chitoryu12 posted:

Never a wrong time for this song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTsdKycVZZ4

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA If I "warned" my current coworkers about our new (problematic) employee whom I have worked with before?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for going on a week long vacation by myself without my wife of 11 years after my cat died?

quote:

titles either massively overstate things

"AITA for slapping my son because he was being an idiot?"

So my 3yo started choking on a grape and I had to knock him on the back to dislodge it -- now he's crying. AITA?


or massively understate things

"AITA for buying my wife a pair of nice shoes for her birthday?"

All her life my wife has been a 'tomboy' -- e.g. the only time I've seen her in a dress was our wedding day. She says she prefers flat shoes because they're "more comfortable" but I've seen my mistress secretary wear heels every day for the past twenty years, so I think she's just saying that because she's insecure about getting older. Anyway yesterday was her 22nd birthday (I'm 57) so I decided to surprise her by throwing all her old shoes in the trash and replacing them with a big collection of Pleasers in a variety of colours (so they'll go with any outfit, I'm considerate like that).

Instead of saying thank you, she started crying hysterically and claimed I "don't respect her" and am "trying to make her into someone she's not" and that she's "not a loving stripper, Gerald" -- I calmly and politely told her that there's nothing wrong with being a stripper, and that many of my close female friends are in the sex industry.

She then said she was going to stay with her mother for the week because she couldn't stand to look at me, which seems unfair as I've had to put up with looking at her fugly cankles everyday for the past 10 years we've been together. AITA?

quote:

Wife is 22 and they've been together for the past 10 years. Yep, sounds like Reddit

quote:

My wife and I have two daughters. Rachel (25) and Lydia (22). Rachel is an Economics graduate and works in finance in the city, and due to the current situation is working from home. Lydia is a supermarket home delivery driver and is still going to work.

When she's not doing work Rachel has been passing the time by trying on all her nice clothes and putting pictures on instagram, as well as uploading little video snippets of her life at home.

Unfortunately another new hobby she's found is winding up her sister. Just stupid things like changing the channel while she's watching TV and things like that.

Lydia worked a long shift yesterday and stayed several hours longer than she was meant to. She came home very tired and was straight back to work in the morning. She was having breakfast when Rachel walked in and started making jokes about it being Lydia's ''feeding time'' and saying she bets Lydia wishes she'd studied to get ''a real job''. Lydia got annoyed and threw her milk and cereal over her.

Rachel was wearing a very nice blouse, and started crying when Lydia threw the food.

That blouse was fairly expensive (in the high hundreds) and we're not sure if dry cleaning will remove the milk stains completely. I insisted that Lydia pay for Rachel's dry cleaning and if the blouse is ruined a new top. Rachel spent her hard earned money on nice clothes so it wasn't fair for Lydia to do that.

While Lydia doesn't earn as much as Rachel does, neither of the girls pay rent and she saves her money very well, so she should be able to replace it easily if the situation comes to that.

Lydia was fuming when she went to work and was still angry when she came home. She said we should stop siding with ''precious Rachel'' and let her clean up her own messes for once.

I understand why Lydia is angry and I know Rachel behaved really badly, but at the end of the day its not fair for her having to pay for someone else ruining her clothes which she spent her hard earned money on.

Have we done the right thing?

rain dogs posted:

I'll reserve judgment until we find out if his brother went as swastika Manson or not

quote:

Hello! I figured I'd post here because my friend group is split on this one. For a bit of context, I (21f) have some sort of condition where flexing certain fingers is painful. It can get to the point where my finger "locks" and doesn't move. Most notably, whenever my finger bends there's a loud pop followed by pain. I've been looking into this for years, and no one seems to know what to do besides putting it in a splint and hoping.

I finally got a call from my doctor that she got me a referral for a plastic surgeon that specializes in hand/feet and I'm extremely excited. Basically the procedure that's going to be done is similar to botox, where they try to stiffen the finger to prevent my tendon from snapping.

I told a few of my close friends about the procedure. I guess one of their girlfriends overheard that I was getting botox and misunderstood. She started messaging me how beautiful I was and that I shouldn't mess with my natural beauty. I was offended because she kept making the comments, even after I told her to stop.

Everytime she saw me she would mention it, or bring up how important it is to be yourself in this "plastic" world.

We were on a large group call the other day to hang out, and she made a comment to me in front of our friends saying "not everyone has mommy pay for botox." I. Was. Pissed.

