Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic


Xachariah posted:

Oh hey, I only have the right ear implanted too! Here in the UK it's not standard to implant on both ears unless it's considered necessary due to the extra cost, I think the patient being very young or vision impaired makes you eligible. I don't think I'd want to be bilateral personally, would be a whole other device and batteries to have to worry about. Besides music doesn't sound as good unless I wear my normal hearing aid in my other ear.

Yeah I was warned that it might not be effective due to being implanted in an ear which hasn't had much use for a long time, since sometimes the auditory nerve doesn't know how to process the signals anymore, thankfully it worked out very well for me.
In my case my ears are borked such that I'm 100% deaf in both ears, so residual hearing was never a problem. It was more of an experimental thing at the time and I was touted a bit in my state as a successful case (before they unceremoniously abandoned me entirely as soon as I turned 18 ) but yeah, I think age also plays a factor in it.
I agree about not wanting the other one implanted- taking care of just the one is a pain in the rear end. They did make me the offer to get the other ear done when I was in middle school, but I turned it down.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 11, 2012

This particularly rapid unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.





A cousin to the legendary "I adopted her unwanted child and now she's refusing to take up parenthood!" post.

AITA for keeping my parents to their promise to raise my bio child?

quote:

I got pregnant when I was 16. Stupid, I know.

I went to my parents for support, but instead of helping me they tried to talk/guilt me out of an abortion. I did not want to relent, until in the end my mom said they would adopt my baby if I kept it. That I wouldn't have to do anything. I was stupid and believed them.

My daughter Allie was born and from day one they tried to get me to born with her. To get me to breastfeed. They only backed down when I called an actual adoption agency to give her to a willing couple.

At that moment they knew I meant business and started the official adoption procedure.

It was still hard. I was still trying to graduate highschool with a baby that was crying in the house. But, I really put myself to studying.

Then, step two, they tried to convince me to go to a college in my hometown. I made sure I didn't, though I still came back on holidays and weekends sometimes.

Allie really WAS more like my sibling. I was the cooler older sister who came back from college and brought gifts sometimes. I graduated two years ago.

My dream was always to live and work abroad. Covid sort of put a stop to my plans, and I mostly did temp work. But as things are looking up a bit, I might have a prospect to be an ESL teacher abroad.

I'm getting TEFL-certified and and if all goes well I'll be able to do it by 2022. The contract would be for one year, but it can be prolonged, or I could choose another country after that. I'm very excited.

My parents found out abut me getting the certification and they freaked out. They said I can't just leave for a year or more and not see Allie. They also started with the "what if something happens to us".

Thing is...this is sort of the point. This is why I wanted an abortion. Allie is a great kid, but I didn't want my like to end at 16. The whole point of my parents adopting her was so I could live my life.

Now, of course if something tragic was to happen I'd step up. But..my parents are still in good health. There's no reason I could go travel for a few years. They say I won't be able to "bond" with Allie anymore, but if she was my bio sister it would be the same story.

My mom is calling me selfish and so is my best friend...but like, I feel this was the entire point of adoption?

AITA? (I'll provide more info if needed)!

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

He is I, and I am him



pentyne posted:

Man I've heard of a lot of excuses from alcoholics but "you're too good of a BF" is a new one.

Also, no one pounding drinks like that a couple dozen or so times is ever a "recent" problem they just no longer feel the need to hide their drinking.

Yeah, aren't all those times when she's not answering the door/phone when she's blacked out? Possibly from anxiety.

Kenshin
Jan 10, 2007


Arsenic Lupin posted:

A cousin to the legendary "I adopted her unwanted child and now she's refusing to take up parenthood!" post.

AITA for keeping my parents to their promise to raise my bio child?
So her idiot parents were banking on if they kept the kid around she'd bond with it and start wanting to be mommy, which didn't happen, and now they're realizing their 18 year mistake.

Delicious schadefreude

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





Kenshin posted:

So her idiot parents were banking on if they kept the kid around she'd bond with it and start wanting to be mommy, which didn't happen, and now they're realizing their 18 year mistake.

Delicious schadefreude

Except for the poor kid who has to live with 3 parents who didn't want them.

