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what will die first, star citizen or the thread? whoops snipe, have another sleepy wally ![]() alf_pogs fucked around with this message at 06:04 on Dec 5, 2017 |
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# ? Sep 1, 2024 01:34 |
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alf_pogs posted:what will die first, star citizen or the thread? This thread, obviously. Like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcrc4VdoueE
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The victim freezes into a tense position in front of their computer, livestreaming Star Citizen. We watch. ![]()
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D_Smart posted:I am prepared to print, sign, and mail him a signed copy of The July Blog. Such bravery must be rewarded. Send him a signed battlecruiser T-Shirt & a free lod key.
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printing out derek's blogs is really going to be bad news for many rainforests
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YOUTUBE: Walking In Hyperspace Ships As a Public Service and “3.0 experience” documentation exercise for those not playing, I’m including below this summary of a randomly selected new Dan Gheesling video. (I apologize for any link errors and the absence of graphics. I wrote it on my phone in stages as my schedule allowed. I may edit in gifs later.) A prior installment of this sort for those interested can be found here. That summary, written nearly two years ago, saw Batgirl engaging in a riveting “let’s go flip a switch on or off in a satellite array for AlphaUEC” Mission in 2.4. Heads were bonked, complications ensued, and a person actually capable of landing a plane in real life discovered that she could not, for all her experience, land a ship in the game she loves so painfully much... But that was nearly two years ago, and it’s often said much has changed since then. That there is more and better content in 3.0 than in a AAA game like GTA5. So with 3.0 around the corner and Cargo Missions finally adding wild variety to the “menial crap to do in the ‘Verse to earn meager game currency”, let’s check it out and get a measure of progress on the gameplay experience 21 months later. — SESSION 1 - QUANTUM JUMP BLUES 0:01 - Dan’s adventure begins, as all Star Citizen adventures must, with the “awake and escape from the bedroom” challenge. And lest you think getting out of a bed and opening a space door sounds hardly a risky affair, think again. Yet while the challenge recently proved fatal for Batgirl, Dan proves equal to the task. He survives opening the door and is off in search of mega-thrills in Chris Roberts’s living, breathing universe of 3 moons, 1 planet, and a planetoid on loan from another star system as yet not in the game. “Excited to get started here, we’ve hit a few of non-buttery patches of servers. But we’re going to give it the true experience here. We’re gonna battle through it.” He then explains that he’s received so many requests to perform a Cargo mission that this will indeed be today’s goal. 0:19 - He races to the terminal to spawn his ship of choice — the Avenger — and then, like a shot, he races out to board it. But it didn’t spawn, a fact he eventually realizes. IT’S ALPHA. No matter, he’ll just spawn an Aurora and engage in the first of many fictive conversations with his viewers. 1:12 - ”Alright, lets take an Aurora DL.” (imitating) “Dan, you’re gonna take a bucket of bolts over the Avenger?” (replying) ”Well we pulled out a little early and Albert gave us cream cheese when we asked for... some anchovy-filled olives. Alright nonetheless another of you guys said was ‘Hey Dan, you’re able to go buy the actual easy helmet.’” With that he’s off to the store and seconds later standing before the helmet he’d like to buy. 1:49 - “I would like to purchase the helmet.” Apparently the Voice Command feature is having a little trouble because despite repeated attempts to purchase the helmet, he can’t. So he instead heads off in search of adventure resigned to wearing his “Eddie Bauer helmet”. For now. 2:50 - He approaches his Aurora. Gets in. Spends a small eternity trying to get it started but eventually succeeds. 3 minutes since his bedroom escape, his adventure begins. 3:45 - Mobiglass Fu ensues, eventually leading him to accept his Cargo mission four minutes in to his session. The objective: Retrieve mineral samples from Daymar. Say goodbye to those boring “flip the switch on/off at the Comm Array” missions of old and hello to the thrilling “get in a spaceship, expend fuel and time, navigate the mobiglass interface, contend with quantum drive challenges and the vast in-game distances to pick up one box of minerals from a pile of junk on the dark side of a moon for a pittance in credits” missions. Now you’re playing with power — SuperPower. 