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 Alright, despite the title, let's get one thing out of the way; this game is not related to Secret of Mana. Some of the game mechanics are similar, such the the ring system and real-time combat, but that's about where it ends. This game was actually developed in America; the idea came from Japan, originally, but began development in the Washington office. It has some major B-movie (the kind with extra cheese) elements and inspirations, which is partially the idea it was developed with. There are also plenty of references packed into the 24-megabit cartridge, which makes it a hell of a fun game. It saw release in America in October of 1995, and in the PAL regions in February, 1996. Oddly, it never saw a Japanese release, so they finally know how we felt about not getting some great RPGs of the time (I'm looking at you, Live-A-Live and Treasure Hunter G). It's a very solid RPG with very nice graphics, a very interesting main character, a kickass partner, plenty of interesting and engaging NPCs, fascinating locales, and a very fun (if occasionally frustrating) magic system. It's only single player, but there are some multi-player hacks that exist, but I recommend playing this game yourself. It's very solid, easy to get into, and the story is fun and interesting, if a little simple. The music has some good points to it, but I find it a little lacking at the end of the day. I'm not going to say I'm going to get 100% of everything done in this game; there's a lot of stuff to this game, and I'm not going to guarantee 100% of it all being done. I'll be sure to do as much as I can, but there are some things that are a humongous pain in the rear end to get done, but we'll see a lot of things done here. I'll have videos for the boss fights, as I usually do, and I'll get some .gifs of the good moments, and with that said, let's boogie. Also, I shouldn't have to say this, but please, as always, NO SPOILERS Updates Update One: Outta Of The Bijou, Into The Fire Update Two: Assume I Said Something About A Clever Girl Update Three: Fire Eyes Teaches Us How To Flash Folks Update Four: Into The Bugmuck Update Five: Thrashing Thraxx I Missed A Formula: Acid Rain Update Six: Strong Heart Loves Our Doggie Update Seven: Sic Semper Evello Mortem Vipera Update Eight: A Very Little Bit Of Progress Update Nine: Salabog? More Like Salapunk Update Ten: It's Getting Hott In Hurr, So Throw Off All Your Spells Update Eleven: A Series Of Chutes--TO HELL Update Twelve: Welcome To Crustacia, Where The Punches Are Made Up And The Rogues Don't Matter Update Thirteen: Secret of Evermore: Canine Drift Update Fourteen: Holy Christ, I'm Glad I Didn't Screenshot That poo poo Update Fifteen: A Fuckwit With A Foot In His rear end Update Sixteen: Click That Tindeck Link, It's Seiren's Favorite Song I Missed A Formula: Atlas Update Seventeen: The Great Pyramid Of Crushiza Update Eighteen: Escapes And Drains And Fireballs, Oh My! Update Nineteen: York, You Goddamned Dumbshit Update Twenty: LET'S MEET THE BEST DOGGIE Update Twenty One: Back Alley Deals, Carnival Shows and Pig Races, Oh My! Update Twenty Two: It's Amazing! It's Stupendous! It's A Festival Of Fears You'll Never Believe! Update Twenty Three: This Is Just The Start Of Maze Related Shenanigans Update Twenty Four: In Which We're Okay With Opening The Road To Mass Murder Update Twenty Five: Let's Loot And Scoot Update Twenty Six: I Guess I've Gotta Do This Update Twenty Seven: And Thus, We Close Out The Forest Update Twenty Eight: York Is Still a Dumbshit Update Twenty Nine: Friends In High Places Update Thirty: Face Off Update Thirty One: Let's Gauge If We're Wheeling Through Update Thirty Two: Ask And Ye Shall Receive Update Thirty Three: Space Station Evermore Valley Update Thirty Four: Seriously, That's It? Update Thirty Five: The Final Battle For Evermore Simply Simon, An Actual Chemist, Explains If The Formulas Are Viable! .gifatars and Fan Art located here! We start with Explosionface, who is back to doing his usual thing! Explosionface posted:Oh, sure, act like you can boss me around and get some results. Explosionface posted:Are you sure that's really Viper Commander? Kheldarn posted:
Kheldarn posted:Happy (belated) birthday, DoubleNegative! Explosionface posted:I may have been sitting on a couple of these for a while... Kheldarn posted:Sadly, Toaster Dog doesn't lend itself to :toastertoot: as well as the other forms. Something Interesting! Shardix posted:Yeah, I remember that. I think this got linked as part of the discussion: http://rainwoodworks.blogspot.com/ There might be some minor spoilers in these, but if you're interested in the game and what it was (allegedly) supposed to be, check 'em out. Hell, check 'em out anyway, as they're pretty neat. Leave fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Jun 1, 2016 |
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Feb 23, 2016 06:54
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Update One: Outta Of The Bijou, Into The Fire I don't have much to say here, folks, so let's just boogie on out.  Squaresoft did a lot of really good RPGs back in the SNES era.  I'm...I'm not sure what I'm looking at here.  And this doesn't clear anything up.    What do we name our main character? We've got lots of spaces to work with, but keep it to actual letters; I don't want to type out any ?, &, ', or anything like that when I'm typing out this guy's name. We'll do a couple of days for voting, and the name with the most votes is what we'll roll with.  The kid's a bit of a goon, including having a huge love for schlocky B-movies, and this seems like a goony name to start with.  We begin our story in some small town, in some state, in some small county, in America.  And nearly fifty-one years ago. Yeesh.   The Adventures of Loxley, eh?  In case you somehow missed that this is a way long time ago, here's a view of an American Main street way back when. Or if you're not familiar with this view of American culture. My town still kind of has a main street like this, but a lot of the older shops are closed up and not many things survived Wal-Mart and Meijer.    I've gotta say, I don't quite understand the old-school architecture of some places. Why were statues of people so prominent in their design? Is this considered Victorian? I honestly don't know.  I can picture this all too easily being said in a Resident Evil title. The mansion doesn't help things.   Do things in mansions ever end well? Seriously, there's Resident Evil, Clock Tower, Maniac Mansion, Sweet Home, Final Fantasy VII--Mansions seem like pretty terrible places to be in video games, especially if you're not the main character.    I don't have a good link for this one. There's this, but that looks like it sucked.  This Marty McFly lookin'-motherfucker is our protagonist. He's currently named Gregory, but we can change that, can't we?  And that's his dog. He currently has no name, but let's get a new name for the dog, too.  Yeah, he's into B-movies.  I'm willing to bet he's probably done some extensive write-ups on them. Or would, if he lived in today's world with unlimited access to the Internet.  Just imagine his VHS collection. Or his Laserdisc collection. He probably rebought all those titles on DVD, then Bluray, too.  But never mind that, the dog is running off!  Looking at that shop, is anyone else thinking of the bike shop from Diff'rent Strokes?   I don't think you're catching that cat, doggy.  You, uh, you missed completely where it was going.   I know my dog wouldn't go into that mansion, unless there were people there. Or maybe he would have; Tanner's a sweet dog, but he's only about as sharp as a celery stick.  Does it still count as breaking and entering if the door is open? Or is that merely trespassing?     We don't see any of this inside; we're just stuck outside while he and his dog run around this mansion.  I guess it's not a very big--  That's probably not good.  I'm sure Googling that only brings up this game, but I'm not going to risk it. That's someone's fetish, and I don't care to find out how they apply it.  Stop! Don't open that door!    Ah, nobody ever listens to that. Look, he even let the dog in.  Oh, shaddup. I know that's a poor joke; just enjoy the Resident Evil reference.  Don't expect him to stop with the movie references. He's seen waaaay too many.    C'mon, haven't you seen enough movies to know not to say that? Sheesh.  I sometimes don't understand dog's thought process in chewing on things. I've seen my dog take a Chapstick just to gnaw on it, and he didn't even get the cap off or anything. Just chewing on plastic.   No!!  ...Well, that's not--  I don't even get--  Well, that's cute.    And he's gone. On the upside, he didn't explode, so maybe he's still okay.   We might not be.   Must the future; everything looks to be chrome.   Good Lord, he has a chin you could hammer armor on.  Please don't kill us and store things in our body.  Uh, bub, look to--  Ah, now he's noticed him.   I don't even know where we are, man!   : He just told the last guy to pull up his pants and get out of his office. Come along.  : It's no one...No one at all! Continue with your work, Professor. That was...Odd, but whatever. Maybe the Prof is just absent-minded.   Thank you, Carltron.  Man, butlers have weird names.  Well, this is interesting.  Hey, we've got a health bar.  Not much health, but here's a chest to loot.  Well, heloooooo!   Cool! It's not typical that we get such cool toys in the beginning of an RPG.  Alright, first battle of the game, let's dance.   These enemies can't really hurt us, so we're in no real danger.  You might notice that under our health bar, a percentage is ticking up. That's a major part of the combat system; while not at 100%, we'll do much, much weaker attacks, hitting for a fraction of our usual damage. We can't go swinging around all willy-nilly; we'll have to dodge around enemies while waiting to recharge, otherwise we'll do so little damage, we'll be killed before we can hurt any enemies. There's another caveat to this, but I'll get to that later. Sometimes attacks change, such as shown here; we can only fire the bazooka when at 100%, otherwise we're just using it as a glorified club.   And the bazooka is pretty powerful when it hits an enemy.  Yeah, when I said we do fractions of our usual damage at less than 100%, I wasn't joking. We only did about fifty times more damage here than by just hitting them.  Before long, the other robot is dispatched, and we've won our first battle!  But with the fight won, where do we go from here?   And where the hell is our dog?  How convenient!  As long as it's not trying to eat your face, I think whatever's in here is okay.  Hey, cool! Let's--     How much worse could this day get?   ...Oh, that much worse.   But, hey, we made it out unscathed!  Though, our bazooka is toast.    If nothing else, I want the dog to be okay.   Sweet merciful crap!   I suppose this is our dog...I mean, we saw him shift into this form earlier.   But we'll throw dirt into his eyes to make sure. I guess.  My dog is just awful at fetch. Unless it's with one of his monkey dolls. He'll play with those all day, long after you've gotten tired.    Good Lord, he's in kill mode!  ...Is that a bone?  I don't even want to know where he got that from.  But it's our first melee weapon of the game. I'll take it. We might need it.  Let's worry about that next time. For now, I'm taking a break. And while we're on break, BOLD a vote for the boy's new name and what to name our dog! Take a few days to get it done; we're in no hurry here.
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Feb 23, 2016 06:54
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Scalding Coffee posted:Are you going to mention the stuff you passed over? Like with the bazooka just now? I'm not sure what else to say about the bazooka; it was a powerful ranged weapon that is now broken. If I've missed something, as per usual, feel free to point it out.
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Feb 24, 2016 19:31
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Tell you guys what; Eevee did all that hard work, but take another day to vote. We'll give it until midnight tomorrow before the votes are finalized. 21 hours, roughly.
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Feb 25, 2016 09:00
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I'll throw in a vote for York and Zach.
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Feb 26, 2016 02:46
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Not counting my own vote, but I'm pretty sure that we'll be playing as York and Zach for this playthrough. I'll wait for Eevee's final tally before I go ahead, but I'm pretty sure those're the results.
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Feb 26, 2016 10:30
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I probably should mention that voting ended when Eevs posted his final tally. We're going with York and Zach for our Boy and his Dog.
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Feb 27, 2016 02:44
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Update Two: Assume I Said Something About A Clever Girl Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on the Secret of Evermore, we started the game and shot some robots with a bazooka. Today, we're going to actually start some exploration, so let's boogie.  York and Zach are ready to start their whirlwind adventure. Zach hasn't been officially named yet, though, but gently caress it, we're close enough.  Being an RPG, there are a few stats that do different things, so let's compare our two characters. They're also the only two we're getting.   Neither of our characters have particularly impressive stats at the moment, but that'll change. Zach is a bit better than York, being meatier and more evasive, but he's also some sort of wolf-dog.  Zach can also search around for stuff (what stuff, we'll get to in a little bit), and we can set his AI to either be more aggressive and murdery, or we can make sure he hunts around a little more. I prefer him to be attacking, since he's really goddamned good at it.  And, finally, the bone that Zach brought us is our first sword type weapon; we'll have access to axes and spears later on.   Alright, let's get into the game itself. A lot of the music is ambient stuff, and this track is no different. As some people in the thread have mentioned, Jeremy Soule is responsible for this soundtrack; he's done the music for Icewind Dale, Knights of the Old Republic, Morrowind, Oblivion and Skyrim, and the list goes on and on. This was his first soundtrack, too.  Inside of the gourd is a pretty basic healing item, and it restores 40 HP when used on either York or Zach.  And that plant is our first enemy of the game. It's in the middle of its attacking animation, where it whips the poo poo out of you with its tentacle thingies.  it's the Wimpy Flower and has 18 HP to its name. We get a whole two experience points for taking it out.  Zach here did most of its health in this one hit.  When they're killed, they explode into a pile of petals.    Moving through the jungle, we encounter our second enemy, the mighty Mosquito. They have an entire hit point to their name, as well as dropping a single experience point.  Also, when you take out one of these guys, the game makes sure you goddamn well know it.  Zach here is sniffing at this spot incessantly; this means there's something to pick up here.  In this case, we find some Roots. The use for ingredients will become known next update, but just know that they're important.    This game is pretty. Sure, it's just a jungle right now, but I think it looks pretty nice. The ambient music here adds a ton to that feeling; if you haven't clicked that Tindeck link above, do so, then flip through these screenshots. It makes the jungle feel alive.  Yeah, there's not much to look at here, but c'mon, it's the first area of the game. We're killing plants. Just be patient.  Hey, look, a gourd!   Oil! A dinosaur must have been stored in this gourd.  The scenery is hiding us, but there's some Ash over here.  And here's some Water. Don't ask me for specifics, but it is different than water.  Doot doot doo, just toolin' 'round the jungle, doot doot doo  So we don't take a ton of damage from their attacks, but this is early in the game, and that's 20% of our health. That's kind of scary.  Zach, by virtue of having more health and defense, takes a hit better than York does.  Not that it seems to bother him very much; if there's one word I'd use to describe Zach, it's chill. He's just a dog, doin' his dog thing, hanging with his buddy, York.  The Flowers can drop Petals, too, which is nice.   Going to grab that other gourd leads to our first level up. Zach takes a little longer than York, for some reason.  It's not a huge boost, but hey, all the same. Talons serve as our currency.  Alright, let's get off this first screen.  This next part is in video form, if you'd like to watch that. Includes some combat, too, if you want to see that in motion. There's no wind, but lookit that leaf...Well, not soar, but fall kind of majestically.   Oh, God, York is the type to quote movies in this kind of situation. Or any situation.  Hmm, what's that over there?  Fella's kinda cute, isn't he?  Hey, buddy, how's it going?  Where you goin'? We're not here to hurt yo---    OH poo poo HE'S HERE TO HURT US OH poo poo   Fucker!  He scampers off after that hit, which he would have done anyways. The Raptor has 50 HP and is worth 24 experience.  Rinse and repeat that pattern; you get the idea here.  The Raptor hits like a son of a bitch, too.  Enemies have evade rates as well, and sometimes, you'll miss. It really sucks.  ...Oh, poo poo. That's not good.  When his HP hits zero, Zach decides to chill out and lay down. It's a lot better than having to see a dead dog sprite, I suppose.  He'll also get up and follow York around, just so you're not leaving your dog behind.  Alright, we killed the Raptor! And yes, he exploded upon death. Okay, let's move on, and--  Get our poo poo wrecked.  Yeah, another Raptor shows up. A fair few will come along, and you can win this battle, but it's kind of hard. It takes a bit of luck and some skill, but it's okay to lose. It's not uncommon, either.  No matter what, though, Zach has our back.  Like any good dog, he's loyal and loves his buddy.  I have no doubts that he's taking us to safety.  Or in for a ritual sacrifice. Whichever works, really.  Ah, just took a Raptor claw to the guts. Could have walked it off, honestly.   Well, it was a clever girl.  I would like to know their bush teleporting technique. That was some Scooby Doo poo poo there.  I'd reckon if Zach here really took after his appearance, he would have just munched on York's face.   Hopefully, you know something about bazooka repair. Or have a catapult. Or something, really, to get us outta here.  Or we can save our game. Sure, yeah, that's good, too.  Fire Eyes, eh? Sounds like a hell of a Chief.  Robbing people blind in an RPG just isn't as fun when it's okay to do.   Yeah, let's do that next time. For now, we'll take a break. However, next time on Secret of Evermore, we'll explore Fire Eyes' village, so stay tuned! Leave fucked around with this message at 07:59 on Feb 29, 2016 |
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Feb 28, 2016 09:09
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Explosionface posted:Hey, that's my schtick! Then you better get back to it! 
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Feb 29, 2016 04:48
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silversatyr posted:it's one of the few games where most 'treasure' doesn't matter too much if it's missed - it's there if you want to nab it but it's not going to set you back in the game if you don't. Which is nice! I remember you mentioning you did game design; would you say that's good design? It gives the player incentive to not obsessively hunt for every piece of treasure, but allows for extra items and the like, but at the same time, it offers them no incentive to search for treasure, which means less exploration, which could lead to trouble down the line due to lower levels, and the possibility that you've created a large, fabulous looking map, in which most players won't explore it, because there's no real incentive to do so.
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Feb 29, 2016 06:50
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Update Three: Fire Eyes Teaches Us How To Flash Folks Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we got our poo poo wrecked by some Raptors and Zach dragged us off to a nearby village. Today, we're going to explore that village, so let's boogie.     We were given permission to raid the gourds in this village, which take some of the fun outta it. Nectar is another restorative item, restoring 120 HP when used.  We can save our game here and this guy will also act as an inn for us, charging ten Talons.    Incredibly, from the fire pit, we pull out some Ash.    But however will I grow stronger? I could grind off of plants and mosquitos, I s'pose, but I won't be satisfied until I've shed the blood of the strongest creatures around.     Plenty of Water in here. Maybe we'll have a use for it soon.  There's also plenty of villagers around here, so let's chat 'em up.  He's no Buzz Buzz, kiddo.  Alchemy is actually really important, and we'll need a ton of ingredients.  I've got a femur and a dog. I think people have done more with less.  I did have a bazooka.  Honey is the strongest healing item, restoring 300 HP when used. It'll be a minute before we see any of that.  As someone in the thread pointed out, these guys don't speak like your typical cavemen, like you'd expect in this sort of village. I'm chalking it up to Fire Eyes' teachings.  The metric system?! Dear God, we've truly left Podunk!  Let's storm into this hut and teach them what the hell a yard is!  Giant bug? Bugmuck? Well, I think I know where we'll be going in the future.  As for why, I think this sentence speaks for itself.  There's two parts of Water in the other gourd.  Fire pits are good for finding Ash. I'm sure this surprises none of you.   Ah, a shopkeeper!   Petals, we know about.  Pixie Dust is the revival item of the game; Zach can't use revival items on York, so when he loses all HP, if there's a Pixie Dust in the inventory, York will be automatically revived with 75 HP. And if Zach bites the dust  Just throw him a biscuit and he'll be fine. I think this would actually work; I know for drat sure my dog would come back from the dead if it meant he got a treat.  Essence will heal status effects. I grab another couple of petals, some biscuits, and a couple of Essences. I couldn't afford a Pixie Dust.  We also grab 2 Roots and 4 parts Water from the other gourds.   Fire Eyes is a B-movie loving nerd? This could work out well for us!  ...I'm not sure why York is finding Ash there, of all places, but I'm sure this fellow won't mind.    : He said that there may be rare alchemy ingredients hidden in the bug's skeleton. Strong Heart searches the area often for ingredients. And when he returns, he always gives some of them to me. Then, I sell them to the townspeople who know alchemy formulas. In short, this guy will sell us alchemy ingredients when we actually have some recipes to use.  We also find three parts of Clay in the other gourd.    : I hear that you had a tough fight in the jungle. I hope you're OK now. Alright, let's go meet the chief, at the hut in the center.   Hmm. Other villagers are starting to gather 'round.   Yeah, they begin chanting "Fire Eyes." It's...Fairly creepy. Let's meet the big cheese.   ...Huh. It's a little girl.  'sup, Liz?   : Well, York. Step into my hut. We'll talk. No reason not to!  : Is that the wild beast that saved you? : Yeah. But, he's not a wild beast. He's my dog.: What's his name? Normally, we'd go to a screen and name him, but I cut that out, since we already voted to name the dog Zach.   C'mon, it's not like we named him Bonerhitler or something.  : I’m not really sure where “here” is, to tell you the truth.: You’re on Evermore, in my prehistoric village. I’m the leader.: You wouldn’t know how to get to Podunk from here, would you?: Podunk? Hmmmm... Interesting. I might! Maybe we can work something out. How’d you like to make yourself useful around here?  I'd like to point out that I've found at least a partial game script for this one, so I'll be copying and pasting as much dialog as I can. I'll do what I can to fix any mistakes in what I copy/paste, but I can't promise I'll get them all. And for these two portraits, of York and Elizabeth, I couldn't find one of York without the Bone Crusher or of Liz, and I tried the Spriter's Resource, so I had to cut them out of some screenshots. Any oddities regarding their appearance is due to that.  : He’s been searching for alchemy ingredients that are plentiful in the muck. If you can help him get back to the village, I will help you with whatever you need.  If I'd seen this movie, I can't help but imagine I'd be quoting it far more often than York does.  'course, I'd also choose a better quote than this one. Just...Yeesh.   You'll give us a real sword? Maybe an axe?  : I call it “Flash.” It’s pretty powerful against mean creatures. You can use the formula whenever you have 1 part Wax and 2 parts Oil. Just select the spell and let it fly. The more you use the Flash Formula, the stronger it will get.  So, Alchemy serves as our magic system in this game. As long as we have the necessary ingredients, we can cast the spell. Much like in Secret of Mana, weapons and magic alike can be leveled up to make them stronger and more useful. Zach can't use magic, since he's a dog, but the ingredients he's been helping us find finally have a use. I mean, not immediately, since we have just the one spell, but they will be useful.  We can also buy alchemy ingredients now (not that we can afford any), if we so choose.  We also get some more Water from the other gourd.  We'll get to starting this next bit next update.  For now, though, we'll finish exploring the village.  One neat thing is that you can choose which spells you have equipped. This is really handy because there is an assload of formulas in the game, and we won't be using all of them. Instead of having to scroll through the duds I don't want to use, I can just unequip them and keep my magic list clutter free.   I suppose. I'm not really a lizard guy, so I can't say for sure. Certainly seems like a big lizard.   Yeah, yeah, we'll go find him sooner or later. Keep your fruit on.   I've a better idea of where we are now; based on the three ladies we've seen, all dressed like this, we're in the ancient homeland of Carmen Miranda.  Free Petals are cool; we'll need ourselves a lot of healing items, until we get the healing spell and some more levels under our belt.   : Fire Eyes protects us from them.  We also snag another 5 parts of Water.  Up in the northwest corner of the village is another hut.  Just wait until you see some later alchemy spells. There's one in particular that is just so very   : My family has used alchemy for many generations. Alchemy effects increase in strength when you use formulas often.  This would have been a better spot for the ingredient shop, considering that guy's speech.  However, this shop is important, too.  Because he sells armor! We're too poor to afford any, but hey, he sells it!  He also has a Leather Collar, Vine Bracelet and a Grass Hat. Had we managed to defeat the four Raptors that appeared earlier, he would have tossed a free Grass Vest our way.  We find (what else?) more Water in the other chest.  Up at the north of the village, we find a couple of bits of Wax, which means we can Flash something now!  ...I could have phrased that better.  Let's see what this guy has for sale.  That top line looks a little confusing, but I already have two bits of Wax (the bits we just found), and he'll sell us packs of five for 120 Talons. We can get five Oils for 100 Talons, 5 Crystals for 80 Talons, 5 bits of Ash for 60 Talons, and 5 parts of Water for 60 Talons. For those of you curious, we've currently got 20 parts of Water.  On that note, this update has been finished.  With full HP (and only 24 Talons to my name), we don't need to rest right now.  However, this is good by me. Saving is a good thing.  Next time, on Secret of Evermore, we'll start working our way toward the Bugmuck to the East! Stay tuned! Leave fucked around with this message at 07:28 on Mar 2, 2016 |
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Mar 2, 2016 07:20
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Update Four: Into The Bugmuck Welcome back, folks. Last time, we explored Fire Eyes' village and met the girl, Elizabeth, herself. Today, we're going to start our adventure into the Bugmuck, so let's boogie.  Looking at this shot now, it almost looks like Zach is preparing to eat York.  Dropping a piece of meat, York takes the time to run like hell.   We are going to see a shitload of levels coming up. Coming into the Bugmuck, if you take the time to make some cash to buy ingredients and armor, like I did, you'll rake in the EXP.  As we have new enemies coming up!  Like that guy right there. Just look at him.  This is a Skelesnail. With 30 HP, they'll take a few hits to down, but it takes longer than that to kill them. Every time you hit them, as you can sort of see in this shot, they go flying backward. They attack with gentle jumps, floating slowly to the ground, and smashing into you with their shells.  They drop 15 Talons and 20 EXP a piece. I've been consulting a GameFAQs guide for these monster stats, and apparently, there are some monsters that have properties that aren't immediately obvious. These guys, for instance, lower the Hit Rate of the non-controlled character by 30.  And here's a shot of a dog making an abomination explode.  I spend some time killing these Skelesnails, gaining some money for supplies and stuff.  Let's move along.  There's a whirlpool there, and they're kind of important.    And not just because they make the ground eat you. I mean, that's sort of cool, but it's where this pool takes us that's important.    And we get a great "HOOOOOLY CRAP" face outta York.   But not as good as the face Zach gives us.  Ugh. I'm sure you now have sand in places you didn't know sand could get into.  Well, there's a cave here, so may as well head inside.  I imagine this guy going to get groceries is probably a huge pain in the rear end.  Hey, rear end in a top hat, I'm trying to kill monsters using a bone. Don't judge me for being a little slow.  Or we could just do speed like a jaguar...   : It gives the wearer the ability to run with the speed of the fastest feline. And it's free with any purchase, today only! This guy acts as a shop out in the field, letting you resupply without going the ten feet back to Fire Eyes' village.  He also sells Nectar, which the village shop doesn't have. I buy a single Petal, since I'm still not rolling in the dough.  And for 20 Talons, we get a free accessory!  We can now sprint around like a jackass, but it depends on our stamina bar. Once we hit 0%, we'll go back to walking.  We now have a pouch for holding accessories.  We don't have to equip any accessories, as they'll just automatically activate when we receive them. We can see their effects here. There's more on this later, when we get to some accessories (that just plain-rear end don't work), but for now, we can run like a jaguar.  We also snag a bit of Clay and two parts Water. I'm hoping the offer to take from the gourds in the village extended out this far.  And this is what it looks like when we run around. Little jackassy, but much quicker than walking.  We can also run past whirlpools now. I'm not sure why York couldn't run before, but it might have something to do with him doing little besides watching movies and looking for vintage Marty McFly gear.  After this, if we get caught in a different whirlpool, we'll be thrown around this map randomly. Sometimes we go back, sometimes it's a lateral shift, but it's always annoying.  That's right; with that advice in mind, we'll never---  Son of a bitch.   Aww, shaddup, you.   Moving around the map, you'll see these pools pop up. As long as you're paying attention, and occasionally quick with the run button, you shouldn't fall prey to any more.  Though, if you're trying to murderize something, that doesn't work out quite so well.    The nice thing about level ups in this game is that they're a full restore to your HP. If things are getting bad and you're low on supplies, if you're careful, you might be able to save yourself by gaining a level. It won't solve all your problems, but it might give you the boost needed to get back to somewhere you can restock.   Crystals will be coming in handy soon. We could have bought some back in the village.  Over on this side is a set of steps that allow us up onto the rocks around the area.  Nothing down here, except for this mosquito. He was splattered soon after this.  Skelesnails are the most prominent enemy around here, which is fine by me.  Following the path is this gourd, which holds a Petal.  And we can come back to this first area.  Well, if nothing else, I suppose there was some Clay here.   Enemies can drop things upon death, and they'll have a different death animation for when they do.  These guys turn into a pile of pink dust.  This could have also been a small amount of money; enemies will normally drop money upon death, but when they drop it after death, like this could have been, you get that in addition to the money they already dropped.   And now we're coming into the Bugmuck proper. It's a tar pit.  With horrific monsters living inside of it!   OH GOD THEIR TEETH ARE HORRIFIC PAIN DAGGERS oh, yeah, you can also see a maggot down at the bottom of the screen.  With 30 HP, they're not too tough, especially with the levels we've gained. They only drop 4 EXP and 4 Talons.   These assholes, however, have 50 HP, but drop just 22 EXP and 17 Talons. If you're grinding, the Skelesnails are a much better option.   Hey, look, another cave.  It's hard to read, but we got two Crystals out of this gourd.   Before entering the cave, I get my revenge.  I sincerely hope you're Strong Heart.  In all fairness, you do live in...How do I say this politely?  A shithole. You live in a shithole.   Strong Heart must have a set of brass balls.  I'll never turn down more magic. Magic is good. Especially when you throw some of this together and some of that and---  Well, yeah, basically.   Combine some Crystals and Clay, which we've found a good bit of, and we've got a new attack spell.   And this guy also sells ingredients.  I stock up on Oil for Flash, since I like it better than Hard Ball. I'm not sure which is better, though. From what I can tell, according to a GameFAQs topic about it, Flash will end up a little stronger than Hard Ball. If anyone has a more definitive answer, I'd love to hear it. If we could get some good mechanics chat going on here, I'd be game for learning about it.  However, on that note, we're going to take a break. We've got some more Bugmuck to go through, and I couldn't find a good break point later on in my footage, so next time, let's see if we can finish off our first dungeon area! Stay tuned!
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Mar 4, 2016 22:49
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Update Five: Thrashing Thraxx Hey, everyone! We're back with another Secret of Evermore update; last time, we started our trip into the Bugmuck, where we found an alchemist, learned Hard Ball, and then saved our game. Today, we're going to finish off the Bugmuck and find Strong Heart, so let's boogie.  I'm glad our new alchemist friend was so cool with us.  Hey, look, a mosquito!  May as well try out our new spell.  It seemed to take that fella a moment to realize he was being murderized.  Moving along, let's see our other spell in action.  Neither spell is particularly powerful, right now, but as we get them some levels, they'll get stronger.  If I remember to use them like I should. There's a good chance I'll forget.    In other news, I tried Nutella for the first time last night.  And, dear God, is it tasty.  My wife had me try it with pretzel sticks, and I had to actively fight not to finish the bag and open the second one she had.  I imagine Nutella is tasty and delicious on many other things. I'm thinking of trying it on donuts.   Over to the left, we find some more Clay.  For now, we're going to skip past the entrance to that structure and keep exploring.  Over here, I use and grab another Petal.  And our dog hits level 5.   Looking at it, does that structure remind anyone else of a giant bug?  This entrance could be the mouth or something.  Maybe I'm reaching.  These slides are on either side. If you're running this place for the first time (or if it's been a while and you're not using a guide), you will probably be quite familiar with them by the end of it.   There are maggots and Tar Skulls littered around here, but they're basically just annoyances at this point.  Another annoyance here, and the main gimmick, is that when you cross over certain paths, they will crumble and disappear. I've also gotten my rear end kicked a bit here.  So here's a Petal in action. 40 HP recovered, and you don't take damage until you've been healed.  That path just above us crumbled before we even stepped on it.  As did this one.  At this point, frustrated at these stupid paths, I also realized I had a good bunch of money, so I hoof it back to the village.  On the way back, our Bone Crusher hits level two.  What does that mean, exactly? If you look at our stamina, you'll notice it's now replaced with a bar. At 100% stamina, we can hold down the attack button to start charging our attack.  Which leads to a big ol' pimpsmack with our Femur of Fury, which will deal a bunch of damage.   Let's buy some armor!   We walk away with a Grass Vest, Grass Hat, and Vine Bracelet. I would have bought Zach the Leather Collar, but I didn't have the money for it. The Vest and Hat have a defense bonus of 2, while the Bracelet has a bonus of 1.  And Zach has a ton of defense anyways. The Leather Collar has a bonus of 5. And if we're patient, we can get a free one later.  And back to the Bugmuck!  Where we hit level 7!  Alright, let's get back to this poo poo.  Just gotta navigate our way through and--  ...We're left with one option. Let's accept our fate with dignity!  THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE DIGNITY  Alright, so, I would like to guide you through this place and show you the path to take, but that'd be boring as gently caress in screenshots.  And somehow, seeing me hit a maggot with a bone is more interesting.  Let's probe deeper into the lair of the giant bug.    This looks like a maze, but it really isn't. The upper paths crossing over the lower makes it look confusing, but there's no criss-crossing or anything like that with them.  There are these paths leading outside, though.  This one leads to nowhere.  On the other side, we can get somewhere.   And not just to this Petal. Though, you probably will want all the Petals you can get.   Dashing on through (nothing interesting was missed), we come out the other side.  Leading to another Petal. But we're full up on Petals.  So I use a Petal on York, head south, and go back into the lair.   Being able to dash is so very nice. It helps with speeding past enemies that aren't worth fighting.  And for reaching Biscuits.  From there, we head north, to the boss fight.  This fight goes on waaaay too long and I could have done better, but don't judge me!  Sweet Christ, look at that fuckin' guy.  And, yes, that is the same boss from the box art. I'm not sure why Thraxx is on the cover, but I suppose he is a good eye-catching monster.  So, there's a lot going on in this fight. Thraxx has alchemy to use, two arms that hit like bastards, and he can drop maggots into the arena, so you have to fight them, too, in addition to staying out of range of his strikes and wondering if he's going to blast you.  And you can see his heart behind his ribcage; that's his weakpoint. If we want to do any appreciable damage, we've gotta get in there.   Just wanted to show off smashing a maggot with our charged attack. Any damage above 50 pops into those big numbers.   If you get hit by one of his claws, it'll do a bit of damage and fling you backward. If you're not careful, you can get caught in a loop where you try to attack the claws and keep getting smacked around.   Thraxx has 600 HP to his name. Until we get at that heart, we'll not be doing much more damage than this.  In case you didn't get the point just yet, alchemy is magic by another name. Bosses and some enemies can use it, and I'm not sure how Thraxx here is throwing ingredients together.    If you lose track of your HP, Acid Rain can easily end your poo poo. It's nothing to scoff at.   It's hard to see it, but I'm smacking the Heart with a regular attack.  The Heart takes damage quite poorly.  After striking the heart, Thraxx lets out a shriek that sends York and Zach flying back, across the arena.  It's not unusual to see Zach fall at least once during this fight, so that Biscuit will come in handy.  We get some big, green, fancy sparkles to bring our canine companion back.  And then I throw a Flash at the heart.   Alchemy passes through the ribcage, but I prefer using physical attacks to take care of it. Alchemy is kind of expensive at this time, since ingredients are kind of costly, and when you get a charged hit off on the Heart, it does a shitload of damage.  Throwing fireballs at a giant bug's heart is pretty kickass, though, so I keep it up.  And Flash hits level 1!   After taking out the 250 HP that each arm has, Zach gains a level!  And then we blow off the other arm, getting York to level 8!  Now that we're in there, let's hit it with a charged attack.    And then our dog rips Thraxx's heart to shreds.   Now that's a nice amount of cash. Be able to afford a lot of ingredients with that.  I'm not sure why the giant bug (spider? Is Thraxx a spider?) explodes, but it's pretty  , so I'm not going to complain. And, even better, we get a new, stronger, weapon after the fight! Our first axe is the Spider's Claw (I guess Thraxx is a spider), and it has five points of attack over our bone, and it can cut down certain foliage. Plus, it's an axe, and that's just metal.  So let's free whatever poor bastard is locked in here.   You're welcome and alla that, but who the hell are you?  Oh. Hey, we've been looking for you!  Nobilian? I wonder if we'll ever meet someone from that place or go there ourselves.   : I'm very happy to meet you both. I was searching for alchemy ingredients when I stumbled upon that monster. If you didn't come along and save me, I would have been eaten alive! Please take this gift with my thanks. I'll never turn down free ingredients. Sure, they're common and scattered hither and yon, but free stuff is free stuff.   And that was Strong Heart. He'll be heading back to the village now.  So let's hoof it after him. No place else to go, y'know.  The Spider's Claw is a nice boost over the Femur, like I said.   Oh, neat, a couple of Crystals!  I forgot this was here, so I could have skipped buying the Vine Bracelet.  But, on that same ticket, I never found it harmful to have a little extra defense.  We're taking the cliffs back to Fire Eyes' Village.  And finding some goodies along the way.  See those plants there? We couldn't pass them before.  But, with our axe, we can now cut through them and walk past.   And we can get into another area, that doesn't have much of interest.  Zach can level his attack up, too, for a charged attack.  It's just a longer range, harder hitting, version of his regular attack, but still cool at the same.  And it hits like a son of a bitch. Much like Zach does.  Alright, back to the village. There's a side area to visit, but there's only some alchemy ingredients hidden around there, and I don't think that's interesting enough to show off.   That'll wait until next time, York. For now, let's take a break. Next time, we'll go chat with Fire Eyes and Strong Heart. Stay tuned!
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Mar 5, 2016 21:37
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Once Upon A Midnight Dreary, I Became Super Fat: Let's Play The Secret Of Evermore.
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Mar 6, 2016 02:16
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Seiren posted:Also, you missed a secret! Luckily, it isn't that far to backtrack to now that you have the Spider's Claw. Not sure how you feel about secrets you've passed-by being called out, and I'll omit this if you want, but unless otherwise noted, I'll share what I know when these things happen. As always, if I miss something, let me know. If I can't go back, talk about it as much as you can. I'm not great at this LP thing, but I don't want to appear completely incompetent.
