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PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."


help? my basement is full of rats. i go down there to smash em with my Cold Iron Warhammer (in case any are faeblooded) and the stench is unbearable but i don't seem to have leveled up yet. i havent noticed any new spell like abilities manifest and my hitpoint total is still woefully low. ive dug through the corpses and theyre not dropping any coins either so i can't even pay for training? what gives.

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Heather Papps


hello internet friend




i don't think you clicked autolevel. on the bright side you're gonna be sitting on a bunch of unspent exp and will likely jump from lvl 1 to somewhere around 7?


https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FatBossyGrouper-mobile.webm
tyvm hbag and ten thousand blessings upon vanisher. an embarrassment of riches

Nosfereefer



have you talked w/ the wizened old man yet?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Nosfereefer



p ure you have to b4 the tutorial lets u actually level up

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Nosfereefer



sometimes he wont show up until the next day if you spend too long on the previous parts (like the toilet training, gently caress that)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."


Heather Papps posted:

i don't think you clicked autolevel. on the bright side you're gonna be sitting on a bunch of unspent exp and will likely jump from lvl 1 to somewhere around 7?

oh oh cool, where's that button? is it in my living room? im in the library

Nosfereefer posted:

have you talked w/ the wizened old man yet?

no, he... he went out for smokes...

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




Nosfereefer posted:

p ure you have to b4 the tutorial lets u actually level up

ah poo poo i forgot you can't even access options till you leave the tutorial. i'm at the fighting bats in the attic stage of my quest so sometimes i forget what it's like, to be in the basement, fighting rats with an icehammer, (i'm fighting bats with a firedagger)


https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FatBossyGrouper-mobile.webm
tyvm hbag and ten thousand blessings upon vanisher. an embarrassment of riches

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.


You need to visit the High Council of your Order, who will certify your advancement. You remembered to have your experience transcripts notarized by your quest-giver, right?

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Have you been skinning the rats?

FutonForensic



you can only level up after a Long Rest. if you are not leveled up after Resting, you did not Rest Long enough.


by Khanstant

RudeCat

The rudest cat for the rudest jobs





Do you have hardcore turned on? Once you start with that option you can't turn it off and it converts all your xp gains into prestige points that you can use to build up your next hardcore character. Just go as far as you can on this life and see what sweet upgrades you can start with next time.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.




Try sleeping.

How Wonderful!


I only have excellent ideas.


Hey if you do find any faeblooded rats lmk, I need four of their tails for something

https://giant.gfycat.com/OddWellgroomedIndianringneckparakeet.webm
https://giant.gfycat.com/HairyCarefreeDachshund.webm



-sigs by Manafisto, Heather Papps and vanisher! goblin by Khanstant! News by deep dish peat moss!

frump truck

hello... again!



you should hang out w the rats instead of killing them. rats are smart and cool

PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."


frump truck posted:

you should hang out w the rats instead of killing them. rats are smart and cool

hey there's a message i can't dismiss from the queue, it says i've "Equipped Hantavirus"???

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

nut


life’s basically a demo until you use real money to purchase neo exchange tokens which can in turn be exchanged for visits to the exp master and seasonal hats

https://giant.gfycat.com/MixedImportantIsabellinewheatear.webm
gb vanisher for summer

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


You gotta find the creep in the cellar (who I'm gonna let in!)

Khad

third time's the HRAAAAAAAAAAAAALF


lol look at this noob doesn't know how to level on the rats

Ventral EggSac



If you talk with the rat at the back of the cellar it will give you a quest where you need to get "One (1) Picture of a Penis" but it won't accept the quest as completed unless it's your own, don't do that quest

DOPE FIEND KILLA G



exp gained scales with your levels op. its time you move on to killing dogs


https://giant.gfycat.com/ShortIllfatedAmurratsnake.webm

vanisher made the little card. sid made the winter one and chubbycheckers made spring

alnilam



PHIZ KALIFA posted:

no, he... he went out for smokes...



ty manifisto

super sweet best pal



Escape From Noise posted:

Have you been skinning the rats?

That's a good idea, every piece of ratskin gear gives a stacking +20% to exp gain from rats.

PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."


well since im using a hammer and these are fairly small rats (i live in a smol bean city, no big rats, many predatory birds) there's really not much of the skins left, but i did like y'all said and stacked the rat skins and now the basement is clogged with these overlapping stacks of 64 ratskins. they're clipping through the floor. when they clip through the furnace they're already on fire and it spreads to the other stacks of skins and even Fire Rats, which increases their speed and inflicts Fire Damage when giving/recieving melee attacks

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.


wait, you're fighting rats in your own basement? Those are your familiars, you fool!

PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."


the only thing im Familiar with this is the Word of G-d.

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




checked the bible and i hate to ask this but have you ever spilled your seed, wastefully, upon the ground?
this may be the issue.


https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FatBossyGrouper-mobile.webm
tyvm hbag and ten thousand blessings upon vanisher. an embarrassment of riches

Turdo



You need to equip a Rat Skewer if you want to gain XP from killing rats. With your hammer equipped you don't get any experience but you do get rat paste for crafting.

DOPE FIEND KILLA G



the ones who drop potions came from your neighbors meth lab


https://giant.gfycat.com/ShortIllfatedAmurratsnake.webm

vanisher made the little card. sid made the winter one and chubbycheckers made spring

Displeased Moo Cow

The Journey BeginsTM


make the rats fight each other instead



THE HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

DOPE FIEND KILLA G



start a rat circus


https://giant.gfycat.com/ShortIllfatedAmurratsnake.webm

vanisher made the little card. sid made the winter one and chubbycheckers made spring

Theotus



Sounds like you might need to work on some other skills. Your Blunt exp is probably capped for this level, so you should get the max bonus once you do level.

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


PHIZ KALIFA posted:

well since im using a hammer and these are fairly small rats (i live in a smol bean city, no big rats, many predatory birds) there's really not much of the skins left, but i did like y'all said and stacked the rat skins and now the basement is clogged with these overlapping stacks of 64 ratskins. they're clipping through the floor. when they clip through the furnace they're already on fire and it spreads to the other stacks of skins and even Fire Rats, which increases their speed and inflicts Fire Damage when giving/recieving melee attacks

Alright, now you kept the meat, right? Because next you'll need some cats...

Displeased Moo Cow

The Journey BeginsTM


race the rats in the rat race



THE HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."


fuckfuckfuckfuck i setup a little gladiator ring like you guys said but the other rats started identifying with Ratticus, this badass ratiator whose wife i killed in secret in order to imprison him under my control. anyhow things kinda spiralled out of control and now they're burning down the colliseum with the stacks of burning ratskins i still haven't cleaned up

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




sometimes we thought we were playing an rpg, when it's actually a turn based strategy game. check gamefaqs.


https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FatBossyGrouper-mobile.webm
tyvm hbag and ten thousand blessings upon vanisher. an embarrassment of riches

PHIZ KALIFA
ABS THUNDERSKULL.

element: thunderbolts.

steed: a thunderbolt.

slogan/motto: "gonna clap them cheeks like a Thunderskull."


ive secured a temporary alliance between myself and the hordes of Raticus faithful by marrying my son to the daughter of his second in command. they're both 2 so mostly he picks her up then puts her in his mouth. i have defeated Hantavirus by grinding up and snorting spiders.

mods only know two things: eat hot grape and lie

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




okay so as soon as you encounter raccoons abandon all your rat allegiances. they are useless in the midgame.


https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FatBossyGrouper-mobile.webm
tyvm hbag and ten thousand blessings upon vanisher. an embarrassment of riches

RudeCat

The rudest cat for the rudest jobs





Heather Papps posted:

okay so as soon as you encounter raccoons abandon all your rat allegiances. they are useless in the midgame.

Tell the racoon emissary "no" three times after you max out their affection though, that way you get the Genji Glove instead of the Gauntlet.

Theotus



RudeCat posted:

Tell the racoon emissary "no" three times after you max out their affection though, that way you get the Genji Glove instead of the Gauntlet.

The Gauntlet can be traded though, it might be worth it to play through things naturally.

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Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Glorious Opportunity To Get Rich!!! — We are starting a cat ranch in Lacon with 100,000 cats. Each cat will average 12 kittens a year. The cat skins will sell for 30 cents each. One hundred men can skin 5,000 cats a day. We figure a daily net profit of over $10,000. Now what shall we feed the cats? We will start a rat farm next door with 1,000,000 rats. The rats breed 12 times faster than the cats. So we will have four rats to feed each day to each cat. Now what shall we feed the rats? We will feed the rats the carcasses of the cats after they have been skinned. Now Get This! We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats and get the cat skins for nothing!

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