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What the hell happens next?
This poll is closed.
They literally set fire to the ring by accident 2 2.22%
They literally set fire to the ring on purpose 6 6.67%
Film 6 months of content accidentally using WWE prop belts 6 6.67%
Rehire Jeff Jarrett 23 25.56%
Start splicing in archival footage of AJ Styles and pretending it's current 23 25.56%
Accidentally switch the live Pop TV feed to the WWE Network 6 6.67%
Lose the keys to the production truck, film 6 months of content in the parking lot with a Samsung 7 7.78%
Sue a fan who flips the bird on air, lose all company rights to said fan 13 14.44%
Somehow everything gets good and they start making money (Comedy Option) 4 4.44%
Total: 90 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
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Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 31 days!

I'm honestly shocked that at this point, there are still people out there clinging to the notion that TNA/Impact/whatever is poised to give WWE a run for its' money any day now.

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flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

EugeneJ posted:

I think MLW and Impact merging makes a lot of sense, but I doubt Court has the money to make that happen

Makes sense for whom? What would Impact provide MLW that they're not already doing? I can't think of anything that would make that increasing worthwhile for MLW at just about any price.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!
https://twitter.com/BW_Champion/status/1091413890829897728

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011
In a war between wrestling wikipedia and TNA fans, there is only losers, sadness and bitter recriminations.

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution


Fuckin' LMAO. I might be a cheerleader, but I would hope I'm far far away from reaching those levels of craziness.

Ganso Bomb
Oct 24, 2005

turn it all around

flashy_mcflash posted:

Makes sense for whom? What would Impact provide MLW that they're not already doing? I can't think of anything that would make that increasing worthwhile for MLW at just about any price.

A worse TV spot? More inept owners/execs?

I can't see of a reason for MLW and Impact to merge unless MLW was pining for the TNA/Impact tape library. A lot of wrestlers are already working both Impact and MLW so it's not like they need to merge to get specific talents.

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


rare Magic card l00k posted:

Yesterday's stream was the first 2019 Impact to fail to break 7000 peak viewers, peaking at 6397. This is down 2335 (or 26.7%) from last week, and down 1469 from the previous low two weeks ago.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


At least a 25% viewer decline every week so far

Definitely sustainable

Julio Cruz
May 19, 2006
sure, viewership is plummeting, but they're not in trouble while their number of Facebook likes is holding steady

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Any word on the +3 and +7 ratings?

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.
So, like, TNA is Achilles shooting the arrow, and their Twitch show is the tortoise, and the distance between arrow and tortoise is the number of viewers, is that about right?

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon

Grendels Dad posted:

So, like, TNA is Achilles shooting the arrow, and their Twitch show is the tortoise, and the distance between arrow and tortoise is the number of viewers, is that about right?

TNA is Achilles from Robot Jox in that they killed their audience

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution

On the other hand, if anyone feels like watching free wrestling, this starts in 45 minutes:

https://twitter.com/IMPACTWRESTLING/status/1091750595525050370

Smash Wrestling Championship Match
Tarik vs. Scotty O’Shea

Johnny Impact vs. Sami Callihan

Smash Wrestling Tag Team Championship Table Match
The Pillars vs. Halal Beefcake

Demon Bunny vs. Balespin

The Rascalz vs. OVE

Sebastian Suave's Open Challenge

Cody Deaner vs. Mike Rollins

abraham linksys
Sep 6, 2010

:darksouls:
"Halal Beefcake" is an incredible team name

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
I like how they snuck in the long awaited return to IMPACT of Cody Deaner.

CopywrightMMXI
Jun 1, 2011

One time a guy stole some downhill skis out of my jeep and I was so mad I punched a mailbox. I'm against crime, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I just caught the main event of impact on tv (it’s on the Gameshow Network in Canada a lot) and what the gently caress happened to John Morrison? His timing is terrible and everything he does looks so spotty. His timing was way off and it was really noticeable. Was he always this way or was this just a one-off? Am I remembering his WWE run with rose coloured glasses?

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

Is this company good?

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution

CopywrightMMXI posted:

I just caught the main event of impact on tv (it’s on the Gameshow Network in Canada a lot) and what the gently caress happened to John Morrison? His timing is terrible and everything he does looks so spotty. His timing was way off and it was really noticeable. Was he always this way or was this just a one-off? Am I remembering his WWE run with rose coloured glasses?

He's usually pretty good (just finished watching the live stream and he had a fun title match with Callihan), but when he's off, he's off.

Cavauro posted:

Is this company good?

I'd like to think so.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Cavauro posted:

Is this company good?
It’s a low-level Canadian indie at this point, and it chose for its name the medical term for scooping poo poo out of someone’s colon with your fingers

It was at least entertaining when it set its sights high and failed. Now it’s setting its sights low and watching it slowly waste away just isn’t that fun.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Come to think of it, impacting is a procedure most commonly performed in asylums. You can’t say they don’t know their audience.

CopywrightMMXI
Jun 1, 2011

One time a guy stole some downhill skis out of my jeep and I was so mad I punched a mailbox. I'm against crime, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

J-Ro posted:

He's usually pretty good (just finished watching the live stream and he had a fun title match with Callihan), but when he's off, he's off.


I'd like to think so.

I’m glad he can be good. I honestly feel that this company finally will go belly up this year and most of the talent will get snatched up. I was impressed by Brian Cage. I had only seen a handful of his matches in LU before Netflix removed it.

The Kins
Oct 2, 2004

CopywrightMMXI posted:

I honestly feel that this company finally will go belly up this year
Haven't we been saying this every year since 2014?

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


I had to look that up to confirm, as of July it really will have only been 5 years since Spike TV announced they were kicking TNA out :stare: the longest 5 years

The Kins
Oct 2, 2004

Chris James 2 posted:

I had to look that up to confirm, as of July it really will have only been 5 years since Spike TV announced they were kicking TNA out :stare: the longest 5 years
Don't worry, I had to look it up too. Here's the old LOLTNA archive, if you need a refresher course.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

The Kins posted:

Don't worry, I had to look it up too. Here's the old LOLTNA archive, if you need a refresher course.

Thank you for this, but hadn’t it gotten to 2018 before they stopped updating?

The Kins
Oct 2, 2004

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Thank you for this, but hadn’t it gotten to 2018 before they stopped updating?
Oh, neat, Archive.org has a newer version.

Hellblazer187
Oct 12, 2003

If you're going to do free on the internet why not just put it on youtube? That way people can watch whenever they want. I bet they do better than 7k if you can get old dumb dudes like me to check it out on a lazy Sunday morning. Plus, everyone has youtube, only dumb idiot gamers have Twitch. Is Twitch paying them a bunch of money for this for some reason?

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Rosemary returned and won an unannounced fourway match last night
https://twitter.com/SCsirens/status/1092098885936390146

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Basic Chunnel posted:

Come to think of it, impacting is a procedure most commonly performed in asylums. You can’t say they don’t know their audience.
:hmmyes:

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution

Hellblazer187 posted:

If you're going to do free on the internet why not just put it on youtube? That way people can watch whenever they want. I bet they do better than 7k if you can get old dumb dudes like me to check it out on a lazy Sunday morning. Plus, everyone has youtube, only dumb idiot gamers have Twitch. Is Twitch paying them a bunch of money for this for some reason?

Can't monetize pro-wrestling on YouTube anymore, but to be honest I'm not sure they're getting any reasonable money out of Twitch either. Twitch has been their platform of choice for free streams, and they've got stuff playing on there 24-h a day. Also it's a free website just like YouTube.

Point is moot anyway, since the Impact simulcast is only available while the show airs. After that it ends up on Global Wrestling Network within a week.

Chris James 2 posted:

Rosemary returned and won an unannounced fourway match last night
https://twitter.com/SCsirens/status/1092098885936390146

Shhh, that's not canon. She seemed ok, if a bit rusty.

J-Ro fucked around with this message at 17:59 on Feb 3, 2019

Hellblazer187
Oct 12, 2003

Do you just mean youtube monetization is way down, or is there some rule that says no more monetization for wrestling?

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

Hellblazer187 posted:

Do you just mean youtube monetization is way down, or is there some rule that says no more monetization for wrestling?

They drastically decreased what ads pay out for wrestling content

Hellblazer187
Oct 12, 2003

Also does anyone watch on GWN?

davidbix
Jun 14, 2016

Wow, Bix. First K.Rool, then Steve and now SEPHIROTH? Your dream game is real!

sportsgenius86 posted:

They drastically decreased what ads pay out for wrestling content
Yes, but they claim it's not systematic/as a matter of policy. And some YouTubers have claimed themselves to be unaffected.

Von Linus
Apr 6, 2006
I complete me.
I've been sticking TNA on on my twitch app on PS4. It's amazing how much of this I remember, and how it's generally also been quite bad. Like I never get to see a live show, I'm just watching old garbage and see ing how bad it is.

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


abraham linksys posted:

"Halal Beefcake" is an incredible team name

way late but yeah this is fantastic

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


some assorted poo poo I completely forgot about from the loltna archive

quote:

(Against all odds 2005)
Abyss beat Jeff Hardy in a Full Metal Mayhem Match (TNA's version of a TLC Match) to become the #1 Contender for the NWA World Heavyweight Title. The final spot was supposed to have Abyss press slam Hardy through four stacked tables. Abyss actually threw Hardy over the rope and he barely went through one. Pissed off by the blown spot, Hardy no-sold the move and started dropkicking tables while Abyss retrieved the contract. Abyss didn't cash this contract in for a title shot, and he was pinned by Hardy at the very next PPV.
...

Traci Brooks returned after a long absence to face off with Alissa Flash. Flash worked Traci's arm the entire match, and at one point, Mike Tenay said Traci had a birth defect in the same arm Flash worked over -- then said Traci specifically told him not to mention it on-air. While fans were left wondering why Tenay would reveal something he was asked not to, Traci lost via submission. She proceeded to beat Alissa down after the match while screaming about her arm. Nobody in the live audience had any idea what Traci's beatdown and yelling meant. Traci wrestled another match with ODB, where the exact same thing happened. After the second match, Traci disappeared from TV. TNA Never Explained This™.
...

During a radio interview, Hulk Hogan claimed with a straight face that Abyss was the next John Cena.
...
Ric Flair admitted to having sex with a horse during a promo on the November 18th episode of Impact. TNA Never Followed Up On This™, thank goodness.

On that same episode, Hogan cut a long, uncomfortable promo in which he destroyed the fourth wall. He said they were throwing kayfabe out the window, said "34 fake titles" mean nothing, and buried Team 3D (the winners of every major Tag Team Championship in American pro wrestling and then some). In a fit of borderline hilarity, once Victory Road 2011 came along and Jeff Hardy got himself in trouble by showing up for the main event with visions of fried eggs dancing in his head (see below), Hogan chose Bully Ray of Team 3D to push as the next big thing. Hogan's crapping all over Bully and Devon in this promo was (of course) never mentioned.
...
Mickie James and Madison Rayne had a Last Woman Standing match where, for no reason, the two women spent a minute under the ring before reappearing.
...
TNA hired Howard Stern Show regular Eric the Midget to make appearances on the online show TNA Today in the hopes of getting some free publicity from Stern. Howard refused to play clips from the show for weeks, claiming the show was terrible. After Eric threatened to withdraw donations he made to Stern's favorite animal charity with his TNA paycheck, Howard played a clip where Bobby Roode threatened to kick Eric out of his wheelchair -- and he and his crew ridiculed the exchange. This debacle caused Eric to resign from TNA.

I do not remember any of these incidents at all :psyduck: That Mickie/Madison thing is just... what

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

I actually think I saw that Mickie/Madison match on Twitch recently. As far as I remember it was Madison trying to run away from Mickie by crawling under the ring, Mickie following her, and like 10 awkward seconds as they make their way to the other side. Dumb and pointless but like, not quite that bad.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


I remember the Traci thing

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Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 31 days!
The main thing I remember about Traci Brooks in TNA was how TNA diehards were all geeked when it was announced she was going to appear in Playboy. I vaguely recall that a bunch of them were like " this will be the thing that gives TNA the mainstream exposure (huh huh) that it needs. :smug:"

Then Playboy changed editors, the new one wanted absolutely nothing to do with pro wrestling, and they ended up putting her photos on the website instead. :laugh:

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