Scaevolus
Apr 16, 2007



ikanreed posted:

Except for the poor kid who has to live with 3 parents who didn't want them.
Biomom's main mistake was not actually going through with the adoption agency, kid would probably be happiest with a couple that wanted her.

Kenshin
Jan 10, 2007


ikanreed posted:

Except for the poor kid who has to live with 3 parents who didn't want them.
That sucks, but is also 100% not the OPs problem to deal with, her parents basically coerced her into letting them adopt the child.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009



AITA for telling my Step-Brother's Wife That She's Likely The Reason Her Son Is Behind?

quote:

My stepbrother(Tom) and his wife(Jane) are probably anti-intellectual. Among other things, they simply don't read. They can read, they just don't. My husband, m brother-in-law, my sister, and I are sort of the opposite--3/4 of us are literally professors of literature.

We had our first post-vaccine family gathering last night and Jane mentioned that their youngest son (7) is really behind in school, particularly in reading. She blamed online school over the past year. I said, "I am sure that's part of the problem, but neither you or Tom care much about reading so it's no wonder 7 doesn't."

Jane got super offended and got up from the table. Tom called me an elitist rear end in a top hat. Dad says I should apologize. I will if I am TA, but honestly I don't see it. Online school did not make 7 unable to read. Having two parents who didn't bother to teach him to read is the problem. So, Reddit, AITA?

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my Step-Brother's Wife That She's Likely The Reason Her Son Is Behind?

They're an rear end in a top hat and they have a point. It can be both things

Bibliotechno Music
Dec 29, 2008



From the last thread, in the pantheon of Disinterested but Meddling dad canon:

quote:

I never thought that she could turn her back on her own child. I honestly thought she would bond during the pregnancy and would eventually change her mind. Even if she turned down my offer to be in a relationship I never thought she would actually abandon him without a thought and without seeing him or even trying to know his name or sex. She was so drugged up during the birth that I don't even think she knows if he was born before or after midnight. I didn't expect it to go like this to be honest.

She is a deadbeat. She doesn't have anything to do with him and has left me to do everything as a single parents. I want to know if I have any legal options to make her help parent the child she helped create.

I want the courts to give her visitation or custody so that I can have a break and she can actually parent her child. I'm not on public assistance because with my job and her support I don't qualify.

Relevant, nu?

Yolo Swaggins Esq
Jan 29, 2015


Ooh I remember that one!
Didn't he keep calling her a deadbeat even though she's been paying 125% child support since birth for some reason?

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

I just couldn't look at your old avatar anymore
Fucking nauseating!


quote:

She is a deadbeat.

I'm not on public assistance because with my job and her support I don't qualify.

Loving the cognitive dissonance that she's some worthless lazy tramp who's giving him too much money for him to qualify for welfare.

Ravenfood
Nov 4, 2011


Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

Ooh I remember that one!
Didn't he keep calling her a deadbeat even though she's been paying 125% child support since birth for some reason?

More than that, but yes.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014



Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

Ooh I remember that one!
Didn't he keep calling her a deadbeat even though she's been paying 125% child support since birth for some reason?

IIRC she made clear she didn't want the kid but he browbeat her into having it anyway, then was all offended she didn't transform into his cheerful housewife afterward

Cloacamazing!
Apr 18, 2018


Uncle Enzo posted:

I personally believe that the preplanned ketchup sales pitch skit is the best relationships post of all time.

"This factory ketchup is boring and weak. Where's the real tomato flavor??"

*throws darts at picture of a Heinz 57 ketchup bottle*
"I'm coming for YOU!"

*making trumpet noises with my mouth*
"THIS IS THE BEST KETCHUP EVER!"

was my favorite part of the story.

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

I'm brOKedn


Slippery Tilde

HMS Beagle posted:

I still want to try that sandwich.

it required ingredients that a sandwich shop would not normally carry

idk about rolling the dice on that and then having them served to you smeared with peanut butter between two slices of wonderbread

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

So pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake
'Cause everything is not yet lost




Pillbug

Uncle Enzo posted:

I personally believe that the preplanned ketchup sales pitch skit is the best relationships post of all time.