My parents are not paying for any part of the procedure, it's covered by my country's healthcare. I asked her where she thought I was getting botox and she replied that it was obviously a facial surgery.

I went off on her. I told her about my health issues and how the procedure gave me so much hope that maybe I could literally hold a pencil without pain. I told her she was being judgemental and that she had NO RIGHT to judge me, even if my surgery was cosmetic. I told her to get off her high horse and reevaluate herself before trying to shame other people. I also called her a judgey b**** at one point. She ended up logging off the call. The call got really awkward, and we ended up just hanging up a few minutes after.

She messaged me later saying she felt alienated from the group and that I didn't have to call her out in public like that, I could have told her privately. She also blamed me for not telling her the surgery was medical earlier, leading to this misunderstanding. I don't think she was entitled to any information, and even it it was cosmetic, she had no right to act like she did.

Her boyfriend and one of my mutual friends thinks she's right, and I should have corrected her in private. I could be TA because I did kind of make the call awkward for everyone, instead of laughing her joke off and correcting her later.

*EDITED TO ADD

A few bits of information I realized I left out when seeing comments

Why were you so offended by her natural beauty comment? These were passive aggressive statements and not compliments. She would send me links to opinion forums or blogs about "gods natural beauty" and told me I was ruining myself.

Why didn't you just tell her? Honestly? I told her it was not cosmetic and she refused to back down until she had every detail. She claimed it was an excuse if I wouldn't elaborate. I don't think she's entitled to know my medical history, especially when I don't really know her.

Why did you get so mad? I kind of downplayed my condition. Not everyone in that call knew about it because honestly? It can be embarrassing. I know it's something I can't control but it still hurts when I have really bad days and need someone to help feed me or I just drink soup out of a straw. It sucks when you know your hair is matted but you can't pick up a hairbrush to untangle it. I didn't want people to treat me differently. Most of them knew I had some problem with my hands because I sometimes have to use voice to text when taking notes.

quote:

Throwaway because I don't want this on my main.

I'm 40M my fiancee Cara is 37 her daughter Kim is 16. Kim's dad died when she was 6, Cara and I met when Kim was 10 but I didn't meet Kim until we were together over a year and knew things were serious. My relationship with Kim isn't parental but we get along without fuss most of the time. I feel more like an uncle figure than a parental figure.

Cara's mother was just in a major car accident, and she couldn't bring Kim due to her online school schedule. Kim had friends over without permission the last time she was left alone for a few days, so Cara asked if she could stay with me for the next few weeks (she doesn't have a firm return date yet) and I agreed.

I bought a house a few years ago and finished the renovations and remodel last fall. I got it cheap because a murder occurred here, over a decade ago by now and no one touched it till I fixed it up. It's not like there was blood or anything anywhere, and the way I see it someone probably died in most houses and buildings that exist. It sucks but death is everywhere.

Kim has been staying with me since Saturday, and she even seemed excited when I gave her the grand tour. I showed her the basement hangout, and said she could have a friend or two over if she wanted so they could have some fun. I know she's worried about her grandma after all. I even showed Kim the room I put together for her, which made her cry cuz she must have thought she'd just be in a guest room. I wanted her to feel at home because this would be her home when she and her mother move in.

Things were going great until I found Kim crying in the kitchen this morning. She went for a walk when she woke up, and upon chatting with a neighbor down the street learned about the murder that happened here. The neighbor was very descriptive and told her far more details than I knew, and Kim asked why I didn't tell her. I was honest and told her that I know a major crime happened, but it was over a decade ago by now. It's not that I don't care, but the price of this house was too good to pass up, no way I could have afforded a house this nice and this big under normal circumstances.

Kim demanded that I sell the house because she doesn't want to live here when she and Cara move in with me. I told her that's not happening.

Cara is too preoccupied with her mom to deal with this right now, but Kim is at my throat. Kim thinks I'm cruel for not caring enough about her to sell my house, and when I told her that I care about her and even made sure she has her own room, she snapped and said that I just don't get it. Am I an rear end in a top hat for not having an issue living here?

Agrikk posted:

E: can you please link the dangerous chemistry thread?

Xachariah posted:

Totally, I can't stand people who believe everyone has the same taste in what is attractive and sexy.