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Mar 6, 2016 04:16
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I Missed A Formula: Acid Rain I missed it during the recording, but some people informed me that I had missed Acid Rain during the last update. Frankly, I'm not surprised, and I appreciate those who pointed it out. I'd like to say this is the last formula I'm going to miss, but we all know that isn't the case. There's a formula coming up much later that I know I'm going to miss, because you have to navigate a special path through a pain in the rear end maze. But we'll get to that when we get there. For now, let's snag Acid Rain.  It's on the path leading away from Thraxx, after you smash his oversized behind.   There's a hidden path here; it's kind of subtle, or maybe not. Either way, I walked right past it without thinking about it.  There's also another bit of Clay, a Biscuit, and some Water in these gourds.  Further to the right, we get the formula proper.   Considering what he was up to before, this probably qualifies as a hell of a big day for York. Zach doesn't seem to be that concerned.  You're not wrong. Things are getting better, though. We have an axe now.   Lava!? I don't want to go through any lava!  It's not a new spell, as Thraxx used it, but it's now in our hands!  We've found an assload of Water, yeah, but that still seems a little costly for a spell. Ash isn't hard to find, either. But a 3:1 mixture seems a little cost-heavy on the one side.  Still, it's another alchemy formula, so why not equip it?  This guy also acts as an ingredient shop.  Where I take the opportunity to stock up on Crystals and Clay. And, yes, I have 54 of each, so that is 54 castings of Hard Ball.  But before that, let's jack those two gourds.  We also snag four parts of Ash.   And I bid you adieu, Constant Reader. See you next time, for a real update.
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Mar 6, 2016 09:16
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And on the topic of Acid Rain...
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Mar 6, 2016 09:53
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Update Six: Strong Heart Loves Our Doggie Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we thrashed Thraxx, and then I had to go back for Acid Rain. Which I could have skipped as...It's Acid Rain. Eh is a good descriptor for it. Anywho, today, we're going to find out about another crisis, find out how Fire Eyes got her name, and hit up Strong Heart, so let's boogie.  I gained a level on my way back from getting Acid Rain.  And we learn that things have gotten pretty lovely. I guess the volcano provides all their heat. I'm...Is that possible?  Some more dialog around the village has changed, so let's go chat it up.  The Vipers? Who the hell are they?  I can't imagine there's much else going on to talk about. Besides the heat disappearing.  We'll get our reward in a bit. We've something else to get done first.   There's a formula available over here, past the armor shop. I think that's the only one around here, but if I missed one, just let me know.  We've gotta head into this hidden alcove thingy.  'sup, duder?  T'weren't no thing, sir.  "Granny's recipe for brick bread always knocks 'em dead!"   Well, I suppose if it were the right kind of clay, this could provide some sort of benefit.  I know one poster mentioned he was a chemist; I'm curious about how many of these formulas, so far, are viable. Simply Simon posted:I'm a chemist and I see no problem with this logic. Acid Rain seems to be good enough. Hard Ball is, too, since you're just putting a stone in some clay and winging that poo poo at someone. I suppose Flash works well enough, since the Wax looks like a candle, and assuming it's lit, mixing Oil with it would light some poo poo on fire. I'm starting to think that most of the formulas won't work out exactly, but if there is some element of truth to the composition, I'd like to hear about it.  We also find a Biscuit and four parts of Clay.  Alright, let's go visit Elizabeth.   More Ash can never hurt.   What's shakin', Miz Liz?  Well, we did kill some horrific, pants-making GBS threads monstrosity.  Coming up is one of my favorite lines.  Fire Eyes hardly gives a poo poo.  Yeah, you're welcome, by the way.  I heard. A volcano cooling down just seems...Awful. Especially when it provides the heat for your village.  What does the sun do here? Does it just provide light? The sun is a giant ball of nuclear hellfire, right?  I mean, that's terrible and all, but  York has a point. We are trying to find our way home. We didn't come here to solve the village's problems.  How the hell is that going to help?  Uh-huh...  So it's his fault we're here.  I'm not even sure what to say to this.  Who are you, fuckin' Ross?   Just a boy and his dog being abruptly dropped into the world?  Dear God, they've discovered the thermostat!  Mm, gotta love that alliteration.  ...We'll be burned alive?  How the hell does that make any sense!?  Well, York, what do you think?  ...Goddammit, I knew you would say something like that.  Alright, I'm with you so far.    I'm glad you have the self-awareness to realize that.  Once again, Fire Eyes proves that she is awesome.  And so, she gives us the alchemy formula for Cellular Communication. You take two parts Crystal and one part Root, and we can call on her at any time.   These could come in quite handy.  I'll be sure to show them off, and I might get a chance sooner than you expect.  Well, now, that's not very progressive, York.  : Let me show you why they call me "Fire Eyes."   Alright, let's see what you've---    Yes, ma'am.  There goes a truly frightening child.  What? Don't look at me like that. Free Ash!  Alright, let's go see Strong Heart. He's got something for us, too.  Two somethings, actually, and one I'll probably use more than the other.  The Spider's Claw is pretty fancy, but mostly because it's stronger than the Bone Crusher.  There's some different goodies hidden around here, but I won't show them all. They're mostly just alchemy ingredients.  Zach's attack sprite tends to scare the poo poo out of me.   Though, I should mention the axe will be outclassed soon enough.  Hey, speaking of outclassing things, we got a new helmet.  Not a ton better than our Grass Hat, but I'll take what I can get.   And this is Strong Heart's place. For being the village alchemist, he certainly lives a bit far from the place.   Hey, how's it going, Strong Heart?  No side effects from being sealed in that cocoon?  No baby Thraxx's planted inside your guts or musculature?  Or no weird bug viruses going through your veins?  He took what happened pretty calmly. Seems like he would have been a good choice for the Nostromo.  All in a day's work, bub.  Cure never sounds like a status healing spell to me. Final Fantasy does that if you play it long enough.  Hmm...Well, Roots are supposed to be good for you, depending on the Root, and if you mix it with the right Oil, you can rub it into your skin and purge the toxins. Oh, my God, Strong Heart is a goddamned New Age healer.   And he has ingredients for sale, too.   I stock up on Roots and Oil, just in case. Plus, it doesn't hurt to have a good stock of ingredients.  He can also save our game.  Real quick, let's switch over to Zach. We can choose to play as him; he's a bit lumbering, and powerful, and I don't see much reason to not play as York.  Big is kind of an understatement; I'd put Zach at around 160 or so. He's a pretty sizable creature.  "I also don't want my thighs to become your next snack."  Oooh, a treat for a good boy!  This is part of why I didn't buy the Leather Collar sooner.  Five points of defense isn't a ton, no, but hey, I won't turn it down. Alright, let's get back to the village.  Just wanted to make sure to include this as hell shot.  Let's take a sleep and pick this up later.  For those of you reading, you have a good night as well. Sleep well, dream even better, and have the best day that you can. Character Stats  
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Mar 7, 2016 07:30
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And you know what's oh-so-fun to represent in screenshots while you're trying to be interesting and engaging?
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Mar 8, 2016 13:46
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Update Seven: Sic Semper Evello Mortem Vipera Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we chatted with Fire Eyes a bit and then visited Strong Heart, who gave us a free collar for Zach. Today, we're going to take a step toward figuring out the Volcano problem, so let's boogie.   We're heading north out of the village this time.   Without the Spider's Claw, this is as far as we could have gotten.  However, armed with our axe, we can cut through the short grass like it's nothing! And kill an unfortunate mosquito at the same time.  These new flowers are called Carniflowers.  They have 30 HP, so they're easy to take down, but only drop 6 EXP and 7 Talons for doing so.   They have a special attack that we'll see in a minute; it's basically their defining feature.   There are a few gourds scattered about, too, but none of them hold anything that would kill us if we missed it.  No reason for this shot, other than showing off how fuckin' brutal Zach can be.  Thirty-four castings of Hard Ball might seem like a lot, buuuuuuut...  There's a boss coming up that I'll want this stronger for, and I'll need more than thirty-four castings to get it that powerful.  I toss my balls around plenty this update. ...I could have phrased that better.  However, I'm getting to be an expert ball-tosser.   Alright, so in this shot, you can see the flower readying to attack Zach.  And then it goddamn eats him.  Whoever it eats will be spat out after a little bit, but you can force them out sooner by smacking the plant a good one. It'll deal tick damage over time, like poison does.  This reminds me, has anyone here read The Ruins? I thought it was an alright book, and one of those that is just about perfect for a long car ride or a flight.  The movie was kind of silly, but with a premise about blood-sucking vines, how can it be anything but?  I'd say give it a shot if you'd like. I enjoyed it well enough.  Hey, 12 Talons. Neat. We'll need those to buy Clay and Crystals.   There was a Carniflower here. It's gone now.  And a mosquito who got his poo poo wrecked by a Hard Ball.  Nectar, if you forgot, restores 120 HP to whoever it's used on.  Getting shots for this game has been kind of a challenge. In the other games I've done, turn-based RPGs, it was easy enough to show new enemies when they came and to ignore battles otherwise. Here, enemies are pretty liberally placed, so it's not often I'm going to have a shot without them around or me trying to kill them before they kill me. It's kind of a shift from what I usually do, and it's throwing me off a little bit.   I'm not sure why some people choose to live outside of the village; I'm not seeing any real benefit here.  Then again, having two armor shops in the same tiny village might not be good for business. 'course, living past the more dangerous monsters probably isn't, either, so I'm just going to quit thinking about it.  If we had somehow missed the Mammoth Guard or the Shell Hat, we could buy them here. As it stands, the Shell Plate is the only new bit of equipment.  A small defensive boost, but not one that I'm going to turn down.  We also snag a total of four parts Wax here, so all in all, this trip was worth it.  And since I'd nearly forgotten, after robbing him, I sell my old stuff back to him.   Now that is a conspicuous rock.  And one that we can't do anything with. It'll come later, though, so for now, let's bounce.   I'm not sure how many mosquitoes I've balled this time around, but it's been quite a few. Phrasing, Leave, phrasing!  I can't help but like the bloodsplosion here. It really helps emphasize how much of a non-threat the mosquitoes are.  Welcome to the Mammoth Graveyard.  Hey, what's that little guy?  Besides a spider the size of most terriers.   Meet the Widowmaker; 40 HP, and worth 40 EXP, to boot. They also drop 12 Talons, and their attacks have a 25% chance of inflicting poison.  This is just a display of how hosed this one is.  I'm not sure if Zach or the Hard Ball killed it, but it is definitely very dead.  As is this one.  The little bastards are crawling all over the place, too.  Not for very long, no, but they are still plentiful.  When not getting his murder on, Zach will sniff out ingredients. I've mentioned this before, I think, but in case I haven't, Zach will help us find ingredients in the wild.   Hard Ball is getting pretty useful; it won't one-shot these guys, but it's definitely doing a good chunk of damage. I've mostly been using it to finish these guys off, which is why my axe hasn't hit Level 2.  Zach didn't get the kill here, despite his best effort. Hard Ball exploded the Widowmaker before he had the chance.  And when they hit, they fuckin' hit. Poison doesn't come up often, and it's not very dangerous; both are good things, in my book.  This is Cure in action; it heals status ailments. As far as I can tell, it will heal all ailments even at Level 1, so I see no reason to work at leveling it up.  Alright, let's get to the big fight of this update.   Well now, who's this happy rear end in a top hat?  Look, you can speak and identify ownership, as well as having some sort of society. Can't you put up a sign somewhere?  Yeah, I'm just terrified.   And he rolls off again. Guess he didn't want any of this.  Well, alright, pink dinosaur guys. Let's get it on. These are the Vipers. They've been mentioned before.  Now, there are four of them, and two of us. Those odds are stacked a bit in their favor, so I start the evening by switching to Zach.  And yes, I got my rear end kicked. Don't worry, it's part of the plan.  Now, as Zach, we can bring up York's menu and have him use alchemy or whatever, much like you could in the Mana games.  Now, you'll notice I went from twenty-one castings of Hard Ball down to eighteen. You can also see the casting animation going on, frozen by the ring menu.  And multiple Hard Balls flying at one poor Viper bastard.  It blasted his rear end across the map; in the lower right corner, you can see that I did 150 damage to him. They have 125 at maximum, and we'll get 80 EXP and 50 Talons for each of them.    Multiple targets, tons of Hard Balls for everybody!  The multi-cast glitch is really handy for laying down a ton of damage real quick-like. You can do it while controlling York, apparently, but I get the best success out of doing it while controlling Zach.  If I do it right, I've gotten eight Hard Balls out at once.  Really, this fight isn't too difficult. There are a bunch of enemies around, and they are quite hardy, while dealing good chunks of damage. Alchemy is definitely recommended here, but as long as you're keeping an eye on your health and taking it one target at a time, you should make it through it pretty well.   Zach's charged attack, like most of his attacks, hits like a mad bastard. Two of these would take out a Viper quite easily, but the hardest part is actually hitting one with it. They're fairly quick, despite how they look. They like to roll out of range and punish you with a tongue-whip.  I took a little over six minutes of video for this update, and I used nearly twenty castings of Hard Ball.   Alrighty, so here's the Viper Commander, our final enemy for this boss fight. He has 250 HP to deplete, so let's get to it.  And, once again, Hard Ball multi-cast is the order of the day.  The Commander has no earthly clue of what is about to wreck his poo poo.    And Hard Ball leveled up!  This is just a single tossing of Hard Ball.    And we get a new weapon!  It's our third type of weapon, the Spear. It's a little stronger than the Spider's Claw, clocking in at 20 Attack, which is twice that of the Bone Crusher. It's also going to be our main weapon until we get something stronger.   Not a problem, man. Really, it was my pleasure, due to making Hard Ball stronger. Hard Ball is pretty much the weakest offensive formula in the game, but as someone in the thread mentioned, it's also extremely cheap for what you get. It's quite easy to keep the necessary ingredients around, but when we get a better offensive formula, you probably won't see Hard Ball much after that.  Well, that's not right. I found some Ash around here, and a bit of Clay.   : Yes--lizard people from the great volcano. They've been coming out in force lately, raiding the graveyard for mammoth parts.: When we get to the core of the volcano, we'll stop them before they do more harm. : Why are you going there? It's very dangerous! : Well, Fire Eyes told us about the volcano cooling and... Despite being the same sprite, this isn't Strong Heart. I'm not sure why one of the few named people doesn't have a unique sprite, but whatever, I'm not the developer.  And just mentioning Fire Eyes' name means that we're upstanding, trustworthy fellows. Uh, fellow. And dog.  ...Top of the volcano? We've gotta go in through the top?! Jesus Christ, lava comes out of there!  Can we get a Freeze Ray and a parachute, too? Entering a volcano through the top seems a little...What's the phrase I want to use here... Dick-explodingly terrifying. That's the phrase I want.  Entering a volcano through the top seems dick-explodingly terrifying.  Hell yes you should. I'll never turn down a free heal.  Compared to when we started, we've gained a good bit of health. Zach a little more than York, but Zach is definitely the beefier of the two.  This is one of the few healing alchemy spells we're going to get, and for a long time, the only one we'll have.  Considering that, it's cheap as hell to use. Water and Roots are every-goddamned-where, including in the field and for sale, so there's no reason not to have the stuff around for it.  It levels up pretty well, too, and if we're using it as needed, we're going to be recovering HP on a level better than the healing items. At level 0, which alchemy spells start at, Heal will recover 20 to 38 HP. Or so the Secret of Evermore Wiki tells me, and I'm going to trust those nerds.  But that caps things off for this update. Next time, we'll head through the gate and see about getting into that volcano. Stay tuned!
