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Over six million words. Thousands of stories. Countless battles.![]() Thunderdome 2012 Thunderdome 2013 Thunderdome 2014 Thunderdome 2015 Thunderdome 2016 Click here to join the bloodbath (current prompt) Oxxidation posted:Thunderdome has reincarnated in various shapes since the paleolithic era, when a cantankerous chieftain and a frequently drunken sexual deviant contested ownership of a slain boar by seeing who could scream the loudest. You find yourself within a glorious, embattled empire… Thunderdome is more than just a weekly flash fiction contest. Thunderdome is a crucible. It is the winnowing fork that separates the wheat from the chaff. There is no mercy for the weak. There is untold glory for the strong. You step onto bloodied sands. Each week, there is a prompt. The prompt includes a word count, some inspiration or instructions for your story, and the deadlines by which you must sign up and submit your story. There is a winner and a loser. The winner is granted untold power, and chooses the prompt, word count, and deadlines for the following week. The loser is drowned in infamy and receives an avatar to mark their shame. Through compliance we achieve greatness. The word count is a hard maximum. The deadlines are absolute. Those who fail (neglect to submit a story) should ![]() If you write fanfiction or erotica, you will be shoved face-first against the wall and your rear end will be devoured by shitweasels. If you edit your post after submission, you will be shoved face-first against the wall and your rear end will be devoured by shitweasels (plus, your entry will be disqualified). If you put your submission in quote tags, you will be shoved face-first against the wall and your rear end will be devoured by shitweasels. UPDATE: No really, quotes tags make stories more of a pain in the rear end for archiving. This means any and all quote tags within your story. Blame computers and science. If you shitpost unfunny things in the thread, you will be shoved face-first against the wall and your rear end will be devoured by shitweasels. If you respond to critiques from the judges or your fellow combatants, you will be shoved face-first against the wall and your rear end will be devoured by shitweasels. If you start shitfights that you aren’t prepared to brawl over, you will be shoved face-first against the wall and your rear end will be devoured by shitweasels. If you do anything that requires moderator actions, you will be shoved face-first against the wall and your rear end will be devoured by shitweasels. If you win the week and go more than a day without responding in the thread, you will be shoved face-first against the wall and your rear end will be devoured by shitweasels (and you may lose the bloodthrone). Advice on surviving the Thunderdome Please click this link for advice on formatting your stories for Thunderdome. On judging: The Founders posted:Three shalt be the number of judges, and the number of judges shall be three. ![]() ![]() If you win, you should judge. If you can’t judge, let us know via the thread, PM, or IRC. When you judge, you should be prepared to offer some commentary for the stories in your week. You will select two co-judges, and those co-judges should also be prepared to offer some sort of critique for the week. If you win the week and we don’t hear from you for more than a day (roughly 24 hours from the results post), you run the risk of forfeiting the prompt. Submissions are generally on Sundays. If you haven’t judged by Wednesday, you run the risk of a coup. You will most certainly be shamed into oblivion, and be remembered as That Person Who Won and Then Couldn’t Stick Around to Do Their Goddamn Job. On posting, by Djeser: quote:GOOD THUNDERDOME POSTS: On brawling, by Sebmojo: quote:
Fraternization with the enemy Come chat with us in #Thunderdome on SynIRC. If you’re new to IRC, an easy way to connect is to go to chat.mibbit.com, select SynIRC from the dropdown menu, enter your username into the nickname field, and type ‘#Thunderdome’ into the channel field. No creeping on other domers in IRC. No IRC bullshit in the thread. Lurkers are generally not welcome. If you are curious about Thunderdome but haven’t signed up yet, however, let us know! We are also happy to answer any questions about Thunderdome. Misc. Remember to edit any stories you may want to submit to publications out of the thread. Once it closes at the end of the year and goes into the goldmine, there is no way to remove your posts from public view. If you want to discuss a critique you received, take it to the Fiction farm or Fiction Advice. Ock ock the blood the bloo blo free cache cab Sitting Here fucked around with this message at 20:56 on Dec 27, 2017 |
