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Cloks posted:...planning the next five sprints... 
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Apr 19, 2022 17:50
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i love the term sprint because it's such middle management brain "why do those runners rest between sprints? if they just kept sprinting they'd get so much farther in the same time!!!"
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Apr 19, 2022 17:52
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carry on then posted:i love the term sprint because it's such middle management brain it's the same mentality as that old "if you can avoid making a mistake for a minute you can do it for an hour so you should be able to do it for a whole shift" chestnut
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Apr 19, 2022 18:00
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yeah in retrospect i should've started slinging resumes when we couldn't reliably complete the work in a two week sprint so the management solution was to make sprints three weeks
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Apr 19, 2022 18:03
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carry on then posted:i love the term sprint because it's such middle management brain Everything has a "fun" name when you're doing agile.
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Apr 19, 2022 18:10
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Agile is suck rear end make work that creates more work than it saves
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Apr 19, 2022 18:14
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PokeJoe posted:Agile is suck rear end make work that creates more work than it saves but then what will all the middle management do
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Apr 19, 2022 18:25
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like any set of tools, agile “works” (or doesn’t) depending on your organization and the people you work with. does your work move fast enough that a daily standup is productive? if yes then do that, if you have to work on every task 3-5 days before you have a meaningful update or useful questions, maybe just do a weekly sync-up meeting. the emphasis on continually adding features without ripping up and breaking all the other things is useful but also can’t really be done for all features for all projects. maybe use a branch to do changes that will *really* break other stuff so you can take your time to merge it back in slowly instead of breaking all the regressions for several months. use it if it works, if not, do something else.
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Apr 19, 2022 18:27
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graph posted:but then what will all the middle management do without agile they micromanage everything. agile is largely a solution for bad managers cause it creates structure to prevent them from constantly changing work. if you have managers that look at the metrics and still try to gently caress with the work then thats just a bad job and you need to leave. no system will fix that.
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Apr 19, 2022 18:32
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:use it if it works, if not, do something else. see also: leaders still being all "back to the office" after it turned out going remote didn't harm productivity and now people are getting each other sick all over the place
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Apr 19, 2022 18:48
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if they want to micromanage they'll use agile to stick their fingers in every pie every step of the way. the "ritual" meetings just add more opportunity for people uninvolved in the project to wiretap their way into the project and gently caress it up
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Apr 19, 2022 18:48
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it's cargo culting a bunch of 4 hour seminars
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Apr 19, 2022 18:49
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agile can be frustrating, but coming from a waterfall environment it’s much nicer and has way less micromanagement going on
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Apr 19, 2022 18:49
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FAT32 SHAMER posted:agile can be frustrating, but coming from a waterfall environment it’s much nicer and has way less micromanagement going on or, rather, a central tenet schedules and timeboxes the micromanagement. not that it is necessarily followed, but it is one of the thing the process takes into account where e.g. waterfall does not.
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Apr 19, 2022 18:52
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I'm an agile certified "scrum" master too. I did the 4 hour seminar
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Apr 19, 2022 18:59
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PokeJoe posted:I'm an agile certified "scrum" master too. I did the 4 hour seminar Was that the safe agile training?
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Apr 19, 2022 19:03
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agile can be good and its best when everyone just uses it as a jumping off point to just do whatever to make their jobs & workflows & everything else better. I view it mostly as a conversation starter about how to do things better. People get tied up with points and cards and poo poo and forget to ever change things to work better, which is the whole point of agile.
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Apr 19, 2022 19:06
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I think the big problem with the implementation I'm dealing with is that they're using agile to generate metrics, not finished work
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Apr 19, 2022 19:11
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AnimeIsTrash posted:Was that the safe agile training? ya my job paid for it so it was a good excuse to get out of my regular work for a few afternoons.
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Apr 19, 2022 19:15
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PokeJoe posted:I'm an agile certified "scrum" master too. I did the 4 hour seminar i'm gonna scrum
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Apr 19, 2022 19:15
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you could pass the "test" right now probably if you work at an agile place
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Apr 19, 2022 19:15
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they didn't like me referring to standup as the scrum dumpster but I'm the master here
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Apr 19, 2022 19:16
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unjustly fired for refusing to change my team name from the "scrum guzzlers"
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Apr 19, 2022 19:17
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missed opportunity to declare yourself “The Scrumudgeon”
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Apr 19, 2022 19:17
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qirex posted:unjustly fired for refusing to change my team name from the "scrum guzzlers"
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Apr 19, 2022 19:18
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Jenkins pipelayer reporting for duty
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Apr 19, 2022 19:19
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I'm in the office. it sucks rear end and I'm still doing meetings on teams so what's the point i had lunch with some coworkers I guess that was nice but it's nicer not going to the office at least it's just a 10 minute bike ride
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Apr 19, 2022 19:19
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just got an email that they moved our team event indoors due to bad weather [at the beach in san francisco who could have guessed???] so now I'm not going to the zoo
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Apr 19, 2022 19:21
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qirex posted:just got an email that they moved our team event indoors due to bad weather [at the beach in san francisco who could have guessed???] so now I'm not going to the zoo im at the zoo right now, it's fine
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Apr 19, 2022 19:23
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rotor posted:im at the zoo right now, it's fine Like i'm looking at it from my back window, no rain, no ominous clouds. You're gettin rooked bad.
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Apr 19, 2022 19:23
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rotor posted:im at the zoo right now, it's fine
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Apr 19, 2022 19:23
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rotor posted:rooked
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Apr 19, 2022 19:24
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rotor posted:im at the zoo right now, it's fine thursday  also I'm not going solely because the event was moved indoors, I own hella goretex
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Apr 19, 2022 19:27
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Kenny Logins posted:i wish this was more prevalent than the slurry alternatives but in any event ty. i like this idiom a lot irl the cool thing is that you can rook a gull and stay within an entirely bird-based theme
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Apr 19, 2022 19:27
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Cloks posted:yeah in retrospect i should've started slinging resumes when we couldn't reliably complete the work in a two week sprint so the management solution was to make sprints three weeks i was just on a call where the pm was unhappy with the work estimates we gave them saying that it'd have to be completed more quickly. i told them we'd need someone with actual experience with the tech to give anywhere close to an accurate estimate so they actually shouldn't even be depending on our estimates in the first place. they're now reaching to the old standbys we all know and love such as, 'ok how many people do you need' or 'if i can get your other projects deprioritized will it happen faster' etc etc ugh
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Apr 19, 2022 19:52
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:use it if it works, if not, do something else. how will management be able to call themselves agile though??
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Apr 19, 2022 20:00
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PIZZA.BAT posted:i was just on a call where the pm was unhappy with the work estimates we gave them saying that it'd have to be completed more quickly. i told them we'd need someone with actual experience with the tech to give anywhere close to an accurate estimate so they actually shouldn't even be depending on our estimates in the first place. they're now reaching to the old standbys we all know and love such as, 'ok how many people do you need' or 'if i can get your other projects deprioritized will it happen faster' etc etc Just give him a big book and say hire as many people as you can, I want you to read this by tomorrow
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Apr 19, 2022 20:09
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Cloks posted:something about planning the next five sprints this morning broke me and i have an interview this afternoon, full remote got the job, putting an end to this thrilling story more money, defined responsibilities, less work - everything i was looking for
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Apr 19, 2022 21:30
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Grats!
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Apr 19, 2022 21:33
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Cloks posted:got the job, putting an end to this thrilling story 
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Apr 19, 2022 21:43
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