Dabir posted:

I don't get this either

Dabir posted:

I don't get this either

Sagebrush posted:

weren't used to foods that weren't primarily carbohydrates and so chinese food didn't make them feel stuffed the way meat and potatoes and bread does

Dabir posted:

I don't get this either

Dabir posted:

I don't get this either

Jaded Burnout posted:

spog posted:

KillHour posted:

Drugs and Child Porn.

Are you suggesting we invest in these?

No. Difficult to exit and immature market, respectively.

Sagebrush posted:

yes, what i'm saying is that americans mostly ate carbs like potatoes and bread, but chinese food is more meats and vegetables and less starch (depends how much rice you eat i guess but i've never heard of anyone saying "oh wow i really filled up on rice")

Kenny Logins posted:

MSG, which is responsible for making everything terrible and poison and not super-delicious.

Noni posted:

I got really sick this past month and ended up eating a lot of crock-pot congee. I haven't seen a single word on congee in this thread, but the next time any of you are ill, I highly suggest it.

If someone needs a recipe, the basic one goes something like this:

Ingredients needed:
-Rice
-Salt
-Chicken or another broth. If you have duck broth, use that. Ducks are well known for their brothiness.

Optional ingredients, for when you aren't sick:
-Shredded meat, be it duck, pork, chicken, or "meat"
-Eggs
-Peanuts
-Ginger
-Shiitake mushrooms
-Green onions
-Sesame oil
-Oyster sauce
-Fish sauce
-Pepper sauce
-Soy sauce
-Picked vegetables
-Duck eggs or century eggs
-There are probably 100 other possible congee additions

Instructions:
1. Painfully wake up in your sweat-ridden bed and belch forth a solid three minutes of profanity against an impotent but vengeful god who hasn't yet been able to sack up enough juices to kill you. Your gravelly cries should be punctuated by deep, phlegmy coughs.
2. Now that you're sitting upright, it's time for the ritual clearing of holes in your head. Your idiot doctor wants a good post-sleep sputum sample. gently caress him and that "I'm not giving you antibiotics yet because I still think it's viral" crap. He might change his mind when you fill up this mayonnaise jar full of nickelodeonesque green slime and chuck it through his clinic window with a note wrapped around it: "Mostly from left lung. Right to follow."
3. Decide you should probably try to eat something.
4. Go to kitchen wearing blanket from bed. Shakily collapse on the stairs during the journey. Sit and think about how stupid stairs really are and how, now that you see them up close, you really need to vacuum them more. God drat this illness has made your IQ drop like a stone.
5. Dry heave.
6. Get to the kitchen and eat something random.
7. Wet heave.
8. As you sit on the floor in front of your toilet, ponder about eating a gentler food.
9. Look at yourself in bathroom mirror. Jesus christ. Just look at yourself. Is that thrush on your tongue? Dear god, what the hell is wrong with you. If you tossed some glitter on your face and called yourself Edward, you could easily be chest-deep in fat girl blowjobs right now.
10. In a feverish daydream where beautiful, scantily-clad women are ladling some kind of food to you, remember congee.
11. Fill a crock-pot with rice and broth (or, gently caress it, water) at a ratio of about 1:10. If you weren't sick, you'd probably add some shredded duck, pork, or chicken. Then maybe you'd add some ginger and shiitakes. You might add eggs towards the end of cooking. That's right. Eggs cooked into congee may be the only way that you'd be able to keep down any protein. Salt that poo poo. gently caress it, add MSG too. MSG never hurt a goddamn person.
12. Go back to your bedroom. Take a random smattering of the roulette-like series of medications that have been suggested, prescribed, or concocted for you over the past weeks.
13. Because light makes your head throb in and out like it's the final boss from Contra, relegate yourself to listening to a few hours of lovely, soft-voiced audiobooks on low volume.
14. When you hear the earth-shaking bass once again from your neighbor's car stereo, run outside with your pale, green skin and puke-covered robe and tell the knuckle-dragger that if he doesn't turn the stereo off, you're going to spit in his mouth, then rub vomit all over his car and poo poo diarrhea onto anything he might touch in order to ensure that he contracts this same illness. Surely, that's what you meant to say in your head, but what he and his buddies hear are the incoherent, hoarse, frog-like ramblings of a hacking madman.
15. Back inside, realize that you forgot to turn on the crock pot. Go back to step 9. Then have a serious, child-like fit. Collapse in the corner of the kitchen floor as a spent, husk of a man.
16. Reflect on your newfound, near-unemployment because you work in a building chock-full of cancer patients, which means no work until you're fully healthy.
17. Check your phone messages. Skip the messages from people who jokingly ask if you're still alive. Wonder what your doctor's nurse means when she says you should come back in at your earliest convenience.
18. Go lay in bed and contemplate if this is when you're meant to die. Drift off to yet another session of vivid, sweaty, nightmare-ridden sleep. Even in your nightmares you are somehow ill and broken. You don't even try to fight the the evil puppetmaster scientist as he puts your brain into the body of a dog and makes you watch as he sodomizes your vacant human carcass. Then you sit in a dog pound waiting to be euthanized, but all that anyone hears of you trying to speak are barks, and you don't even care to bark anymore. Even the old nightmare that you've had since you where 5 years old is ineffective. This is the one where you are shrunk to an inch of height and forgotten. Your tiny dream self just lays down and readies himself to die, not even attempting to attract the attention of the giant friends and family who tower above.
19. Awaken and go eat congee. Soy sauce is probably the only thing you'll be able to add and stomach.
20. Go back to bed with a belly full of lovely congee, which you're surprisingly not throwing up. Listen to more audiobooks, and then again drift off to sleep.
21. Wake up in the hospital. Be given a stern reprimand from doctors and nurses, as if you purposely brought this poo poo on yourself because you have a fetish for potassium drips and rear end-less gowns.
22. Hear, in so many guarded, doctorese words, that your physician hosed up. Oh well, at least now you practically have a six-pack from the coughing-based ab workout.
23. When you get to go home, make and eat lots more congee. Now that you have full-on ciprofloxacin-assisted thrush, it's pretty much the only thing that you can eat without pain.

