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pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
Less talking more poly cheese bags

I hope everybody in the comments finds Jesus

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Wowza.
AITA for getting mad at my sister for piercing her nose?

I understand that is tied to a deeply traumatic event, however I

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for throwing my boyfriend a surprise party?

I. DID. NOT. YELL. AT. GRANDMA.

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for blowing up at my grandma?

Im not sure how exactly to feed the cat

Gnossiennes posted:

AITA for yelling at my obsessed wife

Pam is NOT to apply margarine to any of her coworkers

Hellblazer187 posted:

UPDATE: aita for perpetuating stereotypes about Jorts?
Original HERE

Im sorry why are you marrying a man that pissed on your head

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for kicking MIL's stepdaughter out of my wedding?

My teeth will regrow! I am sharklike and powerful!

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for hiding embarrassing notes in my house as a joke because I know my fiance's mom snoops?

The Three Vibrator Problem

Mx. posted:

I gave my partner three vibrators – now she is addicted to them and I feel redundant

we kiss every few weeks and she doesn't hate it I think

Boba Pearl posted:

Me (F28) with my ace partner (F26) of five years. Should I remove my nudity game modifications

I even said "excuse me" to the girl loving my boyfriend.

Hughlander posted:

My [27] boyfriend [28] slept with another woman and claims I wanted him to


[UPDATE] My [27] boyfriend [28] slept with another woman and claims I wanted him to


but her meats are well distributed

Olive Branch posted:

AITA for telling my friend that laziness is what makes her unattractive?

learn how to wipe your own rear end, we can't hose you down every time

sootikins posted:

AITA for telling my BF he should learn how to wipe his rear end

Thought my son was having gay sex, he just really liked hummus

TLDR: My son is actually gay, but also I really like hummus

Mister Olympus posted:

TIFU by thinking my son was having gay sex when he was just eating Hummus

Cake gay, so what

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for describing my MIL's birthday cake as "kinda gay"

titty_baby_ posted:

Cake gay, so what

EDIT: Do not message me on here about your dick.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for "embarrassing" my bf in front of everyone

Rest in peace, baffled yelling chicken

Pleads posted:

Rest in peace, baffled yelling chicken

To call me butt hurt is gravely diminishing the actual situation.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major?

Apparently my mom's vagina falls under advanced sign language skills

Soylent Pudding posted:

TIFU learning sign language.

Update

This is basic tunnel law

DogoDogo posted:

My neighbor won't unlock their side of the tunnel, has anyone ever experienced this before?

took my oral steroids thinking they would make him buff at the gym

Foo Diddley posted:

AITAH for locking up my “valuables” in my house?

I usually bust to this song and find it devastating she hates it

ascii genitals posted:

My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off

He started crying and throwing his juice all over the place.

Crocobile posted:

AITA for losing it on my husband for lying about an emergency to get me to leave my brother's wedding early?

She took it as a personal attack, which it was

DoubleNegative posted:

AITA for not going to rehab

A surprising number of redditors are going "ESH" because how dare this lady air her dirty laundry in public... after her mother already did so?

Fuckin' :decorum: man

Oh look, a bird scientist! Did you take bird classes in school??

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for using pretentious words?

Can't stop laughing at “Oh look, a bird scientist! Did you take bird classes in school??” for one of the most common birds in the world

dude how old are you what the hell

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my friend her boyfriend can’t come to my party because of a comment he made to my boyfriend?

Skidmarks on a thong

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for making sure my stepdaughter knows how to do laundry?

Obviously this is hilarious

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

AITA for flicking my boogers

get bent

surc posted:

AITA for calmly defending my thread title from people who wanted to ruin it?

It is not my responsibility to deal with consequences of my actions

teen witch posted:

AITA for smoking in the bathroom during a parent-teacher conference?

spychological factord

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

AITA for leaving my inlaws christmas dinner after I found out that they didn't make accommodations for me?

He threw his phone and sulked still mad he can't get a gun

olylifter posted:

Bf [36M] wants me [23F] to buy him a gun

and whatnot

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for asking my boss if he would be willing to switch my hours around because I am not a morning person?

Ketchup Debate & Discussion

kimbo305 posted:

There's one or two things that they are extremely 'sanctimonious' about :


and I always made sure to ask her how FLATULENCE was doing

Mx. posted:

AITA for purposefully "misnaming" a coworkers child when talking about them

I see where she's coming from, however, I am right

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for standing my ground about the likelihood of an illegitimate child being the man’s (versus the woman’s)?

