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There should be an incredible black market for spells to screw with sports games.
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May 14, 2021 22:09
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muscles like this! posted:Something I was thinking about today was that it is kind of messed up that the students provide their own brooms for Quidditch. That kind of seems like something you would use standardized brooms for to avoid rich students having an unfair advantage. Slytherins were all juicin' anyway
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May 14, 2021 22:09
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Zore posted:Tbf they have the broom advantage for like two years since Harry doesn't get the Firebolt until 4th year and its an upgrade over the Nimbus 2000 he had before that. Seeker is not only the most important position it’s also the one where having a super fast broom literally wins you games. It’s not like being able to accelerate to 200mph matters for goal keeping or whatever. There’s specifically points where other seekers see and start pursuing the snitch (usually because some extra bullshit is going on tbf) and then Harry just rockets in front of them
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May 15, 2021 03:56
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Why not formally turn the Snitch into the instant win condition it practically already is, but add in some constraints to the rest of the game? Like, highest scorer after half an hour is the winner, or whoever reaches some high watermark score? That way there’s still the tension of whether Harry’s going to be the one to catch it, as well as the obvious setup for a final match that goes down to the wire with Gryffindor about to lose if he doesn’t do it.
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May 15, 2021 04:44
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Zore posted:Tbf they have the broom advantage for like two years since Harry doesn't get the Firebolt until 4th year and its an upgrade over the Nimbus 2000 he had before that. It was in his 3rd year. Sirius bought him it. I remember it because it gave us this classic ending freeze frame to a HP movie: 
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May 15, 2021 05:08
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muscles like this! posted:Something I was thinking about today was that it is kind of messed up that the students provide their own brooms for Quidditch. That kind of seems like something you would use standardized brooms for to avoid rich students having an unfair advantage. Did you not play sports in school? Every sports program skews towards rich kids who can afford best versions of equipment and training.
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May 15, 2021 05:31
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Regalingualius posted:Why not formally turn the Snitch into the instant win condition it practically already is, but add in some constraints to the rest of the game? Like, highest scorer after half an hour is the winner, or whoever reaches some high watermark score? That way there’s still the tension of whether Harry’s going to be the one to catch it, as well as the obvious setup for a final match that goes down to the wire with Gryffindor about to lose if he doesn’t do it. that would have made sense for rowling to write, if she had been attempting to write a coherent sport at all. remember this is the lady who had like 3 real sports scenes in her, and once they were written she simply came up with excuses for why harry wasn't going to play that year. it's intended as yet another weird wizard cultural detail. but i've seen fairly decent arguments that the rules of quidditch as written are workable on a league level, just not the school level. if everyone is good at the game, and the snitch is set to a much higher "difficulty setting", then 150 points is not an instant win but a tie-breaker as games tend to run longer and rack up much higher scores than hogwarts quidditch. the seeker is effectively the least important person on a team; still important, but increasingly less so as the match wears on Jazerus fucked around with this message at 05:44 on May 15, 2021 |
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May 15, 2021 05:41
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Quidditch was designed the make the main character the most specialist person ever with the only job that matters. It doesn't matter at all what the rest of the people do. They're irrelevant to the game. In Goblet of Fire, 3/4 champions were Seekers. Because JK Rowling doesn't know how to say "this person is special" any other way.
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May 15, 2021 06:15
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It's a real missed opportunity that we didn't get some friendly Quidditch matches between the three schools in GoF. It would've been fun to see Krum completely school Harry on being a Seeker.Zesty posted:Quidditch was designed the make the main character the most specialist person ever with the only job that matters. It doesn't matter at all what the rest of the people do. They're irrelevant to the game. And then there's Fleur, whose special trait is 'magnet for Rowling's internalized misogyny.'
