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SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



The Titanic posted:

What would happen if you threw gravity goo into a fire?
It smells of black cherry and lint.

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Hav
Dec 11, 2009



Fun Shoe

Beet Wagon posted:

yeah I didn't feel the need to touch that with a ten foot pole. I never knew Vilerat and I never played EVE, but that was obviously a low blow intended to make people mad, as well it should - that's a pretty hosed up shot to take.

I did both and he can go gently caress himself.

I mean, seriously, insert his keyboard into his anus sideways. No, don't worry about the wrist-rest, you'll be surprised at the ability of the sphincter to stretch. But just mash that thing right up inside.

Mangoose
Dec 11, 2007

Come out with your pants down!

Hav posted:

I did both and he can go gently caress himself.

I mean, seriously, insert his keyboard into his anus sideways. No, don't worry about the wrist-rest, you'll be surprised at the ability of the sphincter to stretch. But just mash that thing right up inside.

This is a good post.

Nektu
Jul 4, 2007

FUKKEN FUUUUUUCK


Cybernetic Crumb


Why is that man jerking the cat?

Strangler 42
Jan 8, 2007

SHAVE IT ALL OFF
ALL OF IT


Nektu posted:

Why is that man jerking the cat?

It's the only way to get it to calm down

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:



Variable 5 posted:

I saw "punching above its weight" in an email today

Immediately thought of this thread

Thanks, jerks

Just say "I feel grief" and call your fellow co-workers commandos. It is funny how fast they catch on.

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.



hot balls man no homo posted:

It's the only way to get it to calm down

By the way it rockets off into space, it doesn't seem to be working.

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,


Raised by Hamsters posted:

I feel like it's wrong to focus exclusively on the shifting nature of 3.0, without also going further back. Wasn't 3.0 itself just a rebranded 2.7? Which was itself the catch all Jesus patch for everything that was being promised for the original 2.4 (think that was the first Jesus number if I remember right).

I'd be really curious if anyone had original proposed content on those patches back when they were being bandied about as the next great thing.

An excerpt from the vomitous puff piece tripe from gamestar.de Posted July 2016 on RSI forums by a mod:

quote:

The Next Steps
After we played for a while to make a picture for ourselves about the technological background (of the game) at Foundry 42, we naturally wanted to know, when it will be playable live. Chris Roberts told us what the next steps to update the alpha builds for backers will look like.

First there will be an update to version 2.5 soon. This contains a new space station for the existing mini universe(see box on page 14). "The station is more targeted at players, that lets say want to move beyond the law", explains Roberts. The allusion refers to the pirate base named Grim Hex, which was shown recently by Cloud Imperium Games in their Online-Video-Show "Around the Verse" shortly. Grim Hex is the opposite to the already existing station Port Olisar in the playable Stanton System. "With that we want to enable the gameplay between two factions, to see, what the players will make of it", so Roberts.

After that follows 2.6, in which the developers want to introduce the First-Person-Shooter-Module Star Marine. Star Marine will be played outside of the persistant universe, like the already existing module Arena Commander, in which one can test his piloting skills. It is specially designed for multiplayer shooter sessions, with separate levels. "We have invested very much time into the FPS-mechanics, which will be very noticeable if compared to the actual rudimentary systems in 2.4", says Roberts. The developer show us a corresponding gameplay segment, which leaves an excellent impression: Animation, controls and weapon feeling were thoroughly overhauled, so that for a shooter player it really feels good. The result: Seamless movements and clean gunplay – keep it up!

With version 2.7 CIG wants to implement procedural planet technology into the live universe. In the first step it will for the first time become possible to travel the complete Stanton System. At the moment version 2.4 contains only parts of it, in whcih which one can't land on planets or space ports. This will change fundamentally. "Version 2.7 is the next big step for us, which will contain much more playable content for our backers", remarks Roberts. Planets and Moons in the Stanton System will be directly approachable and the players can land on them, like on the afore mentioned Outlaw-Base Grim Hex. With following patches more landing zones will find their way into the Stanton System, like for example Hurston and Microtech, two important corporation locations in the Star Citizen Universe. The proclaimed target of CIG is, to make Stanton playable in its full extent before the end of 2016, with all stations and landing zones, which Roberts estimates to 40 locations. It shall also be possible, to play considerably more missions... end...