My son, unfortunately, is like me.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for kicking out my son and his family because they won't leave my dog alone.


I dunno, that sounds like some straight people poo poo

Hughlander posted:

AITA for getting my friend a more expensive birthday gift? It upset his girlfriend who felt I crossed a line


UPDATE: speaking with a lawyer

Evil Willow posted:

AITA; Not doing anything for husband’s birthday

all the assholes under the sun

FMguru posted:

Another generous vacation invitation that turns out to be a stealth babysitting trap - with a killer twist.

AITA for not allowing my 17yo to be taken advantage of

Edit 3: he is not a cat.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for not wanting to be woke up in the middle of the night to make my husband food or rub him?

She basically called me an rear end in a top hat, in more than one language

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for asking my girlfriend to only speak English in our home?

supposedly the things I do are "red flags" and "toxic"

Evil Willow posted:

My 24M girlfriend 23F says I am being abusive.

I could find a new wife, but I couldn't get an arm back

ad090 posted:

AITA for refusing to see my wife's brother?

he simply let me gently caress up everything

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I'm[f36] getting really lonely, but hubby[m34] doesn't want to change our open relationship rules.


My code may be flawed, but it's my code.

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

AITA for refusing to kill a spider in my girlfriend's house?

I was seduced and basically mind controlled into a having an affair

Cythereal posted:

AITA for sending my family an angry email because they still speak to my ex-husband and even have him over, especially in light of his present “relationship” with a girl 20 years younger than him?

one of the cars got a little out of control as I was doing a pony

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA? My brother said I could borrow his cosplay lightsaber and I took it to a takeover/sideshow and he’s so upset with me after it got a tiny scratch and needs a new tube thing.

figure might not be entirely congruent with chronological reality

welcome to hell posted:

Accidentally stated I had 24 months experience and now I'm being investigated in LegalAdviceUK by "sraregulate"

The previous thread title was naan-compliant.

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for not letting my GF eat the naan bread we ordered?

B-but she's not eating the food she paid for how I want to :qq:

Where is the sprezzatura? Must you all look so pained?

vonnegutt posted:

I love that post, so I found it again:

I Can't Believe It

And the update:

Regardless of what they may feel, I am the primary stakeholder in the relationship

FMguru posted:

Rare estranged adult child story where you come down solidly on the side of the parents.

AITA for cancelling dinner with my parents after they tried to replace me?

OP disappears from her parents' lives, goes no contact for nine years, actively rejects all attempts to recontact her, is dumped by the dirtbag she was warned not to run off with, scrapes along on rock bottom for five years, and when she finally reaches back out to her family, she is stunned to discover that her parents didn't spend the previous nine years preserved in stasis or wearing mourning black for their departed daughter, but went on with their lives, and is furious. Amazing.

OP is on a roll in comments

The primary stakeholder has spoken!

she has always thought that I look down on her. I do, but

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my stepmother that by her standards I am better than her?

when he puts on his socks he looks like a lollipop now

artsy fartsy posted:

WIBTA for telling my husband he's just fat?

I am off to go fingerprint my box of fruit snacks

Hughlander posted:

AITAH for making a microscope slide of my husbands sperm


screaming about how ghosts are probably already haunting the place

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA For putting a "vortex" in our restaurant?

I'm not a "narcissist" if anything she is.

FMguru posted:

AITA for “ruining” my daughters graduation?

i have never cleaned my home and will not be starting now

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for 'stealing' from my 17 year old stepdaughter?

my bf and Ike was having a debate over acceptable use of the n-word

Mx. posted:

AITB for abandoning my friend of 3 years bc he compared me to another girl?

oh John the Baptist oooo yeahh Baptizing with water

Fatty posted:

Song I am writing

This sounds like a way to prevent men from playing video games

blackmet posted:

My (36F) boyfriend (43M) refuses to do the Fair Play method and I'm at my wits end about chores. How can I get him to participate in housework more fairly?

we're going to see my real (not a pillow) father for Christmas

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for keeping my expensive body pillow?

too plain, too plebeian, too perverted, too much mayonnaise

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for saying my brother-in-law should bring his own food to the party?

I’m not gonna strangle my own fuckin brother god drat it.