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Assembled for Your Convenience: The Thunderdome Archive! Once upon a time, two Thunderdome veterans sharing a fondness for records, a fascination with statistics, and a touch of OCD conceived of the greatest project ever imagined: the Thunderdome Archive, where everyone's literary shame could be displayed forever. crabrock bought a domain and used his mastery of code to make all his visions come true. Kaishai assisted him by trawling the threads for prompts, stories, and relevant .gifs. Together they continue to fight the crime that is data loss. The Archive's purpose is to store the over five million words of creative effluvium written for TD to date. If you want to make use of it to the fullest degree (which includes reading the stories), you'll need an account, and you can request one through the link at the top left of the index. Note that accounts are open to participants only. If you're desperate to read about Vorpal Drones and vambraces at sea without searching the threads, you must first shed blood. We have graphs! ![]() We have lists and rankings! ![]() ![]() We have mad libs! ![]() (Please read "Rural Rentboys," Thunderdome's most beloved classic, to understand 2017teen and to reach true spiritual enlightenment.) And much, much more! Visit the Thunderdome Archive today! Kaishai fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Jan 6, 2017 |
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Thunderbrawls of 2017pre:Thunderbrawl 212 by sebmojo: Entenzahn vs. The Saddest Rhino Round 1 Entenzahn Thunderbrawl 213 by Sitting Here: BeefSupreme vs. SurreptitiousMuffin vs. Chili Round 1 BeefSupreme Thunderbrawl 214 by Chili: sebmojo vs. BeefSupreme Round 1 sebmojo Thunderbrawl 215 by flerp: GenJoe vs. The Cut of Your Jib Round 1 The Cut of Your Jib Thunderbrawl 216 by BeefSupreme: SkaAndScreenplays vs. Sitting Here Round 1 Sitting Here (by default) Thunderbrawl 217 by Sitting Here: Chili vs. ThirdEmperor Round 1 Chili Thunderbrawl 218 by sebmojo: Chili vs. Sitting Here Round 1 Sitting Here Thunderbrawl 219 by flerp: Thranguy vs. Toadsmash Round 1 Thranguy (by default) Thunderbrawl 220 by flerp: sebmojo vs. Jitzu_the_Monk Round 1 Jitzu_the_Monk Thunderbrawl 221 by flerp: SurreptitiousMuffin vs. Chili Round 1 SurreptitiousMuffin Thunderbrawl 222 by flerp: Fleta Mcgurn vs. Bad Seafood Round 1 Bad Seafood Thunderbrawl 223 by flerp: Tyrannosaurus vs. BeefSupreme Round 1 Tyrannosaurus Thunderbrawl 224 by flerp: Djeser vs. Aesclepia Round 1 Djeser Thunderbrawl 225 by flerp: Sitting Here vs. Uranium Phoenix Round 1 Sitting Here Thunderbrawl 226 by flerp: Solitair vs. crabrock Round 1 crabrock Thunderbrawl 227 by flerp: crabrock vs. Jitzu_the_Monk Round 1 crabrock Thunderbrawl 228 by flerp: Bad Seafood vs. Sitting Here Round 1 Sitting Here (by default) Thunderbrawl 229 by flerp: Tyrannosaurus vs. Thranguy Round 1 Tyrannosaurus Thunderbrawl 230 by flerp: SurreptitiousMuffin vs. Djeser Round 1 SurreptitiousMuffin Thunderbrawl 231 by flerp: crabrock vs. Tyrannosaurus Round 1 crabrock Thunderbrawl 232 by flerp: SurreptitiousMuffin vs. Sitting Here Round 1 SurreptitiousMuffin Thunderbrawl 233 by flerp: crabrock vs. SurreptitiousMuffin Round 1 SurreptitiousMuffin Thunderbrawl 234 by sebmojo: Sitting Here vs. derp Round 1 Sitting Here Thunderbrawl 235 by Djeser: Yoruichi vs. Sham bam bamina! Round 1 Sham bam bamina! Thunderbrawl 236 by sebmojo: Chili vs. Djeser Round 1 Djeser Thunderbrawl 237 by Tyrannosaurus: spectres of autism vs. sparksbloom Round 1 spectres of autism Thunderbrawl 238 by flerp: sebmojo vs. Deltasquid Round 1 sebmojo Kaishai fucked around with this message at 10:38 on Dec 24, 2017 |
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The Thunderdome Recaps Since 2015teen, various Thunderdome participants have turned their time, their voices, their questionable intelligence, and their ever-dubious charisma toward the task of discussing rounds recently past. These are the links to follow if you want to hear goons talk about you, assuming your writing is crappy enough to distinguish itself in the fecal pile. You may also hear Ironic Twist singing like Justin Timberlake. Don't say you weren't warned. The recaps have a new index thanks to crabrock's efforts! However, it doesn't yet include The Top Ten poo poo Scenes of Thunderdome, which you may or may not want to miss depending on your tastes. Kaishai fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Dec 27, 2017 |
