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Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:

The more I think about it the more I love that the OP's soul mate, who he is destined to love and support forever, is a demisexual womyn with vaginsmus and major depressive disorder. That is not the work of a cold and uncaring universe..that is the work of a universe run by FYAD.

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Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Its not GEcafe without a loose sausage casing.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


coronatae posted:

I'd like to request that age-old quote about weight loss, it's in the form of the dialog of a lady on the phone with her friend Barb. She talks about what she ate all day (a ton of unhealthy poo poo) and then laments how the weight just won't come off!

Need it as motivation to mind what the hell I eat.

anyway like I was saying, Barb, I don't understand why I can't keep weight off, why today I didn't even have breakfast, just grabbed a quick bagel and creame chease and a glass of OJ from the fridge! I was starving from skiping breakfast but I kept to my diet and all I had was a chef salad you know the kind with like cheese and ham and eggs and stuff, goes great with some ranch, and two slices of that garlic bread they make on thursdays. Of course it was Pam's birthday at the office so I had a little slice of the cake. I was feelin' a little tired around 2:30 so I went to the cafeteria and grabbed some coffee to wake me up, it was great they had the 24 oz carmelattaccinos on sale for $3.85, anyway the coffee woke me right up and I made it through the day, didn't want that left over cake to go to waste so I had another slice before leaving. And all I had for dinner was chicken! Chicken is good for you! And this recipe was so good, too. You take the chicken and roll it in egg, then bread crumbs, and fry it for about 5 minutes, then pour some cream sauce and a sack of cheese on the top and cook it for about 30 minutes, it comes out SO good it's like a pure orgasm, orgasming into your mouth anyway just some vegitables on the side, i think it was cream corn, and some mashed potatoes just like gramma used to make and she was never fat, she didn't even have a job all she did was stay at home while dad worked and spend most of the day working the land and wrangling five kids but yeah that chicken was great, and since I was "good" today with skipping breakfast and just have salad for lunch I figured I'd treat myself to a nice bowl of ice cream before bed, with some of that butterscotch sauce on top. Bobby didn't finish his, said something about the cream corn making him sick, so I ate that up too just so it didn't go to waste so yeah as you can see I'm a VERY conservative eater but these stubborn pounds just will NOT go away. Oh well must be genetic, ahh it's getting close to bed time OOOHH macguyver reruns, better make some microwave popcorn have you tried this kind Butter Explosion, you can tell it's good cause the guy on the picture is surfing on a wave of butter anyway talk to you later

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


I'm the modest yet adequately workable dick size.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


"I run slow" is concise and to the point and tells you a lot about the person who wrote it, where he is, where he's going, and where he's been that isn't explicitly stated, and as a result has you rooting for him.

But what if... what if, goons, it was also 5 times as long, reads like an amalgamation of 5 years worth of 'inspirational' Facebook posts by your grandma and that one girl who you found annoying but not annoying enough to cull from your friends list just yet because her tendency to rant about the drama of her shambolic life is still amusing, and written by a man who has likely unironically used the phrase "but I make up for it with my tongue", picked that particular verbal turd off the floor where it fell, and adhered it to himself like a badge of honour.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Kitfox88 posted:

Thanks


What

Read the wall of text upthread posted by bucephales.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


loving poetry.

Does anyone have a link to adaptive-systems.pdf?

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Your Dunkle Sans posted:

From the Jrodefeld "Why Should We Care About Property Rights?" Thread, wherein a notorious DnD libertarian and virulently sociopathic racist defends his views with "hey guys, I'm totally not a racist!" only to immediately get shut down repeatedly for being an ignorant idiot manchild:

Of note is the fact that in the post directly prior he points out how not racist he is by talking about how he's totally down with the rap music .

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


On the subject of Derek Smart.

Mr.Tophat posted:

Being in a constant internet war must change how you see text on a screen. Instead of seeing comments you see lawsuits like in the matrix.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


There's a house in my home town that has a second-story side window that is both close to very visible from a main arterial road which has cutouts of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones from the original MiB looking out, and has had them there pretty much since the original movie came out. Every now and then the guy who has put them there does something special like putting santa hats on them at Christmas, bunny ears at Easter, or putting a cutout of a bikini model between them on Valentine's day.

If you're ever traveling East on Cross Road, Adelaide, check them out.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Doom, quake, and half Life aka the three big daddy franchises of fps all have the plot of "we made a portal, oh whoops here come nasty things pouring out of it, time to wreck them"

There's something about interdimentional gateways that makes for good blasty action.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Can someone link or quote for me the original retard masturbator post?

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Improbable Lobster posted:

I'm also so smart about movies that I can only compare events to Star Wars.

Be honest: who else had a bunch of those trite "This is how democracy dies... with thunderous applause" loving Padme quotes making GBS threads up their facebook today?

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!



MotherFUCKER.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Horror_Business posted:

This? I lost the source...

That post needs to be written on a fedora in needlepoint and then immediately burned.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!



I have never been prouder to be baffled by an analogy.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Pick posted:

and the fact is i still like touching my cat's nipples to the beat like some sort of extremely uncomfortable revival of guitar hero, and i guess my point is people come in two flavors: psychos and boring a-holes,

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!



