Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013


Move your hips closer to your lips.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

a few DRUNK BONERS
Mar 25, 2016



Go on an all raw meat diet

Chill Monster
Apr 23, 2014


the real trick is to lay on your back, roll your head and walk your feet down a walk, OP

Chill Monster
Apr 23, 2014


i mean: the real trick is to lay on your back, roll your body over your head and walk your feet down a wall, OP

HashtagGirlboss
Jan 4, 2005



Sucking your own dick is boomer poo poo

Looking for advice on how to stick mine in my own butthole

a few DRUNK BONERS
Mar 25, 2016



Listen to the gateway tapes while consuming your prime meats that you've aged to perfection in the root cellar

DoubleDonut
Oct 22, 2010




Fallen Rib

Have you tried voting?

Good soup!
Nov 1, 2010



Thx

FormaldehydeSon
Sep 30, 2011



Put it in your mouth

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

How to eat you're owne rear end: volume 1

SorePotato
Dec 26, 2012



I've been tapped twice to write preambles for instructional books about autofellatio

Weka
May 5, 2019


I'd recommend first doing a binary fission op.

HashtagGirlboss posted:

Sucking your own dick is boomer poo poo

Looking for advice on how to stick mine in my own butthole

Some people suggest putting your balls to the side but I suggest laying your dick between them.

bedpan
Apr 23, 2008




Michael Transactions posted:

Move your hips closer to your lips.

I don't have any strategies for the autofellatio aspirant, other than to listen to Lowtax's monologue on the subject, but I do have to complement your choice on a forum for this topic

fanfic insert
Nov 4, 2009




u really should try it out on someone elses dick first, lest you ruin the experience by sucking

Morbus
May 18, 2004



use a straw, ya dingus

SpaceGoku
Jul 19, 2011



build a machine that will stretch your dick out over the course of several years so you don't have to reach as far

A Russian troll farm
Jul 11, 2012

And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.

think with portals

Pentecoastal Elites
Feb 27, 2007


that's how Marilyn Manson died

TheLemonOfIchabod
Aug 26, 2008


move your LIPS closer to your HIPS

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013


SorePotato posted:

I've been tapped twice to write preambles for instructional books about autofellatio

yeah i wouldn't mind tapping you and you're rude tits

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013


TheLemonOfIchabod posted:

move your LIPS closer to your HIPS

Huh?

Top Gun Reference
Oct 9, 2012


Pillbug

post in d&d

Weka
May 5, 2019


So you get a hose the same width as your dick and you just suck that bad boy all the way through that hose until it comes out the end.

Janitor Ludwich IV
Jan 25, 2019


They're waiting for you, Gordon

In the Test Chamber



over a number of years using a modified torture rack

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011


Weka posted:

So you get a hose the same width as your dick and you just suck that bad boy all the way through that hose until it comes out the end.

The Enigma of Amigara Hose

JAY ZERO SUM GAME
Oct 18, 2005

Walter.
I know you know how to do this.
Get up.




join DSA

Harry Potter on Ice
Nov 4, 2006


IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED


Oh poo poo that hole pisser guy is bored making cspam threads again lol this is going to be a really good thread

Alobar
Jun 21, 2011

Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what I do?

I'll try to be a better man than the one that you knew.


as someone who has sucked his own dick, i must say that it is really not worth the effort

but also lol

Weka
May 5, 2019


You can't say that without providing tips, in this, the sucking your own dick tips thread.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

just the tips?

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

That's what they all say, and then you end up in an ambulance with a broken back and laughing paramedics

Plank Walker
Aug 11, 2005


90% of the posts here are tactics not strategies, gas

Grevling
Dec 18, 2016



he will be successful who has already sucked his own dick before setting out to suck

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.


The spine contains weakness, do not be afraid to snap it on the path towards enlightenment.

Buck Wildman
Mar 30, 2010

I am Metango, Galactic Governor




it's a myth op, we're not that flexible. you're just gonna have to be satisfied with giving yourself a rim job like the rest of us

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.


Buy a Tesla

Cabbages and Kings
Aug 25, 2004



"Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?"
But answer came there none
And this was scarcely odd because
They'd eaten every one.


the number of times I've dreamed I could do this perfectly and then woke up disappointed has to be, like, at least 5 over the last 25 years.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006

Was ist das problem fraulein?


suck another dick but condition your brain to feel what you're doing on your own dick via empathy it's really simple and there's negligible risk of dick sucking related injury

Mayor Dave
Feb 20, 2009



if you do decide to suck your own dick, be careful not to shoot in your eye because you will lose it like dan crenshaw

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Alobar
Jun 21, 2011

Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what I do?

I'll try to be a better man than the one that you knew.


Weka posted:

You can't say that without providing tips, in this, the sucking your own dick tips thread.

i guess i got a big dick, OP

my nickname in high school was "horse boy" and it wasn't because i was majestic or graceful in any way

i only was able to get the tip in, it's not like i was able to deepthroat my own dick

*cough cough* *wheeze* i have brought you this far, but can not continue with you on your journey

*growing frail* you must seek...the...other masters... :corsair:

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply