never pregnant. They never existed. I didn’t feel this way with people who compared miscarriages to me losing my daughter because I get it, no matter how far along you are, you can be attached. But this just seemed like a huge stretch.

I tried to let it go, but anytime I’d talk about my daughter or make a post about her, A would talk about her embryos. Not just in a “I know how you feel” but basically direct the entire conversation back to her so she could talk about it.

I started getting annoyed. I told her that she was never pregnant. It’s a loss, of course, but she cannot keep comparing it to my daughter that I carried in my stomach, then cared for 2 years and got to know, love on and then had to watch slowly deteriorate (she was diagnosed with cancer at 11 months). A got upset and said I was “gatekeeping” loss and that I can’t tell her what a loss is. I said I was never trying to undermine her loss but she can’t keep comparing it to mine.

Now a good chunk of my husband’s family is mad at me. AITA?

The Chad Jihad posted:

I like waking up and realizing I can go back to sleep enough that I did it for awhile, but apparently it's not good for you so now I only do it once in a blue moon

Serephina posted:

I'm almost 100% sure that twitter post about alarms is a joke.

Serephina posted:

I'm almost 100% sure that twitter post about alarms is a joke.

teen witch posted:

Snoozing or setting two alarms tops is fine, but alarms every fifteen minutes for hours is loving insane and how are you getting any decent sleep????

Serephina posted:

I'm almost 100% sure that twitter post about alarms is a joke.

Barudak posted:

I assume its a joke but its such a vile one Im still mad

quote:

She has been my sister-in-law for a year and we have never gotten along. She has always been rude and condescending to me. My husband wanted to visit his sister the day (Monday), and I reluctantly agreed. I tried my best to be civil, but she kept picking fights. She eventually started a verbal disagreement about how my husband could have done better than me etc. I tried to keep my cool and ignore her, but she eventually started screaming and my husband had to tell her to calm down and intervene.

I ended up going to bed (their guest room) and my husband and her husband stayed downstairs watching TV while SIL did the dishes. I dozed off and was awoken a while later by someone touching my hair. I sleepily thought it was my husband and rolled around and saw SIL snipping my hair with scissors. I immediately pushed her away and she ran out of the room. I went downstairs and informed my husband and his brother and showed them the cut strand. They both said that SIL "is immature and not let her get on your nerves".

I do not understand how they can be so passive and not think this is a big deal?!?!?! Am I overreacting? This is NOT normal behaviour for someone who is nearly 40 and I am so angry that she cut my hair while I was sleeping. I told my husband that I no longer want to visit her and he told me that I was acting like a drama queen and sinking to her level. What do I do??

TL;DR: Got into argument with SIL, woke up to her cutting my hair. Husband thinks I am being a drama queen.

quote:

My husband passed away 7 years ago in a freak accident. This is the first guy I have seriously dated since.

We were talking about life and death when he asked me if I would leave him if my husband was somehow able to came back. I told him I don't know what I would do because I would be very confused, and he got angry at me and said that I am choosing my late husband over him. Now he won't even talk to me.

Did I say the wrong thing? I don't get why he's so upset about this.

tl;dr my boyfriend is upset about about a hypothetical and completely impossible scenario

Edit: I broke it off with him. I sent him one last message telling him how I felt and that I was willing to work through this if he wanted to, and he just sent me a bunch of rude messages back. So we are done and he's moving out.

quote:

Hi all, sorry if this is long in advance,

So this past Saturday, I was out at the bar with a few coworkers (I work at a hospital and one of my coworkers graduated from nursing school) there were 10 people with us in total, I was the one who planned the event and we were at one of our favorite bars having a good time when at around 2200 I got a text from my girlfriend saying,

"My friend just sent me this lol how funny is that?" Attached is a screenshot of a Snapchat of me sitting at a table of 10 next to a girl with the caption "I know I don't run your life but I'd never let my man be out with other girls"

I told her that was so funny and I was surprised that her friend didn't come say hello because before this we have hung out multiple times and get along really well.

My GF sent me another text about an hour later with another picture of me at a different bar dancing with a group of people that said, "look at him, there are all these girls, I know you trust him but wow" my girlfriend and I both laughed about it because her friend was and still is sleeping with a married man and constantly cheats with people.

A little later I get a text again with another picture of me getting into my DD's car. The DD happens to be a female and she had a full car (8 people in total). I just happened to climb in the front seat. My girlfriend said, "it looks like you habe a stalker hahaha better watch out or she's gonna get you, goodnight babe be safe"

In my drunkness I decided to text her friend and said,

"Friend, I would like to let you know, I am in a happy relationship with my GF and have no desire to change that, even when I am drinking. I have never and will never cheat on someone I am in a relationship with. I think you should take a good look in the mirror and stop projecting the undesirable traits you see in yourself onto others. Sleeping with a married man, living in their house as their nanny, and calling the wife of the man you are sleeping with your best friend is absolutely disgusting. She cried on your shoulder when she thought he was having an affair. You told her not to worry even though you were in fact sleeping with her husband. This puts you in a moral position where you should not and cannot be judging others if they plan on cheating, which again, I will not ever cheat on GF no matter how much you think I will. I hope you had a goodnight following me around instead of coming up and saying hello like a normal decent human being. I don't think we will be able to continue a friendly relationship from this point on, so I sincerely hope you get some professional help and have a decent life."

Monday, my girlfriend called me before I went to work and was livid that I sent the text to her friend, she told me I had no right to be so rude to her even if I was telling the truth. I told her it was for her own good and I in fact, took it easy on her and wasn't as rude as I could have been considering I was drinking and tend to be a lot more vulgar when I drink.

She told me she had to seriously think if our almost 4 year relationship is worth keeping because her friends are her life even though she has stated her disgust with the girl I was talking about because of her involvement with a married man. I told her that was ridiculous and that if I did any harm it was unintentional and is likely her friend realizing the consequences of her actions.

Anyways, what I am asking here is, should I apologize to her friend and try to make amends? I love my girlfriend more than anything, we have been together for almost 4 years and I can see myself with her for the rest of my life, how can I love past this?

TL;DR GF's friend stalked me and sent Snapchats to GF saying she should be with me at all times or I'll cheat. I responded to her by telling her to stop sleeping with married men. GF got mad at that and wants to take a good look at our relationship.

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

4 years ago.
A text I sent to my (M24) GFs friend (F23) might have costed me my relationship because I was "rude"

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

4 years ago.
A text I sent to my (M24) GFs friend (F23) might have costed me my relationship because I was "rude"

Snuff Melange posted:

Can't even find any humor in this, just an ugly situation, yikes.