It's a testament to how hosed up people are that before clicking on the quote link I checked my last read post in the r/relationships mock thread because I thought I was about to lose my place in it.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


A reminder that Google search used to auto complete the phrase "call the police on" with "Granos".

e: Still does!

Breetai has a new favorite as of 10:38 on Mar 28, 2017

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Neddy Seagoon posted:

Fox now has an entire crime series about using an app for reporting crimes, all so that people can report Granos on-sight in Chicago as quickly as possible.

I just realised that the Granos joke thread was from 2007.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


That reads like the kind of poo poo you hear narrated in the Hannibal TV show as the camera slowly pans up to reveal the latest serial killer grotesquery like a spiral staircase lovingly crafted out of severed dicks or whatever.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


The first reply to the first (in earnest, started by a true believer who explained what Bitcoin was) Bitcoin thread was in its entirety "Autism Kroners", and is frankly untouchable as far as first replies go.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!



For the Americans, in Australia; a country where 'stinkyhole' can be a term of affection, this would absolutely start a fight (which we call a 'barney').

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Facebook Aunt posted:

What do australians have against the vengabus?


Any dinkum Aussie bloke out on the pull is gunna pile his cobbers into his ute and go down pub to listen to Barnsie or Farnsie while downing tinnies, or once in a blue moon hit a bush doof. Watching a bunch of skinny sheilas bounce around like blowies? Pigs arse!

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


If I had to choose a single word to describe it, it would be 'prescient'.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


I'm imagining the niggerstomper post in boots' voice and hmbol.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


POOL IS CLOSED posted:

can we make omelets from their eggs though

You can make all-platypus custard.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


John Dyne posted:

Not enough farting samurai. Samurais? I dunno the plural but there's not enough of them.



skeleton warrior posted:

Samuree

Samur-a-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


syscall girl posted:

Are you new to because they co-opted something they couldn't understand and they're the ones looking like a fool with their pants on the ground

Why did they co-opt that particular image, by the by?

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Solice Kirsk posted:

I never really venture into CD, but everything I hear and see from SMG make me think he's the sole flower growing out of a pot of dirt.

CD regulars hate SMG not because he holds up a funhouse mirror to CD, but because he holds up an entirely accurate one.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


CD has a sizable contingent who believe that Alien: Covenant was a good film. The light of reason does not penetrate there.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!



Someone I know had a fairly raucous party wherein a houseguest and his girlfriend snuck into an upstairs bedroom for some anal hankey pankey.

A combination of keeping the lights off so as not to arouse suspicion, him wearing a condom, and both of them being plastered, meant that they didn't realise that the serendipitous finding of a handy pot of lube in a dresser drawer was actually Vicks Vapo-rub until he was hilt-deep in her barnhole.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


It is almost as if the initial usage of purple prose terminating in a rather brutish obscenity was a lexical device designed to defy expectations thereby eliciting laughter through the juxtaposition of radically different styles of communication, you cunts.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


*goatse, but with one pinkie finger delicately raised*

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Speaking of members of our superior community, which was the goon/quote where someone basically dropped the most epic "um, actually..."of all time during a discussion of their sexual proclivities?

It was something along the lines of "No, no, no, you guys have it all wrong! He doesn't actually poo poo directly in my mouth, it's just that occasionally during our sexual activities my mouth just happens to get poo poo in it!"

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Ah, here we are.

quote:

EBT posted:

I normally know a lot about kink (I am a slave about to be branded and collared), but I have a question about scat and the effects ones diet has on it. As I am trying to lose weight I rarely eat meat, and I have found that this basicly makes the scat tasteless. However a friend of mine maintins that what she has had experiance with it is like sour milk, and I am wondering if anyone happens to know what exactly will effect the flavor (like how fake sugar makes cum bitter and nuts make cum meaty).


EBT posted:

We are branching in to poo poo play, and sometimes it gets places. I am to only call a safeword when I am risking perminate non cosmetic damage, so a little poo poo in my mouth is *not* enough to stop what is going on. Though at some point in the future, who knows me may leave that area or we maybe push the boundry further. And I do not need weight and watch as I was able to figure out how to lose about 100 pounds in 7 months on my own thank you very much.


EBT posted:

No, I understand that a lot of people find it distasteful, and it does cary a certain risk. I was just correcting the statements he made, I don't just eat poo poo because it is there, but sometimes I do have to consoume it. I don't however like being called a fake post. ;.;


That's the good stuff.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Picnic Princess posted:

So I'm not really into BDSM stuff but if someone tells you you're not allowed to safeword unless _______ isn't that a sign you should run far far away?

You dont understand our love, kinkshamer! *pick fragments of corn from between teeth*

Protip: most really hardcore bdsm people are awful, and a lot of them very definitely blur the line between kinky sex and outright abuse on a consistent basis.

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Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

Mah spoon is too big!


Closed-Down Pizza Parlor posted:

Correct; you are allowed to safeword whenever the hell you feel like it and if the dom does not agree enthusiastically with that, get the gently caress out


Incorrect; you hear about the awful ones because the good ones don't post about their poo poo all over the internet, they just do it and have a good time

I may be biased because I've been trawling FetLife for material for the AUG thread, and I've seen gross fuckers, drama whores, and clear cases of domestic abuse masquerading as BDSM galore.

Also a really high proportion of ladies there list themselves as being into that super gross ddlg poo poo.

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