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Judgment for the last week of 2016 So this was a bad week with more terrible words than a preschoolers poop smeared coloring book. When I said resolution that should have had an implicit I WILL WRITE BETTER attached to it. Also when you have an image to use as a flash rule don't always leap to that being a literal scene in your story. However there were two stories that were head and shoulders above the others, though, so step forward Sparksbloom and Krunge for their stories Earthquake Season and Bugging Out! Unfortunately they were only head and shoulders above in badness so they can take a dm and a loss, in that order. Managing to actually avoid the residual curse radiation of 2016 was Thranguy with Lantern Fish, he can grab the sole HM. The winner managed to tell a solid story about actual people which made the judges smile and feel a feeling, a tiny seedling of hope curling through the blasted concrete of 2016. Step forward QuoProQuid, who won the week with Roll for Initiative.
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Fast judging? ![]()
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Week 230 crits, you horrible monsters Sprxblm Earthquake Season This feels like an anti-story. Literally none of the prominent elements hang together in any cohesive way. Like, presumably Maurice asked Hunter for the drugs, but it’s not clear why he abruptly goes all Get Thee Behind Me Satan. It’s not clear why the secretary beats Hunter to apparent death. You’ve got this conversation about earthquakes and race wars, but it has nothing to do with any of the other events in the story. It’s a frustratingly disjointed series of events. B. prof my washer is full of baby boomers Fun story. You hooked me with the in-unit washer and dryer at a decent price and kept my interest with the absurd twist. You have a penchant for humorous situations and fun dialog and this story showcased that. The tattoo scheme was ridiculous, but it led to a charming ending so ultimately I was ok with it. Flerp to punch a ghost Hrrmm. idk what to think of this. I’m not really sure how the kid solved his problem. Just by bullying the ghost into the wall? I laughed at “i’m twelve, dude”. I think I sort of like the basic premise. A 12 year old wouldn’t really be equipped to help a ghost “move on”, so it’s kind of a nice change from the usual ghost cliches. Ent this is one of my hardest tricks you know Uuuh. So the big paragraph of magical fuckery was kind of a chore to read. I guess I’m just not all that interested in reading about a guy who solves his problems with magic that I don’t know the rules of or care about. This is kind of a boilerplate fantasy situation. It’s like, guy has a problem, but he does the magical thing and then the problem is ok. I get the plot, the dude needed to buy some time to do the magical thing he procrastinated on. It’s just not very satisfying. ANSB universal donor How does one “toe” themselves somewhere? There are a few other weird phrases in this story. I kind of dig the weirdness and the body horror, though. Unfortunately, the creepiness was all it had going for it. At this word count, you can’t really do a ton of characterization AND detail all of the blood and viscera, so at the end of the story I felt like I’d watched an interesting thing happen to total strangers. It would be cool if the weird hosed up “healing” thing was a metaphor for something or...something, but I didn’t really get that vibe. BOS Google Earth What is the fascination with mates mating in the pub, i swear. So many thunderdome words have been used to describe pub chit-chat. Literally the only thing the beginning of this story has going for it is the fact that simon is in his underwear, but the intrigue fades fast. Luckily, the story takes a turn for the interesting just before i lost my interest, ala Samwise saving frodo from dropping despairingly into mt. doom lava. Simon’s theory is interesting, though it’s all confined to one conversation inside a bar, which is not as great. I was a little disappointed that so many words were used on flavor dialog when you’ve got tiny digital people in internet zeppelins, or whatever! I wanted to investigate that some more! Also, you thought your story was so nice that you pasted it twice, I guess. Ska fantastic meats and where to grind them Typo in the first sentence, come ON. I don’t like to nit-pick typos, but having one in the first sentence is kind of like accidentally leaving a smear of poo on your CV when you go to hand it in to a prospective employer. Your commas are all over the place, my dude. You’ve got bad comma splices and missing commas. But then...either the story got better, so i didn’t notice the punctuation issues, or your punctuation got better. BUT THEN...the protag and friends become satan baby food, the end. I mean, I guess there is some implication that the people watching the stream called the cops, but it’s too late. I actually kind of liked your characters, or at least I liked the hint of a group dynamic. I’m not a fan of the ending though, not at all. When I think about your entries from the last few months, it occurs to me that you’re pretty good at character banter (like in that spaceship story from metal week) so focus on that more and ditch the cheap scares. Chili you have no self worth take some of mine I feel like the first line should be broken up into short, punchy sentence fragments, but maybe that’s just me. As it is now, it’s kinda wordy and I don’t like how it’s structured. Not sure how I feel about using asterisks for the BOOMs. I think the convention for onomatopoeia is to use italics, but that’s a minor point. I lol’d at ‘The Smiths’. I think it’s just a capitalization error, but I’m going to choose to believe that Morrissey et al are the landlords of this building. You should cut down on the rambly sentences, some of them are TOO LONG. The ending sequence….I have no words. I don’t know if I’m mad or amused. Some combination of the two, I reckon. Smdh. Hawklad ahrd reset How does a mote of bacon burst onto one’s lip? But okay you have this horrible she-beast of a girlfriend and her put-upon lover who wishes he could undo it all. It’s not great, but so far the stories this week seem to spend WAY too long getting to the conflict, so it’s nice to see one start there. Overall, this story has the same vibe as a cringey comedy like Curb Your Enthusiasm or Peep Show. I think in a visual medium, you could kind of pull off the accidental wife-killing and not have it be unspeakably dark, but as a written story, it feels a bit hideous. Maybe that’s intentional and I’m the hosed up one for reading this as a comedy. Not bad overall, though, even if the main character is an evil, impotent weenie. Beef supreme clockwork So, i think this is a decent piece of writing overall. However, it’s pretty obvious that the old man is time, so there is no real mystery. It’s a catalogue of Martin’s resolute but futile attempts to stave off the effects of time. There were a few things I’d quibble with on a line crit level, but otherwise I feel like this piece did what it set out to do. qpq roll for initiative D’awwwwe. This is a really cute little father/son moment, with a little character depth to boot. These felt like real people rather than caricatures. I feel like some of the words dedicated to grocery-handling at the beginning were superfluous, but otherwise everything was charmingly real and sweet. Thrangles lantern-fish I had a really tough time visualizing a lot of this because the setting isn’t firmly established until part way through the story. I was picturing a bog or swamp, since will-o-wisps are associated with rotting swamp matter. I was kind of annoyed at the number of characters. Maurice/Marlow were especially annoying because they scan so similarly. I sort of understand WHY there are so many people, it’s because each death lets you do fun poetic descriptive things. The narrative spends so much time being poetic and dreamy that I was surprised when Marlowe explained the ‘rules’ of the wil o wisp at the end of the story. Once the narrative told me explicitly what was going on, I got frustrated. Like, either you needed to go balls to the wall with the abstract stuff and leave the reader to figure it out for themselves, or you needed to put the stuff about time travel earlier on. Your character has a distinct goal, but the reader doesn’t really know that until the end. You probly shouldn’t pile all your context onto the end of the story imo Katdicks pardoned Okay, I laughed. gj on correctly guessing that the judges are all five year olds at heart. But to your credit, I suppose most of us can relate to the urgency of needing to pass gas in an inappropriate situation, so it’s a good source of tension, i guess???? I wasn’t feeling the characters too much, though. Alice is a little too sweet and ever so polite, except for her gas problem, obviously. The receptionist would, in reality, probably lose her job if she behaved the way you described. Mr. Lieberman is every bloated CEO stereotype ever. It...kind of works, insofar as I guess it’s kind of funny to watch these caricatures get farted on. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, it is just a couple of caricatures getting farted on. renee take w/ food I actually like the parts of the story where the character is tripping. I was disappointed when it turned out to be a trip. I feel like the whole first part of the story is just...kinda useless bloat, the only function of which is to set up the pill switch. Should’ve just played it straight as fantastical horror. You could’ve condensed the protagonist’s self deprecating new year’s resolution flimflam and jumped straight to the good stuff. Krunge bugging out this story makes me feel like i have brain damage. im having a really hard time understanding where this tidal cascade of fleas came from, since the first paragraph describes them as being “unleashed into the home”. Was the narrator just walking around with them in his pocket? But then, he’s there to exterminate bugs, presumably, so why would he be bringing them into the house???? And then the cat. I get it, he mentally nicknames the cat “dickfuck” because it’s a little rear end in a top hat, and it all builds up to the “joke” where his boss thinks he’s calling him a dickfuck. But it’s still annoying to read over and over. You’ve got some weeeeird things going on: quote:I ripped the offending canister from its lawsuit worthy facial storage, taking a quarter of the mask with it, and tossed it away with all the grace of a head injury. This is soooo overly wordy. A lot of this story is overly wordy in a way that makes me think you were going for a clever/humorous tone, but it just doesn’t work a lot of the time. Like, a head injury doesn’t lack grace, someone with a head injury lacks grace. oh and it should be ‘lawsuit-worthy’, you are missing a hyphen. quote:I stepped forward, only to trip over Billy’s beer can, my elbow driving into Billy’s beer cans. the repetition of “billy’s beer can(s)” is really awkward quote:To the kneeling Billy, I took the opening to remove my awkward gloves and stuff them in his always open maw. what yeah this is one step above incomprehensible.
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im just doing a post so i can look up my posts easier later on in the year
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^^^^ click the '?' icon under flerp's posts to see how NOT to post in thunderdome
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Sitting Here posted:^^^^ click the '?' icon under flerp's posts to see how NOT to post in thunderdome im gonna post good actually
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wait poo poo i hosed up already
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DRAGON BRAWL WITH SEBMOJO:![]() Zahhak 1364 Words Three heads… Check Massive size… Check. Decimated city… Check. Doctor Miranda LeMieux fought with all her might to pick her jaw up from the floor of the observation tower. You’re full of poo poo Belmont, were the only words she’d managed to muster before agreeing to come to Baghdad. Here, with the evidence in plain sight below her she would say them again. “You’re full of poo poo Belmont,” the words belied awe at being one of the first to witness the excavation. “There is no way that is a real goddamned dragon.” “I almost wish you were right,” Professor Belmont laughed as Miranda jumped at the unexpected reply. “In fact, pulling off a forgery of this magnitude would be nearly as rewarding as confirming its authenticity. Your skepticism aside; I’m glad you could make it Miranda.” “I wouldn’t miss it,” Miranda studied the face of her former colleague for signs of deception. She found nothing but a white smile and freckled skin framed by copper-red locks. “I’ll take any excuse to get out of the lab and into the field these days.” She turned back to study the mass or workers below, “this is going to be a hard sell Lisette. So go ahead, convince me.” Old emotions came flooding back as Lisette’s chin came to rest on her shoulder followed by a gentle embrace. The doctor pushed them aside almost as quickly as they had come, “You know I’m not going to let my feelings obscure my objectivity.” Placing a gentle kiss on Miranda’s cheek Lisette whispered, “That is exactly why I wanted you to do the hard science, you know me and you know the tricks I’ve tried to pull in the past.” She nipped Miranda on the ear, “Now let's go get a closer look. The anatomy of this thing is going to blow your mind…” “I suggest we start at the head,” Lisette was back to business by the time