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bellows lugosi posted:
Getting some real American Gods vibes from that passage.
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Jun 25, 2021 15:10
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Pigsfeet on Rye posted:In your fanfic, why is he turning his torso 180 degrees to greet you? Is he caught in the act of irinating on a wall, and his wry smile is actually a grimace of embarassment? He angles his verdant tube in such a way that the afternoon sun catches the salty sheen, casting a brilliant kaleidescope and illuminating the motes of dust kicked up by his dong water cascading against the wall. In a breathless dazzle I let a slight gasp escape my piehole. The pickle man let's out a low whistle as he rotates his cucumbrian body slowly very slowly 180 degrees though his feet never move. His glassy eyes dart to mine and in them I see nothing, no surprise at my intrusion nor anger at my continued presence. His blank eyes flick brief downwards and my gaze follows. Chilling terror turns to warm gratitude as one white gloved hand travels the length of his tumescent torso. A thin-lipped smile slides across his face as the stream of pickle juice resumes and a shudder ripples down my butt. "Dill me up against a wall" I don't know who said it, but that's all we needed before... Please buy the rest on the kindle store if interested.
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Jun 25, 2021 15:27
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Pounded in the Dill Hole by The Pickle Man and Brined by his Cucumber Member
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Jun 25, 2021 15:36
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English Coastal Cheddar Panini tells me this place sources its cheese from Costco 
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Jun 25, 2021 15:51
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Aardvark, would you please give me a little background on why you've been to these places? Sense of adventure or career reasons? I'm sure I missed it in the thread, but I'm finally caught up. I love stopping in poo poo towns, but sadly I've never been west of Chicago, really. I'll probably never end up leaving the country, but I really want to travel around and see what I can of this one, especially now that I have a job that provides me with 20 days of vacation after the first year. And thanks so much for your contributions to SA, this poo poo keeps me coming back.
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Jun 25, 2021 17:16
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Since I had to find it: 
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Jun 25, 2021 17:17
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interwhat posted:Aardvark, would you please give me a little background on why you've been to these places? Sense of adventure or career reasons? I'm sure I missed it in the thread, but I'm finally caught up. I love stopping in poo poo towns, but sadly I've never been west of Chicago, really. I'll probably never end up leaving the country, but I really want to travel around and see what I can of this one, especially now that I have a job that provides me with 20 days of vacation after the first year. And thanks so much for your contributions to SA, this poo poo keeps me coming back. Lmao, I haven't been to most of these places. I just explore via Google Maps and collect/curate publicly posted photography. My family moved a lot cross country growing up, and all the time we spent on the road is where my interest in this stuff comes from, though.
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Jun 25, 2021 17:22
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Greatest Living Man posted:Since I had to find it: 
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Jun 25, 2021 17:38
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"Eeeyyy I'm mangin' on my dago dog 'ere, Pauly!" "Ooo!! Eeeey! Sorry Frankie I was listenin' to my WopMan 'ere and jivin' around like a brother WOWIE! SHAZAM! You know whaddamean?!" "Fuggettaboutit!" "Eyy yousa fuggettaboutit!" "We BOTH Forgottaboutit!" (together) "It'sa DAGO Dog! Eat 'em!" At your local delicatessen
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Jun 25, 2021 17:43
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Creek County, Oklahoma population 71,522 
        The food gets to be a surprise because for the first time ever, I ran out of Imgur upload tokens on the Android app. (50/day, sometimes times out and loses one)
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Jun 25, 2021 18:02
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well this is delightful
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Jun 25, 2021 18:03
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I bet if you cram a duck into that duck slide mid August by the time it slides out it'll be roasted to perfection.
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Jun 25, 2021 18:11
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I can't tell if I'm supposed to eat there or if I'm processing about to be booked.zedprime posted:I bet if you cram a duck into that duck slide mid August by the time it slides out it'll be roasted to perfection. That was my FIRST thought (well not the duck part) but looking closer I THINK the bird 'body' is just wood slats painted a silver'ish color, so it's probably ok and not just a shining tin oven for children to offer Baal.