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May 15, 2021 06:25
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Her joke sport about what American wizards play which is a mix of American Football and Basketball makes sense and would be watchable so I have to assume Quidditch is both purposefully stupid and main-character centric
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May 15, 2021 07:39
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Ccs posted:There should be an incredible black market for spells to screw with sports games. This does come up in Quidditch through the Ages where the sport has such an extensive list of fouls that it's not available to the public, in case it gives them ideas. The book's author has had access to it and apparently agrees with it, though like half the fouls are covered under banning wand use and others are like, hitting other players with an axe. Jazerus posted:that would have made sense for rowling to write, if she had been attempting to write a coherent sport at all. remember this is the lady who had like 3 real sports scenes in her, and once they were written she simply came up with excuses for why harry wasn't going to play that year. it's intended as yet another weird wizard cultural detail. It's also mentioned that it's been known for games of Quidditch to last for days. (I presume they got this from cricket)
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May 15, 2021 08:33
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Barudak posted:Her joke sport about what American wizards play which is a mix of American Football and Basketball makes sense and would be watchable so I have to assume Quidditch is both purposefully stupid and main-character centric IIRC Rowling came up with the rules of quidditch after she had a fight with her boyfriend about him wanting to watch football, so she made it up based entirely on what she thought would annoy him specifically, so yeah it's purposefully stupid.
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May 15, 2021 09:07
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If nothing else, Quidditch at least gave us the sight of grown men and women waddling around university green spaces squeezing broom handles between their thighs like massive strap-ons while another person ran around with SNITCH written on a piece of paper scotch-taped to their back.
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May 15, 2021 09:45
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Lol that Percy was the one Weasley to not play. Bill and Charlie were both quidditch captains in their time, and I think the chronology works out that in Fred and George's first year the gryffindor team was 4/7 Weasleys. And they call the slytherins nepotists! Also isn't it a plot point in 3 that Harry needs to catch the snitch only after a certain amount of points have been scored by the chasers? That implies there's some sort of logic to the Hogwarts league beyond just "catch snitch 3 times, win" PS: I'm real fuckin sad that we never got to see Alan Rickman mount a broom. galagazombie posted:If nothing else, Quidditch at least gave us the sight of grown men and women waddling around university green spaces squeezing broom handles between their thighs like massive strap-ons while another person ran around with SNITCH written on a piece of paper scotch-taped to their back. I got to stumble upon the Queens University quidditch team playing a scrimmage on like my third day in the nation of Canada. It was truly a warm welcome. Wtf is hockey? Is there any JK lore about wizarding Canada? Do they go to Ilvermorney? Do québécois wizards insist on going to Beauxbatons because they are special snowflakes? Did Fleur spend her free time bullying little canadian kids because of their silly accents? Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 10:52 on May 15, 2021 |
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May 15, 2021 10:47
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Pretty much all wizard creativity and motivation goes into increasingly Dick Dastardly ways to cheat at sports
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May 15, 2021 11:26
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Pretty much all wizard creativity and motivation goes into increasingly Dick Dastardly ways to cheat at sports I mean, its like what if American College football was more hideously inbred and dynastic so the fact there are 't any adult hufflepuff graduates destroying ravenclaw's historic garden or Slytherin's kidnapping Gryfindors bird is frankly unrealisitic.
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May 15, 2021 15:44
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It is a little weird how in the wizarding world where everything otherwise seems archaic and unchanging, brooms seem to be the the one thing that's cutting-edge, like improvements in broom technology are being made every year. Contrast with how wands are all basically the same so long as they were custom-made except for the one secret ancient artifact.
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May 15, 2021 17:35
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The fact that Malfoy’s dad heard about Harry using a Nimbus 2000, then turned around and bought everyone on Slytherin a Nimbus 2001 struck me as just perfectly hilariously petty.
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May 15, 2021 17:50
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Magic carpets are the superior versions of brooms but aren't 'British-made' and thus are embargoed from being used.
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May 15, 2021 17:54
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Also isn't it a plot point in 3 that Harry needs to catch the snitch only after a certain amount of points have been scored by the chasers? That implies there's some sort of logic to the Hogwarts league beyond just "catch snitch 3 times, win" Yeah, it was basically a situation where if he caught the Snitch too early, they would win the game, but lose the overall league, since that's apparently based on the amount of points scored by the team over the whole season. It's also implied in that book that the points your team scores during Quidditch games also counts towards your House's points for the House Cup at the end of the year.
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May 15, 2021 17:59
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SlothfulCobra posted:It is a little weird how in the wizarding world where everything otherwise seems archaic and unchanging, brooms seem to be the the one thing that's cutting-edge, like improvements in broom technology are being made every year. Again, makes sense considering sports are the poo poo that actually matters to them. Everyone needs a wand, but you make a fancy new broom, you make fuckloads of money from rich assholes giving their kids a leg up.
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May 15, 2021 18:11
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Viktor Krum, the only honourable and self-made quidditch player. Remember in four when Seamus Finnegan's family is like "you are supporting Ireland right?" and Ron is like "yeah sure" while owning a Viktor action figure
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May 15, 2021 18:24
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Hermione should have ended up with him, the swaggest rear end guy Also he was the only one who recognized the deadly hollows symbol as a wizard nazi symbol it was and understandably freaked out at it
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May 15, 2021 18:34
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the person I'm currently dating may or may not have a cute gryffindor hoodie that matches a dumbass slytherin hoodie I own and we may or may not be wearing them in public atm i feel bad for doing marketing JK Rowling but I will never not love all my hot nazi slytherin friends. severus more like sexerus. Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 21:51 on May 15, 2021 |
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May 15, 2021 21:48
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harry potter and the occult nazi wizard artifacts
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May 15, 2021 21:52
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:the person I'm currently dating may or may not have a cute gryffindor hoodie that matches a dumbass slytherin hoodie I own and we may or may not be wearing them in public atm Slitherin gets Jason 'handsome devil' Isaacs. Case closed they win.
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May 15, 2021 23:39
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Wasn't the broom Harry got in PoA a professional-level broom or something? That makes Malfoy's dad buying the Slytherin team new brooms pale in comparison. Also  at Harry being a dick and ignoring Hermione for months because she was worried about his safety and wanted the teachers to check his broom for curses. It's not like that was a year where they knew a rogue wizard was after Harry or anything, or that Sirius had already broken into the Gryffindor common room beforehand.Feldegast42 posted:Hermione should have ended up with him, the swaggest rear end guy Krum's pretty great, but then Rowling had to add that tidbit in HBP about how 17 is the age of majority for wizards so she retroactively made Krum into a creep for wanting to date Hermione back in GoF.
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May 16, 2021 06:31
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amigolupus posted:Wasn't the broom Harry got in PoA a professional-level broom or something? That makes Malfoy's dad buying the Slytherin team new brooms pale in comparison. Also the nimbus is a pro broom too. harry never flies a normal person broom except in flying class
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May 16, 2021 06:46
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amigolupus posted:Wasn't the broom Harry got in PoA a professional-level broom or something? That makes Malfoy's dad buying the Slytherin team new brooms pale in comparison. Also It's funny when the grown rear end dude is dancing around with all the teen actors in the movie. double nine posted:Slitherin gets Jason 'handsome devil' Isaacs. Case closed they win. He was an inspired casting choice in being so opposite of his usual archetype. Although really all the casting in the movies was good. It's also impressive that they kept the entire (white) child cast the whole time without, afaik, any horrible abuse or broken brains. RIP Lavender Brown and that greek muse kid in Prisoner of Azkaban who temporarily replaces Dean Thomas I think. I don't think I've mentioned before but I actually met Eveanna Lynch (or any extremely convincing fake) at a bar once. She is basically Luna irl. Closest thing I've ever gotten to meeting a celebrity I think. e: come to think of it doesn't Percy Weasley fall off the map at some point? I remember him being around quite a bit in the first few, then by five he has a nonspeaking role prancing around behind the minister, then he never gets his big redemption moment in the battle and disappears. Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 10:00 on May 16, 2021 |
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May 16, 2021 09:30
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Jazerus posted:the nimbus is a pro broom too. harry never flies a normal person broom except in flying class I like how someone tells Harry that Snape shows favoritism to his house and McGonagall's supposed to be a tough but fair teacher yet she bent the rules about first-years not being allowed to play and bought Harry an expensive professional-grade broom to ensure her Quidditch team wins. Edgar Allen Ho posted:e: come to think of it doesn't Percy Weasley fall off the map at some point? I remember him being around quite a bit in the first few, then by five he has a nonspeaking role prancing around behind the minister, then he never gets his big redemption moment in the battle and disappears. Percy and Cho Chang should make a "the movie adaptations poo poo on us even more than the books" club.