Seems mom missed an important life lesson there. If you change yourself to make other people like you... Well they won't ever really like you, will they? They'd just like the person you pretend to be. No matter what you do or how you look there are people who love you for being yourself.

quote:

I F23 have been wheelchair bound for over a year. My life changed eversince I started using the wheelchair. I used to feel useless but my husband supports me all the time. I recently went back to college (studying online) after stopping for an entire year. We used to live in an apartment. My husband managed (with the help of his family) to buy a small house. We have 2bedrooms in total. One downstairs and the other is upstairs. Our bedroom is downstairs so I could move freely in my wheelchair. The bathroom and kitchen are accessable as well.

The problem is that my Brother in law's house had an accidental fire and it burned down. He and his family have been staying with family members but not for long since they all live in apartments and my BIL has 3 kids.

My husband said BIL and his family were coming to stay with us for a month since it was our turn to take them in. They arrived and my BIL and wife were acting strange for few days. Their kids'd go into our bedroom and stay there.

My husband told me BIL and his wife said the upstairs room is too small for them and their kids and asked him if they could switch rooms since our bedroom is bigger. I was shocked. I told him I need the space for mobility and I can't climb the stairs to reach the other room. It's not logical. My husband said it didn't feel fair that 5members were stuck in a tiny room while it's just 2of us in a big room. We argued then we stopped.

Yesterday my sister dropped me off after visiting my parents. And when I entered our house I was stunned to see our stuff was moved out the room and was being moved upstairs. I asked my husband. He looked apologitic saying he couldn't stand to see his brother and the kids uncomfortable so he let them take our bedroom. He reassured me He'd take care of getting me up and downstairs and said the staircase is short so it won't be hard. I yelled at him after that and called him unbelieveble. He lashed back and reminded me that his family helped us buy this house and his mother called to shame him for the kids' suffering in a small room. He went on about his brother struggling and asked me to put myself in his place and imagine if our house burned. Would I still complain about the upstairs room.

I was so mad at him. My BIL's wife tried to talk to me basically justifying why she and BIL pressured my husband to give them the room and called my sister to take me to my parents house. My husband talked to mom and he was upset that she said he was wrong to do this to me. He said I should've talked to him instead of talking to my mom.

quote:

So, I(16F) live with my dad. My parents divorced seven years back, but my dad started dating this very nice woman we'll call Suzy two years ago. Suzy's nice honestly, so when they got engaged earlier this month I was happy for them.

Yesterday, Dad was giving her a tour of the house, since she and her son(17M) will be moving in once they're married. Everything went well until they got to my room. I'm a big nerd, and there's a lot of character stuff in my room. I've got posters, Funko Pops, some statues, and even a couple of autographs I saved up for. And Suzy had a little issue with it.

See, two of the characters I have the most things for are Captain Marvel and Rey. And apparently Suzy's son is a 'recovering incel'. And she said that while he's doing really well, Brie Larson and Daisy Ridley (and their most famous characters) are still very big triggers for him. So she asked me to take all the stuff related to them down, and put it in storage. I told her I'd think about it, and both she and my dad were rather disappointed with me for not just saying yes.

Here's where I think I might be the rear end in a top hat. It's not like my room is a shrine to just those two. I have plenty of stuff. So I could take it down, and it wouldn't mean my room would look empty or blank. I'd just have weird spaces on my walls and shelves now. And if he's trying to get better I don't want to do things that'd upset him. So I could take them down, and I wouldn't lose much and I could potentially help my future step-brother.

...but I don't want to. Does that make me the rear end in a top hat?

quote:

I mean, I'm not happy about it, but my dad and Suzy say there shouldn't be any problems between us so...I don't know, I haven't met him, my dad keeps pushing it off.

quote:

My dad said it would be best to introduce us when I was already 'off limits' which...yeah I'm not happy about, but my mom's in another state for work so I'm reluctant to raise a fuss and ask her to let me move in just cause I'm worried but before anything's happened. We're close, I love my mom, but it feels drastic.

please knock Mom! posted:

Recovering incel. Christ. Run.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Maybe the OP assumed their meals were seasoned well because they had never had a complaint and because the recipes came from a book and therefore had to have been good enough to put into print [in the OP's mind].

teen witch posted:

this might be my favorite one in a long time


Bother is radicalized and hijacking my money he owes. Can pay but won't


E: I’m 4.5 ether beings FYI.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtH7sgn5af4

Evil Willow posted:

My (28F) uncle (49M) is fixated on the idea of my husband (28M) having a mistress and getting him to say he would leave me if his mistress was pregnant.

quote:

So to give you a little bit of a rundown, I live in the country side. Surrounded by fields and such. Like a farm type set up.

