readingatwork posted:

OK so "Most Incomprehensible" is Sinfest (all of it) right? Is there anybody else that even comes close?

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

You use a spreadsheet right? I could probably whip up some vba to automate your process somewhat. But I'm not sure exactly what your process is.

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CICADAS FOR THE WIN!

Cicadas have been in the news recently. Once every seventeen years, the cicadas hatch and emerge to enjoy the summer. The insects lay their eggs, die off, and begin the seventeen year cycle anew.

This year they are ready to rumble. They don’t call them the “17” year cicada for nothing.

The cicadas know Biden is a weak, illegitimate president who is part of a regime determined to convert America into a globalist, Marxist, disaster. A few days ago a cicada swam took out the Biden press plane as they flew into the engines, delaying the fight to Europe.

Then as the Cheater in Chief was giving his departure speech, a kamikaze cicada hit Biden in the neck causing him to squeal to the press, “A Big Bug just got me.”

It is reassuring to know our insect friends are red pilled!

GRRRTeam

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I don't get the 17 in quotes. Or really most of that rant.

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Q is the 17th letter of the alphabet

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So I'm not misreading that cartoon, a sports team name change is likend to the slaughter of the native Americans?

We might have to split the racism Kellies to racial categories to keep up with all the poo poo takes.

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I love how Rob Smith Junior still can't resist adding a loving feather to the baseball player who he's supposedly honoring.

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"Changing the name of a baseball team and not using a racist caricature as a mascot is just as bad as killing that race"- A white man

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RAIDERS™ RAIDE

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Wtf So let's break this one down. They discovered a fossilised egg with a dinosaur in it. So, 2022 is the egg here, it was... going to hatch the radical left? (I thought the radical left won when Biden won but let's ignore that for the moment). So the radical left was going to come to prominence in 2022 (how?!? Are they expected to sweep the midterms?) but some outside force (not pictured or labelled) is putting a stop to it and the radical left will be dead forever. Either that or 2022 is going to safely contain the radical left forever, as containing things forever is something that eggs famously do instead of incubating them until they're ready to come out

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God drat. Did Breen see Gorrell's comic and panic? Because this is some first class phoning it in.

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The terrorism inside Afghanistan is still secured by a deadbolt and it's own lock. Only someone from the outside could release it. AGC.

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Regarding

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Racism is as real and important a force in our lives as buoyancy is to a swimmer

Teaching people intelligent interaction with these forces instead of wild thrashing will save their lives

AGC?

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Regarding

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U.S. Border security lets in anything white without an issue, showing it’s racial bias. AGC

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I interpreted it three times before I finally settled on the meaning I think it's supposed to have

The first: Guy on the right is really happy he can gently caress without having kids
The second: Guy is really happy this will make women he doesn't like sterile
The (probably) actual interpretation: Guy is happy it will make pro-vaxxers sterile

It's just a bad loving comic no matter how you slice it

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I think you're wrong on all tries, or at least the last one. No one who says ""what if the vaccine makes me sterile?"" aloud is or ever has been or will be pro-vaccine. The woman in the cartoon is a solid pro-pandemiccer and the man, confusingly, wishes her belief was true so that she couldn't have progeny and not vaccinate them. Which is a paradox, because if she won't have the vaccine then she won't become sterile.

At least there's a good doggy. Who's a good doggy? Yes, you are! Yes you ARE!

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Get hosed forever McCoy. Also the loving gall of this rear end in a top hat whining about rubber stamping EOs after four years of Trump. Maybe don’t mention penmanship class in your cartoon if your own writing consists of barely legible squiggles. Also I know "don't touch the poop" is an (un?) official thread rule, but I went looking for this shitbag to tell him to go gently caress himself to his face. He's on twitter, but his entire feed consists of bot posts about how many people followed and unfollowed him on a given day; his political cartoons are not on Gocomics; and I tracked down his syndication page, on which this strip and several others have exactly zero comments. Is this guy published anywhere? Because I'm getting some real strong "shouting slurs into the void" vibes from him. (Also gently caress you again. Just for good measure.)

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Women athletes are apparently scrawny waifs. You know Branco is definitely watching a lot of women’s athletics.

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Cancel Culture doesn’t actually silence anyone, so bigots can stop whining about it.

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Okay, so, new Garrison, and holy gently caress is it transphobic.

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THERE ARE TWO GENDERS, MALE AND FEMALE. THAT IS ALL- CLAIMS OF ANYTHING ELSE IS MENTAL ILLNESS Senator Rand Paul questioned health nominee Rachel Levine on the process of gender ‘reassignment.’ Only there is no such thing as reassignment.

Wishful thinking and medical mutilation won’t change the fundamental DNA structure that resides in every cell of our bodies. Our sex is part of who we are—not an ‘assignment.’

One’s sex cannot be changed. Neither by means of surgery, nor hormones.

Yet for some reason we live in an age where the ’trans’ delusion is getting ’normalized.’ Wishful thinking is now considered science. We can’t debate the issue without being smeared as a hater or ’transphobic.’ Transgender people are the new sacred cows. One can no longer reasonably question the delusion. Government said so. Stooges representing science said so. Biden said so. Burly boys can claim to be girls and compete alongside them in sporting events—and they usually win. They also get to go into the girls’ locker rooms and we’re not supposed to question that, either.

As a libertarian I don’t care if men and women think they can transmogrify into the opposite sex. If they are adults and not hurting others, that’s their business. I do have a problem when it comes to minors wanting trans surgery and big government overruling parents who don’t want their kids mutilated. Teenagers aren’t mature enough to make such a life-changing and irreversible decision. It’s also why I don’t think children should be allowed to vote. They lack life experience and will usually vote for socialism and free stuff.

Senator Paul knows it’s impossible to ’transition’ from one sex to the opposite and he asked Levine simple and straightforward questions about whether we should allow children to make decisions that have permanent and major health implications—both mental and physical. Levine dithered. Paul finally stated it as clearly as he could:

“I’m alarmed that you’re not willing to say absolutely that minors shouldn’t be making decisions to amputate their breasts or to amputate their genitalia. For most of our history, we have believed that minors don’t have full rights and that parents need to be involved, so I’m alarmed that you won’t say with certainty that minors should not have the ability to make the decision to take hormones that will affect them for the rest of their life. Will you make a more firm decision on whether or not minors should be involved in these decisions?”

Levine still refused to answer the question and repeated “her” memorized statement:

“Senator, transgender medicine is a very complex and nuanced field. And if confirmed to the position of Assistant Secretary of Health, I would certainly be pleased to come to your office and talk with you and your staff about the standards of care and the complexity of this field.”

It’s not a complex and nuanced field. It’s not medicine. It’s doing harm to the bodies of children and doctors are supposed to do no harm. Why wouldn’t she answer the question? Her disingenuous response disqualifies her from office.

Paul was quickly attacked as being transphobic. We aren’t supposed to question the supposed science behind transgenderism because the trans people’s feelings might get hurt. To protect their feelings, any criticism of the transgender fad is labeled as ‘hate speech.’ Trans people have become a special caste and immune from any criticism whatsoever. A book that explained the transgender delusion was recently removed from Amazon. They said the book was ‘hate speech.’ This type of online book burning sets a very dangerous precedent.

We must be able to criticize government officials regardless of their race, religion, or sexual orientation. We must be able to debate and ask questions without fear of getting cancelled by identity politics.

—Ben Garrison

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I think this might be the grossest Garrison I've ever seen.

And of course the usual irony of talking smack about Amazon (and not for the good reasons) just before an Amazon referral link.

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I'm so tired.

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nope. my brain just refused to process this poo poo, I'm taking the day off.

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Since he compared banning hate speech to book burnings, I am compelled to point out that one of the things the nazis destroyed in their actual book burning ceremonies was the entire body of research on trans people and gender dysphoria that existed at the time: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institut_f%C3%BCr_Sexualwissenschaft

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Oh no, my butt gender!

(And yes, you absolutely apologize to Rockwell for using his work to peddle bigotry, rear end in a top hat.)

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I had no idea what this is referring to, as the only thing I can find about $630 million is it going towards environmental items such as parks and then towards the arts. I had to visit a right-wing site to see that arts bit includes LGBT PEOPLE DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find two beehives to wear over my chest because I’m very current with the latest in transgender fashion.

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Hell yeah. I love how all these people tell on themselves by drawing the US taxpayer as a tubby white guy probably 10-15 years younger than they are and with a fuller head of hair, but always in male boomer fashion favorites like t-shirts tucked into jeans or the khakis/polo combo.

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Also Worst Opposite of Reality

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We do, you loving idiot

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For those who don’t know, Ratjen refers to Heinrich Ratjen, an intersex man who was AFAB due to some confusion regarding identifying his genitals. He went on to compete in the women’s team Olympics, and this was rescinded when everything came to light. I am using male pronouns as Ratjen seemed comfortable identifying as a male, but this all happened nearly 100 years ago so who knows. He did identify as a man until his death, so I’ll go off that. He later tried spinning his story as the Nazis forcing him to compete on the women’s team to defeat Jewish competition to avoid embarrassing Hitler’s regime, but seems to just be a fabrication…that got used as the basis of a movie in 2009!

No idea how much Ramirez knows about Ratjen, but this could go from “gently caress you” from thinking trans people approve of that whole situation, or “gently caress yooooooooou” for thinking trans people would approve a literal Nazi plot to cheat against Jewish people. Considering he likely saw the movie, gently caress yooooooooou, Ramirez.

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"Trans women could destroy my schlubby rear end" - Michael Ramirez

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Ramirez must be terribly insecure in his masculinity to be this scared of burly, strong women.

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Ramirez is unfamiliar with weight classes.

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"Okay here we go."

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And this is a good time as any to point out the Wi Spa thing was a transphobic hoax done by a woman who was later found out to be closely associated with the Heritage Foundation. I know I'm going to sound crazy now, but it was literally a false flag designed to specifically target trans women and paint them as predators to advance the chud agenda.

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https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/07/wi-spa-la-transphobic-protest.html

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It's also as good a time as any to remind you that the Wi Spa thing involved armed right wing gangs attacking people: https://twitter.com/TinaDesireeBerg/status/1411770220683792385 https://twitter.com/VPS_Reports/status/1411370746622791682

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New Teacher The Left wants to indoctrinate our kids with radical Ideas about sex and pornography.

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My high school didn't offer Gay Sex Role Play so I took Latin instead.

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Bombshells Eat your heart out China, You may have your first Hypersonic missile but we have a transgender 4-star general.

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Don't be so quick to dismiss this as transphobia. That's a pretty racist caricature as well.

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Wow gently caress you Lester you transphobic bigot

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While I'm sure it doesn't have much of a chance at year's end, something about this one really pisses me off more than a load of more overtly offensive ones, so I don't want to see it passed over.

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I love how Stantis actually brings up ignoring the AIDS epidemic and tries to follow it up with ""But on balance""

Like, even if you ignore the horrifying politics surrounding the decision, over 700,000 people have died in the US alone, many of these deaths could have been prevented if decisive action had been taken early on.
The fact that he actively ignored the epidemic is already unforgivable.

But when you look at the politics you realize that he and the other higher ups seriously hoped that the epidemic would be the answer to gays existing.
They wanted AIDS to kill off the gay community, so they stood by and did nothing.
So, to put this simply:

You can't balance out genocide you gently caress!

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Tatsuya Ishida's last Patreon supporter.

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[vox sez: nominated for best (gutpunch)]

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"Prize Fighter"

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Vacation!
Taking a short summer break… I’ll be back right around the 27th. Please check out the numerous cartoon in the archives. Till then God bless!

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Goddamn

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5 days…

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Custody Battle: Biden immigration policies would not help protect children from human trafficking at the border.

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gently caress me more papers need to fire this dude

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I actually muttered "mother fucker" when I saw this, die in agony Ramirez

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I didn't know illegal immigration from USA to Mexico was such a phenomenon.

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George Floyd had a violent, drug-riddled criminal history. He was convicted of armed robbery and served time in prison. Big and muscular, he worked as a bouncer at a Minneapolis night club.

Still, when I saw him trapped under the knee of a cop and begging for mercy, I was outraged. Clearly the police officer had choked Floyd to death. I drew a cartoon to express my disgust. I thought it was an open and shut case—shocking police brutality, then murder.

Yet at the time I didn’t know the entire story. Tucker Carlson recently showed additional video footage on his program. Something was clearly wrong with Floyd as he sat in his car and begged not to be shot. He was already panicking before the police laid a finger on him. The cops calmly promised they wouldn’t shoot him—they simply wanted to question him for passing a counterfeit bill. Floyd kept begging for mercy and the police eventually asked him if he was ‘on’ something. It was that obvious. It was unlikely Floyd was even fit to drive.

As it turned out, Floyd had a tremendous amount of Fentanyl in his body, along with methamphetamine. Fentanyl is a synthetic opioid drug known to be very dangerous. Most of it is produced in China and shipped to America via Mexico.