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May 16, 2021 11:30
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dordreff posted:IIRC Rowling came up with the rules of quidditch after she had a fight with her boyfriend about him wanting to watch football, so she made it up based entirely on what she thought would annoy him specifically, so yeah it's purposefully stupid. Yeah it's this plus the idea that wizards take arcane and convoluted approaches to things in general. Same thing with their money; pre-decimal British money was stupid so of course Wizarding money would be that but with prime numbers.
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May 16, 2021 15:23
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I am admittedly not british but I always figured that while quidditch culture was based on football, arcane quidditch rules were based on cricket. Also admittedly the only thing I know about cricket is that it's big in India and Shaun of the Dead kills some fuckers with one of the wacky bats.
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May 16, 2021 17:06
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Doctor Spaceman posted:Yeah it's this plus the idea that wizards take arcane and convoluted approaches to things in general. Same thing with their money; pre-decimal British money was stupid so of course Wizarding money would be that but with prime numbers. To quote Mike Nelson, "Magic: It's either evil or stupid"
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May 16, 2021 17:12
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Even when I first read the books at age 12 it seemed obvious that the dumb rules were a mockery of actual sports
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May 16, 2021 18:43
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Reminder that Krum caused his team to lose the world cup on purpose because they were otherwise getting slaughtered, and everybody applauds this decision as noble because it lets his team go down with dignity, or something. Also this was like in the first 30 minutes of a sport that we are told can go on for hours, even days. Like imagine if a team was down 21-0 in the first quarter, and the star QB of the losing team did nothing but take a knee over and over until the game ended because he'd decided they were beaten. Dude would get loving murdered, probably by his own teammates.
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May 16, 2021 20:10
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Came across this. Assuming LeGuin only read the first book, I’m wondering what ethically mean spirited aspects she saw within the work from the beginning. https://mobile.twitter.com/Leehambones/status/1393985802766626821
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May 16, 2021 20:37
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Ccs posted:Came across this. Assuming LeGuin only read the first book, I’m wondering what ethically mean spirited aspects she saw within the work from the beginning. Probably all the fat jokes, for a start.
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May 16, 2021 20:46
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Voldemort should have started a broom company. He is one of the only wizards who can actually make himself fly so obviously he has the greatest mastery of flight magic the world has ever seen. If he had applied himself and created the Fire Nimbus Bolt 9000 he would have enough money for the Death Eaters to take over the world. My man already looks like Jeff Bezos, might as well have his buying power too.
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May 16, 2021 21:25
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Cursed Child 2: Evil alt-universe Cedric is back and he's making wizarding teslas. Can Minister For Magic Granger and MACUSA speaker Jacob Goldstein IV regulate his dastardly plans before he buys nazis into power? (no) Side plot: How does First Minister of Scotland (for magic) Cho Chang navigate Scotland's return to the EU and the status of UK students in newly independent Wizarding Scotland? Third plot: An elderly Rabastan Lestrange, who is somehow still at large just like half of his inbred clan, investigates why Voldemort taught his bff Snape to fly instead of his side piece and true love Bellatrix. There is a tie-in plot for the secret Lestrange baby from Fantastic Beasts. Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 21:38 on May 16, 2021 |
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May 16, 2021 21:32
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:secret Lestrange baby reignofevil, you know what to do
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May 17, 2021 00:51
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