Vim Fuego posted:

How do I get my brother to stop calling himself a sigma alpha male.

It was one sex. Just one

Buzzman posted:

I cheated on my (M30) wife (F28) and now I don't know how to get her back to normal


together they form a bullshit Voltron

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

Let's check in on Captain Awkward.

Need to convince my ex-husband to have my babies.

"it's just piss," he insists.

Buzzman posted:

how can i (f26) convince my boyfriend (28m) to wash his hands after peeing?

Scooby Doo Clue belongs in the Scooby Doo Clue box

Mazerunner posted:

Im marrying a monster

to which he followed up asking WHO is Ukraine.

Moon Slayer posted:

AITA for breaking up with my fiance just because he is dumb ?

I found out because they are both stupid

FMguru posted:

AITAH for using my husband's affair with my cousin against them?

NO THIS IS NOT A CAT POST

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

AITA for pushing my sister cup off my dresser?

In my best Goofy impression I said

Odd posted:

I [23f] created a 1:1 scale puppet version of my boyfriend [22m] and showed it to him during foreplay as a joke. Now he hasn’t texted me in 12 hours and I’m starting to get worried. How do I get him to text me back?

I have nothing against this baby.

Admiral Joeslop posted:

Am I the rear end in a top hat for telling my boyfriend ex wife I won’t babysit her child?

pentyne fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Mar 26, 2024

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pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
Wasn't there an AAM about some middle manager who organized a happy hour or something, was encouraging everyone to eat some weed edibles, then surprised then with a drug test the next day?

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

spouse posted:

I had a question about this situation, though I feel I already know the answer. I have next to no experience with the legal system beyond traffic violations. When the cops pick her up for escaping court ordered rehab, will the court most likely send her back to rehab and *then* prison for the violation, or just straight to prison?

Also, her sister getting into drugs is very likely because she had to play Anna and never got to be Elsa when they played Frozen. This is all OP's fault.

"No, not that kind of snowman. poo poo"

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
Every single time there's some cooking safety thing brought up at least one goon freely talks about some insane thing that is normal to them, like burning pots to ash about 1x a year from forgetting it on the stove.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

spouse posted:


My girlfriend of seven years (and best friend for my entire life) cheated on me with my older brother.


Update: My girlfriend of seven years (and best friend for my entire life) cheated on me with my older brother.

The rare story where all the family members actually align with the wronged party. Hope he gets therapy too, glad he doesn't give a gently caress about the underlying reasons why they did it.

I hope we get Update: my older brother mysteriously died in the woods :murder:

Also I can tell OP will be okay because between the first and second update he learned how to double return on reddit.

edit: from the comments

Makes a good point that even if someone fucks up and there are circumstances like that, it still doesn't erase the pain and suffering the wronged party went through. Wanting to sever and move on is a completely fair thing to do and saying "that's a therapist's problem" is about as humane as someone suffering a massive betrayal can really be. There's some quote about forgiveness I can't remember that it's really more to the benefit of the offender then any sense of closure or healing.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
I'm pouring through a previous thread trying to find a "woe is me life sucks" about a guy bemoaning his life talking about how little the sawmill is paying and how the country is being run by communists who won't given a hard working man a fair wage and casually mentions his family used to be really wealthy but they lost everything and moved North shortly after 1865.....

Anyways this made me cackle like a maniac and I wanted to remind everyone of it

La Brea Carpet posted:

me: i think i might have a severe intestinal parasite that is causing me lots of anguish please don't sing dragula
my anus: dead i am the one
me, sobbing: please please i got a phone call from the parasitology lab
my doctor via speakerphone: conquering the worm

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
Y'all missed the part where the mistress is married and her husband was raising the first kid? Like had him on the birth certificate and everything?

It's gonna be messy as hell but I don't think custody battles allow a women to sue a widow who inherited the biological father's assets for a share after the fact. What even would be the ruling? That financial assets, now legally recognized as OP's who has no connection to the affair babies, are suddenly up for re-evaluation? Is the whole problem with wills and inheritance that if someone is excluded or left out, tough luck?

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

therobit posted:

AITA for asking another player in Dungeons & Dragons to change the name of their character because it goes against my religion?

can't say the name of my God nor can anyone else but I can play this game with magic spells and demons.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

ponzicar posted:

I think deliberately messing with the religious sensibilities of another player unprovoked is a dick move, even if their specific beliefs seem ridiculous.

I think when they want to make a scene over a characters name in a Dungeons and Dragons game, then their entire holier then thou arguments can eat poo poo because clearly they just pick those battles whenever its convenient.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

ShootaBoy posted:

You realize that you're siding with the guy who's response to "that's offensive to my religion" is "lol stop being such a sensitive snowflake", right?

edit: and what the gently caress does playing DnD have to do with it? Its a game, he doesn't have to think its real just because he believes in a god.

Calling yourself a hardcore Christian then playing a game with magic and demons is very much the "pick and choose" style of what religious rules you want to follow.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Given the age real curious if she was kicked out for having a kid at 18 or for some similar "pay for my child" poo poo. Same for why she's going after a neighbor for child support and not the biological father.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

There is no way on earth a real lawyer wrote that child support demand.

It was free legal aide, she probably lied her rear end off hoping that would work. Anyone trying to shake down a neighbor for child support money is probably not a good person in other areas of life.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
i never tip the security guards unless it was a 5* experience, from arrest, processing, and release.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Soylent Pudding posted:

Speaking of the categorical imperative "be gay, do crime", does anyone have the saga from /legaladvice where a family disowned their son for being gay, the son leaves his entire estate to his fiance, then the family "decide as a family" they actually deserve the money for the anguish son put them through by being a homosexual, and successfully pressured the executor to illegally give it to them. Then the fiance found out and the family freaked when told about the civil and criminal liability they were facing.

(MA) late brother's partner suing family for Money

quote:

Our brother age 34M died of cancer 9 months ago. He was very successful and left behind money and assets. He also had a Will. My brother was also in a gay relationship for 8 years with a 28M partner. Our family is religious and yes we may not have approved the relationship we still loved our brother. He unfortunately died of cancer and left a will. Left most of the money to his gay partner. They weren't even married

We decided money to be kept within the family and but gave his partner some money. We also paid for brothers funeral and medical Bill's. We thought that was the end of it. But now his ex partner is suing us for the rest of the funds. I don't know how he got hold of the will. My family is still grieving and now this man wants to take us to court. Trying to see how to solve this without involving the court. Thank you for your advice

quote:

I am trying to see how I can approach him and his lawyers to set up a plan. He is very angry at us. My father said some negative minor racial massages and am trying to see how I can work with him without making things worse.

quote:

Yeah you are mostly right, but we had no issue with him getting inheritance, we just didn't think he deserved all the money he got. Especially because we paid for most of the things connected to my brother.

quote:

My sister was in charge of the will, according to his partner he did not want to be in charge because ' he didn't want to deal with us' 'he hates us' so my sister who was best friends with my brother acted as the middle ground for us and his partner. We were shocked when we read the will. We didn't expect it to be that unfair. I am trying to make it right

quote:

We are a big family, most of the money was distributed throughout family members which we thought was only fair. We cant pay the full amount because the money is mostly gone.

quote:

Wow that is very harsh, money wise we made a mistake and thought his friend would understand since as family we have contributed to our brothers success. We are also not bigots.

quote:

We are trying to make it right. Most of his money he made we helped support him with his business. My parents raised him and paid for his school, dont they deserve that money more than his so called friend? They weren't even married let alone engaged.

Top comment

quote:

So, things you can worry about :

To be sued for the value of everything that was detailed to him in the will. You will almost certainly lose.
Punitive damages. Don't be surprised if they go for triple.
You'll be on the hook for attorney's fees.
If the value was >$1200, then the sister could, in theory, be charged with felony theft/conversion and/or contempt of the probate court. That would also come with fees and possible jail time.

The real question is who the court will force to repay the money. The person with the most exposure is the sister, as the executor. She's looking at a complete and total wipeout, and she cannot discharge that debt in bankruptcy. She can expect wages to be garnished, tax refunds and lottery winnings to be garnished, her credit to be trashed, and if she is charged with anything, severely limited future employment prospects.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

spouse posted:

Based off "well off" and mid 30's I'm presuming they gave him a couple grand and really he was owed in the 5-6 figures. He should just take them to the cleaners, even if it takes years, pursue criminal charges for the fraud, and gouge a symbol of his love with his partner deep into the rotting family tree.

Also, "I dunno how he got a copy of the will" not only gives away how craven these loving bigots are, but also that they knew what they were doing was illegal.

They stole $850k.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
All the fanfiction in the thread about that story and no one even considers that he might just tell the son "well, we just drifted apart, and once you turned 18 I decided you were old enough that when we split it wouldn't be traumatic"

You know he doesn't have to tell the son how many dicks his mom was taking, right?

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

spouse posted:

I said it before, I'll say it again: the only options in this situation are Machiavellian long-play fake relationship of false affection and stability, or break up and watch powerlessly as your child is cast into an unending hellpit of abuse. There are no other choices, as our most wise posters have informed us.

If you or anyone has this, I'd love if you could post it, I must've missed this one.

It's not the specific one but here's a doozy

My (49M) wife (48F) left the family for her affair partner a year ago but now she says she wants to fix things.

quote:

My wife and I have been married for just over 9 years. We have an 8 year old son together.

She was a full time SAHM after our son was born. However in April 2019 she went back into the workforce working part time as an assistant for a manager at a medical software sales company.

She was bummed that she wasn’t pulling in a lot in terms of salary but I was happy for her because I hoped that a job would be motivating for her.

She had already complained that she wished I could be more spontaneous and “ interesting” but despite attempts at counseling she could never explain what “ interesting” meant.

However, three months into her job, I found her to be a more happy person. Less critical of everything I do and a more patient mother to our son. Our intimate life had basically been dead for around 5 years and she had shown interest in recharging that.

What I didn’t know was that she had begun an affair with a surgeon (now 53M) she met at a medical conference.

Her job involves travel to go to medical conferences and visit clinics and hospitals. The surgeon lived in a nearby big city and she would use “ work” as an excuse to see him.

This went on behind my back, as she would later tell me, from July 2019 to around April 2020, when she admitted that her work was much more remote during COVID than she had convinced me it was, and she had been driving to see her AP.

She told me the AP was interesting and he was everything that I wasn’t meaning he made a lot of money, had lucrative side businesses with his family, and lectured around the country and loved to travel and enjoy life.

She said she regretted becoming a mom because it has made her stay with me for the greater part of a decade and that she needed time to think.

She told me to not follow her and had already had loaded up her car and left to stay in a room that she was subletting from a friend.

I was left to deal with the fallout including my son’s troubling levels of anxiety and his increased inability to get along with anyone in school.

He’s cried himself to sleep thinking he’s unlovable and my wife refused to return calls. The only thing she did do was send me a letter establishing the date of separation and her intention to file for divorce a year from the date of separation.

People are all telling me to file for divorce as soon as our state lets us and tell the court that my wife abandoned the family.

Five months ago she tried to get me to sign a separation agreement with bogus terms which I refused and decided to go see a lawyer.

Then two months ago she started talking to me about how she wants to be more civil with me from now on. Then last week she asked to meet.

She starts crying and saying her AP was abusive and that he told her that he was divorcing his wife of 3 years (26F) who he was separated from.

Turns out the wife was in another city finishing up her final year of graduate school but when she found out about the affair she went “ psycho” and the AP stood by and did nothing as his wife called my wife’s employer, which caused her to have to leave her job. He merely admitted that he did adore his wife and wanted to let her follow her dreams but had a hard time dealing with long distance and pretty much admitted that his wife said she was ok with him having one night stands but he regrets hurting her now and for letting it drag on.

The AP also said nothing when his wife texted my wife that he was not leaving her and that they would file restraining orders if she ever contacted them again.

My wife said that she had a moment of insanity and that she was willing to get therapy but that at no point did she intend to be malicious and that she was a victim of his lies.

She said she was struggling and said she wanted to move back in and be a family again.

What do I do? How do I deal with someone who has caused so much pain? If we’re cohabitating again I can’t guarantee that I won’t develop feelings for her again.

Most importantly I don’t know how to deal with this in a way to inflict the least trauma on my son. I had been prepared to respond to a divorce petition but my wife said she’d lose it if I filed right now and said she just wanted to find the love we once had.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

therobit posted:

AITA for getting mad at my trans friends new name?

That seems like the kind of thing that will quickly self correct or turn that friend group super insular as anyone new asks "what the gently caress why do you have a Korean name?" for what I assume is a white person, and if these people start screaming "transphobe" at them it's going to become a thing where everyone knows about that crazy rear end white trans girl and her toxic social clique.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

teen witch posted:

it sucks the uh, quote attributor is no poo poo :catdrugs: but “great tits and an ashkenazi IQ” is one of my favorite phrases.

Carry on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqO8Yh5Ngqg

You can see the fight or flight response literally turning on in his eyes.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Thumbtacks posted:

Found it again. Poor Torkbuzz.

TIFU by getting married (as a surprise) during my friends wedding reception.

drat made getting married after 4 months the least stupid thing he did that day

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

snergle posted:

he doesnt like fat / ugly people and the it gets better campaign he started was kinda lovely. it basically boiled down to suck it up keep your head down and you can be accepted like these 4 famous gays.

Something like "now that gay marriage is legal those flaming queers need to stay inside and let the respectable gays run the show"

I think there was some bit about eradicating gay culture because it would be better if all the gays just acted like heteros.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Funktastic posted:

Really long sorry but it’s both nice to see someone grow through the updates but also it’s insane in a not very obvious way

I’m jealous of my employee and it’s impacting how I treat her

Update 1

update 2

final update

quote:

A criminal case from my conduct to my former employee and the reappearance of an ex-boyfriend. The court case resulted in conviction. I got a suspended sentence because I had already gone to rehab on my own and settled the lawsuit at the first chance.

Yo holy gently caress, how do you treat a subordinate so badly that you end up with a criminal conviction over it? And how is it related to an ex?

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

I didn't get a tax return in on time one year for ~reasons~. I called the IRS to get a handle on my options, basically it turns out there's no penalty for not filing a return when you are owed a refund. Well I guess the penalty is that you're not getting your refund until you file the return, but there's no fee or penalty or anything.

After 3 years pass you automatically waive your right to that refund and the IRS keeps it.

But you don't pay them? They'll will hunt you to the grave.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

nvidiagouge posted:

It's not always a wiping thing sometimes a fart just gets away from you, ma'am.

[42/f] My boyfriend (38/m) is constantly farting and soiling his pants and i find that it's very gross.

quote:

My boyfriend is overweight and diabetic. A few months ago however, he got a gastric bypass done. It was nice at first to see him dropping pounds, but he’s completely changed as a person. He won’t even eat dinner. I’ll work hard preparing a meal and he’ll just sit it out. We go out to eat with our friends, and they’re eating burgers and chicken wings and beer, laughing and having a great time. But he just sits down, eats a salad, and mopes. He just stares sadly at the food and looks at us with puppy dog eyes, i feel guilty eating junk food in front of him but i’m hungry and like pizza and stuff.

But the worst thing, is the farting. All he ever does now is fart and use the bathroom. He practically lives in the bathroom now and it always smells like raw sewage afterwards. No matter what we’re doing, whether we’re shopping, asleep in bed. He just rips off the biggest loudest farts. He always blushes whenever he does. I am disgusted by it. But i don’t say anything.

It actually gets worse, is the pooping. It seems at least twice a week, he’ll crap his pants. We’ll be going through Wal-Mart or during a yard sale and he’ll just disappear. I’ll see him in the car and he’ll tell me he just pooped himself. It’s hell taking him grocery shopping or anywhere because he keeps pooping himself. Every time we leave the house, he forces us to sit near the bathroom. It gets worse because of the smell and i can see it leaking down his pant leg. It's so bad now that he started bringing spare pants with him.

He says he just gets sudden spells of diarrhea and he just can't help it. I suggest getting him diapers but he gets so mad when i draw attention to it. I just wanted to help.

Today was the worst though. We went out to this fancy place for Valentine’s Day, you had to have reservations and the place was packed, the only seat was in the center and far from the bathroom. We were eating dinner and everything went ok, he took a couple bites of my dessert because “He hadn’t eaten it in so long”. After dinner however, he kind of tripped and landed on his butt. He was ok and tried standing back up, but stopped. He looked like he was about to cry. I got close and could smell that same sewer smell. He told me he pooped himself again. I tried helping him up, but he’s still a bigger guy and i’m smaller framed. The smell was too much, I noticed everyone staring and i could even see that feces had started leaking from his pants. I was very humiliated because of everyone staring. I bolted out and said “I wish you never got that surgery.”

I didn’t leave him, I came right back in. He was up and just sulked back to the car.

Wait a second, gastric bypass....

La Brea Carpet posted:

It's called dumping syndrome and is common after gastric bypass especially when you eat a high sugar or high fat meal.

Well, drat, guess maybe he's just unluc-

quote:

Shrimp, Frozen Pizzas, Burritos, Burgers, Steak, Tacos, Mac and Cheese. That's what we eat for dinner.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

PancakeTransmission posted:

Gotta say, maybe I'm not a real goon but I have no skid marks on any of my underwear. Don't poo poo myself and neither do my farts somehow spray poo poo all over them

If you are having wet farts often enough for it to be a recurring laundry issue, you're eating garbage tier food way too often or you need to see a doctor asap. The only other acceptable reason would be because you have violent uncontrollable diarrhea from food poisoning or the flu.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
r/relationships: had a virtue affair with a catfisher

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

OhAreThey posted:

My question would be have they tried easing into it--like, a week where they just kiss, a couple weeks to learn to touch each other sensually, one finger in the puss for a while, etc etc. It's this whole "zero to sixty" bullshit that freaks people out. Although if you've been raised to fear your own sexuality, even easing into it could be difficult.

because she's gay and was pressured into a marriage because of religion

edit: well poo poo, apparently oral sex has been a regular thing between them, so something else is going on

pentyne fucked around with this message at 22:22 on Oct 26, 2021

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Cowslips Warren posted:

I seriously wonder what the dudes in those religions are taught. Nothing at all, I am sure, about being a ripped up piece of garbage paper the more people you kiss. Nothing at all about purity. Maybe encouragement to wait until marriage, and then game loving on?

I remember reading something from Orthodox Jewish couples, and the biggest thing the husbands complained/were unhappy with was their sex life. How their wives were never into it, or submitted but clearly found it painful. Some of them wanted their wives to actually enjoy sex, but, amazingly, being told all your life how you are gutter trash if you lose your virginity makes for some hosed up mentality.



AITA for telling my sister i hope she never has a child

The common thread in most of these stories is that the baby demanders have repeatedly been turned down by professional agencies that place children. There's definitely a reason for that.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

MarcusSA posted:

No but seriously how often to people actually get their windows washed where it would be a thing you need a regular guy for?

It could be 1x a year and I would still tell someone to gently caress off if they wanted me to fire him because of some high school tier drama.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Barudak posted:

Kobe beef, like all japanese meat cuts, is trash and there is a considerable market in Japan for imported and alternate cut beef to escape it.

This is what the "no green m&m" rider for bands was about. That sentence was in the stage setup instructions packet which included all the safety info, so if they walked into the backstage area and saw green m&ms in the bowl they knew the fuckers didn't read it and the stage was probably unsafe

Yeah it was their red flag to then check everything on their own. I think one stadium tried to get away with like high school stadium flooring equivalent and the band set-up sunk through the flooring and caused nearly 6 figures worth of damage that the promotor/stadium had to pay for.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Gnoman posted:

Sharing this one because I've rarely seen so effective a way to say a lot about yourself while saying nothing at all.


Should I (24F) break up with my bf (24M) because of his bigoted opinions?

From the comments:

It's tough because "mainstream media is lying" is used by both right wing maga chuds and hardcore socialist genocide deniers, so either way it's pretty clear the OP is some flavor of a trash fire human being.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

spouse posted:

Unfortunately denmark extradites to the US, so no ez plan of murder and get on a plane to chill with dad.


Here's a fun one:

19M - Slytherin attitude

well-known extremely smart video gamer loner lord voldemort.

These people weren't even alive when the first Harry Potter book came out how does it have this much of a stranglehold on the culture? I'd think by now it looks fairly antiquated oh also the writer is a massive bigot.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Midnight Voyager posted:

I feel like there's a different vibe from your thing and from literally saying "guess who".

Moreso saying it twice after the person screams at you to answer them.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Funktastic posted:

AITA for being annoyed when my nephew always orders the most expensive food on the menu?

Curious why the sister-in-laws husband isn't one of the options to pay.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
I usually just tip the dishwasher $1 per plate.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
My (22f) fiance (25m) want his father to check my hymen tomorrow night before I get married.

quote:

My fiance proposed to me about 8 months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding which is in two days. Everything was going great. He seems absolutely perfect and we are very much in love.

I am a virgin and so is he, he wanted to save it for marriage and I wasn't fussed so I agreed to saving it. He has told me earlier that in his family the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounds like a massive joke. No turns out he was dead serious. He wants me, the night before to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing so his dad can check me while him, his brothers and uncle can watch so that they know I am still 'pure'.

I told him fat chance I am going to do that and he was begging to me to go through with it and how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did and it will prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide anyway as I am still a virgin. I left and he was crying, it was very dramatic tbh.

I want to call off the whole wedding because of this and never talk to him again. But at the same time its only one thing and other then that we are genuinely perfect for each other and I dont want to spend my life with anyone else and it is very important to him and his family.

What the frick frack do I do. I am currently at my friends house and I might stay here for the night. tomorrow would be our last day as an unmarried couple and I am straight up panicking.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012
AITA for refusing to follow my girlfriend’s weird family tradition?

quote:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years and engaged for one. Not too long after we had been dating she told me about her family tradition for marriages. She said that the boy must take the mother of the bride out on a date night, buy her a dress and something to sleep in, pay for everything and buy them a hotel to stay in. She said that it’s nothing to be worried or freaked out about and that getting the hotel doesn’t mean you have to sleep together (although a long time ago it did). I laughed a little bit and asked if she was serious. She said that she was. I had a hard time believing it but I didn’t care to discuss it anymore. We never really talked about it, until this past week. I had honestly pretty much forgot about it. My girlfriend and I have our wedding in less than a month. We were taking about wedding stuff and she asked me if I had picked out what her mom and I were going to do for our date night. I laughed it off and waited for her to move on. She didn’t, she looked confused as to why I was laughing. She insisted again that this was 100% serious and that she expected me to do it.

I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with doing that. I didn’t want to spend a night alone in a hotel with someone who wasn’t my girlfriend or wife. I asked her why we would have to get a hotel. She explained that a long time ago the mother of the bride would actually sleep with the boy and that it was viewed as a way to kick off the marriage. I asked if she expected me to do that. She laughed and said of course not, but that she couldn’t be upset with me if it did happen. She then said that her mother doesn’t plan to actually do anything sexual. Still kinda freaked out by the whole concept, I asked if I could just buy the mom dinner. My girlfriend got more upset and asked me why I was refusing to follow a fun tradition. I simply said that I just don’t feel comfortable with it. She said that I’m acting like a stubborn kid and that I should just have fun. I insisted that I wouldn’t do the hotel part.

She left and went on to tell her family. They have all reached out to me and asked me what is wrong with me and why I’m being such a jerk about it. The mom called me and she actually was nice about it. She said that she thinks I’m a great guy and that while she would love to have a night together, she understands that I have a right to say no. She even said that she spoke to my girlfriend about it and told her that I have that right. Nonetheless my girlfriend is still upset with me.

I will mention as well that my girlfriend and her family are from a different culture so that is probably why I’m not accustomed to this. Am I the rear end in a top hat for being stubborn about continuing this tradition?

quote:

I think I’d be okay with sharing a bed is well. My only concern there is if we do have alcohol. Sleeping in a bed with someone attractive with alcohol in you’re system is never a smarty thing to do

quote:

I am sure we would be drinking alcohol that night. Even the most committed person with alcohol can be tempted and stuff. What if she did make the first move? Or what if I did

quote:

They’re Roma, but as a lot of other people have mentioned, I can’t find any thing about that culture doing that. It sounds like it’s either a family thing or just very rare

quote:

That’s not bad points. I actually do think I’d enjoy taking her on a night out. She’s really nice and fun to be around. I just have to figure out what to do about the hotel part. It may sounds weird, but the main reason I’m uncomfortable doing that is because she’s really attractive and I feel like I’d be tempted to do stuff.

Somehow, the idea of "just don't get drunk" never occurred to this OP.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

kimbo305 posted:

Can anyone confirm if this is very normal in Euope Romani culture?
Is it just a weird character assassination?

The OP said in the comments he talked to other Romani people and they all told him it was extremely weird and not something they'd ever heard of.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

coronatae posted:

The follow-up letter is equally weird (hope I'm not stepping on your toes with this, A Wizard of Goatse)

tell me you don't have an HR department without telling me you don't have an HR department

the head guy is absolutely going to start hitting on all the 22 year old women and expecting them to gently caress him for some quick duck points.

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pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

r/relationships: berth ell pope

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