To my surprise, the police officer was using acceptable and department-approved procedure with his knee maneuver. Supposedly it was ’safe.’ That strikes me as absurd, but a drug addled Floyd could easily have died from Fentanyl. The stress he was under probably triggered life-ending symptoms.

Here are symptoms of a Fentanyl overdose:

Low blood pressure
Drowsiness
Dizziness
Limp body
Slowed or stopped breathing
Decreased heart rate
Reduced or loss of consciousness
Coma

Of course, the left and their ‘fact checking’ sites will tell us drugs had nothing to do with Floyd’s death. His martyrdom must be protected! The socialists used Floyd’s death to incite the BLM and Antifa to burn, loot, and destroy cities across America last summer. We were told Floyd was a saint, a great father, and an all-around exemplary human being. Clearly he wasn’t the latter, but regardless, he didn’t deserve to die in the street in such a manner. The City of Minneapolis admitted this when they awarded Floyd’s family a record $27 million payout.

If the police officer is found not guilty, look for the socialists to go on a violent rampage once again.

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Goddamn, Ben coming out swinging for the racist fences on this one

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loving die, dude: you are scum.

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I know, compared to so many others, this one is minor, but "Meghan deserved everything she got" is a pretty awful take.

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"Reforms."

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gently caress YOU you racist shithead

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Oh look, the fire Ramirez needs to die in.

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Great loving timing on this one today, Ramirez.

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Also the really strong implication that young Black children are disconnected from their communities and that Black people aren't thinking through their actions

gently caress that Ramirez is really, really bad

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okay, im officially in ""if i see Ramirez in real life i dont think i could stop myself from beating the poo poo out of him until someone physically pulls me off of him."" territory

Like.. didnt the kid literally get shot because he did the hands up when he was told hands up

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I don't think it's going to beat out Ramirez, since Lester is only good at beating his wife, but it's still a contender.

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1) The only reason Lester cares about the detention and abuse of Uighurs in China is because it's a way for him to say China Bad. If it were happening in any other country he wouldn't give a poo poo about a Muslim population being oppressed.
2) Note the bartender, who is Black-coded and is playing the role of ""background character who agrees with Lester and is looking into the camera to indicate this"". (Lester often includes this character in his cartoons; when he's talking about race the character is almost always Black or Black-coded.)
3) Note the difference in skin tones between the first and second speakers; the second is clearly meant to be Standard White Person, and the first is...

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Holy poo poo, gently caress you Lester.

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I can only read that Lester as "THIS IS WHAT CONSERVATIVES ACTUALLY BELIEVE". We're led to think he's a hypocrite liberal, but this is just face value conservative gatekeeping.

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He's going for a double ""You're the real racist.""

Hypocritical libs and black people are both the Real Racists because they both think that slavery only ever happened to Africans.
It's on the same Greatest Hits album as ""Actually, the Africans are the ones who were doing the most selling other Africans to the whites"" and ""Irish people can't be racist because they were also slaves""

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Jesus Christ these people are just reveling in any excuse to be racist.

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Also allow me to say gently caress you Branco, you racist turd

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Really not sure how Maxine Water's comments impacted the trial as the jury was supposed to be sequestered in the first place. But yes, thank you for acknowledging all of this was because of someone kneeling on another person's neck, you racist piece of poo poo. I can only hope that you suffer a karmic death at the hands of the police you love so much.

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Lifeline Alert!
Some feel Maxine Waters and Biden are guilty of jury tampering during the Chauvin trial.

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You gotta give me the empty thought balloon!

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Branco is the one person that I can say with absolute certainty that he loving hates the people he draws, with every fiber of his being. It's practically oozing out of the jpeg.

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Immigrating Masochists
Despite being such a racist white supremacy nation millions of people of color still want to live here.

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The Worst Concealed Racism/Bigotry award is simply called the Branco because goddamn

Also gently caress YOU Branco

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gently caress off. I wonder who thinks that Latines are good for just those two occupations, Tinsley?

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Now, now. Tinsley certainly believes that there are many jobs that Hispanic immigrants can hold: MS-13 mule, MS-13 lookout, MS-13 thug, MS-13 assassin…

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Superspreader In Chief
Biden’s open border policy has become a major superspreader event while he imposes more restrictions on American citizens.

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Just now, the news media and Congress are obsessed with the images of a chaotic American retreat from Afghanistan, but, if the only lesson Americans learn from the nation’s longest war is that the exit needed to be better planned, we may be doomed to repeat this 20-year tragedy.

The larger lesson should have been learned in Vietnam when so many of our political leaders, foreign policy experts and military commanders let a limited mission expand into an attempt to build a Jeffersonian Democracy in a foreign land caught up in civil war. In Vietnam, we thought throwing enough money and troops at the problem would, eventually, fix it. It did not work there and it did not work in Afghanistan.

A very poor, tribal land like Afghanistan was never a very good prospect for nation building and all the hundreds of billions of dollars funneled into that country failed to create a sustainable, modern democracy. What that vast flood of money did do was fuel massive corruption among the ruling elite, including the president who recently fled the capital, Kabul, reportedly with an enormous cache of cash.

Our high-tech, superbly-trained military is the envy of the world, but, as one former state department official observed recently, over two decades our troops fought the same war 20 times. Commanders would rotate in and out every year, each one claiming to have made progress but, in reality, having merely engaged in another 12-month game of cat and mouse with the Taliban.

And the Taliban, like the Viet Cong, were fighting on their own turf, prepared for a generational battle. They simply had to wait until Americans got weary of the fight and departed. Unless the United States is prepared to act like a classical empire and impose its will by maintaining permanent hegemony in far flung regions of the world, this will always be the result.

It is hubris and folly to believe that American wealth and power can always achieve any starry-eyed mission that our leaders and experts concoct. From Ronald Reagan through the administrations of the next six presidents, the U.S. has meddled in Afghanistan, usually with idealistic intentions. There were some successes, like the killing of Osama bin Laden, but the biggest social reform — the partial emancipation of Afghani women — was totally dependent on the U.S. military presence and the other supposed achievement — the creation of a large, modernized Afghan army — evaporated as soon as American advisors and air power were withdrawn.

At last, we have a president who has recognized that we cannot do for the Afghanis what they will not do for themselves. If Joe Biden deserves blame for the messiness of this moment, he also deserves credit for seeing the hard truth more clearly than his predecessors and then acting upon it.

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I think you need the accompanying rant to really emphasis the racism. Upon first look, I thought the backwards country statement was just something the imperialists would say, and not a sincere belief held by Horsey.

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Seriously, holy gently caress

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Haha, look at these whacky middle easterners bringing their livestock to the meeting and demanding a woman serve them.

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Flight Risk Biden in allowing thousands of unvetted Afghan refugees into the U.S. including possible future terrorists.

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STOLEN ELECTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

As the invasion worsens along our southern border, Joe Biden took decisive action. He went back on vacation.

Joe and his Marxist masters are intentionally destroying America in order to build it back better. How do thousands of Haitian poor achieve that? It’s unlikely they’re doctors, lawyers, or educators. It’s more likely they are criminals, gang members, or people here to collect free stuff.

We are supposed to be a country of laws and we lave immigration laws, but Biden and his operatives refuse to enforce the laws of the Constitution. Instead they operate their spin machine and tell us everything in just fine. Biden did that in Afghanistan and now he’s doing it here by refusing to allow drone coverage of the invasion.

Where will this invasion head next? Certainly, they won’t be camping out on the White House lawn. More likely you’ll see them in your neighborhood. Look for crime to skyrocket.

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Well, at least the mask is fully off now?

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Well, Garrison just went full "Camp of the Saints".

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Breaking and Entering
Trump left a secure border that Biden has turned into a complete disaster.

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It’s always easy to tell when Ramirez is super mad about something. In this case…refugees.

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Why is that bad, Varvel?

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Did he not label the bottom of florida because that has immigration he's okay with

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Jesus Christ

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This is some Uncle Ruckus level racial self loathing, godDAMN.

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Looking forward to Ramirez' 4th of july cartoon where he will tackle all the evil poo poo that USA did.

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This picture but its columbus cutting off native americans hands because he thought he was god

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Christopher Columbus, noted for his complete lack of murder.

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I reflexively stuck my middle finger at my monitor upon seeing this.

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Holy shiiit if there was ever a reason for him to get the gently caress fired out of a cannon.

Also, Christians are probably the last people who would benefit if we started to showcase cultures solely from their worst sides.

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Yeah, is that comic literally just "oh you think white people are the big threat? Wrong!! What about black people?! They're way more scary and dangerous!"

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Georgia 22 On Her Mind Stacey Abrams lied when she says she accepted the 2018 Georgia Governor’s race as she tries for 2022.

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Because holy poo poo.

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What the gently caress is that?

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C'mon! Tucker is literally the Platonic ideal of "gormless white man". How could you gently caress that up?

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I know that Court Packing isn't supposed to be anybody specific, but goddamn, those eyes gotta count for something.

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Jesus Christ these people are just reveling in any excuse to be racist.

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Also allow me to say gently caress you Branco, you racist turd

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Really not sure how Maxine Water's comments impacted the trial as the jury was supposed to be sequestered in the first place. But yes, thank you for acknowledging all of this was because of someone kneeling on another person's neck, you racist piece of poo poo. I can only hope that you suffer a karmic death at the hands of the police you love so much.

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(Kamala Harris)

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I just noticed she's the same colour as the cupboards. Cupboards aren't normally green either but, being made of wood, I bet they're often brown.

Somehow that particular brown ended up a green across the whole panel.


E: also the woman has no right arm. That coffee mug, along with some fingertips (), is just hovering

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You mean to say, she's not an olive cylinder with doopy eyes? Yeah, I concur. Kellies nomination: worst caricature

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Lifeline Alert!
Some feel Maxine Waters and Biden are guilty of jury tampering during the Chauvin trial.

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You gotta give me the empty thought balloon!

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Branco is the one person that I can say with absolute certainty that he loving hates the people he draws, with every fiber of his being. It's practically oozing out of the jpeg.

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My brain keeps interpreting that "Kavanaugh" as a weird caricature of a Chinese mandarin or something.

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Stand Your Ground Many on the like Tlaib of the Squad and the MS Media are screaming at Israel to ceasefire while Hamas continues to fire rockets at their populated cities.

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I feel like half the time Branco should be excluded from that category in the same way Gorrell is from the laziness one given how he intentionally draws everyone he doesn't like as ugly as possible

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How can a professional artist be so absolutely terrible at their job that they don't know what a loving scythe looks like? The grim reaper with his big, curved scythe is one of the most iconic images imaginable. How do you even screw that up?

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I found the reference:

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For Europe

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I MEAN LOOK AT IT https://i.imgur.com/2jtd8gs.png

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This is a big day for the Secretly Enormous Faroes

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As someone living in Scotland, I really can't agree with anyone who doesn't think a trench 30 miles wide shouldn't be dug across the border line. Hell, we'll even take it on our side - we'd be sinking half our Tories into the sea.

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The Truth is In Here: The US intelligence community released its long-awaited UFO Report confirming that a series of mysterious flying objects have been seen moving through restricted military airspace over the last several decades and that they might not be of known terrestrial origin.

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That is a real bad gillian anderson.

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Because what the hell is this?

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the longer i read through this thread and browse through the comics en masse, the more all these ridiculously garish caricature styles start to blur together and i start to see the entire medium of political cartoons as engaged in a sort of visual/mental revelatory degeneration

it's like that artist that did self-portraits that got wackier and more abstractly garish as he succumbed to alzheimers


it's like the slow vortex of boomer brainwormdom as the medium cranks smoke and starts dying like a fat star

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[for Boris Johnson]

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Sleepy Joe Duty
Biden, again, makes a mess of things on the world stage all while falling asleep.

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AOC

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some iteration of Sleeping Venus.

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I know that isn't a category, but I'm suggesting it should be if we're going to keep getting poo poo like this.

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Because I'm determined to make this a category
And also because you know Ramirez already has a dozen unnecessary crosshatches ready to go about how owning guns is cool and necessary and endorsed by White Baby Jesus himself.

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No, I'm pretty sure conservatives suddenly care about racism now, for real. Let's hear them out!

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Yes Ramirez, because you cared so much when this was happening under Bush, Obama, and Trump. loving hack

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It's even worse than that because his argument is that occupying Afghanistan forever would be more humane somehow

As though we wouldn't keep murdering kids and aid workers with drone strikes anyway, in addition to the troops on the ground raping and murdering civilians with that personal touch

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Ah, yes, the clever strategy of fighting systemic racial injustice by kowtowing to the system that created it. How’s that panning out for you, an Asian person in the United States, right now, during the Covid pandemic? Ohh...
Also was the plan to wheel yourself back all the way from the school, or just sit there outside all day?

quote:

Holy poo poo I guess isn't the only one using this dumbass talking point anymore.