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Jun 25, 2021 18:13
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The Bloop posted:
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Jun 25, 2021 18:15
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That's actually exactly what I picture Mozi looks like for some reason and I have no idea why
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Jun 25, 2021 18:16
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this guy owns a piano store in a town with a population of under 1k btw
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Jun 25, 2021 18:20
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Greatest Living Man posted:Since I had to find it: thanks, I'm bad at phone posting.
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Jun 25, 2021 18:43
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Aardvark! posted:Lmao, I haven't been to most of these places. I just explore via Google Maps and collect/curate publicly posted photography. On this episode of Dives, Dives, and Dives...
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Jun 25, 2021 18:46
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Major Danny McBride vibes  
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Jun 25, 2021 21:25
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Big Beef City posted:That's actually exactly what I picture Mozi looks like for some reason and I have no idea why i empathize strongly with his vibe
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Jun 25, 2021 21:27
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Aardvark! posted:this guy owns a piano store in a town with a population of under 1k btw There was a weird piano store in my neighborhood. Piano store isn't the weird part, it's just that my neighborhood is a tiny exclave of the main city isolated between the ocean and the industrial district of town. There is no reason to come here unless you live here. There are cheaper places to have a store like that that are in much higher traffic areas that you don't have to cross a massive bridge over trainyards and shipping depots to get to. I really think the piano store was a money laundering operation or drug/criminal enterprise front of some kind, because the dude was always there, 6 days a week for 6-10 hours. This place existed for like 20 years before dude died or whatever.
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Jun 26, 2021 02:08
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spookykid posted:There was a weird piano store in my neighborhood. Piano store isn't the weird part, it's just that my neighborhood is a tiny exclave of the main city isolated between the ocean and the industrial district of town. There is no reason to come here unless you live here. There are cheaper places to have a store like that that are in much higher traffic areas that you don't have to cross a massive bridge over trainyards and shipping depots to get to. I really think the piano store was a money laundering operation or drug/criminal enterprise front of some kind, because the dude was always there, 6 days a week for 6-10 hours. This place existed for like 20 years before dude died or whatever. Go in and ask for some "keys" and see what they bring out from the back. also bring like $20k just in case they bring the right kind.
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Jun 26, 2021 02:13
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interwhat posted:Aardvark, would you please give me a little background on why you've been to these places? Sense of adventure or career reasons? I'm sure I missed it in the thread, but I'm finally caught up. I love stopping in poo poo towns, but sadly I've never been west of Chicago, really. I'll probably never end up leaving the country, but I really want to travel around and see what I can of this one, especially now that I have a job that provides me with 20 days of vacation after the first year. And thanks so much for your contributions to SA, this poo poo keeps me coming back. I like to think of Aardvark just traveling around, righting wrongs and eating at lovely diners all around the country. Like Michael Landon in Highway to Heaven, but better.
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Jun 26, 2021 02:17
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quote:Please tell me you ordered the "Pipe Cleaner" and are to report on the experience
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Jun 26, 2021 02:24
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Greatest Living Man posted:Since I had to find it: 
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Jun 26, 2021 02:35
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https://twitter.com/JoshLipnik/status/1408603489589248000?s=20
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Jun 26, 2021 02:53
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If I may, I'd like to ask for stories/information/reflections of a piece of Americana that has not been fully realized in this thread: breastaurants. Hooters is the big famous one. And to a younger me, they embodied all I needed to know about America. Boobs, bimbos, beer all in a franchise level of mass produced tackiness sports bar setting. If I am in a city that has a Hooters, I make a point of visiting at least once. So far I have visited Hooters in America, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, Australia, and Korea. Yes, I know the disappointment that is an actual Hooters. Overpriced mediocre chicken, and pisswater beer in big glass mugs served to you by a young girl who is being actively exploited by her employer, and is forced to performatively flirt with middle aged losers who creepily ogle her in a work uniform that is designed to be uncomfortable. When I was in America years ago, I spoke to a Hooters waitress in Dallas who told me that they get paid as little as $2 an hour, so the HAVE to work for tips and do the "present boobs and giggle" otherwise they don't earn enough to eat. Anyway, I know that Hooters is now not the only brand that does restaurants like this, and also that (I assume), it is an America only phenomenon. So I was wondering if there are people who have worked there, or frequent places like this regularly, and would have Americana style stories of and information about them.
