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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Lazy_Liberal posted:

jimbob is my safe word

That doesn't actually sound very safe.

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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Say Nothing posted:

I was going to photoshop Josh, but he has absolutely no distinguishing facial features.
Seriously, his face looks like a condom full of oatmeal.

Fill a condom with oatmeal, take a picture, and then blend Josh's face on to it

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


What the gently caress? Did I miss out on being molested as a child? How the gently caress is this a common occurrence? I guess I wasn't a tempting enough five-year-old. I should have worn tighter shorts and maybe stretched a lot before running around the neighborhood.

I get that a lot of diddling is about easy access, power and control, but at least stick to your age band if you have to rape someone. Jesus, it's not that hard, is it?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


cynic posted:

I had a job working for a government department, covering a smallish geograhical area, who investigated times when social services had hosed up regarding physical and sexual abuse (not investigating huge pedo rings and the like). The archives department where I worked had tens of thousands of case records, which I had to review. Most harrowing job I ever had, ended up quitting after about three months. Yes it's far more common than people believe, and in a lot of cases far worse than you know. Lot of the records had medical evidence in them, makes me cry a little to remember it even though that job was 15 years ago.

Sounds like three months was a pretty good run for something like that. Turnover on that particular position must be very frequent.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


I hate to break it to you guys, but being right with the Lord doesn't absolve you from being punished by the world for your sins. The laws of God are expressly not the laws of man, and Christians are called on to obey worldly authorities where their laws do not contradict the laws of God. Government authorities are granted the right to rule by God's divine will, for good and for ill. Since Josh and his parents conveniently didn't report this crime until it was no longer punishable by law, it is perfectly acceptable to me that the Duggars take some heat now. Jesus promised his followers a life full of suffering, hardships and unjust persecution, so just trust in the Lord and await your rewards in heaven. If you want a comfortable life free from want or worry, come join me in the atheist camp.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Commie NedFlanders posted:

do you really see those two groups at the same level? i mean yeah we're all sinners but can you really not see a difference between the duggars family and the phelps family?

For starters, the Phelps treat their women much better.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Do It Once Right posted:

The euro-judeo christ exists as a thing to be fought, not just ignored. But at the very least, it should be totally ignored.


Aww, gently caress
Imagine I typed an awesome carepost totally destroying your position here. I had a thing, I accidentally deleted it. But your takeaway should be that I'm super-cool and awesome in a lot of different ways.

Hey man, I'm just repeating what I was taught about The Lord till I was 18. If it makes you feel better, I think it's dumb.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


you irl posted:

lol why are people care-replying to a troll

I yen for the old days; the dark days.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Jeem Ba'hab, househead of the Dug'aar, stood tall on the crest of the dun as he surveyed the farmlands below, shielding his sensitive eyes from the setting sun with a twisted and stunted flipper that would have been a surfacer's left hand. Another dolmen had been defaced recently, and it was Jeem's sacred duty to exact a bloody toll for the sacrilegious actions of the apostates. Earlier, while the cruel sun burned overhead, in the damp and twisted tunnels of his clanhome, Jeem had kneeled and sworn a sacred oath before his broodmother. Her holy distended vulva quivered moistly in approval before him; an incredible honor to any of the Arrowmen. His eyes teared as he recalled her glorious musk.

"Arrowmen, we raid tonight. We rape tonight."

Jeem thrust his crude spear into the air and the clansmen below him on the hillock let out a guttural cacophony of cheers.

Down below, in the farmlands, men, women and children hid and sobbed desperate prayer to Obanga. They knew what that sound meant, that awful bellow. Not many would escape this night unmolested.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007



That is beautiful.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


"In those days when Libertator Hussein Obama did cruelly rule, Joshua, first son of James Robert, was falsely accused of impropriety. All of the people of the land did cry out for justice against him, though he had done no wrong. Joshua's sister-wives spoke on his behalf before great multitudes, but none would listen. So hot was the anger of the unfaithful that they did beseech their Moorish lord to send soldiers to capture Joshua and to make war on Christmas so to humble his supporters. The faithful, righteous and pure among the multitudes did rise to defend Joshua and his tribe. And so it came to pass that the Great Communist Muslim Obama was slain on the battlefield of Ur Kansas during a terrible battle. There was much rejoicing throughout the land and many came to know the Lord."