There's the main house where I live, and a house at the back of the property were my brother lives.

He goes fishing most weeks. For varying amount of times. So before he goes fishing, he tells me to look after his ducks, feed them and put them to bed.

So he tells me, can you put my ducks to bed on Monday and Tuesday. Which I say yeah no worries bro. I put his ducks to bed on Monday. No problem.

Put his ducks to bed on Tuesday. Took me a while in torrential rain and wind. But no problem. Ducks are sorted all good.

And here's where the problem arises ladies and gentlemen.

So Wednesday comes along. I don't put his ducks to bed. Because he didn't ask me to. He specified Monday and Tuesday.

Thursday morning, he returns from his fishing trip. To find his favourite duck. Ripped to shreds in his garden by a fox.

He then proceeds to ring me up and get very aggressive and telling me to go F myself and all these other things.

He didn't tell me to put his duck to bed on Wednesday. So I didn't. It then gets eaten and he blames me for it.

(He didn't check with me, no text, or phone call asking if I did it)

I don't think it's my fault. I put the ducks to bed on the days he told me. Had he told me to do it Wednesday aswell. I would of.

He won't admit responsibility either. So now we are both at a stalemate and aren't talking to each other.

He sees me as a duck killer, and I think he's an irresponsible idiot.

I haven't spoken to him in over a week at this point.

AITA?

quote:

Ask me for more details if needed.

I ran with an artsy crowd in high school and we've all stayed pretty close as adults. There is one woman in the group who I have never liked. She's super new age-y and shames people for going to doctors or taking medications. She's been this way for the entire 20ish years I've known her. She also appropriates a lot of my culture (First Nations/ Native American), no matter how many times I explain to her how offensive and insensitive it is.

She called me a couple of weeks ago to let me know that her daughter has been diagnosed with cancer and asked me to recommend some traditional healing techniques. I said you can't cure cancer with traditional medicine, take her to a loving doctor. A few days later a go fund me for her started going around. My heart dropped when I saw her name because we live in Canada so there are no medical expenses for the kind of treatment her daughter needs. Sure enough, the gfm is for enough money so that she can take a year off to live in the woods with some "traditional healers and shamans" (all white, of course) so they can cure her daughter's cancer naturally. It lists the herbs and roots and foods that they would need to "dissolve" the tumor. It starts with an all caps paragraph saying not to bother trying to change her mind about the method of treatment because she knows what's best for her family.

I've talked to my friends about this and they all said they tried to talk to her but she won't listen. I've been trying to decide what to do, I'm absolutely sick to my stomach every time I think about it. Call child services? Try to talk to her? Kidnap her child?

I ran into her yesterday while walking my dog. She asked me if I had donated yet and I said no and that I absolutely would not. I told her that it was incredibly irresponsible and dangerous. We had a very heated argument and she said that I should still donate because she's not changing her mind and her daughter will have a better chance with my donation. I told her that I will donate to her daughter's funeral costs instead, because that's where this will take her. She started crying and left, and I've been getting calls and texts and FB messages ever since telling me that I went too far and I've ruined any chance anyone might have had of talking sense into her because now she's even more determined.

I know that arguing with her was pointless, and that it's especially unhelpful from me because we've never gotten along. But all I could think about was if her kid dies, will I look back on this moment and wonder if I could have said something to help her? But now I'm wondering if I said too much and pushed her further down this absolute batshit path like my friends are saying. Did I go too far?

quote:

My daughter Rose (9) is a very advanced reader. She’s in 3rd grade (8-9 year olds) but reads at a 9th grade (14-15 years old) level.

Despite her advanced reading level, the only books she wants to read are the I Survived series and the A-Z mysteries. Both of these books are far below her reading level so I told her it’s fine if she wants to read them in school but at home she has to read things closer to her level.

I’ve taken her to bookstores and we’ve looked through the young adult section but she refuses to read any of the books. She says they’re all boring and gross. She always asks to get books from the children’s section but I’ve said no because they’re too easy for her.

Rose has started sneaking books home from school and when I started taking those away, she stopped reading in general. Now Rose has pulled away from me and her teacher is recommending that I let her read whatever she wants.