Then they pull the ol' switcheroo we are no longer burning down to 2.7, we are burning down to 3.0. We have always been burning down to 3.0.
Posted August 21st 2016 (Gamescom) by our "special" superfan friend Boredgamer

quote:

STAR CITIZEN ALPHA 3.0 FEATURES
Renamed from Star Citizen Alpha 2.7 & Released Planned Before End of 2016

Expanding the Stanton System
-ArcCorp, Hurston, Microtech, Crusader, Delamar
-New Space Stations, Moons & Asteroid Belts (30-40 locations)

Planets
-Planetary Landing
-Atmospheric Flight
-Free Roaming
-Landing Zones
-Ground Combat
-Ground Vehicles
(Mentions of Procedural Planets 2.0, with Oceans, Water, Plant Life)

Basic Professions
-Piracy
-Bounty Hunting
-Cargo Hauling
-Trading
-Mercenary

Item 2.0
-Inner Thought – “Contextual Action System Replacing Use” (wtf is this shitfuck?)
-Refactored Items

StarNetwork 1.0
-New Network CODE Increasing performance
-More Players
-BETTER

Subsumption 1.0
-NPCs
-Schedules for NPCs
-Diverse NPC Actions
-Day & Night Cycles
-Increased Missions & Complexity of them
-Economy Driven Missions

Mission 1.0
Dynamic Missions that can be template, modular, NPC & Economy Driven
-Jobwell Mission Board
-Other Missions

Ships & Vehicles
-Dragonfly
-Ursa Rover

Toops fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Sep 25, 2017

stingtwo
Nov 16, 2012


Raised by Hamsters posted:

I feel like it's wrong to focus exclusively on the shifting nature of 3.0, without also going further back. Wasn't 3.0 itself just a rebranded 2.7? Which was itself the catch all Jesus patch for everything that was being promised for the original 2.4 (think that was the first Jesus number if I remember right).

I'd be really curious if anyone had original proposed content on those patches back when they were being bandied about as the next great thing.

Every patch since the PU released was supposed to be the jesus patch, "fixed netcode, more players, new locations, new UI" in each announcement it that has either been forgotten or been such a broken heap of poo poo it's been taken OUT of the game. The list of what they have added would make steam shovelware developers laugh.

What you saw at gamescom that the public touched is 3.0, thats it. The morons on Reddit are already talking about 4.0.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015







Toops posted:

An excerpt from the fraudulent puff piece tripe from gamestar.de Posted July 2016 on RSI forums by a mod:


Then they pull the ol' switcheroo we are no longer burning down to 2.7, we are burning down to 3.0. We have always been burning down to 3.0.
Posted August 21st 2016 (Gamescom) by our "special" superfan friend Boredgamer

Toops you're puttin' in some fuckin' serious work today. A+ my dude.

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,


Beet Wagon posted:

Toops you're puttin' in some fuckin' serious work today. A+ my dude.

I'm jacked to the TITS!!!!

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006





Toops posted:

I'm jacked to the TITS!!!!

Where's Solar Plebeian Mr Toopsberts

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,


Keep on truckin', CIG! I trust you!! take all the time you need! :shepicide:

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

It would be a sad error in judgement to mistake me for a corpse.


Clapping Larry

Nobody can criticize CIG until they release Star Citizen before they do.

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,


Daztek posted:

Where's Solar Plebeian Mr Toopsberts

I'm currently refactoring to Item Object Co-Location Heuristic Container System Object Pipeline Fidelity Ball Immersion Interface 6.0. It's going very well and looking good!

Gimme a coupl'a weeks.

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,


Jobbo_Fett posted:

Nobody can criticize CIG until they release Star Citizen before they do.

Uh, tell me again, how many genre-redefining AAAA games have you single-handedly birthed into this world you worthless fudder?

Yeah. That's what I thought. Have fun in your mom's toilet gutter basement buttering up your buttcheeks for your daily deep DEREK dicking, GOONER.

Hav
Dec 11, 2009



Fun Shoe

Toops posted:

I'm currently refactoring to Item Object Co-Location Heuristic Container System Object Pipeline Fidelity Ball Immersion Interface 6.0. It's going very well and looking good!

Can we get it in cornflower blue?

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014



Toops posted:

I'm currently refactoring to Item Object Co-Location Heuristic Container System Object Pipeline Fidelity Ball Immersion Interface 6.0. It's going very well and looking good!

Gimme a coupl'a weeks.

How many jackets has it got?

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

It would be a sad error in judgement to mistake me for a corpse.


Clapping Larry

Toops posted:

Uh, tell me again, how many genre-redefining AAAA games have you single-handedly birthed into this world you worthless fudder?

Yeah. That's what I thought. Have fun in your mom's toilet gutter basement buttering up your buttcheeks for your daily deep DEREK dicking, GOONER.

42 :smuggo:

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,


Hav posted:

Can we get it in cornflower blue?

YES

big nipples big life posted:

How many jackets has it got?

YES

IcarusUpHigh
Dec 20, 2016



Hey Toops, what is the Single Player campaign of Solar Plebian called do you know? That's what I funded and tbh Solar Plebian is secondary ya know?

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015







IcarusUpHigh posted:

Hey Toops, what is the Single Player campaign of Solar Plebian called do you know? That's what I funded and tbh Solar Plebian is secondary ya know?

I got this one, Toops.

You know, I get really annoyed when I hear people saying "How come the single player campaign isn't in Solar Plebeian yet?" and stuff like that, because single player - I mean it was just a gamemode used to be a testbed for the mechanics that were going to go into the full game. Things like bird collection and ramming spaceships, that's already in there now. You're already playing it!