they’d reached the jeep waiting at the base of the tower. Zahhak has come out of the excavation completely intact but his skull is absolutely awe inspiring.” Miranda fastened her seat belt, “let's take it from the top then…” The dig site was impressive enough from the deck of the observation tower; here on the ground it was intimidating. The tail of the dragon had been uncovered by construction workers clearing ten acres for coalition forces to use an air base. In the ensuing months the excavation had expanded to cover nearly 5 square kilometers. This wasn’t just the discovery of a new species; the chance discovery had lead to an entire city being unearthed. A self-satisfied smile crossed Lisette’s face as she piloted their vehicle to the far side of the dig. Miranda took no notice, completely enraptured by the sheer scale of the thing and asking questions she’d already seen the answers to on paper. Miranda wasn’t certain whether this was to confirm that she wasn’t dreaming or to see if Lisette would slip up and reveal this all to be a hoax. “How long from head to tail?” Forty-five meters. “Wingspan?” Ninety-nine meters. “You think this thing was an omnivore?” Analysis of the skull and dentition indicate a varied diet. “How in the gently caress did this thing get off the ground.” I have no clue. Doctor LeMieux was out of the jeep before it had come to a complete stop. Jogging she had reached the fallen monstrosity before Lisette had even turned off the engine. Awe-inspiring was an egregious understatement as far as Miranda was concerned. It was as if someone had yanked these bones from the pages of some fantasy novel and set them down gently amongst the ruins of an Ancient Persian city. The neck still encased in sediment Zahhak’s gaping maw sat open, as terrifying as it was inviting. “I made sure to put a rush on separating the bone from the sandstone, figured you’d want to get as clear a picture as possible,” Lisette had finally caught up, “I didn’t realize they’d completely cleared all the debris.” Miranda’s biting response came as she stepped into the dragon’s maw, “Or you could be using this as a way of misdirecting me… drawing my attention away from otherwise obvious signs of forgery.” Lisette had no reply, “Jesus Christ this thing is huge. You could have saved me from exercise if you’d just parked the Jeep in here.” “As if I’d pass up an opportunity to see you run from that angle,” Miranda’s cheeks flushed as Lisette eyed her with what she called the ‘up-down.’ Even here in the jaws of a dragon, she thought, Lisette Belmonte is still the apex predator. “Given what we found near where you’d expect to find the stomach I imagine this little guy couldn’t do with much smaller of a mouth.” Lisette placed a hand on the beast’s massive incisor, “You’ll see that later. Come around here though.” Miranda obliged, gasping at what she found on the far side of the skull. “We think that’s what killed it,” Lisette gestured to a massive iron spear protruding from just below the eye socket, “the anthropology crew has been bugging me to let them pull it for weeks. I figured it best to keep it there as knowing how anyone managed to kill this thing might provide some insight as to what in the hell it is exactly.” It was Lisette’s turn to blush now; finding herself on the receiving end of an appreciative smile of her long-time colleague and estranged lover. Silence floated between them for a moment. Eyes locked Lisette pressed on. “Any thoughts so far?” “The cranium is definitely more avian than it is reptilian, Probably Archaeopterygidae. So you can stop with the cryptozoological nonsense I know is bouncing around inside that bird-brain of yours. Stick to anthropology it’s what you’re good at.” Miranda knelt at the jaw hinge, “I’ve got major problems with the dentition though.” She traced a finger along the back four teeth, “even in common ancestors birds and reptiles don’t have specialized teeth. These molars and those incisors are a big red flag.” “Well that’s disappointing,” Lisette offered a hand, “the first time I don’t try to falsify a find in years and it turns out too good to be true.” “I’m not saying it's impossible just that it's unheard of.” Miranda stopped, not certain whether she was consoling a friend or compromising her objectivity, “honestly I’m not sure how anyone could pull off a con of this magnitude. Let’s go check out the wing structure, I’ve got some ideas about how this thing might have taken flight.” A five minute walk and a lift from a boom-truck later Miranda found her skepticism fading away fast. Still she pressed