Rose’s dad (my ex) found out about this and tore into me for not letting Rose read books for kids her age and offered to send her books but that’s not the problem. I don’t have a problem with Rose reading but if she’s going to read, she should read something close to her level.

Now everyone’s mad at me so I wanted to know if I was the rear end in a top hat.

Khanstant posted:

I'm sorry to bring this back up and it'll be worth the probe but frosting loving sucks, easily the worst part of cake to eat. Although it's role as a kind of moisture-seal for the good part of cake (the cake part) is appreciated.

ikanreed posted:

There's two answers here.

One is "No"

The other is "hell no"

GlyphGryph posted:

I do not understand people at all.

rain dogs posted:

Except for the fact they've already had two done

quote:

My older brother (30M) went to university and then worked in the city as an accountant, I (27M) stated to work for my dad as a plumber at 15 and went to college to get my qualifications in plumbing and gas, about the time covid started my brother moved back from the city and started working for my dad (55M) in accounting, my dad has been unwell for the last 4 years due to asbestosis it has been really hard on the family and he is getting worse but is still loving life.

I have been running the business for the last 2 years we have expanded and now have 50 vans in the fleet and one qualified and one trainee allocated to each van, covid was hard in the beginning but we have bounced back, my dad still works on tools with me on Fridays (half day then back to my place for some beers), Friday is the only day I’m on tools now as I’m doing everything to run the business.

well last month he told the family he is stepping down from the business due to health and wants to spend more time with my mother, and is giving the business to my brother and for me to step down from acting CEO, this upset me iv been with the business for 12 years, at the beginning it was only me and my dad my brother never wanted to be in the business said it was not worth his time and now he’s the boss, and iv been dumped back to a heating engineer with a £20,000 pay cut, he doesn’t have any clue what we do or how to do it.

I spoke to my dad and he told me that my brother deserve it for all he has done, that he has a family and I don’t and that he went to uni , a lot of the workers are upset about the decision and have told me they will go where I go.

I told my dad that if that is how he feels then I will leave and start my own business I have not spoke to my dad or brother since and have told them to never contact me, for the last month Iv had thousands of calls and messages from family saying some very hurtful things and telling me I’m ungrateful for what I have so AITA???

quote:

EDIT I want to say thank you to everyone for your kind words there are so many to reply to I will do my best to thank you all, to hear my father tell me in his own way he doesn’t think I’m good enough was hard and for my family to take his and my brother side was even harder.

In the morning I will contact the large clients iv worked with over the last 6 years I know we had some site postponed due to covid (big money), and will try and take them over I have 20 of my colleagues wishing to come work for me iv saved nearly all of the money I have earned over the last 12 years so think I have enough to get myself on my feet.

quote:

Update I want to inform everyone that I’m not starting a business to destroy my brother, as much as I want to iv spent almost 13 year build it and I don’t want to see anyone out of a job or for the business to die it’s about 0500 in England you have all helped me so much.

I will be going over to talk to my father about 0800 and take him out for breakfast and talk, I’m not sure if I will get a proper answer from him but I love my family and want my future kids to know them.

I will update after the events of later today.

quote:

Upvoted 2: as I said in one of the comments I believe my family had found my post and they did.

This morning when I arrived at my parents house my mum opened the door and looked like she had been cry a lot my dad came over to talk to me and we went out for breakfast, he didn’t say a word on the way there or when we arrived, when on the way back he asked if we could pull over and talk I can honestly say this was the first tile I saw my dad cry, I asked why he did this to me he said doesn’t know I keeper pushing and he finally told me he owed it to my brother for not being about for him as much as me when we were growing up and there was times my brother needed him but we was working.

I couldn’t believe it after 12 years of hard work that was his reasoning I told me father I had spent half my life working to do everything for the business and how he throw me to the side just because he’s son came back hurt more then I could explain, he told me he knows as they had been shown the post I put up, to my surprise he wasn’t mad he seemed remorseful, he told me my mother has been in pieces after reading the comments about how bad she treated me and thinks I will never talk to them again, my dad told me after reading it all he released he should have split the business between us as it will need both of us to keep progressing and apologies to me for never telling me how proud he was of everything I had done and thought I know how proud he was, but my brother has full control my father has no say any more and my brother would never go 50/50, he told me he wants me to go back as my brother will need me I told him that’s not my problem anymore after the demoted me and cut my pay I tried to make it work for 3 weeks but my brother wouldn’t listen didn’t believe I know what I was talking about telling me he knows how to fun a business, so I left why work my rear end off there when I could do the same work and make more money for my self.