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Mar 10, 2016 08:32
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Explosionface posted:And of course, the power of Cure forever: I like how Zach wanders up, decides that poo poo's boring, and just fucks off. I love our doggy.
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Mar 11, 2016 07:47
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Update Eight: A Very Little Bit Of Progress Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we beat up some Vipers and got a Horn Spear, and--Wait, is that all we really did? poo poo, that's not a whole lot. And we're not doing a ton this update, either. But, stick with it, we'll be getting to more interesting things very soon.   You can see a new enemy on this screen. It's a different type of Raptor.  They're quick, speedy bastards, as you'd expect a raptor to be.  Man, what I would do for a bazooka right now. Blow this jerks right off the map.  They've also got some decent power behind their attacks.  And with 50 HP, they've a little staying power, too. They're nothing too insanely dangerous, but they can be a little intimidating at first.  And that 67 damage over there? Yeah, that was Zach. He wasn't taking any of their poo poo, but we will take their 24 EXP and 48 Talons.  And neither are we, considering we're slamming a spear into this one's noggin.  I'm not sure that's how you're supposed to use a spear, but who am I to question it? I've never done any spear-fighting.  Around here, there are a few different caves scattered about.  But we snag a bit of Clay first.  In this cave, there's no danger, so it's a bit of a breather, if you need it.  Heal and Cure have the same animation, so no .gif for this one.  We've got some leveling to do with Heal, since 22 HP restored isn't exactly all that much. Petals currently heal more, but we'll blow past those soon enough.   I still have not bought any Pixie Dust. I should, at some point, but we'll get there when we get there. I've mostly not bought any since it's kind of expensive, and I'd rather drop that moolah on alchemy ingredients.  Alright, let's scoot and skedaddle. I didn't buy anything, but this place is worth noting.    This little ladder over here is a quicker route up here.  This flower is in the way, but that's a minor obstacle at best.  And there's another cave over here.  Yeah, I'm counting these flowers as non-threats already. Zach can easily one-shot them. At some points, it made leveling the Spear kind of difficult, since he was killing them before I could get close enough to even try. Thankfully, you can make him sniff around for ingredients and ignore combat.   There's another part of Water in the other gourd.   I'm not sure if you really need an inn out here, especially one that's three times the cost of the one in the village. But, hey, if you need it, it's here.  We can save here, too, but we've seen that dialog enough.   We get back to working our way up the path.    I'm still not sure that's how you use a spear, but it works for killin' dinosaurs. And can you really ask more than that?   Huh. What's a Raptor doing in this cave?  ...And we're trapped.  There are three of them in here, even you can only really see two. Yeah, I'm hitting two at the same time here.   And Zach kills them so hard, the rock blocking the exit fuckin' explodes. Our dog is the poo poo.  Several of you were wincing when I bought that armor last update. You had good reason to do so; we didn't particularly need that item, but, hey, I guess that's part of completionism. Or something.  Yeah, this is much better than our previous armor. And it's as good as our previous armor and the armor before it. Dino Skin is pretty snazzy.  Back to...Whatever it is we're doing.  Movin' on up, Heal has also moved on up. It'll heal 41-78 HP now, which, hey, works for me.  These numbers are from a chained Heal. Heal leveled up during it, and when a spell levels during chain-casting, the spells cast after the level will be at the new level. For instance, if I chained six Hard Balls, and it leveled up after the fourth casting, the final two castings would be at the new level.  This shot is included because I think it's metal as poo poo.  Coming over here, there's this patch of grass we need to clear out.  Which lets us step on this geyser and get catapulted upward.  As opposed to being catapulted downward. Sometimes I think I'm a little patronizing when I say things like that.  Zach is not diggin' this poo poo.   There are a few treasures scattered about here, and some enemies.  Thankfully, none of them can travel between the different elevation levels here, though that would have been kind of cool if the Widowmakers could have, since they're spiders. Or to see a Raptor leaping off a cliff, ready to rain razor-sharp fury upon our heroes, only for our faithful, determined, destructive dog to catch it in mid-air, tearing it down before it can even touch the ground.  Well, whatever. It is a SNES game, and I can imagine something like that might be a touch complicated to get done. Or would look goofy as poo poo.  There are a series of caves scattered about, too.  They're a series of tunnels that will spit you out of one of these holes; sometimes, it jerks all your progress away, and sometimes it lets you progress further, by getting you to the proper geyser.  And back up we go.  This is one of those things that I'm never sure how to cover in screenshots.  I mean, it's popping in and out of holes. How the hell am I supposed to make that interesting?  There's only so many variations of, "I went in this hole and came out here" that I can do.  That gourd over there? You see it, right?  Yeah, keep that way in the back of your mind. It will not be relevant for...Oh, a very long time.  Instead, I'll pull a Petal out of a spider's splattered innards.  Blasting that Widowmaker with a Hard Ball gains Zach a level, which is worthy of a . I was going for that gourd on the left and accidentally stepped on this geyser.  It puts us directly above it. We probably could have climbed up here, honestly.  Oh, well. Working my way back up leads to something kind of fun.  Our spear gains its first level!  I burn a Petal and take this one. It works out, because I could have used a little top-up.    Coming up here, we get some Water.  And an expressway back to the bottom, where I can show off the Horn Spear's level 1 charge attack.  It's a little sloppy, but I think it gets the point across well enough.  From here, we step on the geyser that was uncovered when we arrived.   Which brings us back to this level, where we pop into the cave.  Which takes us to the geyser we need to get where we were going. Namely, the top of the volcano.    Hey, cool--  ...This may have gone poorly.  Oh, thank goodness.  Zach, you good, buddy? I know you don't like all this air travel.  Ah, this ties into the legend of an ancient moonshiner. Let me see if I can remember how it goes... "Atop that mountain, a four-armed nine-foot blind man, who also has the tongue of a dragon, makes the strongest whiskey on Earth. They say that if you're crazy, it makes you sane. And if you're sane, you'll never believe a word of this story."  But we're here, and this man only has two arms.  And he appears to see us quite well. Perhaps...Perhaps the legend was wrong.  Or this isn't the right man.  That sounds like a horrible way to enter a volcano. Just awful.  I'm not sure that this sounds much better.  But I suppose it'll keep us from being immediately broasted upon entry.  What, are we going to fly above the rock? Get the hell outta here.  ...Oh, yeah, I suppose that is a better solution. Levitate is a non-combat spell, too; there are a couple of alchemy spells that only serve to solve puzzles and to help us progress forward.  And somehow, a chili pepper and a drop of water will let us do that. I've been trying to make some sense out of these formulas, but I've got loving nothing for this one.  Mud Pepper? Where the hell are those?  ...gently caress. gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress. The swamp itself isn't too bad. It's a goddamned swamp, and I dislike it intensely all the same, but the goddamned boss at the end of it... Ugh.  It'll come next update, though. I'm not going to go full-cheese on this boss; instead, we'll go for Kraft Singles and only slight cheese.  Ash, Clay, Wax and Water are what he sells here, and he has pretty good prices on most of his stuff.  And he's also a save point, so we save up here.  And I pass this message along to you. We're going to stop here, because next time, we're going to go through the Swamp and fight a hugely annoying boss. Stay tuned!
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Mar 14, 2016 06:31
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Ah, yes, that item... But all in good time.
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Mar 15, 2016 00:57
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Thank you very much.
Leave fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Mar 15, 2016 |
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Mar 15, 2016 03:14
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Update Nine: Salabog? More Like Salapunk Welcome back, everyone! Last time, we made our way to the top of a volcano, and learned the formula of Levitate, so that we could enter the volcano through the catacombs beneath. However, one of the ingredients we need for the formula is quite rare, so we have to brave the swamp to find a Mud Pepper. With that said, let's boogie.  They're to the east of where we were. We could have wandered over this way as soon as we came around here, but there isn't much point to doing so.   And we get a very friendly reception upon entering the swamp.  Zach gives it back in kind.  Over on the left is a new enemy, the Frippo. They--  More on that in a second. A plant just ate my dog.  There we go.  Anywho, the Frippo is a pretty common enemy in the Swamp.  They have 40 HP, and drop 12 EXP and 19 Talons, which...Sucks. That's a terrible reward. If you've forgotten, the Widowmaker gives 40 EXP.  Bloodsplosions are the end of them, and they also have the fun property of your partner's hit-rate being lowered against them.   There's Water all over the swamp. Surprising, I know, but hold your gasps until the end.   And I have no idea if I was just looking in the wrong spots, but Zach didn't sniff out anything and I couldn't find poo poo around here.  In short, gently caress this screen.   This is one of the best ways to take out the Frippos. Or any enemy around here, really. These guys might be weird looking little froggie things, but they have higher attack power than Thraxx's arms did. Really, only the Vipers, the Viper Commander, the Raptor, and the next couple of bosses have higher attack. It's...Kind of weird.  Attacking them from the side like this is a pretty good way to get your rear end beat. They're quick little shits, but if you attack them from above or below, you have far less chance of being whacked by them.  These lily pads act as sort-of bridges around here.  There are other, regular, bridges around here, too.  I'm trying to get the Horn Spear to level 3, and when you can just wing it across the map, it's pretty easy to do.     I should be saying something here, but I'm not sure what.   Hey, that one dropped something!  ...I'm not sure 20 Talons was worth digging through a pile of Frippo guts. I'm going to go wash my hands, for York.     Alright, what'd I miss?  Frippos also have decent magic defense, but my Hard Ball is leveled enough that it should reliably one-shot them.  Even if only barely.   ...I wonder if I'll ever use Flash again. Before writing this caption, I had to take a moment to wonder what I use Wax for. There's a formula later on that it'll be in, and I'll probably use the poo poo out of that formula, but until then, I'll just continue building Wax supplies.    Alright, see that Frippo up there? It's on the bridge above us.   I'm not sure why, but the spear throw doesn't seem to give a poo poo about elevation.  I'd reckon it has something to do with the spear being thrown, and it has to be able to traverse height and terrain to do so.  I'm sure someone reading the thread can explain it better, and if they can, I'll be sure to edit it into the update.    Occasionally, upon killing a Frippo, a new lily pad path will appear in the water.   This lets us cut back across to here and up the wooden bridge we saw earlier.  But, first, let's ruin that Widowmaker's day.     I'm beginning to sense a theme in this update.  For a better showing of what I was talking about earlier with the spear giving little-to-no shits about elevation, look at this sequence.   Never mind that this attack missed, but it still shows my point very well.   I think I feel guilty about what I did to that mosquito. I mean, I did do 121 times its max health in damage, with a single attack.  This area isn't too visually interesting, but I hope you've clicked the Tindeck link. That does wonders for this place.   Little bastards hit like sons of bitches, don't they?  I go back to clear some space so I can charge the spear, and find this Widowmaker below us.  And we throw a spear right into its face. I don't know why it works, but I'll be damned if I don't like the effect.  As for this little assclown, our revenge comes swiftly.    Hey, free Nectar!  Though, considering how nicely Heal levels up, I might not ever use this.  Heal immobilizes you during casting, but it also makes you invincible. As would using Nectar, but Heal will continue to grow stronger, while Nectar will remain static.   Something kind of neat regarding the Frippos that create new lily pad paths is that as long as you kill the required Frippo, the path will appear, no matter where it is on the map. I'm sure that's a "no poo poo" kind of statement, now that I've written it out.   That's only slightly north of where that Frippo was, but I still think it's cool.  And now here's a shot of Zach teabagging a Widowmaker.  How close is our Horn Spear to level 3, you may be wondering.  Quite close, actually. Nine more enemies would do it.    Since this swamp is boring looking and I'm not crazy about it, I'm not going to cover every last gourd and path.   So let's go fight the boss. Boss fight video! Click a duck to watch it!  Well now, what in the hell is that?  And those. What are those?  I'm not sure what this is, but I don't like it. No, sir. Don't like it.  Hey, bud, you've got a real bad infestation of something around your hut.  Do I look like the protagonist of a SyFy original movie? What makes you think I'm qualified to handle this sort of thing?  Then again, a Marty McFly ripoff that loves B-movies and fights overgrown bugs...Hell, I bet that script is in the works. And if it isn't, I'm pretty sure I've just found a career as a script-writer.   Meet Salabog. He's what you could call a "roadblock boss," in the sense that a lot of new people probably get stuck on him their first time through.  For one thing, he has 2,000 HP. Which is just a stupid-high amount for a boss at this stage of the game.  He also is the type of boss that disappears, only to reappear elsewhere in the arena. Thankfully, there's only these areas on the left and right, as well as the one in the center that he'll pop to, so he's not constantly teleporting around, making it difficult to hit him.  He also has little cronies that he can summon; meet the Will o' the Wisp.  They have 40 HP, and drop 4 EXP and Talons. Unlike the Maggots with Thraxx, these guys don't have anything they can drop. At least in that fight, they could potentially give you a Petal or a level if you needed one desperately, but here? These guys are here only to annoy the poo poo out of you.  They don't hit hard enough to be a true threat, but combined with the damage that Salabog can dish out, they can quickly become more than just a nuisance.  They also explode when you kill them.  Considering the amount of health that Salabog has, we need to even the odds.  Eight Hard Balls is a good start for that.   Seven hit at once, with the eight doing its own thing. Even so, that's still 449 damage, and out of 2,000, that's not an insignificant number.  In case you were wondering where the Wisps came from, Salabog barfs them out.  Alright, so, look at this shot. Salabog is coming in to bite your rear end off. This is important because, if you don't have the Horn Spear at level 1, or don't have any offensive alchemy equipped, this is your only chance to hit him. He also has the property that lowers your partner's hit rate. Salabog also has very high attack.  Yeah, he can do a quarter of your health in a single attack. It's not hard to see why Salabog can be such a bastard if you're either unprepared or don't know what you're doing.  However, this is a very sort of message. We've gotta charge it up two bars now, but, hey, it's a very powerful attack, and works quite well in this fight.   And one of the best things about the Horn Spear's level 3 charge attack is that it will pierce enemies.   I can't tell you how many you can take out with the same throw, but I've seen three Wisps and Salabog be hit by it before.  As for the climatic finish...   An entire 2 damage finishes off the Salabog. Oh, yeah, and Salabog goddamned explodes upon death.   Bask in your glory, York. You've earned it.  What movie are you going to reference, York? Beavers Gone Ballistic? Yaks Of The Yucca Flats? Outrageous Ostriches of the Outback?  Eh, that works too, I guess.  I don't know if I'd be relieved if I saw a huge snake explode outside of my home. Then again, I s'pose that's better than the corpse just laying around.   : Thanks to you, it's sunk for sure! Good job! : Uh, no problem. : You can call me 'Blimp.' I work with Swamp Gas and Fume Bugs.: Oh! That explains the stench! I wonder, if working in a slaughterhouse, you get the same effect. I know working in fast food long enough will do that to you. To the point where you don't realize how much you smell like stale grease and old french fries at the end of the day.  I'm so glad I don't have to do that anymore. I did my tour of duty there.  I wonder how sweet the gig for the interior decorator of these huts were. Seriously, just throw the same poo poo in there, and they're all happy with it.  : Well, if you like mud walls and leaf floors, it's pretty nice. : I don't have much to offer in the way of thanks for saving my hut...but I would like for you to have...  I'd still take it, though.  Eh, probably not. Maybe later.   Well, hang on now; how much courage do we get if we eat that? How much tasty, tasty courage?  I just noticed the fish's eyes changing and now I'm freaking out.  OOH OOH THAT ONE I NEED THAT ONE   Ah, Blimp, you wonderful bastard.  Which we do.  We'll definitely be back, yes.  Sure. Let's snooze for a while.  I like that the fire pit glows during the night time. It's such a neat little detail.   And here's another save point for us. There's a fair few scattered about, innit there?  And the same to you! Alrighty, folks, stay tuned for the next episode! We'll be braving the depths of the volcano catacombs! Character Stats  
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Mar 16, 2016 07:58
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But we're doing
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Mar 17, 2016 13:38
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Update Ten: It's Getting Hott In Hurr, So Throw Off All Your Spells Hey there, everybody! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we traversed the spooky swamp, defeated the serpent Salabog, and became the saviors of Blimp, who gave us a Mud Pepper as our prize. Today, we're going to enter the volcano and see if we can figure out how to start cooling things down, so let's boogie.   Levitate will get us in here, and thankfully, there's no other rocks to levitate before this one. It'd be a pain jogging back to Blimp for a new one each time.  Hey, look, we're--Zach, what are you doing?  Oh, whatever. He's a dog. I won't even try and figure it out.   So, I get the rib cage is supposed to lend atmosphere or whatever, but I'm curious, where's the rest of the skeleton?  I s'pose the Vipers could have taken it to do whatever, since we've seen them with some level of intelligence, but I'd think they would take the sharp lookin' ribs.  Or maybe I'm thinking too much about set decoration in a video game when I should be mentioning I'm throwing a Hard Ball at that Viper.  And that one, too. Hard Ball is one of our weaker offensive formulas, but it's served me pretty well so far. It also helps that it's nearly level 5.  Flash is more powerful, yeah, but it costs just a little more than Hard Ball, having a 2:1 formula, while Hard Ball is 1:1. That gives me basically double the castings.  Oooh, hot bubblin' lava!   In addition to Vipers and another stone we'll need to Levitate.  A little while ago, the Vipers were intimidating, but with our extra levels and charged attacks, they're no more fearsome than a Frippo or Widowmaker.  There's also a bunch of gourds scattered about this area.  As well as Vipers. They're seriously everywhere and are our basic enemy for the next little bit.    So, two gourds over there, but it looks like the path is blocked off.  But that's just perspective. If you were wandering around, you'd see it was open, but if you were rushing through, you might not have noticed.   For all of our extra Mud Pepper needs, we can find them in this dungeon, thankfully.  And we can now loop around, grab those two gourds, and continue on.  We find some Water in the other gourd.   This dungeon can be summed up as; move forward, find obstacle, find Mud Pepper, remove obstacle, move forward, rinse and repeat as needed.  That seems a little annoying, sure, but all in all, it isn't too bad.  Plus, if you need some EXP, Vipers give 80 a piece.   Yeah, chain-castings are still going on. I love this poo poo.  Zach didn't feel that one Viper was getting murdered enough, so he threw in his two cents.  Wouldn't these be a pile of Ash?  Oh, hell, this close to lava, York and Zach would be piles of Ash. Though, I do think finding Water here is odd, beyond being pedantic about lava being around and actively bubbling.  This rock is different than the others.  Instead of needing to Levitate it, we just smack it where we need it to go.   Where it forms a new path!  We can't get where we need to just yet, though.    Up around here, we find another rock to knock off.  Which leads us to another Mud Pepper!   Our victory is short-lived, however, since we're immediately blocked again.   Petals have lost their usefulness now that we've gotten Heal, but they're still good for a top-off here and there.  At this point, I decide to give something a shot. From this screen, we can set our companion's AI to be more aggressive or meek, but we can also change up how high they charge their attack. Zach will be charging up to the first level now.  It doesn't change his attack animation, but it does drastically improve his damage.  As that's not a number to be messing around with.  We find another rock and then bloob it into the lava for another path.    Finding the next Mud Pepper we need is a little more involved process than just finding the right gourd.  Before I forget to mention it, and some folks in the thread have, being able to charge the Spear to level 3 has granted us infinite sprint.  When we start sprinting at 100%, it drops to about 50% and we can only sprint with that. When charged to the first level, we can dash around with 100% bar. Charging to the next level, however, we get dropped to a full bar, but it'll keep charging as long as we hold down the B button.  We can also sprint around by tapping the A button, giving us short bursts of speed; as long as we keep tapping it, we'll look goofy as gently caress, but we'll also move at full speed.   There's another hidden formula coming up, by the by.   It's actually pretty easy to find, but be sure to find it.   Much like Acid Rain, it's a hidden path that's only hidden because of the perspective.  And there's one staring at us right now oh God   I just imagined this line sounded so patronizing.  The formula he gives us can be pretty handy.  Agility refers to dodge and hit rates.  I'm not sure how this is supposed to work, but maybe I'm thinking too much about it.  We can change our formulas here, as well as save our game.  We also snag 5 parts of Water.  So, here are our base evade and hit rates.  And the goofy-rear end animation for Speed.   In addition to a sickly green glow that I don't like the look of in screenshots, York also gained 18% to hit and evade. We can target York and Zach at the same time, too. I'm not sure if this is a static boost or not, but the Evermore wiki tells me it isn't.  Lots of Water around here.  Continuing on, we need to find another Mud Pepper.   Moving on, I have a better idea for Zach's attacks.  At this point, he's basically locked into dog form.  Being AI controlled, he can charge up while we're talking to someone, walking around (much like we can), during a cutscene, and while he's sprinting.   Alright, let's scoot.   Speed doesn't last a very long time, but it's enough to get you through a few fights without having to reapply it.   We detour north into this room, to find this Wax and 3 parts Ash.   Vipers are basically a non-threat at this point. Zach can one-shot them, and two casts of Hard Ball will blow them back to the...Well, not the Stone Age, but something before that.    Speed doesn't look too bad while playing, since the glow is coming and going. It looks pretty bad in still images, though.   We blast that Viper into a pile of bones and pull $20 off his corpse. Nice. Just north of here is another Viper Commander, but I've got a plan for his rear end.  Eight Hard Balls and two Acid Rains. Suck it down, jerkface.  And there's our next Mud Pepper!  Let's get back to where we need to be.     Well, now, this is curious.  As is that.  Now, where is he getting off to?  We'll figure that out next time, however. Stay tuned!
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Mar 18, 2016 19:49
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Speed is a formula I don't know if I'll use a ton. It's a fine spell, but I really hate how it looks in screenshots.