Ragnar34 posted:

Ramirez is Branco levels of human garbage this year. Obviously he's always been, but now he's being open about it. It's like he lost interest in the veneer of respectability.

DalaranJ posted:

Separating the Worst LGBTphobic from Worst Racism was a really good idea, thanks.

Tevery Best posted:

Danziger's drawings barely resemble people and I was of the opinion that his art is some of the worst in the thread for months now. He is, amongst the cartoonists whose works do not get your blood pressure up too far, by far the worst in the thread.

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I mean, it's gaslighting because Rob Smith lives in an imaginary world of his own creation, lit entirely by propane lamp, but still.

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The term "gaslighting" gets thrown around so much these days but…

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[vox sez: gave this user the nomination based on the above comment]

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The Enemy Within: The Wall around the Capital building in D.C. is only there as a political prop to use against conservatives.

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(NY Dems are calling for Cuomo's resignation.)

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gently caress off, Breen. Democrats are responding in exactly the same fundamental way: "this person should not be in this position".

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No Kidding Around: Pelosi, Schumer, and the Democrats are stealing from our children to bail out irresponsible Blue States.

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Democrats passed a super-popular bill and are shouting about it, while Republicans are trying to distract people by whining about Dr. Seuss and Potatohead dolls. Real "opposite of reality" energy.

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Welcome to Crazystan: Minneapolis has a new autonomous zone called “George Floyd Square” and no police are allowed.

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Looks like one of the five different sites Branco does poo poo for is a Minnesota specific thing.

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Ellison and Walz are literally working with the Agape Movement to reopen the square, which is currently closed to almost everybody.

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It's an article of faith that everyone is ignoring this huge scandal.

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Do you think he turned the light on before or after firing an assault rifle over his daughter.

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Sweetheart, I would have had to close your bedroom window.

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Oh whoops, sorry kiddo, that's your older brother trying to sneak back in the house after curfew. Oh well!

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The worst thing about cartoons like this is knowing there are people who unironically take it as a good point. Somebody out there is nodding sagely and sharing it on Facebook.

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Meanwhile in the real world the little girl is saying "how would you take my life if the Democrats took your gun" while bleeding out.

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Further mockery of the gun at: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3953823&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=131#post513466471

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Oh drat, a classic. Is Ramirez suggesting that we....cancel culture?

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gently caress you Ramirez and your "been debunked for decades" bullshit that videogames cause shootings.

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Oh look, the fire Ramirez needs to die in.

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Great loving timing on this one today, Ramirez.

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Also the really strong implication that young Black children are disconnected from their communities and that Black people aren't thinking through their actions

gently caress that Ramirez is really, really bad

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okay, im officially in ""if i see Ramirez in real life i dont think i could stop myself from beating the poo poo out of him until someone physically pulls me off of him."" territory

Like.. didnt the kid literally get shot because he did the hands up when he was told hands up

quote:

That's blatant. That's it. There's nothing subtle about it. They couldn't possibly run that.

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I see they're just unironically repeating the Kelly "when America does/doesn't talk about race" cartoon.

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It's been exclusively the right doing those, rear end in a top hat.

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Happy Earth Day!
AOC is as smarts[sic] as the weather.

quote:

I had to back up and reread this a couple times to get the point. The "if global warming, why cold?" format is evolving. The claim is that AOC refers to hot weather as "climate change," but then when severe winter storms show up she says "that's just weather." In reality, she and others who accept the science frequently point out that climate change can lead to more intense winter storms.

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This is interesting because the other day in my English class, a Japanese student who is up on American news asked me what the controversy was about that bill. Same as this idiot, he was looking at it in isolation and didn’t know about the long history of voting laws made to look innocuous but are intricately designed to prevent the specific people from voting.

He has the excuse of being a foreigner he’s never even visited America though.

quote:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anrel3vVfK4 Get hosed.

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loving lol, GA activists have gone through and analyzed just how bad the bill is point by point; it's wingnuts like Drinky n'Pals who are all ""it makes voting easier, trust us, Brian Kemp said so!""

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The endpoint of fascism, once all other enemies are eliminated, is to find a new enemy within because fascism cannot exist without an enemy.

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I keep coming back to this comic, because I think it betrays a fundamental conservative misapprehension - or at least, what they keep claiming they believe - about ""canceling"" and ""cancel culture"", which is that canceling is something people do because they enjoy it and that liberals and leftists are actively looking for people to cancel, rather than responding to harmful behavior by insisting that the people who engage in the harmful behavior face consequences for it.

(It is, of course, projection: conservatives actually do go looking for reasons to cancel people they don't like, probably most famously with the Crowder crowd deliberately digging up decade-old tweets from James Gunn to get him fired, and more recently with their bizarre obsession with Biden and the dandelion - and if they can't find anything, they'll make something up; cf. literally any Garrison cartoon.)

quote:

There's no gas shortage. You idiots bought way more gas than you needed because of Facebook memes and caused some gas stations to run out.
There's no labor shortage. You idiots won't pay employees what they're worth, so they don't want to work for you.
Inflation is back to a normal level after more than a decade of recession.

quote:

That poor helpless border guard!

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Stand Your Ground
Many on the like Tlaib of the Squad and the MS Media are screaming at Israel to ceasefire while Hamas continues to fire rockets at their populated cities.

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drat, outgunned 23-to-1.

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Also Worst Opposite of Reality

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We do, you loving idiot

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Operation Distraction Democrats are using the January 6th capitol trespassing event to distract people from their disastrous policies.

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Free Rider
Biden is riding Trump’s economic coattails and enjoying a good stock market until Bidenomics kick-in.

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The texas dems were fully vaccinated.

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Biden literally said that America wasn't in Afghanistan to nation-build. The Taliban aren't the ones undermining the process.

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It’s always easy to tell when Ramirez is super mad about something. In this case…refugees.

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Literally no. "The rich" (as in "tax the rich") isn't some nebulous, badly defined entity, it's all people who do not pay their fair share of taxes compared to their income, like billionaires who pay like zero point two percent of what they earn. gently caress your strawmanning.

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While I'm sure it doesn't have much of a chance at year's end, something about this one really pisses me off more than a load of more overtly offensive ones, so I don't want to see it passed over.

quote:

I love how Stantis actually brings up ignoring the AIDS epidemic and tries to follow it up with ""But on balance""

Like, even if you ignore the horrifying politics surrounding the decision, over 700,000 people have died in the US alone, many of these deaths could have been prevented if decisive action had been taken early on.
The fact that he actively ignored the epidemic is already unforgivable.

But when you look at the politics you realize that he and the other higher ups seriously hoped that the epidemic would be the answer to gays existing.
They wanted AIDS to kill off the gay community, so they stood by and did nothing.
So, to put this simply:

You can't balance out genocide you gently caress!

quote:

See Only Evil
There are none so blind as those who will not see… Rittenhouse Shoots 3 white guys and the leftist MS media tries to turn it into a race war.

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"I always make sure to check nobody will call me out before I genocide a people" is not the slam dunk one might think it is.

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"thank god nobody is here to revise history" says a literal revision of history

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Seriously, get hosed eight ways to Sunday, wifebeater. Not only does the law at the heart of Dobbs v. Jackson have a trigger clause that would immediately outlaw abortion in Mississippi if the decision overturns Roe v. Wade, there's more than twenty states that will immediately have some form of insane anti-abortion law kick in via similar trigger laws.

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Blaming the failure in Afghanistan on people working from home is certainly... something.

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Seriously, get hosed Varvel. You and your Republican buddies support the exact combination of deregulation, stripping of labour protections and climate change denial that led to people dying in factories after being repeatedly told they'd get fired if they took shelter rather than remain on the job.

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"Hard to swallow", exaggerated, oversensationalized "FEAR" in the context of pandemic drugs is definitely that fear which is directed at horse drugs, and definitely not some other fear of something else, like vaccines, for instance. No irrational fear over those.

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Also question about this category: do all of the combo cartoons have to be from this year, or only at least one? Like is the award for being a liar period, or is it for being so shameless a liar that you flip-flop in the same year

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Goddamnit I just got done saying that Bennet seemed to be making good cartoons again

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I see the turtle carrying last week's marching orders finally made it to Ramirez's house.

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Yeah I'm insanely disappointed in him recently. Hell sometimes I catch myself thinking that he's become worse than the patron saint of laziness lately.

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Jesus Christ, Bennett. At least pretend to put some effort in

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Gary couldn't be bothered to draw squggly lines for states going down the drain so he used the smudge tool in photoshop on a map of the United States instead.

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Should maybe be a "worst cartoon about a weather/climate event" sub-category for "a thing happened", drat

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That bird is smug as hell

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Presumably that baby is unwanted so I hope it loves Texas' adoption system, which I assume is extremely robust and humane???

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Not letting this one slip by unnoticed. While I completely agree with the message, holy poo poo

quote:

WHAT GOVERNMENT CAN GIVE, GOVERNMENT CAN TAKE AWAY

“Give us more, boy”

The Big Government Taker used 9-11 to take away most of our 4th Amendment. Many lives were also taken when we were forced to fight endless wars in the Mideast. Now the artificial crisis known as COVID-19 has enabled The Big Government Taker to remove even more of our rights. People were/are locked down, forced to wear masks, and socially distanced. They complied at every turn.

Then our free speech, at least for conservatives, was taken away on the most popular social media sites. The virus enabled widespread mail-in balloting, which was blatantly corrupted. Other shenanigans followed. The virus enabled our votes to be taken away. The Big Government Taker rigged the election for Biden.

Who constitutes Big Government the Taker? The usual suspects.

The centi-billionaires and illuminati who are accustomed to taking. They call themselves ‘the elite.’ They are not the elite—they are simply psychopathic globalists who continue to seize more power because we allow them to do it. We should call them ‘elitists,’ not the elite.’ We should not allow them to become our psychological masters.

They’ve taken away our town square social media soap box. Then the ballot box was taken away in a rigged election. We must not let them take away the ammo box. The Second Amendment is our last means of defending ourselves from genocidal maniacs who would love to drag us off to FEMA camps for forced vaccination—or worse.

We can’t let them take our firearms or our ammo boxes. If we do, get ready to live in a high tech prison world where we will have become citizen cattle subject to any whimsey from totalitarians such as Bill Gates. He’s the ultimate taker, he wants to take your life.

—Ben Garrison

quote:

Open Biden: It is obvious what is on Biden’s declining brain lately and it’s not what is best for America.

quote:

just label the goddamn stick "10 ft," you colossal dump rear end

quote:

Also it's "wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot pole"

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Economic Greed Migrant As the Biden Administration claims to be looking into the root causes of mass migration from Central America to the southern U.S. border with Mexico, perhaps we should consider the role of the United States in destabilizing Northern Triangle countries like Honduras.

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Speech balloon placement is labeling, right?

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I can still agree with a really lovely cartoon. The racism label is completely useless here, honestly.

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Like, I get where he was trying to go with this, but between the half a dozen "Beer" labels and no reference to the 18th or 21st amendments, I think it fails in what it was trying to accomplish.

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"Infrastructure" and "Jobs" are both cleaning tools. What does the job broom sweep away, unemployment? Okay, but what do you pick up with the infrastructure dustpan?

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Wouldn't the gun be labeled "liberal policies" and the flag "soft on crime"

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Operation Distraction Democrats are using the January 6th capitol trespassing event to distract people from their disastrous policies.

quote:

Bloated Malarkey Bill
RINOs help to give Biden a win toward collapsing the country by helping them pass the bloated Infrastructure Bill.

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It’s always easy to tell when Ramirez is super mad about something. In this case…refugees.

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States At Risk
All states are at risk of being invaded by unvaccinated illegal immigrants from Biden’s open borders.

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for (sour note IRAQ)

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Let Them Eat Crime
Omar and the squad spent a combined $100,000 on personal security last quarter while promoting defunding the police.

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That's some Gosse-tier labeling.

quote:

The tradie's pointing at the debris that's caused the blockage. The phrase 'here's your problem' refers to identifying the cause of a problem. The artist could have labelled the water POLLS and then labelled the debris CONGRESS or WOKENESS or whatever to create a message. Instead the artist has elected to say nothing at all. A poor poll result is an outcome, Stantis, it isn't the cause of anything, Stantis, except maybe crummy political cartoons

quote:

I think this is another example of goons not really understanding cartoons. I'm not saying that it's a great cartoon (it is Stantis after all), but isn't it an obvious visual metaphor for idiom "Biden's approval ratings have gone down the toilet/drain"? The suggestion that the water should be labeled polls on the other hand would mean that Biden's polls are... rising? THAT makes no sense.

quote:

How is the hose inflating after where it's tied off?

quote:

Not only that, if Biden is the gas pump, what the hell is the knot blocking off supply?

I don't know if this is a category but gently caress it, Kellies nomination: worst metaphor and/or worst label. I don't know which fits better but it's such a terrible cartoon it deserves nomination for something.

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Just an absolute loving salad of buzzwords

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Bold move to label your junk INFLATION.

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I'm glad the gorilla is wearing a shirt that tells me he's 800 pounds. Without that there would have been no indication that the gorilla was heavy.

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"IT'S INCISIVE COMMENTARY!!"

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Like it would kind of make sense if it were about impeachment. (It would still be dumb though.) But the filibuster???

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Nonsense, this is an election year!

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I think the point is that the ""Jim Crow"" is supposed to be the tiny, almost non-existent bird in the cage?

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I get it, but the mixed metaphor is sufficiently bizarre that I think it earns the nomination. Like, the bird exists.

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What?

quote:

https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2021/apr/21/blog-posting/paper-about-mask-wearing-was-not-stanford-and-make/

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I think it's actually pro-mask? Like the couple is ignoring the headlines that are ridiculous on their face for the first two, but then embracing the third because it gives them an excuse to stop wearing their masks.

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Counterpoint: It's Lester.

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"Infrastructure" and "Jobs" are both cleaning tools. What does the job broom sweep away, unemployment? Okay, but what do you pick up with the infrastructure dustpan?

quote:

I mean, compared to the racist/homophobic/xenophobic/misogynistic competition it's going to have, this comic is just so bafflingly stupid on every level that I feel I had to nominate it.

quote:

Do maternity wards even have rooms full of babies any more, or is that just another anachronism from old cartoonists? When my kid was born a couple years ago, the hospital made it clear their policy was to keep her in Mom's room at all times.

quote:

My experience both times was the baby in the mother's room, and there was a nursery with a couple staff in it who could watch the baby if the mother needed, but it would show up on your bill in expensive font

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I think "maturity ward" is key to making sense of the cartoon, it's hard to imagine that it's not about explicit content. "Your kid is going to hear a cuss in a rap music and see a boob in a movie, corrupting them indelibly." Marx being there just tacks "this is Cultural Marxism" to the end.

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Like, I *get it*, but this is such a garbled metaphor

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I was starting to think I was the only one. I've spent 5 minutes on that one and got nowhere

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Because what the actual gently caress is this idiot going on about?!?!

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I almost want to say it's in response to a study that ostensibly links "wanting to be in charge" to personality disorders, but, yeah, I just pulled that out of my rear end.

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That's blatant. That's it. There's nothing subtle about it. They couldn't possibly run that.

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Christopher Columbus, noted for his complete lack of murder.

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I reflexively stuck my middle finger at my monitor upon seeing this.

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Holy shiiit if there was ever a reason for him to get the gently caress fired out of a cannon.

Also, Christians are probably the last people who would benefit if we started to showcase cultures solely from their worst sides.

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RAIDERS™ RAIDE

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Context: Man kills five people with bow and arrow in Kongsberg.

quote:

because that makes not a seconds worth of sense

quote:

Immanuel

quote:

What part of "Immanuel" do you not understand?

quote:

Varvel refers to them as "dual-image cartoons".

quote:

That's goddamned horrifying and kinda shallow. I guess it's good for showing he was behind some really, really popular songs but ugh.

quote:

Seriously, get hosed Varvel. You and your Republican buddies support the exact combination of deregulation, stripping of labour protections and climate change denial that led to people dying in factories after being repeatedly told they'd get fired if they took shelter rather than remain on the job.

quote:

Seuss wasn't a racist?
I guess this is true
But his estate owns
His books through and through
Your beef is with them,
You booze-addled hack
But all of us know
Who you'll really attack
The libs! The woke!
The Blacks and the chicks!
All this to comfort
Your fanbase of hicks
I leave you with this
Among my predictions:
You beat off at night
To the racist depictions

quote:

Parody of

quote:

Parody of

quote:

He Has Risen! His Pants Have Fallen!

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Parody of

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Parody of

quote:

Because goddamn, it's spot on.

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That'll be two pulitzers, plz

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quote:

Jesus. Zero score, communist Red, anarchist Yellow, trans Blue, level 14, virus 88, Debt in his hand... Pants Donkey, this is a masterpiece.

quote:

I present to you


EVERY BRANCO COMIC EVER

quote:

Unless it's a black person, then the lips are about 4x that size.

quote:

Needs some stink lines.

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One thing i wanted to convey is that the character, no matter if Branco thinks they are good or bad, seems to have a sneering glare. Like a goblin who hates the sun or evil wizard who hates true love. This is what i can only believe to be what Branco thinks is a natural look for a person. Hes portraying his own disdainful face when he makes these.

quote:

also nominated by Lurdiak

quote:

Shoulda gotten a Cum Pass.

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https://himbofisher.tumblr.com/post/650946813711515648

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Calling 911 is deadly. A good cartoon.

E: I'm sure I could have just used a cop that Bok's drawn at some point but I'm not going to sift through that fucker's comics.

quote:

kellies nomination: worst edit

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I knew Joe Biden wasn't Batman

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That is extremly cursed. I applaud you for it

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I think we've found the Pulitzer winner.

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Least-laziest Gorrell

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WHAT!?

*Edit* Whoops, I thought that was a Garrison.

quote:

Here i turned it into a garrison for you

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Guys i did it

I went back in time and it turns out Ishida was making Sinfest it the 1940s.

You wont believe what his comics looked like

quote:

Overton window funnies

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I'm waiting for all the Lowtax obituary cartoons

quote:

Oh drat, some body horror got into the political cartoon thread.

quote:

almost died when i realizerd who the Ghislaine and Epstein courtroom sketch reminded me of

quote:

Sending my love to the poli-toons thread, you never forget an old flame.

quote:

[vox sez: Requested by nominator to address

Skios posted:

Is it possible that there's a cartoon missing? I remember a particularly heinous McCoy about Rittenhouse, and the comments for entry 132 seem to refer to that one.

Skios posted:

This is the post that contains the McCoy cartoon in question. Double checking, I think the crossed wires occurred because the cartoon for 132 was nominated in a same category as the McCoy one, Worst Cartoon About a Tragedy, at the top of the same page. The comments under 132 were about the McCoy cartoon, not the Branco cartoon nominated at the top of that particular thread page.

Sorry if that came across as too pedantic. I'm really enjoying all the Politoons content and appreciate the work you put into these threads. I was just trying to clear up some of my own confusion.

Skios posted:

It's just the comments that are wrong. Sorry again for causing confusion.

KennyMan666 posted:

And... the comments under L-157 seem to be for the wrong cartoon and P-240 seems to be missing entirely.

quote:

Trump's lies and lovely record deserve to go down the drain and into the disposal. Effortless AGC.

quote:

Also, he did it to himself. I genuinely struggle to read this comic any other way

quote:

He's clearly flipping the switch to on.

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It's baffling cause yeah, a straight read of that sentence is implying that the only difference between murderous dictators and conservatives is that the former still have their twitter accounts. Good..... job, Tinsley???

quote:

He's admitting that conservatives are vile creatures who are being punished lol

quote:

Well, that is extremely poor wording, Tinsley.

quote:

BREAKING THE CRYSTAL BALL

When the virus plandemic began to unfold, I heard Ben make several predictions that came true. He knew the virus would be used to hurt Trump’s reelection, but he didn’t know that the Democrats would use it to leverage mail-in ballot fraud that allowed the unpopular Biden to steal the presidency outright.

I do remember Ben railing against mask wearing. He predicted that they’d become permanent and they have been for nearly a year now. They’re still being over-worn even though many governors have dropped their mandates—which weren’t even law in the first place. Governors can’t make laws, but if corporations enforce the mandates then that’s that.

The most ominous thing that Ben fretted about were the dangerous vaccines. He knew they were coming and he saw that they would become mandatory. He knew that Bill Gates would use them as a means of control through tracking and eventually they’d be used to depopulate the Earth. We’ve seen too many people eagerly line up to take the jabs even though the evidence of them causing injury and death have been overwhelming. Too many people have received the vaccine and then dropped dead within weeks.

Ben has assembled a collection of his ant-medical tyranny cartoons drawn over the past 10 years. I have a few cartoons in the book myself. Most were drawn during the last year. The book will come out later this month and we hope you consider purchasing it to help our cause at GrrrGraphics. We hope the book will be widely seen in order to help raise awareness of how the virus has been used to strip us of our liberties.

—Tina

quote:

Not that I particularly want to untangle the webs of Garrison's brain spiders, but how is mask mandates being eased across the country somehow both proof that masks were never legitimate and also proof that the NWO will force you to wear them forever?

quote:

I can't believe Ben Garrison is personally releasing the police state on all of us! I also can't believe the police state is so adorable!

quote:

The only reason I can even tell that the cartoonist expects us to agree with guy on the ground is that I've had my brain broken from years of reading this thread, if you just showed this to a random person they'd tell you the ground guy is obviously supposed to be the butt of the joke

quote:

Yes, Mike. The US doesn't stop being racist just because 12 people in Minneapolis made the right decision.

quote:

Yes, even though the justice system got it right this time it's still incredibly racist, AGC.

quote:

Less intelligent people should be denied health care, ABC.


I know what he's getting at don't @ me

quote:

The Free Lunch building is larger and clearly more successful/appealing looking, AGC.

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Bidenomics are essential for economy to continue to function.
An Economics Cartoon.

quote:

Bidenomics are essential for economy to function, and the Democrats are ensuring that the economy functions long into the future

quote:

BIDEN THE CROOK IN CHIEF

Biden’s Memorial Day speech included this howler:

“Terrorism from white supremacy is the most lethal threat to our homeland today."

There was no mention of terrorism from BLM or Antifa who were busy looting and burning city streets across America last summer. No. It’s white supremacists. Undoubtedly the Marxists will tie that to ‘white privilege.’ The end game will be about attacking Trump supporters. Biden will say it sooner or later—he and his Marxist gang will call all of us who think Trump is the legitimate president ‘terrorists.’ It will give them the excuse to crack down and lock in more power for their uni-party, the Socialist Democrats. They never want a Republican president again. They want a uni-party like they have in communist China.

Reminder the Democrats hate you, your skin color, your children and your ancestors.

Marxists have no conscience or desire to obey laws or the Constitution. To them, the end justifies the means and that end is more power for them.

They knew the corrupt and befuddled Biden didn’t have much of a chance for a legitimate win, so they stole the election for him outright. Joe is not our president.

He’s a puppet of a regime that hijacked our country. Their crimes are ongoing. Biden is their crook in chief.

—Ben Garrison

quote:

You can't interpret it any other way than the way Garrison doesn't want you to! How can you gently caress up a simple cartoon that bad

quote:

Because seriously, I can't see any way to read this except "Without government regulation people will buy dangerous stuff because it's cheaper."

quote:

You don't even have to do that. "Trump is chasing imaginary enemies" is the only way to read that cartoon.

quote:

Alternatively you can read that Ben Garrison is a goddamned moron

quote:

Yeah like is the comic mixing metaphors and trying to say vaccinations are useless against lion attacks?

Because the lion is labeled ""covid"" so that implies that a vaccination against the lion exists, and yeah if you can vaccinate against an out of control lion, wouldn't you?

quote:

If there were a dangerous, clearly man-eating lion in a crowded tent, then yes, I would want to be sure that the audience could not be hurt by him. How is that a dumb decision? Hell he's even prioritizing their safety over his own.
Also, Biden has COVID? What?

quote:

If there's one things conservatives hate, it's massive clown entertainer Presidents

quote:

As red-state Republicans conduct an all-out assault on abortion rights, Democrats are trying to rally their troops to fight back. Democratic unity is being undercut, though, by a fervent faction on the party’s left, including New York U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, that insists abortion should no longer be called a woman’s issue.

Their concern? The transgender people who are capable of having babies but who do not identify as women.

Apparently, some on the left are willing to compromise the urgent need to defend a woman’s right to choose in order to play a semantic game. Yes, a tiny number of people among the million or so trans folks in America can and do produce offspring and might also opt for abortion to keep from having babies. At some time, there might be an interesting discussion to be had about whether it is a pressing need to acknowledge that fact, even though 99.9% of births, as well as abortions, involve women. But this ain’t the time.

Nothing would confirm that Democrats are out of touch with average voters more than the inability of Democratic politicians to articulate a broad generalization: Women have babies; men do not.

This semantic obsession among activists and academics on the left often seems less like an important corrective to long-time discrimination than a game of gotcha in which less “woke” persons – especially old-time liberals – can be intimidated into deference. Over several decades, terms such as homosexual, Negro and Indian were sensibly replaced with gay, Black and Native American. In the last few years, the change in terminology has speeded up. Gay and lesbian morphed into an ever-expanding list of letters, currently LGBTQIA2+. People of color also was altered by the same obsessively-inclusive shorthand; the au courant term is now BIPOC (Black, Indigenous and people of color).

Also, if you failed to get the memo, Latino is out; Latinx is in. The fact that a majority of Latinos are perfectly happy with that culturally congruent term and don’t like having an awkward “x” slapped on the end of their identifier or that a great number of American Indian tribes stubbornly resist being called something else does not seem to matter to the militant semanticists. To them, showy ideological purity seems to be more important than building a broad political coalition.

There’s a word for that: arrogance.

quote:

Yes, Horsey, shut da gently caress up!!

quote:

quote:

I know this thread gives plenty of examples, but it's almost incredible to see a professional political cartoonist this incompetent at art.

quote:

So the Church of Science provides free masks, free vaccines, and free food to those in need? This place is great! That plague doctor is a cool dude.

quote:

"Also, you're a terrible father."

quote:

Gay men make better fathers

quote:

While I'm sure it doesn't have much of a chance at year's end, something about this one really pisses me off more than a load of more overtly offensive ones, so I don't want to see it passed over.

quote:

I'd go for most easily reinterpreted- if we didn't know what we do about the author, a Republican talking point defeated plus murder and manslaughter versus two very dubious credits would leave me to think we're supposed to side with the coyote.

quote:

kelley's nomination

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I hate Illinois Indiana nazis.

quote:

The Beat Goes On
White supremacy and systemic racism are almost nonexistent but it’s the only tool the Dems have.

quote:

Because the Salvation Army is a poo poo organization run by poo poo people.

quote:

Skios: I can see how this cartoon can be read that way, but given the artist's history, I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, especially since it refers to two specific things - Lauren Boebert 'joking' to her security staff when Ilhan Omar approached an elevator she was in: "It's okay guys, we're safe, she doesn't have a backpack." and, y'know, the whole January sixth thing. It feels pretty obvious to me that the fear of the person on the right in this cartoon is meant to be the much more realistic one.

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Yeah, the point this cartoonist is trying to make is definitely ""One of these things actually happened.""
But it doesn't really stick the landing.

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It's because the thought on the right is way too long and out of context sounds fantastical. It should've just been something like "I hope that white guy doesn't attack me just because I'm muslim" which is both easy to understand and also a plausible thought to have in that scenario

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I mean, yeah? Both of those people suck and did crimes.

What exactly is this one trying to say?

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I think he's whining about men being treated unfairly when it comes to allegations of abuse. How can you say you should "believe women" when this one woman is a nonce? Checkmate, liberals.

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I think he's just saying Chris Cuomo (noted democrat) is as bad as Ghislaine Maxwell, someone who's entirely famous for being a sexual trafficker. It's not like Maxwell is a famous right-winger.

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WORST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER Democratic Senator Joe Manchin said he will not vote for Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ $2.2 trillion social safety net and Green New Deal bill despite his earlier meetings with Joe. Many thought an agreement had been hammered out. Manchin has shown more principle than McConnell, but will he continue to hold his ground? I wouldn’t be surprised to see him vote ‘yes’ once the spending amount is cut down to something that might appear to be more reasonable and less ridiculous. (It will still be ridiculous, though.) Perhaps this is all theater. Remember, Manchin voted ‘yes’ on Trump’s impeachment: “Today I voted guilty on the articles of impeachment brought against former President Trump to hold him accountable for his seditious actions and words that threatened our democracy.” Manchin spouts the usual blather about ‘our democracy,’ when in reality we are a republic. “Our democracy” is a buzz phrase for ‘our socialism.’ I suspect Manchin wants socialism—he’s not a ‘moderate.’ Let’s keep that in mind amid all the praise currently being showered upon him by conservatives. Sure, it’s nice to see someone stand up against the spending machine and I’ll be happy to be proven wrong. If I am wrong and Manchin can’t be swayed, look for more Republican RINOs to come to Joe’s aid. I’m sorry for being cynical, but the New World Order seems tough to stop at this point. They have all the money in the world and they don’t hesitate to exert influence and political pressure to achieve their dark ends. — Ben “Glass Half Empty” Garrison

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Seriously, without his accompanying rant, is there any way to see Manchin the rear end faced reindeer as anything but the antagonist in this?

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So...US Border Security lets through what is supposed to be let through, and stops the things that aren't?

Holy poo poo this is a loving terrible metaphor.

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Border Security only lets the finest through. A Still Problematic Cartoon

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Commuter disruption as climate activists begin week-long 'autumn rebellion' (The Age). The usual crowd have been using the floods as an argument against climate change.

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I knew it was coming and yet, this surpassed my expectations in referencing something that made people angry about 6 months ago just to really rub in the "Wow, flooding and cold temperatures. So much for global warming" 

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How can the climate be changing when we're having unprecedented natural disasters and inexplicable weather fluctuations???

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Holy poo poo.

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This is his holding pattern cartoon where he waits to see whether the shooter was just a lone wolf who had a bad day and played too many video games, or a radical anti-American terrorist

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Friendly reminder that America did far more damage to itself in retaliation for 9/11, and out of fear of it happening again, than the terrorist could have ever dreamed of doing on their own. The country would be objectively better off today if we had just tightened our internal security a bit and then moved on. This is, naturally, in addition to the colossal damage inflicted on other countries and people almost all of which had nothing to do with the attack.

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Is there a Kellies nomination: biggest suck-up to Capital?

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So here's the thing, because I've got quite a bit of rage and a keyboard, I've got thoughts to get out, and sorry but this is going to get uncomfortable, might want to keep scrolling:

Someone doesn't have a think one day and go ""man, I feel guilty, I'd better go eat a bullet"". They don't spend twenty minutes crying in the shower and that's that. They don't have a bad dream, wake up with a Sad, and then go end their existence. Unlike the World of Ted Rall, in which Ted looks at statistics and goes ""ah, it is only just, why don't more kids go kill themselves while I, Ted Rall, draw a cartoon about how much I don't care"", the real world contains people in excruciating pain who see no possible means of escape. Maybe they have no one they feel they can turn to. Maybe they're too ashamed to tell people. Maybe they have no access to medical treatment and therapy. Maybe they have all of those things, but they're in so much pain that they feel they don't deserve any of them. Maybe they run into a Ted Rall who is too busy sniffing his own farts and looking down from on high, who draws a cartoon like this and doesn't once think about what happens when one of the people in this situation looks at his lovely art and his shittier takes and sees nothing but confirmation of what their brain is already telling them, namely that they're entirely correct and the world is better off without them. I'm not just talking about military personnel with that last either; someone being that loving dismissive, even encouraging, of suicide is harmful to anyone in such a situation, because, again, unlike the World of Ted Rall and his Good Opinion Facts, in the real world wherein there are real people the traumatized and mentally ill don't sit about rationally contemplating the horrors going through their head.

Because suicide is horrifying. Everything surrounding suicide is horrifying. Suicide is the last stage of a disease that kills far, far, far more people than society ever admits. In fact, society usually encourages it. The disease is shameful; sufferers want to hide it away, not tell people, never tell people, because if you tell someone then they'll know, they'll treat you differently, they'll judge you, you'll cause them pain (and, your brain tells you, you are already causing them too much pain by existing). If you tell someone then you have to admit you have it, and if you admit you have it, that means you're crazy. That means you're weak. That means you're all the things you're already being told you are. That means you have to go and tell other people, you have to go talk to a stranger with a medical degree and tell them your deepest darkest thoughts, and you have to do that without sugarcoating it, without downplaying how you feel because it's probably not that bad, no one should worry about you, you're exaggerating and making a big deal and you're just not worth any of it. And it doesn't end when the disease kills a person, because everyone around them, everyone who cared, whether they tried to help or not, whether they knew or not, now all of those people are in horrible pain, and that pain might not ever end either.

Fun fact, did you know that ""suicide survivor"" can also refer to friends and family that were close to the victim? Ted Rall sure doesn't! Other things Ted Rall neither knows nor cares about : PTSD is not uncommon, years of therapy is even less uncommon, and it's a very real possibility that somewhere down the line a suicide survivor doesn't actually survive it. But wait, there's more! Suicide is shameful. If someone dies of cancer or a car crash, you can tell people they died of cancer or a car crash, and at no point is anyone going to tell you that your dead loved one was weak, or selfish, or a coward, at no point are they going to look at you and tell you that the person you're mourning is going to hell. Suicide? You want to hide it. Quietly tuck it away. You dread mentioning the person who died because someone is going to ask how. You're afraid to seek help, because people are going to judge you, and worse they're going to judge the person you lost.

Like, oh, I don't know, Ted ""needle shark fucker"" Rall, who is here to tell you that the balm for unending death, loss, and pain is even more unending death, loss, and pain, let's just (poorly) draw some sad people burying loved ones and going ""yes, I approve of other people going through this, more of that"", because I am absolutely one hundred percent certain that none of the dead loved ones they're burying went out the same way, and they're all as callous and stupid as a man who draws a drone firing a missile that's roughly the same size from bomb doors that it could never fit through and for gently caress's sake it took me three looks before I realized it wasn't the world's most poorly sketched bird dropping a gigantic poo poo why are you so loving bad at this, Ted.

I'm sure there are people out there as depicted in this Terrible Garbage Cartoon who feel this is the closest thing to justice they'll ever get, and I'm not going to judge them over it (wow am I not going to judge them over it) but those people are not this shithead, who never seems to have had a human emotion in his life because he's too busy being a smugness elemental who thinks coffins look like mint tins.

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As someone with a long history of various mental illnesses, suicide attempts, and family suicide who was recently diagnosed with PTSD (Not the combat kind, I'm not on the top tier of "gently caress you, Ted" as them), thanks for posting this even though it was tough to read. People need to hear how this happens, and I could do 3 ted talks off the top of my head about my thoughts on the word "crazy".

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I finally overcame all the guilt and shame I felt around my depression to be able to seek help. I can definitely attest to how damaging words like ""crazy"" can be, especially when they come from family. I think most people struggling just want someone to listen, and all to often people will respond dismissively, telling you that you are crazy, ""that's just life, get over it,"" ""stop being a victim,"" ""bootstrap yourself out"" etc. If it were that easy, you would have done it.
For anyone else struggling, your experience is absolutely valid, and its doesn't matter that you didn't fight in war, all trauma is real trauma. I was 30 years old when I realized PTSD isn't something only war vets get. PTSD doesn't haven't to be a single traumatic event either, it can be a reoccurrence of several smaller ones, which are often times harder to see. Its a real hell to try and deal with it alone, find someone to help you.
And to anyone who knows someone that is struggling, or even someone that is quick to angry outbursts. Remember that they are human, we all are. Try to see them as a wounded child, not a crazy adult. Try to connect with empathy and make them feel heard and validated. Encourage them to get professional help too, but not through shame.

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Was wondering when someone was going to get to this.

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See Only Evil
There are none so blind as those who will not see… Rittenhouse Shoots 3 white guys and the leftist MS media tries to turn it into a race war.

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What is this poo poo?

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well you know how the marching orders are to insist that any criticism of rittenhouse is media libel?

mccoy probably just skimmed them and thought he was supposed to use his medium to libel the victims

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Gotta do a calm Hitler cartoon in this style

""Gee maw they say this Adolf Hitler guy is bad and isn't a hero right, but hasn't he restored our national volkish spirit, cleaned up the parliament, defended our country from internal wreckers and parasites, protected private property from the Bolshevik threat, restored honor to the national military, made Germany respected on the world stage, united the German people into a single homeland, and given us a shining vision of the future for the next thousand years?""
""Why yes he has son, yes he has""
""Gosh golly gee maw, he sure sounds like a hero to me!""

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Just a casual conversation between a mom and her son who casually mentions his rape by a man

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“Like the guy who raped me.” God drat. He found something worse than having a black character say his talking points for him.

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""like the guy who raped me"".

What the flying gently caress is going on in this cartoon's world, McCoy's head, and the brain of conservatives who are using this as a talking point?

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Get metastatic colon cancer you lying shitstain.

https://reason.com/2021/11/22/conservatives-should-resist-the-urge-to-blame-bail-reform-for-the-waukesha-parade-deaths/

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he made the badge say Turd instead of Ford


Two Pulitzers

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You know what, gently caress it. This is just so loving stupid in so many ways.

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Planes are shaped like beluga whales, right?

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Who in the world is this man who's riding Biden?

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It's pretty horrifying that Fishman's literate enough to know how a lot of the lingo is used but then applies it in the exact opposite of reality context of this particular speech.

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very funny to have a powerful white man explain why only powerful white men matter is good, actually,

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Universal thinks Harry Potter and Peter Parker are historical figures, or Ratman actually believes the Biblical Flood is fiction.

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I don't know, seeing the author stand-in barely out-argue a strawman deliberately written to be even dumber is really bringing me around!!

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How can I be racist if the person I drew to say all of my beliefs is black?? Checkmate libs.

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Just bravo, bravo.

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Literally the dumbest argument I've ever seen in this entire thread.
Also one of the most stark caricatures I've seen. Not against a specific kind of woman, even, but just against ""woman"". Against all women. It is a woman caricature.

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I guess we know which Pixar short Gary saw recently.

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Blame He Who Must Be Named Donald Trump has not been president of United States for well over six months, yet Democrats continue to blame him for everything that goes wrong. How long will they be able to place blame before taking responsibility?

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If you can't completely turn a bitter country around in one year what are you even doing?

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That PC is basically just a far worse version of this Garfield cartoon from 1978

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holy poo poo what a stupid argument, identifying shapes isn't in a job interview, obviously teaching that to kids must be a waste of time

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Gary McCoy sucks at art, metaphor, and has lovely opinions on top of it. Maybe having a good foundation could have helped him out.

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It's simple, why both teaching the poors anything extra except what they need to know to work at Amazon or McDonald's or w/e

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While I'm sure it doesn't have much of a chance at year's end, something about this one really pisses me off more than a load of more overtly offensive ones, so I don't want to see it passed over.

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I love how Stantis actually brings up ignoring the AIDS epidemic and tries to follow it up with ""But on balance""

Like, even if you ignore the horrifying politics surrounding the decision, over 700,000 people have died in the US alone, many of these deaths could have been prevented if decisive action had been taken early on.
The fact that he actively ignored the epidemic is already unforgivable.

But when you look at the politics you realize that he and the other higher ups seriously hoped that the epidemic would be the answer to gays existing.
They wanted AIDS to kill off the gay community, so they stood by and did nothing.
So, to put this simply:

You can't balance out genocide you gently caress!

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We Will Keep Fighting for Your Right to Vote for Us
Democrats oppose Republican schemes to make it harder to vote. No one can argue with that. But what’s the point of voting if it doesn’t lead to meaningful change?

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I don't think Rall reads the news. A good quality in an editorial cartoonist.

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This man's brain is an extra-dimensional hypersphere spinning frictionlessly, blissfully.

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Wait lol that comic is anti infrastructure? He just wants the bridge to collapse under him because temporary lane closures are annoying?

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The original talking point behind the empty thought bubble was ""old white people don't be fooled by Biden's outwardly comforting appearance of a cop-loving racist old white man, for you see he is an incontinent senile puppet of a SCARY BLACK MAN Obama or maybe even a WOMAN!""

But since then they've been working themselves into a frothing hatred of Biden personally. Branco has forgotten why he included the blank thought bubble in the first place so he's still drawing it in as he draws Biden doing the evil communist mastermind stuff directly and deliberately even though it makes no sense.

quote:

Overwhelmed
Illegal immigrants along with MS-13, Drugs, crime, Human trafficking, and Covid pouring across the border have Biden building a wall around his house.

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Simultaneously depicting him as being a wilful deadly threat and having an empty thought bubble is peak

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I didn't know Biden employed goblins in the White House, definitely a big mistake though since you can't trust goblins, as you can tell by this one lying to him.

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I can think of no better backdrop for my "I can't buy poo poo because inflation" toon than the movie that is well known for its anti-commercial message.

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But...the tree...the whole point of the...oh what's the use.

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I don't know for which category, but I feel like this needs to be a Worst Something. It's just so goddamn dumb.

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Literal opposite of reality over here. Joy: conservatives want to ban video games and porn all the loving time and basically just hate fun Love: conservatives want to ban sex before marriage and any non-traditional relationships all the loving time and basically just hate romance Peace: don't get me started

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Not gonna lie, I definitely want a MISERY Hatred DISCORD shirt.

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https://media0.giphy.com/media/3ohA2PWSIXIApLxLHi/giphy.gif

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I never thought I'd ever bother to do this again but Jesus loving making GBS threads Christ.

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George Floyd had a violent, drug-riddled criminal history. He was convicted of armed robbery and served time in prison. Big and muscular, he worked as a bouncer at a Minneapolis night club.

Still, when I saw him trapped under the knee of a cop and begging for mercy, I was outraged. Clearly the police officer had choked Floyd to death. I drew a cartoon to express my disgust. I thought it was an open and shut case—shocking police brutality, then murder.

Yet at the time I didn’t know the entire story. Tucker Carlson recently showed additional video footage on his program. Something was clearly wrong with Floyd as he sat in his car and begged not to be shot. He was already panicking before the police laid a finger on him. The cops calmly promised they wouldn’t shoot him—they simply wanted to question him for passing a counterfeit bill. Floyd kept begging for mercy and the police eventually asked him if he was ‘on’ something. It was that obvious. It was unlikely Floyd was even fit to drive.

As it turned out, Floyd had a tremendous amount of Fentanyl in his body, along with methamphetamine. Fentanyl is a synthetic opioid drug known to be very dangerous. Most of it is produced in China and shipped to America via Mexico.

To my surprise, the police officer was using acceptable and department-approved procedure with his knee maneuver. Supposedly it was ’safe.’ That strikes me as absurd, but a drug addled Floyd could easily have died from Fentanyl. The stress he was under probably triggered life-ending symptoms.

Here are symptoms of a Fentanyl overdose:

Low blood pressure
Drowsiness
Dizziness
Limp body
Slowed or stopped breathing
Decreased heart rate
Reduced or loss of consciousness
Coma

Of course, the left and their ‘fact checking’ sites will tell us drugs had nothing to do with Floyd’s death. His martyrdom must be protected! The socialists used Floyd’s death to incite the BLM and Antifa to burn, loot, and destroy cities across America last summer. We were told Floyd was a saint, a great father, and an all-around exemplary human being. Clearly he wasn’t the latter, but regardless, he didn’t deserve to die in the street in such a manner. The City of Minneapolis admitted this when they awarded Floyd’s family a record $27 million payout.

If the police officer is found not guilty, look for the socialists to go on a violent rampage once again.

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I had no idea what this is referring to, as the only thing I can find about $630 million is it going towards environmental items such as parks and then towards the arts. I had to visit a right-wing site to see that arts bit includes LGBT PEOPLE DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find two beehives to wear over my chest because I’m very current with the latest in transgender fashion.

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Hell yeah. I love how all these people tell on themselves by drawing the US taxpayer as a tubby white guy probably 10-15 years younger than they are and with a fuller head of hair, but always in male boomer fashion favorites like t-shirts tucked into jeans or the khakis/polo combo.

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“WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD IS RUNNING TOWARDS A CLIFF, HE WHO IS RUNNING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION APPEARS TO HAVE LOST HIS MIND.”
― C. S. LEWIS

The globalist ruling caste and their mass media want you to take COVID-19 shots. Right now! Don’t think—just do it. Unfortunately too many are robotically getting the jabs even though there have been many reports of the recipients dropping dead shortly thereafter.

I read about New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and what she said regarding enforcing her COVID-19 mandates. She said she wasn’t worried—the people would take care of most of it. And they did, just like they’ve done here in America. Peer pressure and fear are bad combinations and there are always ‘Karens,’ both male and female, who will hector those not following the ‘new normal.’ One of those so-called ‘normals’ is wearing a mask and it’s anything but normal. It does nothing to halt a virus and causes many other problems. They are also dehumanizing. I had one of these people hijack me in the parking lot of local grocery store. He was grumpy and accusatory—“Why aren’t you wearing a mask?,” he barked. I wasn’t even in the store, but perhaps he saw me inside shopping–sans mask. I quickly realized I didn’t want to argue the merits of mask wearing with a complete stranger, but his audacity angered me. I considered him to be an ignorant ‘maskhole.’

Brainwashed people such as the maskhole do the enforcement work for Bill Gates. He uses such people as weapons of mass stupidity.

Another group can be called ‘virtue signalers.’ They will gladly take any and all vaccinations without question or reflection. They trust ‘science.’ Scientists will always treat their health as their paramount concern, right? Wrong. The big vaccine makers are concerned with making billions of dollars first and foremost. They are also protected from prosecution if their vaccines cause harm. They can’t be sued, which means they can take short cuts. Unaccountability does not go hand in hand with safety. A few thousand drop dead from their experimental concoctions? Have the mainstream media ignore such stories. Vaccine makers also use paid operatives to attack whistleblowers.

Amazingly, even those who suffered severe side effects will often claim that they are proud of getting the shots and would do it again. Ben Stein is an example.

The globalists are marshaling all forces to brainwash people into getting the dangerous inoculations. Even religious figures such as Franklin Graham (son of Billy Graham) who proudly calls himself a globalist for Jesus. He said everyone should get the shots and claimed Jesus Himself would support the experimental vaccines. Considering that most vaccine makers add aborted fetal tissue to their product sort of makes me think that Jesus may not approve. He would also not approve of experimental gene therapy on millions of humans who have perfectly adequate immune systems.

Finally, Joe Biden allows anyone to waltz into our country without testing, vaccinations, IDs, or passports…yet he wants Americans to get a vaccine passport to identify themselves as jab recipients before they can enjoy freedom. It’s a gross violation of our Fourth Amendment, but Bill Gates and China want it, so Biden is pushing it. He wants no ID as a prerequisite for voting, however.

Fauci and Gates helped China develop the virus in the first place. They are traitors. LOCK THEM UP!

—Ben Garrison

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A Bad Hand: Some are feeling tinges of “mark of the beast” in Biden’s call for vaccine Passports.

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"I'm exactly like Jesus because people got mad at my racism" sure is a hell of a take.

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There is no prick in this entire loving country that I want to punch more than Michael Leunig. 

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Oh look, the fire Ramirez needs to die in.

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Great loving timing on this one today, Ramirez.

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Also the really strong implication that young Black children are disconnected from their communities and that Black people aren't thinking through their actions

gently caress that Ramirez is really, really bad

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okay, im officially in ""if i see Ramirez in real life i dont think i could stop myself from beating the poo poo out of him until someone physically pulls me off of him."" territory

Like.. didnt the kid literally get shot because he did the hands up when he was told hands up

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That's blatant. That's it. There's nothing subtle about it. They couldn't possibly run that.

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Christopher Columbus, noted for his complete lack of murder.

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I reflexively stuck my middle finger at my monitor upon seeing this.

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Holy shiiit if there was ever a reason for him to get the gently caress fired out of a cannon.

Also, Christians are probably the last people who would benefit if we started to showcase cultures solely from their worst sides.

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I don't think it's going to beat out Ramirez, since Lester is only good at beating his wife, but it's still a contender.

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1) The only reason Lester cares about the detention and abuse of Uighurs in China is because it's a way for him to say China Bad. If it were happening in any other country he wouldn't give a poo poo about a Muslim population being oppressed.
2) Note the bartender, who is Black-coded and is playing the role of ""background character who agrees with Lester and is looking into the camera to indicate this"". (Lester often includes this character in his cartoons; when he's talking about race the character is almost always Black or Black-coded.)
3) Note the difference in skin tones between the first and second speakers; the second is clearly meant to be Standard White Person, and the first is...

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Holy poo poo, gently caress you Lester.

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I can only read that Lester as "THIS IS WHAT CONSERVATIVES ACTUALLY BELIEVE". We're led to think he's a hypocrite liberal, but this is just face value conservative gatekeeping.

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He's going for a double ""You're the real racist.""

Hypocritical libs and black people are both the Real Racists because they both think that slavery only ever happened to Africans.
It's on the same Greatest Hits album as ""Actually, the Africans are the ones who were doing the most selling other Africans to the whites"" and ""Irish people can't be racist because they were also slaves""

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Jesus Christ these people are just reveling in any excuse to be racist.

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Also allow me to say gently caress you Branco, you racist turd

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Really not sure how Maxine Water's comments impacted the trial as the jury was supposed to be sequestered in the first place. But yes, thank you for acknowledging all of this was because of someone kneeling on another person's neck, you racist piece of poo poo. I can only hope that you suffer a karmic death at the hands of the police you love so much.

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It's just so loving weak. It's a pathetic cartoon. Like, scraping the bottom of the barrel so hard you wore a hole through it.

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It's not as lazy as Gorrell but Gorrell has never drawn a good cartoon so it's more disappointing

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Approaching Prickly City levels of pointless nothing.

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Makes me long for the days of fallen letters and builders

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Blame Joe Manchin for Everything Joe Manchin, the Democratic senator from West Virginia who makes headlines for voting with the Republicans on important issues, gets attacked a lot by Democrats who help to saddle him with the blame for their lack of legislative achievements.

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This almost deserves a Worst Cartoon nomination based on the art alone, this is abominable even by the artist's standards.

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I guess that's M.C. Escher's garage.
gently caress, the back seats of that car is front of the back door and that car in the back and the lifters

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Uh, I'm pretty sure Rall's art is "stylized," so it's automatically immune to all criticism. Sorry.

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Look at the hood on that piss-yellow car. Behind the dude it seems to be fully twisted about 40 degrees before it attaches to the car

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Didn't notice that, it has hinge in the corner of the hood or something. So horrible picture that I can't stop looking at it.

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Is... is that car being lifted by 3 poles? ...don't answer that, this is a Rall, of COURSE it is.

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Maybe a fourth one is directly behind another, completely obscured, because the geometry is so hyperfucked it could just as well be anywhere

It could be a loving tangent ray that curves toroidally around the universe and it would make only slightly less sense

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I mean, compared to the racist/homophobic/xenophobic/misogynistic competition it's going to have, this comic is just so bafflingly stupid on every level that I feel I had to nominate it.

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"Okay here we go."

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I didn't know we were literally setting the unvaccinated on fire. Maybe that'll increase the social pressure to get the jab.

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I feel like there should be a Kellies category for "I fuckin' wish".

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Just bravo, bravo.

quote:

Literally the dumbest argument I've ever seen in this entire thread.
Also one of the most stark caricatures I've seen. Not against a specific kind of woman, even, but just against ""woman"". Against all women. It is a woman caricature.

quote:

I guess we know which Pixar short Gary saw recently.

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The Beat Goes On The Left is outraged over the Texas Fetal Heartbeat law, but if babies in the womb could talk.

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Those drat talking fetuses! Always sneaking tiny signs into the womb!

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gently caress youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Also hey, fetus in a void, because once again right wing political cartoonists don't give a poo poo about women.

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Presumably that baby is unwanted so I hope it loves Texas' adoption system, which I assume is extremely robust and humane???

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I can not get over how bad of a loving take this is.

Sorry Fishman, I can't hear that unifying spirit of shared humanity over the sound of exploded Afghan children. gently caress you.

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The giant dent in the tower silhouette is really jarring somehow

quote:

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Just gently caress off Ramirez. Even taken in its most generous reading, it’s a horribly executed cartoon. I hate it.

quote:

It's the same dumb setup for a bunch of other stupid right wing comics. Like there's a problem with increasing crime, and those clowns in congress's solution is to defund the police, the implication being that the correct solution is to jail/murder all the criminals. Or something like that. It's like Lester just instinctively used that format without even thinking about it.

But I'd also believe that Lester thinks that covid and the vaccines are completely detached from each other.

quote:

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Sometimes Gorrell's incompetence and laziness mix into something astounding

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It’s always easy to tell when Ramirez is super mad about something. In this case…refugees.

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This cartoon didn't get published by The Age or Sydney Herald.

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Abject artistic ineptitude deserves to be awarded.

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If you can't visually evoke the tiananmen square tankman without also providing a photograph it's time to pack up the art supplies.

quote:

Jesus Christ

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This is some Uncle Ruckus level racial self loathing, godDAMN.

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Looking forward to Ramirez' 4th of july cartoon where he will tackle all the evil poo poo that USA did.

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This picture but its columbus cutting off native americans hands because he thought he was god

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Christopher Columbus, noted for his complete lack of murder.

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I reflexively stuck my middle finger at my monitor upon seeing this.

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Holy shiiit if there was ever a reason for him to get the gently caress fired out of a cannon.

Also, Christians are probably the last people who would benefit if we started to showcase cultures solely from their worst sides.

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So here's the thing, because I've got quite a bit of rage and a keyboard, I've got thoughts to get out, and sorry but this is going to get uncomfortable, might want to keep scrolling:

Someone doesn't have a think one day and go ""man, I feel guilty, I'd better go eat a bullet"". They don't spend twenty minutes crying in the shower and that's that. They don't have a bad dream, wake up with a Sad, and then go end their existence. Unlike the World of Ted Rall, in which Ted looks at statistics and goes ""ah, it is only just, why don't more kids go kill themselves while I, Ted Rall, draw a cartoon about how much I don't care"", the real world contains people in excruciating pain who see no possible means of escape. Maybe they have no one they feel they can turn to. Maybe they're too ashamed to tell people. Maybe they have no access to medical treatment and therapy. Maybe they have all of those things, but they're in so much pain that they feel they don't deserve any of them. Maybe they run into a Ted Rall who is too busy sniffing his own farts and looking down from on high, who draws a cartoon like this and doesn't once think about what happens when one of the people in this situation looks at his lovely art and his shittier takes and sees nothing but confirmation of what their brain is already telling them, namely that they're entirely correct and the world is better off without them. I'm not just talking about military personnel with that last either; someone being that loving dismissive, even encouraging, of suicide is harmful to anyone in such a situation, because, again, unlike the World of Ted Rall and his Good Opinion Facts, in the real world wherein there are real people the traumatized and mentally ill don't sit about rationally contemplating the horrors going through their head.

Because suicide is horrifying. Everything surrounding suicide is horrifying. Suicide is the last stage of a disease that kills far, far, far more people than society ever admits. In fact, society usually encourages it. The disease is shameful; sufferers want to hide it away, not tell people, never tell people, because if you tell someone then they'll know, they'll treat you differently, they'll judge you, you'll cause them pain (and, your brain tells you, you are already causing them too much pain by existing). If you tell someone then you have to admit you have it, and if you admit you have it, that means you're crazy. That means you're weak. That means you're all the things you're already being told you are. That means you have to go and tell other people, you have to go talk to a stranger with a medical degree and tell them your deepest darkest thoughts, and you have to do that without sugarcoating it, without downplaying how you feel because it's probably not that bad, no one should worry about you, you're exaggerating and making a big deal and you're just not worth any of it. And it doesn't end when the disease kills a person, because everyone around them, everyone who cared, whether they tried to help or not, whether they knew or not, now all of those people are in horrible pain, and that pain might not ever end either.

Fun fact, did you know that ""suicide survivor"" can also refer to friends and family that were close to the victim? Ted Rall sure doesn't! Other things Ted Rall neither knows nor cares about : PTSD is not uncommon, years of therapy is even less uncommon, and it's a very real possibility that somewhere down the line a suicide survivor doesn't actually survive it. But wait, there's more! Suicide is shameful. If someone dies of cancer or a car crash, you can tell people they died of cancer or a car crash, and at no point is anyone going to tell you that your dead loved one was weak, or selfish, or a coward, at no point are they going to look at you and tell you that the person you're mourning is going to hell. Suicide? You want to hide it. Quietly tuck it away. You dread mentioning the person who died because someone is going to ask how. You're afraid to seek help, because people are going to judge you, and worse they're going to judge the person you lost.

Like, oh, I don't know, Ted ""needle shark fucker"" Rall, who is here to tell you that the balm for unending death, loss, and pain is even more unending death, loss, and pain, let's just (poorly) draw some sad people burying loved ones and going ""yes, I approve of other people going through this, more of that"", because I am absolutely one hundred percent certain that none of the dead loved ones they're burying went out the same way, and they're all as callous and stupid as a man who draws a drone firing a missile that's roughly the same size from bomb doors that it could never fit through and for gently caress's sake it took me three looks before I realized it wasn't the world's most poorly sketched bird dropping a gigantic poo poo why are you so loving bad at this, Ted.

I'm sure there are people out there as depicted in this Terrible Garbage Cartoon who feel this is the closest thing to justice they'll ever get, and I'm not going to judge them over it (wow am I not going to judge them over it) but those people are not this shithead, who never seems to have had a human emotion in his life because he's too busy being a smugness elemental who thinks coffins look like mint tins.

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As someone with a long history of various mental illnesses, suicide attempts, and family suicide who was recently diagnosed with PTSD (Not the combat kind, I'm not on the top tier of "gently caress you, Ted" as them), thanks for posting this even though it was tough to read. People need to hear how this happens, and I could do 3 ted talks off the top of my head about my thoughts on the word "crazy".

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I finally overcame all the guilt and shame I felt around my depression to be able to seek help. I can definitely attest to how damaging words like ""crazy"" can be, especially when they come from family. I think most people struggling just want someone to listen, and all to often people will respond dismissively, telling you that you are crazy, ""that's just life, get over it,"" ""stop being a victim,"" ""bootstrap yourself out"" etc. If it were that easy, you would have done it.
For anyone else struggling, your experience is absolutely valid, and its doesn't matter that you didn't fight in war, all trauma is real trauma. I was 30 years old when I realized PTSD isn't something only war vets get. PTSD doesn't haven't to be a single traumatic event either, it can be a reoccurrence of several smaller ones, which are often times harder to see. Its a real hell to try and deal with it alone, find someone to help you.
And to anyone who knows someone that is struggling, or even someone that is quick to angry outbursts. Remember that they are human, we all are. Try to see them as a wounded child, not a crazy adult. Try to connect with empathy and make them feel heard and validated. Encourage them to get professional help too, but not through shame.

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I hope Ted Rall steps on all the Lego blocks ever. Barefoot. While suffering from incurable gout.

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a child in the midwest has graduated high school. however, there are no entry-level jobs that only require a high school education. a military recruiter whispers some sweet words in that child's ear and offers to pay for their education and whisks that child away. the child is broken and beaten until they are obedient and loyal to the system that brought them here, and then they are given a gun and taught to kill. they witness and participate in unimaginable horrors over the course of years. and then one day they are allowed to come home, and they aren't the same child anymore. beaten and injured in mind and body, health care becomes a full-time job in itself. pharmaceutical corporations pump the child full of opioids until their bank account runs dry, and then they are left with nothing. used and abandoned and broken. a victim of not just the military but of the entire capitalist system that forced the child down this path.

gently caress you ted rall

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Thanks for reminding me that some 15 years ago a veteran in my extended family killed himself in my garage... So, gently caress You Ted Rall.

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While I'm sure it doesn't have much of a chance at year's end, something about this one really pisses me off more than a load of more overtly offensive ones, so I don't want to see it passed over.

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I love how Stantis actually brings up ignoring the AIDS epidemic and tries to follow it up with ""But on balance""

Like, even if you ignore the horrifying politics surrounding the decision, over 700,000 people have died in the US alone, many of these deaths could have been prevented if decisive action had been taken early on.
The fact that he actively ignored the epidemic is already unforgivable.

But when you look at the politics you realize that he and the other higher ups seriously hoped that the epidemic would be the answer to gays existing.
They wanted AIDS to kill off the gay community, so they stood by and did nothing.
So, to put this simply:

You can't balance out genocide you gently caress!

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What is this poo poo?

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well you know how the marching orders are to insist that any criticism of rittenhouse is media libel?

mccoy probably just skimmed them and thought he was supposed to use his medium to libel the victims

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Gotta do a calm Hitler cartoon in this style

""Gee maw they say this Adolf Hitler guy is bad and isn't a hero right, but hasn't he restored our national volkish spirit, cleaned up the parliament, defended our country from internal wreckers and parasites, protected private property from the Bolshevik threat, restored honor to the national military, made Germany respected on the world stage, united the German people into a single homeland, and given us a shining vision of the future for the next thousand years?""
""Why yes he has son, yes he has""
""Gosh golly gee maw, he sure sounds like a hero to me!""

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Just a casual conversation between a mom and her son who casually mentions his rape by a man

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“Like the guy who raped me.” God drat. He found something worse than having a black character say his talking points for him.

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""like the guy who raped me"".

What the flying gently caress is going on in this cartoon's world, McCoy's head, and the brain of conservatives who are using this as a talking point?

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hahah oh wow

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Sigh, why do we always get these last-minute contenders?

Twelve by Pies posted:

Hey real quick, I'm still going through the voting, but I wanted to ask a question. In the "Most Willfully Dense" section there's a McCoy with a guy saying "Dang I wish they hadn't blocked Biden's universal pre-K!" There's a few comments under it talking about Christopher Columbus/judging cultures based on their worst sides. There isn't a label there, so it isn't a simple missing image or the image not loading, whatever cartoon those comments referring to just doesn't seem to be there, unless they were mistakenly pasted in the wrong section or something.

e: After getting through all the nominees I'm guessing they're supposed to actually be attached to the Ramirez about Indigenous People's Day in the Worst Overall category, probably?

KennyMan666 posted:

Okay. Here we loving go. I'm at work anyway so what's a little more suffering

Most Easily Reinterpreted: R-275 (Holy goddamn this category was loving stacked)
Worst Cartoon about a Tragedy: TG-299 (Others are certainly more disgusting... but this is the lowest quality by far.)
Most Willfully Dense: WD-319 (Very close race between this and 311... and also a goddamned stacked category my loving god)
Worst Overall: WO-365 (340 was close... but I already voted for that exact loving cartoon in this category a year or two ago. 334 was a close third.)

Jesus dick this was quite a pile to get through.

KennyMan666 posted:

I'll take a look, should be fairly simple.

Edit: So here's the code for the first section of the 2019 Gaybies (the 2020 Kellies were never uploaded apparently):

code:

===Worst Can't Let Hillary/Obama Go Cartoon===

For the second year running, Ben Garrison takes this category, with 37% of the vote (a full 50%, actually, if you count the votes for his runner-up cartoon) going to his grotesque hatred of Hillary Clinton.

[[File:2019_hillary1.png|600px]]

Runners-up: 

[[File:2019_hillary2.png|250px]]

[[File:2019_hillary3.png|250px]]

So just insert the proper filenames after [[File:, no need to think about image size because the wiki then generates thumbnails with the specified pixel width.

So the template if you want to follow the same format is

code:

===CATEGORY NAME===

<text>

[[File:WINNER.xxx|600px]]

Runners-up:

[[File:RUNNER-UP1.xxx|250px]]

[[File:RUNNER-UP2.xxx|250px]]

Mass-uploading images isn't possible in the wiki software, I have no idea if it'll work if I upload them manually.

Captain France posted:

Hope it's not too late. Although I guess it doesn't matter too much since it was so hard to choose.

Charlz Guybon posted:

It's been more than two weeks, the results coming out soon?

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THERE ARE TWO GENDERS, MALE AND FEMALE. THAT IS ALL- CLAIMS OF ANYTHING ELSE IS MENTAL ILLNESS Senator Rand Paul questioned health nominee Rachel Levine on the process of gender ‘reassignment.’ Only there is no such thing as reassignment.

Wishful thinking and medical mutilation won’t change the fundamental DNA structure that resides in every cell of our bodies. Our sex is part of who we are—not an ‘assignment.’

One’s sex cannot be changed. Neither by means of surgery, nor hormones.

Yet for some reason we live in an age where the ’trans’ delusion is getting ’normalized.’ Wishful thinking is now considered science. We can’t debate the issue without being smeared as a hater or ’transphobic.’ Transgender people are the new sacred cows. One can no longer reasonably question the delusion. Government said so. Stooges representing science said so. Biden said so. Burly boys can claim to be girls and compete alongside them in sporting events—and they usually win. They also get to go into the girls’ locker rooms and we’re not supposed to question that, either.

As a libertarian I don’t care if men and women think they can transmogrify into the opposite sex. If they are adults and not hurting others, that’s their business. I do have a problem when it comes to minors wanting trans surgery and big government overruling parents who don’t want their kids mutilated. Teenagers aren’t mature enough to make such a life-changing and irreversible decision. It’s also why I don’t think children should be allowed to vote. They lack life experience and will usually vote for socialism and free stuff.

Senator Paul knows it’s impossible to ’transition’ from one sex to the opposite and he asked Levine simple and straightforward questions about whether we should allow children to make decisions that have permanent and major health implications—both mental and physical. Levine dithered. Paul finally stated it as clearly as he could:

“I’m alarmed that you’re not willing to say absolutely that minors shouldn’t be making decisions to amputate their breasts or to amputate their genitalia. For most of our history, we have believed that minors don’t have full rights and that parents need to be involved, so I’m alarmed that you won’t say with certainty that minors should not have the ability to make the decision to take hormones that will affect them for the rest of their life. Will you make a more firm decision on whether or not minors should be involved in these decisions?”

Levine still refused to answer the question and repeated “her” memorized statement:

“Senator, transgender medicine is a very complex and nuanced field. And if confirmed to the position of Assistant Secretary of Health, I would certainly be pleased to come to your office and talk with you and your staff about the standards of care and the complexity of this field.”

It’s not a complex and nuanced field. It’s not medicine. It’s doing harm to the bodies of children and doctors are supposed to do no harm. Why wouldn’t she answer the question? Her disingenuous response disqualifies her from office.

Paul was quickly attacked as being transphobic. We aren’t supposed to question the supposed science behind transgenderism because the trans people’s feelings might get hurt. To protect their feelings, any criticism of the transgender fad is labeled as ‘hate speech.’ Trans people have become a special caste and immune from any criticism whatsoever. A book that explained the transgender delusion was recently removed from Amazon. They said the book was ‘hate speech.’ This type of online book burning sets a very dangerous precedent.

We must be able to criticize government officials regardless of their race, religion, or sexual orientation. We must be able to debate and ask questions without fear of getting cancelled by identity politics.

—Ben Garrison

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New Teacher The Left wants to indoctrinate our kids with radical Ideas about sex and pornography.

” JeremoudCorbynejad“ posted:

U.S. Border security lets in anything white without an issue, showing it’s racial bias. AGC

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Parody of

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Hi, this is Don Asmussen’s obit.
I’ve spent most of my career in New England or San Francisco, which means that I’m drawn to the chowder industry, and that’s how I’ve made my various career choices. I created the San Francisco Comic Strip, Bad Reporter comic strip and various other comic strips that have appeared in The San Francisco Chronicle.

But mostly I’m proud of my daughters, Maxine and Tessa, who have kept me on the edge of sanity for the last 20 years. Whenever I needed an idea I inevitably went to them, and they kept supplying them. Hence, my productivity. So if there’s a joke that you’ve liked in the paper in the last few years, they probably wrote it. My wife, Kelly, also has written many of the jokes you’ve seen. So I’m basically just a hack.

But thank God my family had a sense of humor and could keep me on track through most of the past few years. Brain tumors are difficult to deal with, and I’ve been fortunate to be surrounded by such clever and intelligent people. I want to thank my family for keeping me on course, especially my wife, Kelly, for telling me when I’m being inappropriate, although she failed 85% of the time.

I’d also like to thank my two cats for their generous contributions, and my former wife, Amy, for keeping my daughter Maxine from trying to change the comic strip’s title to Vegan Weekly. In the end, you are what you eat, and the contents of my comic strips have hopefully reflected that.

P.S. I’d also like to thank former Chronicle editor Phil Bronstein for his advice on the best seafood and on the direction of my work for the first 10 years of my comic strip.
— Don Asmussen

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Kelly Zito remembers the time a few years ago, when her husband Don Asmussen literally found some humor in the trash.

She had brushed one of their cats, and disposed of a giant ball of hair. Where the rest of us would have lifted the lid of that can and seen waste, Asmussen saw an opportunity for comedy.

“So he balled it up, and then put a couple of googly eyes on it, and then got a little tiny bowl of water, and just put it in the house,” Zito remembers, laughing. “I was like, ‘What the hell?’ and he was deadpan. ‘Oh, that’s our new cat.’”

Asmussen, who drew cartoons and illustrations for The San Francisco Chronicle, died on Thursday, Dec. 9 at age 59. He entertained audiences around the world with his syndicated Bad Reporter comic, San Francisco Comic Strip and other local and national projects.

Asmussen’s wit had no off switch. His explorations of humor, cartooning and design were a complete lifestyle, whether he was working on a strip about a Supreme Court ruling that might be seen by hundreds of thousands of readers, or designing an in-house goodbye card for a retiring Chronicle copy editor that might be viewed by 15 staff members. Visual art was his preferred method of communication, in work and in life. I shared an alcove office with him for eight years, and there was never a day I didn’t laugh.

Asmussen was born in Rhode Island, where he developed a love for the Boston Red Sox and a distrust for politicians and newsmakers who took themselves too seriously. He worked briefly on the East Coast in advertising and as a newspaper designer. Then he went on a search for a place that would nurture his offbeat humor, and — after stops in Detroit and San Diego — found it in San Francisco, where he spent the last 26 years of his career.

Former Chronicle Books Editor Oscar Villalon bonded with Asmussen over their interest in literature and popular culture — the more obscure the better. The cartoonist knew “The Love Boat” plots and was fascinated by comedians who ended up on “Hollywood Squares.” Asmussen loved to talk about the 1970s soft rock band Bread.

“Don is absolutely singular, as much as (iconic Chronicle columnist) Herb Caen,” said Villalon, now the managing editor of Zyzzyva Magazine. “Nobody does what Don does in any other part of the country. And it’s absolutely wacko in the best sense. We took Don for granted, because Don was one of the most self-effacing artists I’ve ever known. The guy had no ego.”

He was a legend to many colleagues before they walked in the door, and a subversive anomaly in the early internet age when corporate media, not viral social media, still drove most of the conversation.

Chronicle reporter Tara Duggan remembers socializing with Asmussen for the first time — their daughters were the same age — and feeling nervous.

“I felt like there was a celebrity in the house, even though he was a co-worker,” Duggan said. “He was a force.”

Asmussen was hired by the San Francisco Examiner in 1995 by editor Phil Bronstein, and while he didn’t relish confrontation, he was fearless when it came to the strip. Bronstein was a regular in Asmussen’s early comics — always with a Komodo dragon attached to his foot; a reference to a real-life lizard attack.

The humor was often in the smaller details — an absurd aside or juxtaposition — and his barbs were reserved for powerful figures. Zito said Asmussen developed an early hate for bullies, which she links to watching how people mistreated his older brother Dean, who had Down syndrome.

While Asmussen leaned progressive, his skewering was apolitical. He was dumbfounded by the rise of Donald Trump, but probably wrote a larger number of biting panels about Gavin Newsom — ramping up after Newsom and his wife Kimberly Guilfoyle posed in 2004 on the carpet of the Getty Mansion for a Harper’s Bazaar spread that dubbed the couple “The New Kennedys.”

“One thing that defines his work it’s a relentless attack on vanity,” Villalon said. “Nobody looks good in a Don Asmussen cartoon. I think that was something Don was trying to convey: ‘Don’t take yourself so seriously. What’s your sense of self that’s so inflated that you can’t see the humor in something, or the hypocrisy?’ ”

Asmussen was the most serious when he talked about his wife and his two beloved daughters, Maxine, 19, and Tessa, 11. The wit he used to mock those-who-needed-mocking became more gentle imagination. Duggan remembers seeing him act playfully with his older daughter and thinking, “Wow, what a lucky kid to have that.”

Zito said Asmussen loved the newsroom, and writing for the two Hearst newspapers, where he was able to create his offbeat strips in near-autonomy. He had illustration and cartooning gigs for the New Yorker and Time magazine early in his career, worked with animators for Mondo Media, helped with Henry Selick’s film “Monkeybone,” and once had a job offer to work in the New York Times design department.

But Asmussen didn’t come close to leaving. In San Francisco he had freedom to create, and the city had become a character in his life and his work.

“There was nothing he loved more than to find a coffee shop somewhere, sit with his books and his magazines, see the people walking by, and see the energy that was happening,” Zito said.

Asmussen’s struggle with cancer was long and had ups and downs, with which he rarely burdened others. When he first got sick in the mid-2010s, I didn’t realize he was taking interferon and chemotherapy until I went to grab our TV’s remote control and saw needles piling up on his desk. He told Zito that the interferon was like injecting concrete into his body. But he still went to work every day throughout that first illness.

“I literally don’t think he took a single sick day,” Zito said. “I was like, ‘Stay in bed, watch some TV, watch a “Twin Peaks” marathon.’ He believed so strongly in the work and moving ahead. I think it gave him purpose.”

(During the years he was sick, Asmussen made elaborate videos for an in-house Chronicle contest that were never seen outside the newsroom. When he died, dozens of co-workers shared personal art that he made for them, all as sharp as his published comics.)

The cancer returned in 2018, including a tumor in his brain. I thought it must be bad, not because he talked about it, but because he kept playing David Bowie’s final album-before-death “Blackstar” on repeat while he continued to work as hard as ever. (“Look up here, I'm in heaven/I've got scars that can't be seen/I've got drama, can't be stolen/Everybody knows me now.”)

The funny never waned. Asmussen made some of his best work late that year, finding laughs in everything from the ubiquitous Shen Yun performing arts exhibition to the growing garbage patch in the Pacific; humor that continued up until days before a very risky surgery at the end of 2018.

He shared with close friends and family the reality of that five-hour procedure — he wasn’t sure how he’d come back: his memory, his physical state and, just as crucially, his sense of humor. Zito remembers getting the answer after surgery.

“I walk into the recovery room, I’m super nervous, I’m near tears because I don’t know what’s going to happen,” Zito said. “He looks at me and he says, ‘Is Trump still president?’”

On his first day back in the newsroom in spring 2019, a receiving line of people came over to our alcove, brows furrowed and near tears, probably thinking (like me) that he would never return to work again. He listened patiently, gave that blank Don Asmussen grumpy cat look, then started making deadpan improv until they laughed and engaged with him. I remember thinking in the moment how heroic it was. The sickest person I knew wanted to make us feel better.

“When you get cancer people want to put you on a pedestal,” said writer Mary Ladd, whose blunt and humor-filled 2019 book about cancer, “The Wig Diaries,” Asmussen illustrated. “The same way he didn’t want his brother with Down syndrome to be thought of as simply inspirational, (he wanted people to see) the flaws. And the funny amazing stories that come from those flaws.”

Don Asmussen would be horrified at this appreciation, and the attention that it brings to him. He dictated his own humor-filled obituary for Zito to give to The Chronicle, asking for assurances that it wouldn’t be edited.

Asmussen died the day it was written, earning him that final word.

But I’ll say this: He was brilliant, a fearless artist, finding humor in places others wouldn’t think to look.

To the very end.

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(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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Leave Nu alone! He's been getting his rear end kicked since the prehistoric era.