6:10 - After several failed attempts to Quantum jump to Daymar, he decides to apply one of the most ancient of PC rituals to his Aurora. The full-power reboot. He shuts it off. Then powers it back up. And IT WORKS! 6:52 - “Quantum drive is now OFF. Quantum drive is now ON. Quantum drive is now OFF. Quantum drive is now ON.” (Just tap the button, Dan. Stop holding it.) 7:08 - A dazzling Quantum Jump slideshow begins. (imitating) “Dan the frames don’t look very good.” (replying) “Don’t worry ‘bout the frames we’re going for the order delivery.” 7:40 - He discovers he’s still too far from the target for a quick approach and thus will have to micro-jump closer. “Alright so let’s lock on to Orbital Marker 6 — get your dongers out, we’re going for it!” 9:08- “We’re fighting through the curds and whey to try to get to the butter server.” A protracted interlude of interface difficulty and user error ensues. Eventually his boredom gives way to reflection and a revelatory utterance worthy of the truest of Star Citizens. 11:15 - “Alright so now we are de-coupled we should just literally... use our acquiescence, our momentum to move forward.” (Acquiescence and momentum have gotten us this far, Dan, may they forever move us forward.) Meanwhile, back in the Verse, Dan feels an urgent longing and decides it’s time to play with danger. “While that’s going on... there’s a strong desire to get up and walk around, maybe lay down in the back.” (imitating) “Dan are you kidding me?” He explains that no, he’s not really kidding,“We’ve got a long way to go and what else are you gonna do?” (imitating) “But Dan if you get up, there’s a strong chance you may never sit down again.” (replying) ”I guess that’s a chance we have to take.” 12:03 - Dan leaves the pilot’s seat, eager to embark on a walkabout around his Aurora, a ship which has approximately two meters of walkable floor. After a brief session of ultra-fidelity crotch shots, his meditative Aurora stroll finds him harkening back to his tender years, as memories of his love of Legos resurface: ”As a kid, I would build Lego vehicles and ships. Not because I liked ships — I kinda did but moreso, I liked the ability to walk around inside of a moving vehicle — store things in there, hide things in there, pull up the panels underneath maybe hide some inadequate... No, do not... Maybe have a little hidden area there where you can hide contraband. But this is the dream. This is part of why I like Star Citizen.” 13:30 - Reinvigorated by his brisk toddle around the Aurora, he returns to the Pilot’s Seat. “I know there’s problems, I know there’s bugs, I know it’s Alpha, I know it’s going to take awhile. But... with that being said... we can walk around a moving ship. Respect it.” 15:15 - “This is the very definition of ghost riding the whip...” (imitating) “But Dan, you’re not very stable here...” ERROR: DISCONNECTION (CODE 30000) ”Noooo.” Yes, he crashed. The past 15 minutes spent attempting to consummate an in-game UPS Driver Mission are lost and the Groundhog Day rebirth cycle begins anew. He awakens in his space bed for what surely is his 10000th time at this point and embarks upon the “Awake and escape from the bedroom” mission again. — SESSION #2 - BUTTER SHUFFLE 15:28 - ”Chris Roberts taketh away... but also giveth. And this, look at this, this is a brand new fresh 60 fps server.” (imitating) “But Dan, why did you leave the other footage on this episode out?” (replying) ”This is why. So you can get a taste of the PTU. This is what it’s all about. You get some curds and whey and then you get the smooth butter.” The do-over begins. Frame rates are up as are butter nonsequitors. 16:11 - “The more butter, LOOK at all these people! They’re gravitating towards the butter. Open this. We gotta go! LOOK at how good — this is... I’m not gassing you guys up this is 100% 60 fps... or pretty darn close to it.” (imitating) ”Dan you said 100% - which is it?” (replying) ”You tell me — you see the smoke? I got no words for it. This is why when you get the Butter Server you take full advantage of it... I’d like... Butter!” He races through the hallways to get to his Avenger, but alas, are frames already slowing a bit on the Butter Server? “See it’s startin’... People are startin’ to drop some curds and whey.” 17:06 - He’s reached the Avenger and boards it post haste as the threat of impending curds and whey looms large over the Butter Server. (imitating) “Dan, you said you were gonna do a Cargo mission. (replying) “I think the title of this episode just became ‘Butter and Curds and Whey.” He quickly cycles through missions like a man on a mission to get missions while the getting is Butter and not Curds and Whey. 17:50 (imitating) “Dan you should probably read that quicker a little bit slower.” (replying) “I would... but at the same time, we’re trying to get some Butter into Daymar. But when we get some stableness we’re going to soak all this in like a fine vintage.” 