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Jun 26, 2021 03:08
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Redneck Heaven in Texas is so much worse than Hooters.
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Jun 26, 2021 03:17
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Aardvark! posted:Creek County, Oklahoma population 71,522 That's def some photos of Oklahoma, I tell ya what.
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Jun 26, 2021 03:18
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv9u7-RmFlQ
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Jun 26, 2021 07:02
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Big Beef City posted:"Eeeyyy I'm mangin' on my dago dog 'ere, Pauly!" ask for it wit gabbagool
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Jun 26, 2021 07:44
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The Bloop posted:well this is delightful Yeah it's kinda loving great 3 seasons of the year. Or maybe 2. Half the year it's probably great
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Jun 26, 2021 07:56
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Why is it that the brown food emporiums never seem to have windows? Is that what makes the people sad?
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Jun 26, 2021 09:52
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BrigadierSensible posted:
It's to pander for boomer customers and their kids that think like them. Seriously. That's the bulk of the market. There's a small base of women customers that eat at Hooters to avoid being stared down by creepy guys at Applebees, and they tip their servers typically very well. I cooked at a Hooters for a while, the kitchen is full of men. The back of house is run like any other chain restaurant. The food is from Sysco or another equally generic service that brings Tyson wings, and the rest of the food. Wages for servers are lower because they're expected to earn tips. I think I was making $11/hr to cook at the time, but that was going on a decade ago. My first shift was during a bikini/swimsuit event, it was packed with assholes. I would specifically avoid the oysters in land locked state restaurants. There's no reason a Hooters in South Dakota or wherever should be serving them (I was in a Memphis area store and the oysters were always turning the day after delivery). Typically everything else is fine because it can be frozen, like crab legs. It's a lovely business but it works. Twin Peaks is another similar chain. It's basically Applebees or TGI Fridays food and tits. There will always be an audience for breastaurants, because boomerism is a brain cycle for too many people, but there are always people willing to deal with the bullshit for tips, which can be quite large, but are often not. Also, the women at Hooters just destroy the bathroom daily. Mens room would routinely be a two minute clean, the ladies always looked like someone threw a party inside with all their gross friends. I had been working in bar kitchens for years by that point, so I was rather desensitized to their practices before starting there. It's not the worst place for a guy to work in a kitchen after a divorce, but it's a terrible environment for women who serve. I haven't eaten in a Hooters since I quit. Also Adam Sandler is obsessed with Hooters. Seriously.
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Jun 26, 2021 12:44
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Niagara Falls the natural spectacle is cool as poo poo but yeah it’s ruined by the tourist bullshit. Also the surrounding towns are dumps. When I went it was the fact that the river downstream was literally foaming with toxic waste and we’d just had that sprayed on us as we rode on the “Lady of the Lake” that put me off
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Jun 26, 2021 15:24
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BrigadierSensible posted:When I was in America years ago, I spoke to a Hooters waitress in Dallas who told me that they get paid as little as $2 an hour, so the HAVE to work for tips and do the "present boobs and giggle" otherwise they don't earn enough to eat. In 17 states, the minimum wage for tipped employees is effectively $2.13 (this is the Federal minimum). Not all restaurants in those states pay just the minimum, but the majority do.
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Jun 26, 2021 17:02
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smellmycheese posted:When I went it was the fact that the river downstream was literally foaming with toxic waste and we’d just had that sprayed on us as we rode on the “Lady of the Lake” that put me off Typically (most of) the toxic waste comes from down stream of the falls. NF NY is known however, for just blatantly pumping raw sewage in to the lower river as well. There was some big controversies a few years back about giant plumes of brown going in to the river and probably some bad smells too. At least on the Canadian side we're much more discrete about our sewage.
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Jun 26, 2021 17:33
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Aardvark! posted:Creek County, Oklahoma population 71,522 my imgur uploads are refreshed so here's the food from that place    
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Jun 26, 2021 17:35
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Catfished again, thanks Durgesh.
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Jun 26, 2021 17:36
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A few pages back, but my high school does this too. Though not as far back as 1920.
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Jun 26, 2021 17:53
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