"This factory ketchup is boring and weak. Where's the real tomato flavor??"

*throws darts at picture of a Heinz 57 ketchup bottle*
"I'm coming for YOU!"

Please tell me someone has the link.

Tiny Bug Child
Sep 11, 2004

Avoid Symmetry, Allow Complexity, Introduce Terror


a new entry in a classic genre

I'm (28F) repulsed by my husband (36M)

quote:

I fold the laundry and I've recently noticed an uptick in skid marked boxer briefs. One pair I could let go, everyone has had more trust in a fart than it deserved at least once, but it's becoming a weekly thing.... He's also put on quite a bit of weight since marriage, and I realize that's incredibly shallow of me to say... He has always been a bigger guy but he has increased his mass by 33% and is now edging dangerously close to 400 lb territory. I've told him that his hygiene is slipping a bit, you need to brush your teeth in the morning and scrub your butt with a wash cloth. I shouldn't smell any musty rear end or cheese when I get down there. He thinks I'm trying to be funny and just joking around, I don't know how to be more blunt. The sheets on the bed look like I snuggle up with a KFC chicken thigh, no amount of bleaching or soaking in dawn can get the greasy feeling out of his half of the bed linens.

He got a gaming laptop a while back and in a typical day he says 3 words to me and acts annoyed if he has to take off his headphones to hear me. He's transforming into the South park WoW guy before my eyes and I don't know what to do.

I want a loving intimate marriage but the thought of him touching me makes me want to shower cause I know any spit coming from that 3 day unbrushed mouth, the scent is gonna linger on me until I use soap and water. That and he's 6'4 400lbs, I know them 3 minute showers are not long enough to clean sufficiently.

ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.


College Slice

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Please tell me someone has the link.

AITA for not participating in my friends "scheme" to convince a restaurant to buy his ketchup?

quote:

My friend, Zoltar (fake name), has been obsessed with ketchup ever since I met him. He is always trying out different recipes to make his own ketchup and getting me and all our friends to try them. Recently he made "his best ketchup yet". I tried it. It wasn't bad. It was ketchup. Now he has decided he is "finally going to break into the ketchup game."

He is convinced he is going to launch his own ketchup company and grow it to be one of the top providers of ketchup in the US. He literally has a photo of Heinz ketchup on a dartboard. He throws darts at it and mutters things like "I'm coming for YOU".

Anyways he has a scheme he wants me and others to participate in. Essentially it involves us all going to a restaurant, sitting at different tables, and enacting lines from a scene he wrote that will culminate in all of us trying and loving his ketchup and convincing the manager to buy it. He wants us all to memorize lines.

The gist of it is one guy is supposed to call over a waitress and say he likes the french fries, but hates the ketchup. I am supposed to lean over (from another table) and say "Sorry to butt in, hah hah, but I have to agree. I'm tired of this old fashioned, factory produced ketchup. Where's the real tomato flavor?" After a few other people do this, my friend is going to say "You guys won't believe this, but I'm a ketchup chef, and I have a few samples. Would you want to give it a shot?"

At this point everyone is supposed to try the ketchup and act astounded by it and basically all exclaim it is the best ketchup they ever had. I am supposed to stand up on my table and "make a trumpet sound effect" and then yell to the entire restaurant "We have the best ketchup ever made over here! Everyone come on over!"

One of the other people is supposed to get the manager of the place over and we are all supposed to try to convince him or her to buy an order of my friends ketchup. He is going to act "surprised and embarrassed" and try to tell us to "stop putting this poor guy on the spot" in regards to the manager. He then assumes he will make a "huge sale". Then he wants to do this same "operation" at other places in town.

I told him no way am I doing this. I hate public speaking/acting and having attention focused on me, also the idea is just so loving dumb and crazy to me. I told him that straight up. He acted offended and said I am "ruining his dreams."

I am astounded by this but some of my friends agree and think he is showing "hustle" and that we should all help him launch his ketchup business. Aside from his ketchup obsession Zoltar is one of my best friends but it seems our friendship is being ruined. A lot of people are telling me I am a jerk for going against his dream and not helping out.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

So pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake
'Cause everything is not yet lost




Pillbug

He may even be wiping properly, if you’re that big the weight can pinch your intestines nearly closed and cause the kind of breakthrough leakage you see in severely constipated people.