18:21 - The race to get some Butter to Daymar goes Quantum. But upon arrival in orbit, complications ensue. He’s lost his mission. He navigates the Mobiglass in search of a Daymar-based Cargo mission because Butter, and fortunately, he finds one. A pickup mission at a stash house. He takes it. But sees no stash house added as quest marker. 19:22 - Panic threatens to set in, and Dan makes clear just how urgent the stakes are. In a brute force gambit to overcome any disappearing objective risks, he accepts every mission and looks to see if that added a quest marker. No joy. Perhaps a jump to a nearby marker might solve the problem? 20:20 - “One can only hope. Let’s enjoy the Butter. Thank you guys so much for tuning in by the way! — So did they not give us the butter?” Negatory, he sees no quest markers added after accepting all missions and jumping to a nearby orbital marker. Like you said before, Dan — Chris Roberts giveth and Chris Roberts taketh away. Daymar is out and Yela is in, at least as a waypoint en route to Cellin. 21:42 - After nearly 22 minutes of not being able to engage in his Cargo quest mission, maybe this time is different. He begins the routine futz-with-interfaces ritual to attempt to set his new destination. 23:00 - A minute and a half later, he jumps to Yela — and upon completion, he muses aloud that it would be interesting to poll his viewers for a confidence check in his ability to complete the mission, or at least pick up the stash. I believe in you, Dan — I gotta believe! Now in orbit around Yela, he can begin the next leg of the world’s most circuitous “get in get stuff get out” plan. It’s time to visit his third planetary body, Cellin. 23:43 - The Jump to Cellin about to begin, Dan contrasts the incredible experience he’s currently been enjoying with Elite Dangerous, and it’s pretty clear which side of the bread his Butter is coming from. ”Zing!” (Yeah I hate having to measure the barometric pressure in Elite before traveling, too, Dan.) 24:00 - He’s here — at Cellin! And better still, the quest marker is right before him. Finally, FINALLY, the quest is within arm’s reach, he’ll be there in no time! So what does Dan decide to do? (imitating) “Dan, are you going to walk around in the ship?” (replying) ”That’s debatable.” But after a few moments pass, he makes his choice. He will PLAY WITH DANGER again because Legos, Butter, etc. 24:40 - He gets out of his Pilot Seat... And it seems for a moment there might’ve been a problem, but no, everything’s fine. The terrifying mortal danger he was playing with by exiting a chair has past. Dan breaths a sigh of relief, “Ah, okay, nice. I was a LITTLE BIT concerned there...” THEN HE DIES. “Ahhh. Noooo.” — 25:10 - SESSION #3 - DAYMAR ELEGY 25:10 - “I cant believe that happened. No.” “Desperate times call for desperate measures. We’re back in the exact same locale, exact same server, exact same mission.” 25:30 - Now in the Drake Herald, he sees his abandoned Avenger and wonders if it will beat him to the planet. 25:40 - “We should be able to beat it. We’re coming in hot, we should blow past it, it may crater. I don’t know if we’re going to be able to save our ship but nonetheless, I’m going to get up and walk around.” He moves to do it. ”I’m just joking. I learned my lesson.” ![]() ![]() ![]() He continues his descent with blistering speed. (imitating) “Dan, do you think you should pull up yet?” (replying) ”I think we’ve still got some time. There’s our Avenger let’s give it a nice little cruise by, shall we?” Then it hits him, ”Oh we’re still going down Dan because you’re decoupled. Uh-oh! Pull-up!” BOINK! 27:07 - “Oooaaahhhh!” Dan’s ship spins wildly and you’d be forgiven for thinking all hope was lost, but no, he manages to stabilize it. He sets his sights on the quest objective and muses to self that he can’t believe he survived what should’ve been a fatal mistake. Given his past experience, maybe not leaving his pilot’s seat had something to do with that. The pick-up point is now in sight. Consummation of the objective twice denied him is finally near. 27:55 - ”There’s our product! It’s just out there!” 28:07 - ”IT’S JUST OUT THERE!” (imitating) ”Dan this is what you should be doing instead of dinkin’ around!” 