Lisette for her insights; not certain if she wanted to catch her in a lie or see her tell the truth for once in her professional life. Miranda tested her with a simple question. Pointing to an oddity in the hinge of the wing and asking, “what do you make of this?” “I’d assume damage from the impact with the ground,” her face twisted as she searched for another possible explanation, “maybe some sort of bite mark from a territorial or mating dispute?” Miranda pulled Lisette in to face her, “Try again.” “Some sort of weight reduction maybe?” “Nope…” Miranda smirked, already knowing the answer. “I don’t know then,” Lisette’s face drooped as she looked down at her shoes, “like you said, stick to anthropology.” “You have no idea how happy that makes me,” Miranda lifted her friend’s chin, leaning in close, “because if you were faking this it would be for no other reason than to convince everyone how intelligent you are. The fact that you don’t recognize that as a locking mechanism for soaring flight means that you aren’t lying about all this at the very least.” She pressed her lips firmly against Lisette’s. “I’m not saying I believe this is some mythical beast given form in reality,” they kissed again. “I am saying that I believe you’re just as confounded as I am about all of this. That’s more important to me than anything.”
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Sitting Here posted:[url=]Click here to join the bloodbath (current prompt)[/url] missing something QuoProQuid
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Early post for post finding if flerp hasnt already bumped this to page 2
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archives
sebmojo fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Jan 8, 2018 |
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“I’ is my spirit rune
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dragon brawl results i dont like either of these ignoring the weird whatever the gently caress happened, sebmojo's had a too cutesy tone and its prose felt off. it was too direct and simple, making it feel mostly lifeless. which is true, because there was no life in the main character who first watched a dragon and then watched a person pick a lock and then watched dudes talk for a bit and then watched a person play a flute and then, whoa, played a flute! why did they want to see the dragon? idk. they didnt even seem to care that the dragon was gonna be killed or whatever, the protag was just an idiot i guess. pretty boring. id much rather read about the girl who tried to save the dragon, she seemed way more interesting then the dumb idiot girl who jumped down because she was an idiot. that dragon saving girl seemed to have motivations and i really did not care about the protag whatsoever. ska's was boring too so hey, at least there's that much! it was just a bunch of banter and it had no idea what it was trying to be. was it about discovering a dragon? i guess, but that doesnt really go anywhere. was it about the romance? i think that's what its about, but then why is there so much drat talk about the dragon. like, ok, i get it, that's prob how these irl things would go down but like i dont actually care because a lot of irl stuff is like super loving boring. for a story that is just a majority of two people talking to each other, the dialogue is pretty stale. like, even when that one person did the flirt thing and the protag was like "wow that guy's an apex predator" that was awful. both the apex predator line and the dialogue. it was just mostly boring talking that needed some energy to it. either the dialogue needed to be a whole of lot more entertaining, or there needed to be more action or something happening. i mean, hell, all the story is is "two people talk for a while, figure out the dragon's prob real, oh and theyre romantically involved." the relationship and history of the characters are established well enough, but you probably couldve established all of that in less than half of the words and had things happen like maybe the dragon could burn everything down or like idk somebody would do a thing or thered be a complication in the fact that they cant be together??? like what if the dragon was a fraud? i guess maybe you were trying to parallel the discovery of dragon = the discovery of love, and the testing of the dragon is testing the old love again which is kinda okay but the story is just so dull that i dont care. oh well whatever ska is the winner because his protag did things and wasnt a big massive idiot which (imo) are good things for a protag to be.