I knew that fact and now you all have to, too.

E:

ibntumart posted:

AITA for not participating in my friends "scheme" to convince a restaurant to buy his ketchup?


You rule, thanks.

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009



Grimey Drawer

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: breakthrough leakage

Involuntary Sparkle
Aug 11, 2004

Chemo-kitties can have “accidents” too!



Tiny Bug Child posted:

a new entry in a classic genre

I'm (28F) repulsed by my husband (36M)

I really want to know of this is one of those, religious woman who married young, things. I can't find the post on Google.

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009



Grimey Drawer

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

I really want to know of this is one of those, religious woman who married young, things. I can't find the post on Google.

Close but not quite: gamer.

quote:

That would work in theory but the video games take up the bulk of his time, he's too busy to be intimate with me these days. I feel like a troll that lives on the front porch that only scurries out to cook dinner and do the laundry.

https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/n54ydj/im_28f_repulsed_by_my_husband_36m/

theflyingexecutive
Apr 22, 2007




Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my Step-Brother's Wife That She's Likely The Reason Her Son Is Behind?

I’m the professor of literature who can’t think of a fake name for the kid.

reignonyourparade
Nov 15, 2012


quote:

I've been pretending I have a secret boyfriend. Shaving my legs, curling my hair, wearing the cute clothes and going on hikes.... I'm just too trustworthy I guess and to be frank he's so wrapped up in his games that he probably wouldn't have noticed I left if I didn't say goodbye.

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

I'm brOKedn


Slippery Tilde


Bigbootybigfoot47
7 days ago

I live in cincinnati, worked in a big production weld shop... The number of dudes that'll spit right on the floor. Come on Keith you know just as well as I do that this job requires us to crawl on the floor. Man up and swallow it or walk your happy rear end over to a spit bottle.


from that to nursing school apparently

hope she finishes out those life changes and moves out

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I just had an epiphany: the internet is useless!





Ultra Carp

Ugly In The Morning posted:

breakthrough leakage

spouse
Nov 10, 2008

When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.



edit: nvm

spouse fucked around with this message at 07:05 on May 5, 2021

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

One Potato to rule them all,
One Potato to find them,
One Potato to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them.





Bread Liar

Motronic posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: breakthrough leakage

r/relationshps: not the kind of breakthrough you were hoping for in your marriage.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

I just couldn't look at your old avatar anymore
Fucking nauseating!


Tiny Bug Child posted:

a new entry in a classic genre

I'm (28F) repulsed by my husband (36M)

From other commenters

quote:

When his alarm went off the next morning I told him that his poo poo would be on the porch by afternoon, we were over and he wasn’t coming back. He was furious and insisted that “something silly like showering shouldn’t end a relationship and put me out on the streets”.

quote:

This literally happened to me. He got up to 500lbs. And he smelled horrible. I tried talking, yelling, screaming, bluntness, health facts, and nothing worked. I left him.

quote:

I went through 7 years with a guy that did sweet F all around the house, my best advice to you is just stop doing poo poo for him.

quote:

Been there, done that, finally came to my senses, and left.

I wasted too many tears hoping things would change.

quote:

Girl, are you me? F32 in a 13 year long relationship. I read a few of your comments, going back to school and being financially dependent on him as well. My exact situation to a T. I left him

quote:

I (24F) was in the exact same situation. I did everything for him (29M) and he'd rather just stay on his computer than do stuff with me, and I slowly turned into his mom and maid more than a girlfriend over the years (we were together for 6)

quote:

I was married for 2 years a few years ago and my ex husband was obsessed with video games. He wouldn’t put effort into sex because he was so consumed by video games. And omg I too have folded so many poo poo stained underwear that belonged too that lazy man. Tbh he would hold in his shits for hours and continue to play his game.

Incels: ALL WOMEN ONLY WANT CHAD GYM-RAT gently caress BOYS

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


Wear dark underwear like normal people. Badabim-badaboom.

perepelki
Dec 11, 2020

know before Whom you stand

poop sock

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011

I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving
And something has got to give


Are you really "holding it in" if it's leaving marks in your underwear? A question for the ages.

