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BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Bean posted:

... this may all stem from my secret desire to host a nerd makeover show.

VH1 already did this. It's called The Pickup Artist.

See before:



And after:



You can hardly tell that they're losers now.

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BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Just wanted to add to the (bass) guitar and prom pics.



BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011


Soon the city will be mine, and Vigo's ... mainly Vigo's.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Crasscrab posted:

I didn't know we were talking about how the ugly people in this thread make us feel tingly!

Well, making us feel itchy is pretty similar to making us feel tingly.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Here are some fatties so we can get back to shaming fat people and everyone can stop fighting.







BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

JoeyJoJoJr Shabadoo posted:

Is this a textbook? A REAL textbook?

NO. NO. JUST. NO.

E2: Actually I am curious... if it is a real textbook, which one? Why? Is it for a non-credit course for adults, like Internet 101?

It was posted in the Meme/Macro ghetto. It's apparently a Va. Tech. text book for an Introduction to Composition class being taught by forums user 3Romeo.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Stultus Maximus posted:

Hey, what's with that (imitation) poor black trash music?

Don't you know that the bluesmen were the good ones? They didn't listen to rap or get government assistance. They didn't drink or smoke pot. They liked to wear suits all the time.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Ez posted:

Hahaha, first transitions lenses, and now different tie knots are enough to immediately brand somebody awkward. This thread has the :spergin:iest bunch of goons that ever gooned.

I agree. I mean real man have class, not swag. Think of Bogart and Sinatra. Fedoras, transition lenses and goofy necktie knots make the man.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Goddamn. I must be the awkward one. I always use a Don Shelby knot and use an old fashioned double sided safety razor and badger brush. I shine my own shoes and iron my own shirts, too.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

EmmyOk posted:

He did say he initially only allowed three sucks, so I think you're on to something there.

Might as well post the quote



This banner at the top of the page is pretty :smith: too.



So if I want to have sex should I click the button or not?

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011





BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Haymaker_Betty posted:

I've said this before, but I really, really think it's about the fit and the fabric. Utilikilts are made out of khaki, which doesn't drape. "Real Tartan" kilts are made out of a softer, heavier fabric that isn't so stiff. The two garments are a completely different fit. Men's shapes are like a downward V, so when they wear skirts that flare out, it doesn't complement their shape. If they wear straighter-lined skirts, they look better.

Which is a) why you don't see a lot of male models wearing Utilikilts, just men who don't know how to dress, and b) why men in straighter-lined skirts look more put-together and "right" to our brains, which are usually inundated with hypermasculine images of men, not "feminized" images of men.


Good.


Good.


Ugly skirt, but good lines... but not QUITE good enough.


EW.


EWEST.

I wish there was a Nerd Makeover Thread :smith:

What do you think about funny necktie knots?

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Look at this dude:


I mean who wears a double breasted jacket?

And this dude:


Green socks!

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Inspector Zenigata posted:

Jesus Christ, what's wrong with that guy's face?

It's called having fun.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Rujo King posted:

I'd almost call it anatomically correct, based on this famous image:


I like this one better:

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Inspector Zenigata posted:

As far as I can tell, flopping isn't exactly a good way to earn respect at any level of pro soccer, and the people who are caught doing it are mercilessly ridiculed at every opportunity. I'm not saying people in this thread are doing exactly, but when people use gifs like that to say "THIS is why soccer isn't a thing in America" or disingenuously imply that such behavior is the norm, it rubs me the wrong way. It just seems petty to judge a whole sport and/or the people that play it by the poor conduct of a small subset of them.

Where can I get some of that magic poo poo in a stick that makes players who were crying like they had broken their leg hop up the instant after it's applied ready to play?

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Planet Piss posted:

Wasn't there a show that took gross nerds and tried to turn them into functioning adults? I could swear there was something like that

It was called The Pickup Artist. It transformed these geeks:

into the ladies men they are now: .

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Picnic Princess posted:



Wow, such a hottie :allears:

He and the two guys flanking him were the ones giving the makeover.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Look at this goony gently caress who built himself a Disney Sound Source.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KUdBgg8Oe4

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Next season, TLC brings you Porch Monkeys. Watch the first family of porch swing manufacturers get in some stupid argument.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

*Wait'll you see my dick.*

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbaxHjxOlo4

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

I like the smile Obama makes after he cracks the Dwayne Johnson joke and how McCain doesn't realize that his hook only works because "do" rhymes with "you".

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Ofaloaf posted:

Polis is one of the best congressmen in the House of the Representatives and no ill should be spoken of him. :colbert:

That being said, the bow tie and awkwardly slicked-down hair don't really work that well on him.

I'm glad you like his polo shirt.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

meataidstheft posted:

Googling 'double jaw surgery' is strangely fascinating.

Meanwhile this advertisement for cosmetic jaw surgery is awkward:





e: here's his family tree

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Inspector Zenigata posted:

What does "uses their own name as a callsign" mean?

:kheldragar:

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

AlbieQuirky posted:

In the Appalachians, it's "hunkering". I don't know about the heel position, though.

No one who lives in the Appalachians can get down into a full squat. They're all too fat and lazy and poor.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z49whgBNCyE&t=60s

I got a vasectomy. Now I can't breed em.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Kheldragar posted:

:siren: OH MY GOD THE HAVE SHAVED HALF NOT GOES INTO HIS PANTS

There's nothing wrong with shaving your balls, and if somebody is going to shave half of his body, except his arms (and maybe legs), of course he's gonna shave his pubes.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011


That has to be from an opera, right?

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Backweb posted:

Fedora or no fedora Bill Clinton is not Awkward, Ugly, nor Gross :colbert:

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

Thank God the internet and social networking weren't real big things when we were kids.

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BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

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