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Mar 20, 2016 00:44
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Update Eleven: A Series Of Chutes--TO HELL Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we plunged our way into the volcano's depths through the catacombs at the base. Today, we're going to finish off the volcano, so let's boogie.   Alright, so the purple Raptor went this way. Let's track him down!  These being running streams of water, if we move with them, we'll move fast as hell. If we move against them, we'll go super slow, as is the norm for video game.   Mosquitoes hang around here, but they're as much a threat as they ever were (i.e., no threat at friggin' all).   Ah, crap.    That's right, everyone; it's one of those dungeons.   And if we're caught in a stream, it's very hard to hit stuff. But, that mosquito is now enjoying life and will go home and tell his mosquito wife how much he loves her.  We're spat out over here, so let's go check that out.    See that one with the light? That's the special one. We need to get there.  We'll have to wing around a bit to find the right path, but knowing our goal makes this a little better.  It's when these dungeons don't have a clearly defined spot to reach is when they're really terrible.   Or when there are far too many paths and winding corridors and this path leads off to that path, and there are three or four turns to it.  This is not where we want to be dumped.  Thankfully, we can sprint back up at a reasonable enough speed, and with the sprint glitch, it's not too much trouble.     This was the wrong path to take as well, but if you'll notice, York is blocking the attack from that mosquito. While that's happening, I can't run back through the stream.  And so, we're dumped down the wrong drain.  But, try, try again.  If you get to dashing around and aren't careful, you'll zip right into a drain and have to restart.   Zach continues to get his murder on, as he is wont to do.  And what murder it is!   Huzzah, this is where we want to go!   Hey, cool, let's step on the swtich. And then take care of that Viper.  Now we have to get around to there, but that's all easy-peasy lemon-squeezy.  As for this guy...  Hey, lookit that, he's not hostile.  Probably best that he piped up about that.  However, it seems that Vipers were once a peaceful race and only just recently became massive dicks.  But they did not start this revolution on their own. And I just noticed that typo.  Alright, so, in addition to the Vipers trying to kill Fire Eyes' village by cooling down the volcano, we've learned that they've been directed to do so. Which means we probably have to track down whoever started this poo poo.  And we can save our game here. I like this Viper.   And now, off to where we need to go!  And York looks like he thinks he's going to die.  As does Zach.  What's behind Door #2?  Pipes!? Those monstrous bastards!   Hey, Fire Eyes. You lost your specs.  ...That's not my name.    ...How curious. Fire Eyes has an evil twin, but how can I tell them apart?!  : Hi Sis! Hot enough for ya?: Who...Who are you?: Who do you think? I'm your evil twin! And I'm here to take over! As hot as it may be in the volcano, the temperature is dropping outside...'cause I'm cutting it off at the source! Well, this has taken an odd turn. It seems our dear Elizabeth wasn't the only one who has been transported to Evermore, but who is this other girl?  : Then my Vipers and I can take control over your world. As much as I'd like to chat, Sister, I've got work to do. So if you'll forgive me, I'm going to make you go away now! That escalated quickly.  Oh, c'mon, I was just starting to think you were cool. This video also covers the dialog before the boss fight! ...What the hell--  --I see. This is Magmar.  He's got a lot of fire-based attacks, which makes sense, since he's some sort of lava golem thingy.  Also, Hard Ball hits him right in the dick.   Oddly enough, he only has half the HP of Salabog, sitting at a low 1,000. So, uh, yeah, he's a third dead now.   I'm not sure if Speed really helped, since I'm not sure of any of Magmar's attacks missed after this.  Magmar, being a bigass, gently caress you rock/magma monster, hits like you'd expect that to.  Yeah, I pretty much forgot I had these to show off.  There are four spells we could have Fire Eyes pop out to do; Flare, which throws fire balls at the enemy; Life Spark restores health, as a name like that would indicate; Heat Wave roasts all enemies on screen; finally, Storm blasts the enemy with a small electrical storm.  It seemed silly to hit this guy with the fire based stuff, even though there's no element system, so I went with the option. Pretty much at the same time as he used Heat Wave, so I get to show this off now, too.  He takes some damage while our screen waves around with heat distortion.  And after performing the attack, he jumps back into the lava.  We take a bit of damage, while he heals some health, but only around 100.  And eventually, he'll come back out.     Like most boss fights, as long as you keep dealing damage and keep your health high, you'll be perfectly fine.   And Zach proves himself as awesome as he looks by destroying a rock monster by biting it.  ...That doesn't look good.  : You want heat? I'll give you heat!  I'm not sure what that machine is, but it's the one taking the heat. I think. I'm pretty sure.  I'd like to think that if I ever learned to teleport, I'd figure out how to do it by exploding.  I'm never sure if I should make .gifs of this sort of thing. The "shake your monitor" joke is definitely played out, but I'm wondering if I could give someone motion sickness with a .gif like that.    And then the machine explodes.  Hey, look, it's Fire Eyes' village!  Hey, look, it's the Bugmuck!  Hey, look, it's our quickly approaching death!   Thank goodness this...Turtle shell? What the hell did we land in?  I'm thinking turtle shell. Upside down turtle shell.  Whatever it is, I'm glad it was there.   ...Well, this just keeps getting worse and worse.  Seriously, it's probably been two hours since York and Zach dropped into Evermore.  I mean, I'm ready to give up on life when I stub my pinky toe.  Having to deal with this poo poo? Naw, dog, I'm out.   I'm not sure if I ever noticed the reflection before. Neat!    Where the hell are we? Is Zach dead? York isn't, since we can see his health bar, but will that do us any good? What happened to Fire Eyes? Or her village? All these questions, and more, aren't answered next update, but stay tuned anyways!
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Mar 20, 2016 08:22
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FredMSloniker posted:Leavemywife added the stache in post. I was afraid it was too small to be noticed. I'm so happy someone noticed!
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Mar 20, 2016 19:23
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And Hard Ball has a better description.
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Mar 20, 2016 19:59
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Update Twelve: Welcome To Crustacia, Where The Punches Are Made Up And The Rogues Don't Matter Welcome back, everyone! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we discovered Fire Eyes had an evil twin, who owned a pet rock, and then we beat up said pet. We were then blown out of the volcano and landed in a new place, so let's boogie down and explore.  The funny thing is, that film only featured schooners and they sailed on a lake.  And "Dandy" Don drowned after filming the final scene, so they released the film as a tribute to his memory.  Hey, that's right. Where's our dog?  Well, he's a tough son of a bitch. I'm sure he's fine.  But, he could be close.  Perhaps even in this shipwreck.  This looks like his rough and tumble style, but there's no sign of any wolf-like creatures.  Treasure, you say? I fully support finding these treasures.  ...Couldn't I just keep the treasure itself and still be filthy rich? And Nobilia? Where the hell is that?  If you steal my plan, I will hunt you down, hit you with a brick, and tie your shoelaces together.  Was there ever a point in history where calling the strongest guy around Tiny wasn't tired and played out?  Aww, he has no friends. Like a weightlifting goon or something.  But, steady employment! That's good!   ...Crustacia? Reminds me of a joke about the difference between a lobster with boobs and a dirty bus station. One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.  A guy at work told me that joke the other day. He also told me he's quitting, and I'm eagerly awaiting the day.  Uh, my bad.  Ah, if only all of our priorities were so well in line.    It's still a bright and sunny day, pal. Quit bein' a wuss and go.  I'm looking for my dog. Any treasure I find along the way is purely a bonus.   Yeah, I'm outta here. I don't need that kind of sass. Also, pots are the new gourds. That one in there contained some Clay.  We heard a lot about the west bank over there. Seems like a solid place to start our search for Zach.  And to meet some new enemies!  Sand Spiders and Rogues are two of the new guys we'll be meeting around here.  Rogues are buckets of health, with 200 a piece. They also drop 100 EXP a piece and 10 Jewels, since Talons are no longer the accepted currency.  The Sand Spider has 74 HP, with 72 EXP and 18 Jewels for a drop.  These two also have pretty good magic defense, so Hard Ball isn't quite as useful as it once was. It's still nice for some quick, long-range damage, but our Horn Spear can do that, too.  And there are still blood pops.  While the Rogue just goddamn explodes. There's no doubt about if York killed a man here.  Well, can't get past that. But, I'm sure we'll be back later.  And that leads out over the water, but with no way to cross. The bridge is also broken halfway across, so we're not going to get over to the west bank proper for a little while yet.   But, maybe we just didn't go high enough to find Zach. He's a dog and they get into all sorts of shenanigans.   Not quite sure why some of the Rouges are so desperate to tear our heads off while others just want to chat, but I'm cool with it.   His items are all stuff we've seen before (Nectar, Biscuits, Pixie Dust), but the Change Money option is new.  There are a couple of other areas we'll be visiting and each has their own currency. As I said above, Jewels are what we use in this area.  Man, we had a lot of Talons. And now we've a lot of Jewels!  Nabbing this reminds me, I should be leveling up Heal. Before long, it'll be stronger than the Nectar.   Thank you, Russel.  As long as it's not the ghost dad, I'm perfectly okay with that.  So, uh, yeah, this ship got the hell wrecked out of it.  Right you are, sir!    We drop the 1,400 Jewels to kit ourselves out in the new gear, which will come in handy.    Because they are definitely hefty upgrades over our previous stuff. Holy smokes.   We jack his Water and move on.   Yeah, you guys are alright. I like the cut of your jib.  If they're anything like the Rogues I already met, I'm not worried about that.   OH MY GOD SHUT UP ABOUT THE TREASURE  AND gently caress OFF I'M FINDING IT TO SPITE ALL OF YOUR HALF-DRESSED ASSES   Yarr, I'll be declining this request, ye scurvy dog.  Twenty Jewels will get you fully topped off, though.  His other pot contains more Water, which I won't turn down.   It's never until you're taking screenshots of what people say that you realize how much they say the same poo poo.  I get the message, game, but it'll be a while before we can get over there. Out of protest, I head into the nearest cave.    For that silly poo poo, I'm taking your Clay and Nectar. I hope a badger eats your man-thong.   This elevator takes us down to the bottom; it'll stay down there, too, so if we need a quick ride back up, we can hop back on.  But for now, before we head on up to the east side, let's take a break. Next time, we'll see a familiar face, snag a new (and very badass) formula, and do some other stuff, so stay tuned!
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Mar 22, 2016 07:26
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Update Thirteen: Secret of Evermore: Canine Drift Welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we washed up on the shores of Crustacia, and met some of the local Rogues. Today, we're going to explore around a little more, see an old friend, and catch back up with Zach. With that said, let's boogie.  We can't get to the treasure on the west banks, so we're forced to go easts.  Mad Monks are another new enemy; they attack by spinning their staves in front of them, which can inflict Confound, which is this game's version of confusion; it reverses your movement inputs, which is more annoying than anything else. It can also inflict Plague, which is a stronger Poison, dealing a little more than 30 damage every few seconds.  However, Mad Monks are not fans of alchemy.  They've only got 60 HP, by the way, giving 20 EXP and 75 Jewels.  We flash annoyingly when Confounded.  Despite messing with your movement, being Confounded doesn't seem to mess with anything else. You'd think it would tank your evasion or hit rate, since you can't move right.   This is another one of those odd areas that doesn't seem to have anything in it. I didn't find any hidden paths or ingredients here, so...Yeah, just a blank area. If anyone can explain it, I'd love to hear it.   Rogues can take a hell of a hit, can't they?  But, a couple of Hard Balls to the Rogue and to the Mad Monk, Hard Ball hits level 6. I think this is the highest level I've ever gotten an alchemy formula in this game.    Rogues also hit like bastards. They've the highest attack of anything we've met so far, counting the bosses we've fought.   However, using the power of style, we can not only take out both Rogues, but also snag a level up!  Maybe there's someone friendly in here.  Hey, it's Blimp! And...drat, did you mount Salabog's head on your wall? That's hardcore.  Big washout? Did I miss something? I know the volcano erupted.  Oh, that was a boat. I thought it was an upside down turtle shell. I guess it could still have been. And we didn't exactly use the boat; we just kind of fell into it.   Whatever is in the Mud Peppers apparently give them some sort of floating ability when mixed with water. Which we've already seen, so I don't know why I said that.   Speaking of which, Blimp, have you seen him?   Oh, we're fading to black.   Well, that's a dog alright.  Even better, it's our dog!  I'm going to have to get Explosionface to make us a new for our new dog.   It seems that we're more in Roman times than Prehistoria. This area is called Antiqua.   : Fix this! Fix that! Never a moment's rest. Sacred Dogs? Maybe that'll come into play later on. I wouldn't expect it, though. Just some throwaway dialog. Also, yes, that guy is just a palette swap of a Prehistoria old guy. And Strong Heart. I didn't notice it until making that portrait, and I had the two side by side on a sprite sheet.   I like how the dog runs. Don't judge me.   : My husband complains about the all the work around here. Truth is, I do the work and he does the complaining. We came out of a fountain; I'm sure our paws are clean.  Now, if that's not a villainous man, I don't know what is.  And he has Caesar on his side, too.  Pompolonius is far too amusing to me.   : I must have the eyes of the Diamond Dog statue.  : But, Sir. The people will not support your actions unless we receive a sign from the Sacred Dog! : I hate to burst your bubble, Pomp, but the Sacred Dog is a myth. We can't expect for some mystic creature to simply slide into the palace! And we  pan over  to this.  Goddammit, I love Zach.   And we fade to black again...  "Looks like I'll have to punt you in the ravine. Nice knowin' ya."  If we're finding our dog, perhaps you have something to help us?  That's...Not quite what I was thinking.  Maybe some fancy new weapon?  If nothin' else, you did build the bridge. I suppose that's enough.  Aha! My man!  Crush is going to be in use for a very, very long time.  So we equip it; I'm going to keep Hard Ball around for a little longer, just in case I need some extra alchemy oomph.  We also stock up on what ingredients we can; we've got twenty-five castings of Crush at our disposal now.   Instead of going across the bridge, we go rob Blimp of some Ash and Wax.   And save up, since we're taking a break. But next time, we'll cross that bridge, a desert, and get a new formula. And maybe other stuff, but you'll have to stay tuned to know for sure!