Yolo Swaggins Esq
Jan 29, 2015


Armitag3 posted:

Wear dark underwear like normal people. Badabim-badaboom.

Nah you want something like those hotel lobby/pub carpets or bus seat fabric patterns that hide the grime and stains.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

So pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake
'Cause everything is not yet lost




Pillbug

Antivehicular posted:

Are you really "holding it in" if it's leaving marks in your underwear? A question for the ages.

Is a dam still holding back a river if it has spillways?

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


The hand that feeds must be the most delicious meal.

AITA for not supporting my roommate financially for breaking my fast as a 'joke'?

quote:

english isn't my first language so sorry in advance, also throwaway cause we are friends with my other roommate on my normal account, also english isn't my first language



So for context; i(19M) live in a 3+1 house with 2 other roommates as i'm going to college. I have some savings so i pay most of the rent for one of my roommates P(21).

So onto the story, I am Muslim and i do fast during Ramadan, I also do the cooking in the house. On Saturday, I was cooking the dishes as i always did and i asked my roommate P what's the time, and he purposefully told me the time was 10 mins later than it actually was, so assuming i could open my fast, i tasted the shrimp i was cooking cause they were P's fav and i wanted to do something for him



After that he bursts into laughter, telling me the real-time and laughing with a huh gotcha face. I got mad told him he could finish making dinner and from now on pay his own rent. I do think not helping him with rent when he is struggling financially might be an AH move tho, so Reddit AITA for no longer wanting to help my friend after he pulled a cruel joke on me?

Electric Wrigglies
Feb 6, 2015



Soylent Pudding posted:

The hand that feeds must be the most delicious meal.

AITA for not supporting my roommate financially for breaking my fast as a 'joke'?

Prank humor without forethought strikes again! Generally old mate would be able to / have to write that day off and fast another day at the end to make up for this lost day.
If prankster wanted to make up for it he could do a full day of fasting by way of apology and show intent to understanding how tough it is not to drink or eat for the full day.

Dik Hz
Feb 22, 2004

Fun with Science



Bug Squash posted:

Hold up.

Are you telling me there's a trans story about someone getting cyberpunked into becoming an attack helicopter, and hopefully proceeding to strafe the gently caress out a motorcade of TERFs?

That sounds incredible.
Isn't this the plot of that 1990s Michael Jackson video?

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for asking my husband to wash his hands after he poops?

quote:

This morning, my husband (31M) pooped, as we all do. He came out of the bathroom after just rinsing his hands with water for about two seconds. I asked him if he'd used soap, he said no. I told him that was gross and he needed to go wash his hands with soap. He said, in an irritated voice, he was about to take our dog on a walk and have to pick up poop anyway, so it didn't matter. I asked if he usually used soap, and he got aggravated and said yes...which I'm not sure I believe at this point, frankly.

Then he was walking around the house, touching doorknobs, so I asked him again, more firmly, to go and wash his hands before he got poop everywhere. He ignored me. I asked again a third time and said "I'm serious, you need to go wash your hands before you touch everything in the house. I don't want to get norovirus."

He finally did, very frustrated about it, acting like I was being silly for asking. I confronted him about that and he said I was being very rude. I told him it was rude for him to put my health at risk like that. He's a doctor, and he said, "I am in no way putting your health at risk."

I asked him if he could hear himself right now, and he said "I don't think you hear yourself right now." We agreed to put a pin in it and discuss again later.

AITA for asking my husband repeatedly to wash his hands? I feel ridiculous asking this but he clearly thinks I'm being an rear end in a top hat. I don't think my tone was really aggressive, although it was definitely quite insistent. I'm sure he thinks it's nbd since he's taking the dog out anyway, but it's a big deal to me. Maybe I'm overreacting. But I'm emetophobic (terrified of vomit) and I can't live in a house with someone who does this.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Lt. Danger
Dec 22, 2006

jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun



I am always in favour of more hygiene but, uh, how are these people wiping that they end up with poo poo on their hands?

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply