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Bobcats
Aug 5, 2004
Oh
Iím learning that reading between the cultural lines is something we all do.

Is a pissing contest a duel, distance, basically Splatoon, volume, or something else?

Doubt itís duration.

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CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001

Passion’s Wrench
I take it as an indirect contest, ie: a pissing contest is "I can do this better than you" not "I will defeat you with this."

It's not a direct competition person vs person, but a single person's test of strength and skill measured on a scale vs another person's strength and skill measured on a scale.


Duration could be that scale. Two guys walk up to two different urinals, one guy says "I bet I can outlast you" and the other guy agrees to the challenge. 3.2.1. :piss: Last one making noise wins.


Wait, are we talking metaphorically?

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017
its piss combat. two dudes tete-a-tete, pants pulled halfway down. doing this weird waddling thing, chasing each other in circles trying to get more piss on the other. you fall down you get fuckin soaked you lost.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
my dommes always told me that it was who could drink the most piss

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

you have to see if you can piss 6ft into the air straight up without getting wet

Winkle-Daddy
Mar 10, 2007
Linda Belcher calls it a "peeing race" in an episode of Bob's Burgers. I don't know if that clears anything up, OP. it didn't for me.

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet

Slippery Tilde
The goal is to piss six feet directly up without getting wet.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

Blue Footed Booby posted:

The goal is to piss six feet directly up without getting wet.

That's a challenge! Also I can't afford a down payment so like, kinda need to win this

2nd Amendment
Jun 8, 2022
Probation
Can't post for 57 days!
I always played for distance. Unless you are talking about lightsaber fights, but those are just in good fun.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
most vibrant color gets extra points

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
Focusing on distance favors pipsqueaks with tight urethras.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




itís a real contest, but you really should only challenge people who are in the same ball size division as yourself

2nd Amendment
Jun 8, 2022
Probation
Can't post for 57 days!
I feel like ball size is more about what kind of satellite dish you can make.

pro starcraft loser
Jan 23, 2006

Stand back, this could get messy.

Posting it since I was beat twice already:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc&t=28s

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

whoever has the darkest and most viscous urine wins the day

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010




you pinch the end of your foreskin and whoever can get the biggest piss balloon wins.

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

hemale in pain posted:

you pinch the end of your foreskin and whoever can get the biggest piss balloon wins.

this is a gender neutral contest

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT
In addition to the physical act of pissing, the contestants are judged on the spirit (級) of both their technique (段) and "flowing yellow river of life's flowers." (小川 金之助)

After the contest, the contestants must write an essay extolling the virtues of both their practice and competition. The judges weigh these essays most heavily.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010




Buce posted:

this is a gender neutral contest

people with vaginas can do the same but VERY carefully

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

hemale in pain posted:

people with vaginas can do the same but VERY carefully

superglue works the same way on all genders

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011


Whip em out op, letís do this

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
I'm pretty sure "Pissing Contest" is just the slightly more polite way of saying "Penis Contest".

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015

I don't get no respect!

kntfkr posted:

my dommes always told me that it was who could drink the most piss

Oh itís 5 gallons then, I only know one chick who can drink 5 gallons of piss. She won a contest last year but it wasnít for piss. :hmmyes:

Buttchocks
Oct 21, 2020

No, I like my hat, thanks.
waterbending

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Buttchocks posted:

waterbending

"Then, the Fire Nation attacked.... So we peed on 'em to put them out, it was easy, problem solved, and they were embarrassed."

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010

Yaldabaoth posted:

I'm pretty sure "Pissing Contest" is just the slightly more polite way of saying "Penis Contest".

I'm pretty sure it's not meant to be polite or say that

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Self Defense
Nil Satanus carborundum

Yeshua akbar!
(Xtian anarchisto, no bombo)

Bobcats posted:

I’m learning that reading between the cultural lines is something we all do.

Is a pissing contest a duel, distance, basically Splatoon, volume, or something else?

Doubt it’s duration.

See, it's like a swordfight, but with dicks.

Also a woman can beat a guy in a pissing contest if she holds him down and pisses all over his face. Though if it's that guy's kink, he'd call it win-win.

STABASS
Apr 18, 2009

Fun Shoe
as long as it ends up in my mouth I don't care!!!

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
Stream strength and pressure, OP.

Distance is the usual way to check it, but modern technology allows us to be more precise.

People with a penis are at a natural advantage but not, imo, one that can't be overcome with training and physical conditioning.

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

beach side
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=578Xm6bgMdQ

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
An illustration of a naturally gifted pisser:

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011


If you canít hang with the big dogs go piss with the puppies

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011


Blurry Gray Thing posted:

An illustration of a naturally gifted pisser:



60 kegels every day you can do this too

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

60 kegels every day you can do this too

Exactly. Like any contest, a gifted amateur can only go so far. You have to practice. You have to train your muscles.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




somewhere out there is the kirk johnson of urethras

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005



google "pissing off america"



warning: it's :nws:

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BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011


Bad Purchase posted:

somewhere out there is the kirk johnson of urethras

Sounds wild

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