Second Book of Duggars Chapter 1

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Shnag posted:

Commie nedflanders, while trolling, is really doing a net positive service. He does a solid job portraying a far right fundie view point. Start off by having a vague idea of whats going on, and then choose the most positive possible view point and go with it. " Sure he touched his sister over her clothes, she was his age and they (implying it was mutual} were just experimenting! It happened only once! and he apologized! (once, and nothing happened after that) Its all a liberal attack!" From that point you have to slowly point out each and every single part of the conversation he got wrong, as if you just info dumped him everything that actually happened, he could smuggly say you have an agenda, or think to much about it. And even after you very slowly point every single aspect of the case, a fundie could always say "Jesus forgives!" . And apparently any and all criticism is forfeit at that point. So really, if anyone is defending the duggers in any sense of the word, its best just to ignore them, and there is quite literally nothing to sway them from their view point, and considering the starting point is incestuous underage molestation, that is saying alot.

I had this conversation real life a few days ago. I quote "you've been reading a lot of liberal blogs, haven't you?"

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


I thought Lot's daughters were under the impression that the world had been destroyed. Getting their dad blind drunk and loving him was an act of desperate species preservation.

Soddom and Gammorah were destroyed due to violating the sacred code of hospitality, not because of kinky sex poo poo. That's why Lot was considered righteous when he offered his daughters to the mob outside his house. He was willing to sacrifice his own kin to protect the men (secretly angels) that the townspeople wanted to beat, rape and murder for being foreigners. Hospitality was serious business back in the day.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Angels definitely aren't into dudes. Chicks, yes. They banged enough earth women to make the nephilim, according to some traditions.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Angela Christine posted:

Nah. The problem with inbreeding is negative recessive traits. Presumably if an omnipotent god was going to create a single couple to start a species, he wouldn't give them any negative recessive traits. Inbreeding isn't a problem if your genes are perfect. Of course that didn't last long, mutations must happen at a crazy rate to get the diversity of humans we have now in under 6,000 years. Noah's flood must have been radioactive or something.

The apologetic answer to the inbreeding question is that man started out perfect in the garden, but sin gradually corrupted God's
design, allowing things like genetic mutation to take place.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


The Bible posted:

I don't think the lower tiers ever really get a description. The only hint you get is that when one shows up, people are scared shitless, which reinforces the whole monster thing.

The whole "human shaped" and "naked baby" concept comes from art, doesn't it?

God himself took human form to win a wrasslin' match by cheating (would have lost otherwise) and I'm pretty sure the S&G angels were seen as men.

E: but yeah, the general angel opener is "be not afraid."

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


If you seriously want to read the Bible (lit. Book) then I suggest a study bible that lays out the different books and tells you about the author, when it was written, who it was written for, why it was written, what style it was written in, (poetry is not history is not allegory is not legalease etc) and maybe pick up a solid reading plan that groups the books by theme, and relation to each other. Don't forget the apocrypha! First and Second Maccabees, at the very least. They actually explain what happened right before Jesus was born and thus why the Jews were waiting for a messiah in the first place.

Reading cover to cover straight through with no context is frustrating, nonsensical and terrible. Pick up some commentaries too. Then check out how modern Jews practice their religion. Then maybe look into church history and the different major sects. poo poo will begin to make a lot more sense that way.

TL;DR reading and understanding the bible is a large undertaking that will take a lot of time and effort.

Most Christians I know rarely even crack the fucker open and I'm an atheist.

Oh yeah, then there's apologetics...

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Wulfolme posted:

http://www.usccb.org/bible/books-of-the-bible/index.cfm

Does this site look good, and does this have most of the apocrypha in it? It has Macabees in the middle of the Old Testament, along with good looking introductions before each book.

E: every study guide im finding is stupid, is there something specific that will bring up ones that actually tell you what books mean what to which and all that? ...or maybe do you just remember a good one?

I have the Legacy Study Bible. It's got a fair bit of info for each chapter and room for notes on every page etc. it's the Hank Hanegraaf one. I got the leather one because it's nice. Also has an associated study plan I believe. It's been a few years since I did any bible poo poo, so I may have to check that out.

http://www.amazon.com/Legacy-Study-...f/dp/B001O9CAIQ

E: I'm not sure if the cheaper ones have all of the margin space and extras, like a place for your family tree and poo poo. There's also maps by era.

Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Jun 14, 2015

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


SocketWrench posted:

I think that's not simplified enough for apologetics. It's more like "The bible means what it says and is completely right and inerrant unless it says something I don't like" since you'll see that it's not always bonkers or horrible things that draw the apologetics crowds

Apologetics literally means the legal defense of something. You can be an apologist for anything. Christian apologetics interests me because I play tabletop RPGs and I'm a dirty rules lawyer. It's like rules lawyering for The Lord!

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


The Last Temptation of Duggar
A Scorsese film about the last days of Josh Duggar's life before his martyrdom where he must make the difficult decision to stop molesting his own children long enough to be martyred.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


SteveVizsla posted:

Man, I was strongly considering ordering this, until I saw this other book by the same guy: http://www.amazon.com/Face-That-Dem...n/dp/0849942721

It's a good starter version of the bible before going on to more secular tomes. Hanegraaf is my guilty radio listen because his Bible Answer Man program is nothing but fielding apologetics questions. His stuff is definitely not objective. He's a believer. At least he's not a young earth creationist.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007



Don't post your Dr Who fanfic. Mods?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


a starwar betamax posted:

Some real badass atheists Doing sick owns on the bible itt

Thank you. I try my best.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


TNG posted:

Couldn't Gothardite men just blind themselves to avoid temptation? Seems like a sensible solution to me. You won't have to worry about those false Jezebels and their wiles if your eyes are gouged out after all.

This is actually a thing Jesus said. It, and the surrounding verses are trying to get across, with plenty of sarcasm, that if you have bad poo poo in your life, deal with it. Cut it out, as it were. In this case, the Duggar men need to take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions rather than putting on a self-righteous show of being pure.

E: Nike!

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Inside Out Mom posted:



Unless there is more news coming out we should really close the thread here.

G*d wills it.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


IllCamino posted:

darwin and einstein were cuzin fukkkers. seems like the smart thing to do.

As long as you're loving a reasonably distant cousin, you're alright for quite a few generations. Also, if you didn't grow up with them around then it's likely that you and your cousin would find each other desirable. Genetics or some poo poo.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Man, now that people don't seem to be falling all over themselves to defend the actions of an incestuous pedophile rapist and the actions of his family that lead to him evading legal punishment, I can't seem to build up any sort of righteous anger any longer.All I've got is more of an intellectual disapproval now.

Is Duggargate over?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


That is still the best abuse counseling.

Since you weren't to blame (this time) for your sexual assault, look on the bright side. You get a nebulous and poorly defined "gift" from The Lord.*

* may include child you must carry to term and care for

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Staying away from a new mother because she is impure is in the Old Testament. Yes, the time is doubled if the child is female.

There's a whole swath of things, including being near menstruating women, that require ritual cleansing.

It's all there in Leviticus. Chapter 12 for the birth thing. One week and then 33 days for a boy, 2 weeks and 66 days for a girl.

E: Yes


Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 03:21 on Jun 19, 2015

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Angela Christine posted:

Oops, wrong thread sister

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


unpacked robinhood posted:

The retardest way to describe a duration, gj bibble

I assume it's two different levels of ritual cleansing and isolation. Not concerned enough to research.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Vag grab

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Duggar II: Dug Deeper; 20-5-year-olds and Counting

Part VI of the hit Young Adult novel series, Got Hard: If the Victim is Not to Blame; Family Research Counselor

Cumming to theaters this Fall.

Lim Lob

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Deki posted:

You guys joke, but aren't you the least bit curious about the 'tang that jimbob seems to come back to time after time?

Not really. It's his religious duty to pump as many children out of his wife as possible, according to the fringe fundamentalist Christian sect he belongs to. As the de facto public face of his particular brand of crazy, Jorm Biib's feelings on the matter don't necessarily make a difference. He's got a lot of societal pressure urging him to gently caress his wife, so even if he hates that poo poo he'd still be up in it every fuckin day.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Buttcoin purse posted:

I'm guessing he's not dry humping her at the putt putt course because his religion demands it, it's because he's a horny sleaze who loves throwing his hot dog down.. no, wait, maybe he has to dry hump her because that's the only way he gets any feeling, and it takes a whole day of dry humping to be ready to blow his load into the void.

He was doing that to establish dominance. That was on a double date with his daughter and her suitor. They're only allowed to hold hands while standing side to side with plenty of distance. That was purely a power display.



Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Yeah, he Dug me!

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


The invisible hand of the free market really worked for TLC, I see.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


" Then I saw her countenance,
Now I'm gonna Duggar her,
Not a trace of doubt in my mind,
I'm in love, she's my baby sister,
I couldn't not Duggar her if I tried"

-Dugmouth

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Rupert Buttermilk posted:

What the hell is that?

I think you mean, The Duggeys

I thought it better to sully an inferior cover band, rather than the original artist.

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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Nickelback Concert posted:

Nobody ever told my brother's gonna grope me
I ain't a girl that you'd call a catch
I was looking kind of dumb with his finger and his thumb
Tugging my breasts and exploring my young snatch

Well, the press start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to TMZ and the tweets keep runnin
Didn't make sense not to tell my pops
Jim Bob tried to hide when we told the cops

Brother's a perv who likes his kin
So what's wrong with admitting it's just sin?
You'll never know what's wrong with your bro
He'll never stop if I don't grow

[Chorus:]
Hey, now, you're a Duggar get your sin on, go pray
Hey, now, you're a Duggar never get out, never get laid
And all us Duggars will pray
That Josiah doesn't come out as gay

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