28:17 - Dan pulls off an ”I can’t believe it’s not butter!” smooth landing that even he seems impressed with. ”Let’s go ahead and set her down- I didn’t know it was gonna be like this! Just dropped, like an airdrop!” Dan decides to keep the engines on. And why not? He’s got line-of-sight on the package from here. Considering that he’s still got to deliver the thing that’s cost him two ships, two lives, and probably two hours of true gameplay time, he might as well grab-and-go. 30:25 - Having loaded his grabby hands with his “Walter White Stash”, he’s ready for the next leg of this rip-roaring, page turner of an adventure to begin. Briefly, a dark thought cross his mind and lips. The butter-smooth landing of his Herald was actually more awkward than he realized before exiting the vehicle. He considers the possibility that he might not be able to get back in his vehicle. But hope springs eternal and he’s not afraid to show it. “We got a shot at it. You think we don’t but YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE!” (Hell ya Dan, you’re right about that — you gotta believe!) 30:42 - Paranoid about possible unseen threats in on the dark side of the moon near Box Retrieval HQ, he draws his weapon, inadvertently dropping the mission objective in the darkness. 30:59 - Confirming the box is no longer in his grabby hands, a horrified utterance escapes:“We dropped the box - no!” 31:38 - All hope seems lost, but wait... What’s that? Could it be? Saints be praised HE FINDS THE BOX and the adventure of a lifetime begins anew! You GOTTA BELIEVE, indeed! 32:05 - Oh wait, he can’t get the cargo in his ship. He really did park it wrong and the inordinate and only partially documented efforts at attempting to complete his first Cargo game loop, that of a riveting interstellar FED EX mission, ends in a heartbreaking realization: 32:10 - “I think this is probably... we’re stuck in a, in a spot. I hope that someone can come to Cellan and piece together what happened here. Thank you guys so much for watching!” — Postscript: His YouTube description of this exercise in funkilling grinding through fatal bugs, poor choices and adventure-free missions? “Star Citizen 3.0 Gameplay at it's finest!” G0RF fucked around with this message at 07:21 on Dec 5, 2017 |
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Just as I wanted to go to sleep ![]() Thanks G0RF. Hell of a post
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You're wasted here G0rf. Every thought about writing scripts for Squadron 42?
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Combat Theory posted:Just as I wanted to go to sleep Ha! No need to thank me, Combat Theory! I started watching that video back when the view count was below 1000 and while I found it boring and annoying it first, over time Gheesling’s demeanor just won me over with its goofy commitment. So I really felt like it deserved a write-up — partly as examination of the Cargo Mechanic, but also just because the sound bites are so kooky and setbacks so hilarious. So writing it up was its own reward — I laughed and laughed throughout. I only wish I had had the time to drop screencaps in and gifs. But when I get a good couple hours at my machine I will revise. It mostly certainly deserves it. Dogeh posted:You're wasted here G0rf. No way - it’s a privilege being a contributor here. quote:Ever thought about writing scripts for Squadron 42? ![]() G0RF fucked around with this message at 07:15 on Dec 5, 2017 |
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3.0 Jesus Patch posted:Send him a signed battlecruiser T-Shirt & a free lod key. Heck, if the kid is able to extract maximum troll points from his classmate, send him an over-the-top gift, like some new gear. Imagine the grin on the kid's face when he gets to tell the sperg at school the next day that Derek Smart bought him an Xbox or an iPad ![]()
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Krycek posted:Does cig have any sort of actual design document? Even if it's just "do space things" scrawled on a used napkin. They had those in the 90s, didn't they? ![]()
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Lol, it's absolutely unbelievable that people are celebrating this mess of a game. Hell of a write-up tho G0RF e: brainfart
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no_recall posted:Lol, it's absolutely unbelievable that people are celebrating this mess of a game. You’re only saying that because you haven’t had the Butter. quote:Hell of a write-up tho G0RF It is the tale not he who tells it. Dan is the man! Seriously — don’t just read this part, click the link and tell me you aren’t cracking up at his rhapsodic Butter interjections. I was tearing up by the third time I replayed it during transcription. “I’d like — BUTTER!” quote:16:11 - “The more butter, LOOK at all these people! They’re gravitating towards the butter. Open this. We gotta go! LOOK at how good — this is... I’m not gassing you guys up this is 100% 60 fps... or pretty darn close to it.” G0RF fucked around with this message at 07:27 on Dec 5, 2017 |
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G0RF posted:You’re only saying that because you haven’t had the Butter. Yeah I watched it and I simply can't believe his enthusiasm. Well I understand most streamers want to put on a good show, but good God, please play another game.