Anyway, congee is pretty good poo poo.

Sagebrush posted:

yes, what i'm saying is that americans mostly ate carbs like potatoes and bread, but chinese food is more meats and vegetables and less starch (depends how much rice you eat i guess but i've never heard of anyone saying "oh wow i really filled up on rice")

Roosevelt posted:

Congee

Untrustable posted:

That post is old as gently caress, but in my 8 years on this site it is still the most useful thing I've ever read. Congee is so good when nothing can stay down. It is magic.

Karate Bastard posted:

Hmmm..... yeah. I'm gonna want a second opinion on that.

Karate Bastard posted:

Hmmm..... yeah. I'm gonna want a second opinion on that.


E: vvvvvv Ok you look trustable.

Palpek posted:

I have never eaten congee.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

hosed up if true. Mods?

Neddy Seagoon posted:

They just told you; They've never eaten congee!

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Congee is the best. In fact, I think I might make some now.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Huh, apparently you're pretty susceptible to suggestions from the forums quote thread. You're lucky it was the congee quote that got posted, if it had been a different quote you might be off pissing in a well or throwing ants at a horse right now.

Weatherman posted:

My Mac dick and your Mac dick
Sitting by the fire
My Mac dick told your Mac dick
I'm gonna set this thread on fire

Talkin' bout hey now (hey now) hey now (hey now) spergout spergout all-day

Just-In-Timeberlake posted:

there are literally people in the verge comments defending musk's claim that that truck is more aerodynamic than a supercar

BangersInMyKnickers posted:

hahaha oh god I bet ole musky is going to do some kind of zero ground clearance chassis/trailer thing and only testing it at Nuremberg

Luigi Thirty posted:

Elon Musk should be tested at Nuremberg by a tribunal

Whiz Palace posted:

Context: there is a famous German racetrack called the Nürburgring that almost every car manufacturer uses if they can. Foreigners mix it up with Nuremberg a lot.

Powaqoatse posted:

Ah well, either way Luigi is correct.

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

unlike Mario, gently caress that guy

Roosevelt posted:

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

there's like one joke buried in a billion words, and the rest is just disease

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

there's like one joke buried in a billion words, and the rest is just disease

Rollersnake posted:

Please someone with too much time on their hands find the Great Infuriating Sausage Derail from the last thread and let us know if any of the participants are the same. Years later, and goons are still struggling with concept of sausage.

My Lovely Horse posted:

But MisterBibs doesn't even post here

Turtlicious posted:

Poor freckles...

Davethulhu posted:

RISCy Business posted:

this implicates the crab

Powaqoatse posted:

CannonFodder posted:

Snitches get pinches.

Skoll posted:

I'd say the story was actually way worse than Star Wars cliche. It bordered on nonsensical.

And what the gently caress is up with Luke's face?

Clawtopsy posted:

car accident