My dad broke down said that he had destroyed the family and should never had done what he did I don’t understand why I took this long to release I was a valuable piece in the company.

quote:

Update 3: as I said I have had a couple of zoom calls with some clients today and they have gone very well, I have been informed that they we all be sending be signed proposal letters for the up and coming work, lucky the site start dates don’t clash that was one of the main things I was worried about, 3 of my colleagues have now left the business and have spoken to my dad informing him about why they left and that they will be coming to work with me under there own choice, to hear them tell me this meant a lot, they all have between 5 - 10 year more experience in the industry, at the moment I have all we need to start a new business with the 3 vans I own and tools I have built up over the years, I am looking forward to the new venture in my life and can’t wait to share this with my children when I have them.

Then I received a call from my father asking me to come over for dinner I was unsure at first but thought it was probably a step in the right direction, on arrival my whole family was there, I went in and the atmosphere dropped my mum wouldn’t look at me and my brother just sat there acting as if I didn’t exist, my dad came and asked me and my brother to come in to his office, he started to ask when I was going to return to the company as they need me in early Monday morning, I could not even believe what I was hearing I told them both I’m not coming back and have started my own company, and what dose he mean we you gave the business to him (my brother), my brother stated to lose his temper telling me if I cared about to company why would I leave, I have some very choice words before telling him that I have always cared for the company and spent 12 years of my life working to make it successful, unlike him who swans in and takes all the glory and that i will not sit there and be treated like that, I told my brother to f**k off so I could talk to dad, I asked what was this morning all about telling me he’s sorry but then expects me to going running back, he couldn’t even look me in the eye so I left said goodbye to my cousin, nieces and nephews and walked out iv been riding for about 3 hours on and off coming back on here to talk to people.

I just want to say thank you to everyone for the personal message, comments, rewards and all the kind words and encouragement I’ll try and message everyone but I’m exhausted and will most likely fall asleep.

Nebrilos posted:

But if he was expecting his sons to have an equal, non-dramatic relationship, then why did he set up a one-sided power dynamic by giving all of the ownership to one son?

quote:

In May 2018 my husband "M" and I moved in with my little sister "L" and her friend "R." They were already renting but needed new roommates. M & I needed to find a place. The house was a walk to my work so we moved in. It was a house with affordable rent in one of the most expensive cities in North America. It needed a lot of work but M (with a little help from us) turned it into a badass place.

L and I don't always agree. She can get mean which puts her and M at odds. She hates that M and I follow "gender norms" so when he gets protective, she gets nastier. That said, L and I are very close. We went through some serious poo poo together as kids and we've always had this intense bond.

In Sep 2019, we were on a trip for L's bday. We got into it. She blew up telling M & I that we couldn't live there, needed to find a new place, and to consider this our eviction. R went to calm her down and when they came out L apologized. She said we didn't need to leave by Oct 1 but it wasn't working. She reiterated that we would need to leave because she wanted to keep her house.

Early Nov, an apartment in our area came up. The day we signed papers, we gave notice to L&R for Dec 31. R took it in stride but L got really upset. She freaked out that they couldn't afford the place without us and we were screwing them by leaving.

The next day L&R came to the conclusion that finding a roommate was too risky. M & I tried to pursuade them to stay, put up roommate ads to help, and told them they shouldn't make any decisions. We encouraged them to look until the end of the month and only give notice if they didn't find someone. By the end of the week, L&R had signed a lease in an apartment for Dec 1.

M & I had decided to keep the house. We ate the cost of the rent at the apartment and gave our notice before we even moved in. It's a big enough house for future kids and it meant that we could all still hang out there. When L found out, she went berzerk. She accused me of masterminding a plan to steal her house from her. She told me I betrayed her and left her with nowhere to go. She said it was our fault she had to pay rent at two places in Dec.

I never wanted to hurt my sister. It just seemed logical. Someone should keep it. It was a one in a million find. There was no malicious intent but I apologized anyway since she was hurt.

It tooks us months before we were okay again. She continued to make it clear that she felt we had done something wrong. She constantly had snide remarks about my husband and our house. Eventually I got fed up and asked her what I needed to do to fix it. She said we could move past it but it would always be a sore spot and things got better.

Fast forward a year and a half, every time we have any sort of disagreement she gets personal, throws in a jab about my stereotypical marriage, and follows it up with bitterness about the house. Am I actually the rear end in a top hat? Should I have just let the house go and moved into the apartment?

quote:

At that time, L&R were earning more than M & I. They could have afforded it! We also got a roommate and we found her with no trouble at all.

(Sadly, the pandemic screwed us so we don't have the house anymore either which means she's mad about a house that none of us have.)

packetmantis posted:

Guessing by "she hates us for following gender norms" she means "I made a bunch of snide comments about her and her '''''friend''''' R and I just don't understand why they can't accept that some people have different opinions!"

quote:

She's heterosexual! She's just single. I'm actually bi; I just happened to end up with a man. The gender norms issue with our marriage never came up in the 8 years of our relationship prior to living with them. It seems tied solely to the fact that while living together I did most of the cleaning/cooking because in her eyes he refused to do it. She says it's "anti-feminist" because I did most of the traditionally female tasks and he did traditional male tasks.

First off, I actually enjoy cooking! Secondly, our parents never taught us handy skills so I was contributing with the skills I did have. And finally, my husband was working 60+ hours a week while I was working 40. It's hard to cook dinner if you aren't home until 11pm! Now that he's home a lot more, he does a higher percentage of the household chores and has started showing me how to fix things as he does it. We'll probably always fall into those gender norms of me cooking and him fixing though because we're happy that way.

quote:

I try to give all details you maybe need, feel free to ask questions. All names are changed.

I (32M) born from my mother "Clara"'s (57) infidelity, she is married to Greg.

I have 4 siblings(A-36F,B-34F,C-26F,D-24F).

My Grandparents have raised me, because Greg refused to raise another man's Child and there was no paternity Test needed, because I was a Mixed child, so my Father has to be Black(I never met him don't even knew his Name).

My Grandma was an American-Italian Housewife, she was clearly my Caretaker and for me my only Mama, Grandpa was a very strict but also caring man and is/was always an Idol to me.

Both My Grandparents were furious to my Mother, not only because of her cheating, but because she abounded me.

This situation led to my grandparents decision to make me the only one who inherit almost everything.

My Grandma died with 64 from a heart attack and grandpa died with 71 lung cancer.

Grandpa had a life insurance, I was the only beneficiary almost 300k$, I got the house I was raised in marked value ~280k$ and last grandpa created a Family fund with 400k$, I had to manage it.

The Rules for this fund are Simple, I can use it only for Emergency (Health, crises like now) and only for me and my half Siblings. Clara and Greg are not included in this fund.

Until now, I have paid for A's IVF for her fertility issues (nearly 40k$, her health insurance hasn't covered it) and C's Appendix removal (15K$, health insurance has covered a great part ).

So far no Problems.

But D Plans to have Plastic surgerys, a whole package of it, Breast, Nose ,Hips and more (It would erase nearly the half what is left in the fund).

I refused because it is not an Emergency. I would be ok with paying for Plastic Surgery if IT IS NEEDED, example if an accident happened, but she just wants her makeover for her Boyfriend.

Of course, we had an Argument which was not so pretty, and they threaten to Sue me. They had sued me before, but grandpa had made sure everything is totally fine.

So AITA, if I stand on my Feet?

Splicer posted:

What tools???

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Interesting that SIL is apparently getting in trouble at work over it too. Could be sexism, but I imagine there's possibly some professional respect between chefs of different cooking styles- after all, you don't want to underestimate the competition. Also, plenty of chefs learn more than one style, I wager.

rotinaj posted:

It would have been funny to start poo poo-talking her French food, make jokes about her eating slugs and earthworms because she was too dumb to get snails, or to say "I don't come down to Jacque's Ratatouille Shaque and slap the guillotine out of your hands to tell you how it's done". But yeah, sounds like the sister finally got what she had coming.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

quote:

EDIT3/UPDATE2: Was considering removing but I just got a voicemail from my FIL that "[my] presence was only being tolerated up until this point" and threatened a "world of hurt" if I didn't delete this post. Officially going to keep this post up and if you're still reading this Doug - I'm very disappointed in you, you're better than this. Will also continue to update and thanks again for all your support folks

ilmucche posted:

What are those acronyms?

DemoneeHo posted:

They stand for BOHFOH deez nuts

kimbo305 posted:

Should have done the most Chinese thing possible and asked to compare salaries.