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All of us are wasted on most of the things we do or care about. ![]()
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no_recall posted:- No mention of how netcode will work, technical aspects of anything dealing with the networking side. Wait, this IS AN MMO, right? If they were ever actually forced to get this working, they'd do things just like Elite does, peer2peer with a central matchmaking service.
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Abuminable posted:Heck, if the kid is able to extract maximum troll points from his classmate, send him an over-the-top gift, like some new gear. Imagine the grin on the kid's face when he gets to tell the sperg at school the next day that Derek Smart bought him an Xbox or an iPad Or even better Uncle D flies to were ever the kid school is and for show n tell Uncle D get's to personally read the 25000 trillion word world renowned july blog to the entire class. ![]()
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G0RF posted:You’re only saying that because you haven’t had the Butter. Paula Dean about to sue someone for copyright infringement.
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G0RF posted:YOUTUBE: Walking In Hyperspace Ships This is my favourite G0rf post of all time, this is tremendous and hilarious.
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trucutru posted:While the cultists are adamant that all the incredible progress they have done on SQ42 has not been released because "spoilers", the truth is that the plot of SQ42 has already been leaked... by CR himself. This looks about as dumb as that supposed klingon ship in the new star trek pilot, the one with a front able to cleave through another starship without losing its cloak, somehow.
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big nipples big life posted:1-6 fps is playable. to be fair, having the ability to admire your jpeg in real time is pretty groundbreaking tech
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3.0 Jesus Patch posted:Or even better Uncle D flies to were ever the kid school is and for show n tell Uncle D get's to personally read the 25000 trillion word world renowned july blog to the entire class. All these spergs, like the little classmate, let it fly on the interwebs, insulting Derek and his crazy goons, calling him everything but the son of God. How quickly they would cower if Dr. D showed up in person.
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Pantsbird posted:
MFW this is shockingly on the mark. ![]()
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Hav posted:Ordinarily I'd agree, but we're invoking the idea that CiG are competent enough to know the law, and not greedy enough to attempt anything cynical like 'massaging the numbers'. I'm not so sure anymore, because I really believe that this is going to end up in the dumbfuck defense. The only problem with that line of thought is when Chris stated a couple of years ago that they had sufficient funds to complete the game. That negates the defense right there. His biggest problem is that he still has his 90's mindset when it comes to what he promises. In the 90's you could waffle on with bullshit and people would forget as time went on and when it came to calling a person on something it was near nigh impossible to find the info. Fast forward to now and everything is recorded in triplicate. One other thing that people seem to be missing, is that legislation and consumer protection is finally catching up to software development. In the past, software developers could wave off buggy software as part of the experience. More governments are saying, "No, your product is not fit for purpose, fix it in a timely manner or refund the purchaser" I can only see consumer protections becoming stronger. Thankyou EA. And I'll leave you with one thing to ponder. I know that Derek has stated that no-one will go to gaol over this, who knows, but have a look at the proofs of Fraud and see how many boxes you can tick. Elements of proof: Any act or omission Including a misrepresentation That knowingly or recklessly misleads, or attempts to mislead A party To obtain a financial or other benefit Or to avoid an obligation
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https://twitter.com/scireimperium/status/937961838469373952 https://twitter.com/Dan10414384/status/937900249498210306 https://twitter.com/RyloKenMusic/status/937890993990385664
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Rugganovich posted:The only problem with that line of thought is when Chris stated a couple of years ago that they had sufficient funds to complete the game. I think the problem is more how do you draw the line between 'fraud' and 'the realities of development'. And how do you do that when most people aren't savvy on video games in general?
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https://twitter.com/TheBeauCanadian/status/937874816387960834 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/206827216?t=50m30s ![]()
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The Titanic posted:Because we did it team! Exactly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN1WN0YMWZU
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The MMO gamer is a weird individual. Forever yearning for the forever game, but never staying with a MMO for more than a few months.
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Colostomy Bag posted:I have yet been able to watch it all the way through. I could start the thing at 7pm and be sound asleep by 7:30. This is the only way I've been able to watch parts of it and not have my brain feel as though it had been sucked out through my ear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEX02907nPY (It's in English, just Russian subs on the video)
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Combat Theory posted:Since it's a nice ans chill Sunday and I am not having any headache or hangover despite yesterdays drinking escalations (spite Yeah, E:D is a much more enjoyable experience in a wing, especially since that fills up that otherwise dull travel time with some potential banter and such.
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Toops posted:Star Citizen Defense Playbook: I think I may have been on the receiving end of all of those. In fact as a rebuttal this very day when someone said this about SC gameplay, quote:I think the far more probable and sad outcome is that as people get to see how the game actually plays they just lose interest and realise it's not worth investing in or caring about anymore. All these grand tales here of how the game will play and what people will do, but it's all the based in imagination. quote:but then Eve has lasted for a decade and it's basically a spreadsheet game with graphics.
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The thing with eve online is, pvp combat has a lot of things going on, but many people never get to that part because they're either too stupid or too lazy to figure it out and then dismiss the whole game as spreadsheets online. In fact it's exactly the kind of game star citizens want, with only slightly shittier gameplay. Tactics you employ in eve-o are the same as in any other space sim, they're just clunkier to execute due to the bad interface, and the difference between a team that mastered flying well and a team that hasn't is often as stark as barely winning in a evenly matched battle vs winning very easily when outnumbered 10:1.
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SomethingJones posted:That is a crock of poo poo and also it is lies. You guys really need to skim reddit and spectrum on occasion. 75% of the topics on that forum are talking about the expensive ships they bought. Its perfectly plausible especially during a sale. This is the biggest part of the sale, all ships are on sale. Citizens wait all year for right this moment to stock up on ships. I know, being wrong is hard. SCtrumpHaters fucked around with this message at 12:51 on Dec 5, 2017 |
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You guys are as shrill as derek about this tracker. Face it, sc brings in lots of money despite your efforts
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What gets me is a lot of people saying the 3.0 they've got now is not the 3.0 that is coming "soon" - ie. the live 3.0 Do they really think there's another build of 3.0 hidden away full of content (worms, procedural birds, pets, missions, mining, bounty hunting and drink waitering) and stability (network & server & FPS improvement, bind culling, and lets make some new buzzwords up - enterprise server deference) I suspect (and will call it here) that the 3.0 release now is it in terms of content, this is what they've spent the last 2 years on since 2.x (or in Game Development years - 6 months, as all times are quartered as we know) Also, and this really gets me, in a game about space combat and space ships the only time i've seen someone on twitch destroy something in 3.0 is when that dude blue up a ship full of crates. Everyone else is flying around, crashing, trying to land, crashing, and driving around a planet before crashing.
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The (main) sale is at over $8 million with about 8 hours left to go.
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# ? Sep 1, 2024 01:34 |
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mrchinchin25 posted:What gets me is a lot of people saying the 3.0 they've got now is not the 3.0 that is coming "soon" - ie. the live 3.0 If you want some arcade shooter go play Elite or COD. This is a sim. Combat is only a small aspect of star citizen's universe.
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