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sebmojo the ÃIƒÂIƒâ¬‚ÅIp¢â‚
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WEEK CCXXXI: No Grown-ups! Good morning, Thunderdome. Today, we’ll be trying something that I am sure I will deeply regret on Sunday. The focus of this week is children. Namely, I want you to write a story where all of the major characters are under the age of thirteen. No adults. No teenagers. You can include older characters in the background or as incidental characters, but I will put you in time-out if you focus too many words on kids outside your age group. Please don’t get cutesy and write about five-year-old girls who are secretly several hundred years old. Your characters should sound like actual children instead of like really short twenty-somethings. If you need additional inspiration, you can ask one of the judges to assign you a LEGO set from the list here. The no fan-fiction rule still applies, but the set you receive should inform your story in some way if you request it. (I'm stealing this from Chairchucker's Week 81, but I loved that prompt so I don't caaaaaare. <3) Good luck, domers. Go nuts. Be creative. Baby-Sitters Club: QuoProQuid Chili Djeser Final Sign-Up Deadline: 11:59:59 PM EST on Friday, 6 January 2017 Submission Deadline: 11:59:59 PM EST on Sunday, 8 January 2017 Word Count: 1,200 words Meddling Kids: 1. a new study bible (Intercoastal Seaport) 2. metrofreak (King's Castle) 3. The Cut of Your Jib ![]() 4. GenJoe 5. Chairchucker (Polar Base) 6. Thranguy (Sabre Island) 7. Farchanter (Mystic Mountain Time Lab) 8. Krunge (Pharaoh's Forbidden Ruins) 9. BeefSupreme (Western Train) 10. SkaAndScreenplays (Dino Quad) 11. The Saddest Rhino (Beta-1 Command Base) 12. Jay W. Friks ![]() 13. Benny Profane (Gold City Junction) 14. sebmojo (Swiss Villa) ![]() 15. Noah (Samurai Stronghold) 16. kurona_bright (Atlantis Exploration HQ) ![]() 17. Fleta Mcgurn (Temple of Mount Everest) 18. katdicks 19. ArgumentatumE.C.T. 20. Entenzahn 21. Kaishai 22. sitting here (Viking Fortress against the Fafnir Dragon) 23.) Okua 24.) flerp QuoProQuid fucked around with this message at 05:16 on Jan 9, 2017 |
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Sign up with Lego please.
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a new study bible! posted:Sign up with Lego please. Intercoastal Seaport ![]()
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I'm in. Lego me.
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Metrofreak posted:I'm in. Lego me. King's Castle ![]()
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in ![]()
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in
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You know I gotta have me some LEGO
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In!
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In.
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If you don't take a Lego set I have no respect for you. ![]()
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I can help with judging.
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In, and Lego me.
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In, with a Lego set.
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In and lego me.
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in, and gimme some LEGO
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in
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# ? Sep 1, 2024 02:16 |
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POINT OF CLARIFICATION: You will not get a LEGO set unless you explicitly ask for a LEGO set. I'm not making it mandatory, but it might be a good idea if you are struggling for an idea.Chairchucker posted:You know I gotta have me some LEGO ![]() Polar Base Thranguy posted:In, and Lego me. ![]() Sabre Island Farchanter posted:In, with a Lego set. ![]() Mystic Mountain Time Lab Krunge posted:In and lego me. ![]() Pharaoh's Forbidden Ruins BeefSupreme posted:in, and gimme some LEGO ![]() Western Train QuoProQuid fucked around with this message at 01:26 on Jan 4, 2017 |
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