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Mar 24, 2016 00:41
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I'd do an update today, but my wedding reception is today, so don't expect it. Maybe tomorrow, even though it's Easter. In any case, Happy Easter, everyone!
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Mar 26, 2016 15:57
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It was separate, since our wedding was just a little courthouse ceremony.
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Mar 27, 2016 00:10
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Update Fourteen: Holy Christ, I'm Glad I Didn't Screenshot That poo poo Welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we discovered that something is amiss in Antiqua, something with Sacred Dogs and their eyes. Today, we're going to hit the next city and I have a video for the important stuff there. When you see it, you'll understand.    Get used to seeing this. This next section is crossing a desert.  But, hey, here's an oasis. Those are kind of rare around here, but scattered to and fro.  And that's a skeleton in a row boat.  That's a hell of a lot better than jogging across the desert.  Uh...I have no idea what that is. Sounds cool, though.   Dammit. I wonder if we can fool him.   Yeah, sure. If not, we'll owe you one.  Hrm. Guess he's not that much of a bonehead.  Well, that's alright. We've got a new formula to pick up, anyways. We head northeast.  Yes, that's a tumbleweed. Well, no, it isn't. It's a Tumble Weed, and it's an enemy.  They have 60 HP, and give 50 EXP and 40 Jewels.  Let's toss out Crush.  Enemies are moving around a lot and making it hard to get a good .gif of Crush. One day, I promise!  But, yes, it is a big ol' gently caress-off stone fist coming down to Crush some poor jerk.  There are also Bone Buzzards around here.   They don't take being Crushed very well. This isn't straight Crush, though. It's had a few levels put onto it, since I loaded the wrong state after crossing the desert, so I had to recross it.   Reaching this first oasis is a good sign. When you reach here, head straight north.  If you're wondering, I'm not Poisoned from the spiders; seeing as how it's a desert, it's very hot and we're being roasted.   It's quite a jog through the desert. It's actually very, very big, like far larger than it should be. It's fairly easy to get lost and just wander around aimlessly.  And, of course, there's a hidden formula around here. Why wouldn't there be?  Eh, they're not too bad. Tossing a spear through their eyes really takes the fight out of them.  I'm...I'm not even sure why you want to do that. Or why you're hanging out here, in the middle of nowhere.   Our new formula is Sting, and it takes an ingredient we haven't acquired yet; Vinegar is one of the rarer ingredients in the entire game, and it'll be a little bit before we acquire any.  But once we do, we now have a formula that throws loving bees at enemies. I mean, that's like a genuine fear for tons of people, and now we can just throw bees at them?  The second charge level of the spear is pretty great. I've killed three enemies at once in this desert, which i satisfying in ways I can't properly describe.  Before we head inside, and you can see the stone entrance at the top of the shot, there's something I discovered by accident.  At a certain spot outside of the entrance, you'll find this whirlpool.   It takes a little while before anything starts happening.  Thankfully, we don't hurl. I can hardly stand that noise and I don't like seeing it, either.  Eventually, we're sucked down into the sands.   And dragged over here and spat out.  Now, what did this do for us?  I don't have a shot of it, but it gave us 99 Rice and Spice.  Now, that doesn't sound like anything really useful, right? They're only trade items.  And here, in Nobilia, we're at the local bazaar, and there's a huge series of trades we can do here.   Normally, we'd have to gather all sorts of supplies here, including tons of Rice and Spice, but finding those out in the desert was a huge boon.  Now, it'd be boring as a motherfucker to display all that in screenshots. Instead, I made a boring, 11 minute video, showing it if you'd like.Items Gained Now, inside this market, if you watched the video (or at least skimmed part of it), you'll see that we gained a ton of items. The items we gained were Centurion Cape Centurion Helm Bronze Gloves Armor Polish (increases the defensive power of your armor) Jade Disk (increases hit rate) Moxa Stick (increases the strength of healing alchemy) Ruby Heart (lowers enemy hit rate) Sun Stone (increases attack)  At the end of that video, we were called to the square for some sort of meeting. As we're RPG heroes, that relates to us.   ...Sacred Dog? That's our dog!  I mean, Zach's great and all, but I dunno if he has sacred status.  I...I don't know if I like where this is going.  Alright, there's quite a crowd here, so maybe we won't be picked.  Pick the old guy! Let's see how he fares against whoever is in there. Or whatever.   ...Oh, you son of a bitch.  If nothing else, at least Zach's back.  Who else here has a dog? Seriously, York?  Though, he's figured out his role in this world.  Tiny, if you didn't watch the video, threw a gigantic rock pretty much into the ionosphere. He was jealous of our ability to Levitate us. Or wanted to show how strong he was.  I think we could take him. At least drop a stone fist on him.   And we don't even have a choice. Then again, look at his muscles. I wouldn't piss around with that.   And we get thrown into jail. Or at least the pit before we're killed in the Coliseum.   ...I think you're underestimating us, Tiny. I mean, it's not like we're fighting you.  (yes, I know we can kick his rear end; I just like Tiny, is all)   Pompolonius? What's up?  Nice to meet you outside of a villainous setting.  No, no, no mistake. Zach picked us out.  This part is true. We're more like jungle adventurers, who occasionally throw down with evil twins and destroy magma monsters.  ...drat, your logic is impenetrable!  Guess we'll have to do more than fight.  We're going to have to win.   Yes, please. Keep a record of when some weirdo with an out-of-water life jacket and a pointy stick defeated your Coliseum champion.   He'll do his part to get us out. He's certainly badass enough to handle things on his own.  Now, yeah, all of that sounds really bad, sure. But we've got  ...Oh, hell. Alright, we have to come up with some sort of game plan here. I'm gonna need at least some sort of Easter meal before I've got that figured out. Stay tuned!
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Mar 27, 2016 05:53
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Austin S posted:Seconding this.  You're not the first to point this out to me. My behind-the-scenes guide already yelled at me for that.
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Mar 28, 2016 17:57
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Seiren posted:And then you yelled at me for yelling at you about it! Explosionface posted:It's a trap you can never escape, fyi. Seiren, be glad I don't know of any sprite editing or .gif skills you have. Just ask Explosionface how many requests for things he gets.
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Mar 28, 2016 22:06
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Carbon dioxide posted:Say, Leave, what's your secret? How can I get my own crew of people doing things for my LP? Persistent begging. And once they do one thing, don't let up.
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Mar 28, 2016 22:58
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Update Fifteen: A Fuckwit With A Foot In His rear end Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we did a bunch of market trading, which I showed in video, because, seriously, who the hell wants that laid out in screenshots? Today, we're going to have an actual update and kick some rear end in the Colosseum, so let's boogie.  We were locked in this room last time, before we had to fight the Champion.   Ah! The Thug's Cloak! This increases Evasion, and according to my spirit-guide, I wouldn't be able to get this for a while.  Over here, there's a hidden room.  There's some Wax, a Call Bead, and cash over here.  And these babies; if we had traded away the Moxa Stick, like some sort of loving fool, we could have had these earlier.  At this moment, we're pretty well equipped.   For once, our defense is higher than Zach's, but we've also got three levels on him and the most recent gear. Next update, he'll have something better, but for now, we're tougher than our dog! Maybe not strength-wise, but Zach's a fuckin' beast.  Petals? Why would I want one of those!? The Moxa Stick has made healing alchemy that much better, giving it a 25% boost. The video starts here and ends after the boss fight! Well, let's get this over with.  Yeah, he'd make it too easy. And it's not a hard fight to begin with.  He's a good dog, isn't he? Snooze well, doggy.   Holy balls, that's a lot of people.  And those at those yahoos in the audience.   I think Pompolonius is living out a dream here. And who never wanted to be a stadium announcer?     A jerk with too many names!     Yes, that goofy rear end track plays over his little roll along.  It might be my favorite track in the game. It's just so fun!  Yeah, let's introduce the guy who will be taking that spot.  ...Well, that's not the entrance I imagined.  Neither was that, you dicks!  Alright, what goofy rear end movie are you going to quote now?  That sounds like the gay porn version of Spartacus.  ...C'mon, can't you have more faith in yourself, York?   Alright, let's dance, Colosseum Crapface.  Before we can get smacked, I throw down some alchemy.  Vigor has some power behind his attacks, as befitting a muscle-man in a spiked chariot.   He has 1,050 HP to his name, which sounds like a lot, doesn't it? Salabog had nearly double that, but our damage output is a lot better now.   We also can't hit him from the front or sides. That chariot is more than just a showpiece; it's a huge defensive barrier.  He also has some ranged attacks, including this boomerang. Like every video game boomerang ever, it travels in a small arc before returning to Vigor.  He'll tool around the arena, while we have to work our way behind him.  Had you ignored the Spear until this point, you're just making things harder on yourself. Not only does it simplify fighting Salabog, but this fight is also more of a pain in the rear end if you have to wedge yourself into his crack to hit him.  Alchemy does its part to help, but his magic defense is pretty good. At level 3, Crush is getting a little over 60 damage.  Yes, he has a trident to throw at you. I'm not sure why.   This is one of those fights that isn't easy to show off; Vigor is constantly moving, requires you to hit him from behind, even if he does have a easily avoidable pattern, but it works better in motion.  Keep your health high, because, as I said, Vigor has some good power behind his attacks. Then again, one of his attacks is winging a trident into a teenager's back, and that would kill me, as an adult with many layers of fat.  Oh, yes, Moxa Stick, you'll come in handy. As long as we keep using Heal, it'll keep growing stronger. If I do it right, I'll be able to outpace our max health with Heal, which means we'll never need another healing item!   I'll teach you how to throw a pointy stick, you shitlicker!  And, yes, he has an rear end to show off. I figured someone out there would enjoy it.   He then explodes into a pile of cash. Video games are awesome.  York acts like a spaz after winning the fight, but I think he's entitled to that.  In all fairness, so did he.  A new weapon!!   This sword has 20 Attack Power, just like our Horn Spear, but with the Silver Sheath's bonus always being active, this sword is currently stronger than the spear.  It's a better sword. And an actual sword, as compared to the bone we had before.  What makes you think he knows? I'm pretty sure he thinks a Podunk is probably something in the desert that wants to eat his colon.  None of you fuckers say a word about treasure over there.  I'm imagining these eyes look at you like the Hypnotoads'.  The weirdo in the red cape and white hair? I could see that; he seems like some sort of wizard.  Well, it is like their local god or something. If I saw proof of my god wandering around, I'd definitely keep mentioning it.  Well, he looks more like his old self now than he did before.   Alright, so we've just gotta go find some diamonds, slap them into the statue, and we can get home?  Well, that sounds--  Ah, hell.  Uh-huh...  I can't even think of anything to say here.  Let's roll out, pointy-eared buddy.  This is also where the video ends, if you were watching.   The top of his head looks like a chocolate egg.   Oh, it's just Picard.   ...Cleanliness? Is the spooky wall-guy obsessed with being clean?  Uh, we'll Windex them off before we give them to you.   Alright, fine, we'll slap on some Secret before coming to see you. Yeesh.  Have you seen that loving desert out there? I don't know my way around there! Nobody does!  Because Pompolonius, some guy who works for you, told us to! You should know that! We're technically working for you!  I'm going to Crush your testicles if you try anything.  And his dog, too?   ...Old coot? I bet that other side of the river is the west bank, where there's treasure. I hope you're all happy about that. If you didn't click the Tindeck link above, you should. It's pretty well done, and it gives me the heebie-jeebies.  Eh, nothin' we can't handle. We did survive a volcano exploding.  Yes, yes, on the west side of the river. We'll get there.  Not this update, though. We'll get there next time, but for now, we're taking a break. Stay tuned!
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Mar 29, 2016 22:15
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