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:



Hav posted:

Can we get it in cornflower blue?

Heh, nice reference.

IcarusUpHigh
Dec 20, 2016



Beet Wagon posted:

I got this one, Toops.

You know, I get really annoyed when I hear people saying "How come the single player campaign isn't in Solar Plebeian yet?" and stuff like that, because single player - I mean it was just a gamemode used to be a testbed for the mechanics that were going to go into the full game. Things like bird collection and ramming spaceships, that's already in there now. You're already playing it!

Well that's all I needed to hear, here's another $3000.

Combat Theory
Jul 16, 2017



- Saw r/DS talking about vile rat
- Didn't know who he was
- Read about vile rat
.
.
drat.
.
.

I am just a goon toddler at this point. But I wanted to say that I'm happy with you folks. You are all to a degree functional and nice people (and yes I also only barely qualify for that). And poo poo like that stuff on r/DS is disgusting... I know I should know better but drat can't these people have some loving dignity.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is




thegremlich's thought process is devoid of all logic

Hav
Dec 11, 2009



Fun Shoe

Combat Theory posted:

But I wanted to say that I'm happy with you folks.

We kinda think you're cool too. Rub?

Percelus posted:

thegremlich's thought process is devoid of all logic

His logic is also devoid of thought.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004


Exciting Lemon

Percelus posted:

thegremlich's thought process is devoid of all logic

How else would you explain backing the game at this point?

Hav
Dec 11, 2009



Fun Shoe

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

How else would you explain backing the game at this point?

The boundless and intractable depths of human stupidity, the farthest reaches of which have yet to be navigated by man or womankind?

The capacity for human delusion in the face of a mechanistic and unfeeling machine of a universe, bent on grinding all to dust, facing inevitability with a feeble swipe at eternity by espousing a cause greater than themselves?

Exinos
Mar 1, 2009


Jobbo_Fett posted:

Nobody can criticize CIG until they release Star Citizen before they do.

So the makers of Goat Simulator are able to criticize CIG then.

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,


Beet Wagon posted:

You know, I get really annoyed when I hear people saying "How come the single player campaign isn't in Solar Plebeian yet?" and stuff like that, because single player - I mean it was just a gamemode used to be a testbed for the mechanics that were going to go into the full game. Things like bird collection and ramming spaceships, that's already in there now. You're already playing it!

Would have said it myself but I'm just really busy with these boat reservations. Ehhhhmmmm, Monaco sure has a lot to learn about ehh, streamlined boat rental pipelines. Prolly just gonna go ahead and buy a drat boat myself lol.

tooterfish
Jul 13, 2013



Exinos posted:

So the makers of Goat Simulator are able to criticize CIG then.
As can anyone who's ever curled out a steaming wet turd.

Loxbourne
Apr 6, 2011

Tomorrow, doom!
But now, tea.

shrach posted:

The Mystery of Cloud Imperium Games UK Ltd and the Intellectual Property.

Trading of intellectual property between subsidiaries is a classic way to move money around. It's entirely possible those sales and purchases are to and from members of the Roberts family themselves, but I'd wager this is asset-shuffling in action between group companies.

It's also quite possible these include likeness rights, music/sound royalties, licences, etc. CIG will have a certain amount of normal creative rights turnover like any large creative company.

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them


Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/RobertsSpaceInd/status/912425412957032448

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,


Hav posted:

The boundless and intractable depths of human stupidity, the farthest reaches of which have yet to be navigated by man or womankind?

The capacity for human delusion in the face of a mechanistic and unfeeling machine of a universe, bent on grinding all to dust, facing inevitability with a feeble swipe at eternity by espousing a cause greater than themselves?

Might as well just pick a story and stick to it. I mean, Einstein proved relativity with maths, and all the gurus say this whole universe is a big fuckin' joke, so why not loosen up and buy some ship jpegs?

The Rabbi T. White
Jul 17, 2008







What the gently caress is this supposed to mean?

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014



The Rabbi T. White posted:

What the gently caress is this supposed to mean?

It's sandi's favorite number and she forces them to use it as often as possible

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


College Slice

thatguy posted:

Derek still hasn't posted pictures of his Iron Mountain-esque game vault.
:negative:

Says who? I actually have old ones on my website, from back when that was only the ones I had on the shelf. Now, as I stopped buying boxed games years ago, they're all in temp controlled storage location in containers. I have been planning on constructing a shelf in there, and putting them out, but it's a LOT of work, and I never get find an incentive to do it.

The Rabbi T. White
Jul 17, 2008






big nipples big life posted:

It's sandi's favorite number and she forces them to use it as often as possible

I think the excuse is worse than just admitting that they stole it from HHGTTG. "Favourite number" ... what are you, loving 8? Either that or autistic as all Hell.

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big nipples big life
May 12, 2014



The Rabbi T. White posted:

I think the excuse is worse than just admitting that they stole it from HHGTTG. "Favourite number" ... what are you, loving 8? Either that or autistic as all Hell.

The favorite number thing didn't come from CIG

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